Endearment To My Star

Bruce: we will continue to utilize the Batmobile, of course. But we needed an upgrade and we got one. Introducing-

Bruce [pause-for-dramatic-effect Wayne]: the Bat-tank

Dick:

Jason:

Tim:

Steph:

Cass:

Damian:

Duke: fine, I'll say it- that's just an armored minivan

Bruce: what? It's not-

Jason: It has sliding doors

Bruce: for efficiency and convenience-

Dick: i think it's neat! But... yeah, not really a tank

Steph: very spacious, yet very compact, very on brand for a mom with 6-9 kids

Bruce: it has all of the features and capabilities of the Batmobile-

Damian: Father, I for one admire your priority, practicality is far more important than being fashionable.

Bruce: i, wha- It very clearly has lasers and it's bullet-proof! How is that unfashionabl- I know my brand!

Tim: aww, enough cup holders for the whole family, very thoughtful, Bruce

Bruce: The Bat-tank WILL strike fear into the enemies of Gotham!

Jason: our enemies will see us speeding at 700mph and assume you're late to your kid's soccer game

Bruce: Okay! Okay, so we needed a family car, but this isn't-

Cass: Recital

Bruce: *gasp* OH, we're going to be late for Cass's dance recital, everyone in the van!

Dick: I thought it was a tank-

Bruce, glaring: Cass gets shotgun since she's the only one who respects the Bat-tank!

Cass: yes... very scary *pats Bruce's arm affectionately*

Bruce: Hurry up, everyone! Duke, the backseats unfold if you press the button underneath-

Duke: yeah I know how minivans work

Bruce: It's not-

Bruce:

Bruce: oh no.

Dick: there's the moment of realization we were waiting for

Bruce, whispering: It IS a minivan.

Tim: can we go to Bat Burger after this?

Damian: Seconded

Jason: yes thank fuck I'm starving

Dick: Language! Here, little D, you can sit by me

Steph: ugh, why do I have to sit in the middle?

Duke: this thing comes with chargers, right, Bruce?

Bruce: I'm... I'm a minivan mom.

Cass, smiling: Our minivan mom

Brought to you by the various Biology/Chemistry practicals I've had to do that didn't work (or gave unusable results) so some creative interpretation was employed

its alright... i love these hands.

oops not rlly my usual content but consider. him

Little timkon doodle based on a Pinterest pic

(Belt as in utility belt)

Cover for Nightwing #126 by Vasco Georgiev

Gothamite to their child: it was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a—

The vroom vroom of the Batmobile on the street:

Gothamite: other then those motherfuckers

Two roads neurodiverged in a yellow wood, or whatever it was that Robert Frost said.

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bedtime stories on the nemesis