One, two, three, breath Chris you’re fine. My internal monologue screamed at me, clawed at my brain. He wouldn’t ditch me, not when it’s something important, he just wouldn’t.
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, it’s fine, it’s going to be fine. He’ll be here in a few minutes, he’s only five minutes late, it’s fine. I looked down at the mug sitting on the table in front of me, trying to drown out the buzz of the people around me. I ran a hand through my dark hair, my finger tapping on the table mindlessly, the buzz of these people’s gonna drive me insane. That’s when I heard the door open.
Benny sat down in the seat across from me, a smile across his face, I must look panicked because as soon as he looked at me his expression turned to worry. “Chris, are you alright?” he sounded genuinely concerned, maybe he wouldn’t run away. No, he wouldn’t do that, Benny isn’t like that. He’s not, and I know that.
“Benny, if I told you something that you might not like, would you stick around?” my voice was shaky and his eyes widened at the question.
“You know I wouldn’t up and leave you.” He picked up my mug and took a sip of the coffee inside, looking at me over the cup. The light hit his eyes and made the dark brown look like rich honey. I liked his eyes, they made me feel safe.
“Well, um… I just don’t want you to hate me,” I took the mug from his hands a took a sip, letting the warm liquid help settle my nerves. I could feel that lump in my throat, and the burn in the back of my eyes, “you’re my best friend.”
“I could never hate you, man you’re like the most important person to me,” he put his hand over the mug and lowered it to the table, locking his eyes with mine, not letting me drop my gaze. “Chris I could never.” He said it strongly a firm expression on his face. He wasn’t lying, he wouldn’t leave.
I took in a breath. “So, you know how you’ve been trying to set me up with a girl?” He nodded his head, knowing not to speak or I might go into a panic. “I want… no, I need you to stop.” I put my hands on the table scraping at the wood with my nail.
“Okay, you don’t want a relationship that’s fine man, I mean whenever you’re ready.” he leaned back in his seat. “I’m sorry I pushed that.”
I away from him, biting at my lip, and shaking my head. “It’s… It’s not that I don’t want a relationship, Benny…” my voice was barely a whisper, but he heard me. My vision started to become blurry and I looked out the window. I felt the wet tear slide down my cheek. “I just don’t want one with a girl.” I wiped my face and looked up at him. I couldn’t read his face, but it looked like shock. “You can go if you want, I get it, okay.” I heard my voice crack and I swallowed thickly.
He stood up, and dread immediately washed over my entire body, and I felt myself sink into the chair, as I tried not to let this god awful noise leave my throat.
But he walked over to my seat grabbing my shoulders and pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. I balled my fists into the back of his shirt, burying my face in his neck. I was shaking from head to toe, my knees about gave out on me. But he squeezed me tighter.
“It’s okay, Chris. You’re okay.” He soothed, and I just let the hot tears fall from my eyes. “I’m glad you told me. Chris, I could never hate you for who you choose to love… never.” I nodded my head, a smile he couldn’t see across my face. I couldn’t believe it, it took me so long for me to be okay knowing that I was gay, but he… he accepted it just like that. I dropped my arms and lifted my head, the grin still on my face. He smiled back.
I think it’s going to be okay, I think we’re gonna be okay. I don’t have to hide behind this mask anymore. I don’t need to be as afraid. I can be okay with me again, and I can be happy with that, just as I should be.
2014: Wow I love Supernatural and Destiel so much! Sure they never TALK about Destiel but if you look at the colors in this scene and the way Dean looks at Cas here, maybe someday they will be cannon. I know it’s a long shot though.
2024: “If the CW hadn’t been so homophobic, Dean and Cas would’ve been balls deep.”
will i always be this angry?
like this post if i can shoot u a dm and offer u my undying friendship (also wanna scream about wolfstar and jegulus) <3
HE IS MY CHILD AND I LOVE HIM
Artemis (/ˈɑːrtɪmɪs/; Greek: Ἄρτεμις) is the goddess of the hunt, the wilderness, wild animals, nature, vegetation, childbirth, care of children, and chastity.
Please don’t look at me like that you two
They are the epitome of gender envy... I wanna be them
reblog if you’re gay, shy or a fucking idiot
Chloie she/her I love Supernatural, Harry Potter, Good Omens and Stranger Things I'm a weirdo trying to run through life, while looking in all directions. Green witch and worshiper of Apollo and Aphrodite
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