Latest Posts by bottledandspilt - Page 3
Will you ever come back?
i don't know how i can describe you
you're like my guardian angel who suddenly flew
leaving me overwhelmed by your greatness
since then, looking for you became my quest
you became my anchor to the real world
in the midst of coals, you became my gold
i hold on to you with everything i have
i lay at your feet all that i love
you made me happy like i thought i'd never be
in my own tiny prison, you set me free
right then, i thought something might last
but as i turn around, you became my past
as i sat there, feeling numb
i ask myself, how i can be so dumb?
that i have never realized, you were there only for a season
that you only came to teach me a painful lesson.
-D.G. Gir// 04/04/2018
Run, Baby, Run
My waters are murky and most people are afraid to swim the unknown. Don't try to go in if you don't plan on staying because I can't guarantee that I can let you out. Don't try me and test the waters. I don't need that. If you want, you can observe my waves from the shore. Don't dip, don't sail. I can't give you a safe passage. You might get shipwrecked. We will end up both broken. You will sink and you might be able to salvage your pieces but I know, I know you'll never be the same. And you'll blame me and I will say "I've warned you". If you're looking for a thrill, please not me. I can't promise to let you go when you became tired of the chaos I bring. I can't control my self. I'm toxic. So please, please just stay away. If you only want to experiment if you can fix the broken, cure a person, don't, don't, don't. I'm telling you now that you can't. So please, I don't want to be responsible for another disaster, for another nightmare. So stay away, stay away. Stay safe, I don't want you to regret me. I don't want to you to have that bitterness in your mouth whenever you think of me, because all I'll remind you of is wreckage and that piece of yourself I've robbed you of. I don't want let anyone down again. So leave me alone, and I'll let you be. Let us not hurt each other. I won't want to take a piece of your soul just because I have none.
Words, Words, Words
I write not because it make things better. I write because it's the only thing I know. And I know it's dumb. Words are very unreliable, yet it's the only thing I could hold on to. It's my rope. I know people tend to break them every time, but I don't care. I'll still hold on to it like its my last piece of thread. And maybe that's the reason behind my brokenness. Because I try to latched on the thing that people barely keep. But I can't help it. Words, writing them down, it doesn't always make everything clearer, but for me, it's the only thing that makes sense. The only constant in my life that I could turn to no matter what. And there's no word for everything. There are feelings and experiences that I cannot fathom into phrases or sentences. But somehow, when everything is fading too fast, and I'm alone and lost and confused, these breakable, limited words became enough for me. Not enough to be fine and happy, but enough to survive. And I hope it'll be enough for another day, because I honestly don't know what to do if it isn't.
I want someone to look me in the eyes
To see pass through the lies
You did, you once knew
But you walked away, can't handle the truth
That I'm a monster, a bringer of pain
Something which uses people for my own gain
And I admit I have demons but I don't want to destroy
I might not be like you but I also crave joy
I only want some company, a friend
Someone to hold my hand 'till these storms end
But I guess you only want the one I pretended to be
The normal one with simple personality
You don't want the edges, the imperfections, the flaws
That I'm in pieces, what's real and raw
You never wanted who I really am
I can't blame you, even I can't accept my own name.
-D.G. Gir// 03/31/2018
Deceitful Arrows
People say love would either save or destroy
I thought I have a choice, to hurt or to enjoy
But I met you and I experienced both
You opened my eyes, yet you never kept your oath
You saved me from drowning in the endless sea
But when I fell, you weren't there to catch me
So now, I'm lying with my broken pieces in the ground
Wishing you've let me stay lost, never to be found
People also say that when love is true
It will give you hope for something new
Yet my heart breaks every time it beats for you
Tell me, have you lied to me too?
Suddenly, I've realized that I'm plainly stupid
To let myself be stricken by mythical cupid
Now, my heart will always have a void, a remembrance from you
I have only loved once and you never even knew.
- D.G. Gir// 03/26/2018
I still love you
Maybe it's time to burn those unsent letters
Let my past go through smoke and embers
And the walls you breached should be once again fortified
Regain my dignity, my freedom, my pride
Though I love you and you'll always have a piece of my heart
It is time that I move on, move forward, and restart.
-D.G. Gir// 03/26/2018
Don't ask me why I put love in the same category as pain
Or why I avoid the sunshine and keep expecting the rain
If you've already forgotten, it's you who have broken promises
You, who proved how foolish I am to let down my defenses
Love left me open, vulnerable, hoping you won't hurt me
I offered you my soul, hoping you'd set me free
You took my broken pieces, forgetting about my past
Left me hanging, thinking that this would last
You snip away the thread when it was all I was holding on to
And bid me goodbye in the cruelest way I knew
You told me you want me and left
It seemed you can't handle to see how I see myself
It turns out that tearing my walls down and letting you in
Was only a silly game to prove that you will win
So I apologize for being naive and being in love
I should haven't given away the little that I have.
-D.G. Gir
I want to write everything that doesn't make sense
About you, the moonlight, the fence
But even if I did manage to put them into words
It won't be different, still the same repetitive chords.
Him
The way he talks,
The way he laughs
Is like music to my ears
The way he says my name,
The way he smiles
Take away all my fears
But as I think,
And fall asleep
While wiping away my tears
I know that I’ve fallen
For a man
Who won’t ever hold me near.
-jileeza