Repost

The worst thing I ever did at a D&D table was when our DM ran out of place name ideas and told us the name of the port town we needed to go to was "Bar Harbor".

So I tricked him into roleplaying the slightly-too-helpful town guard into giving us directions to- Well you see, the party has been out in the wilderness for like a MONTH, we're all a mess, the dwarf's beard is out of control, so can you tell us- Where can we find the Bar Harbor Barber?

But we were not done. We each took turns, like a pack of velociraptors.

We also had Dryad in the party and a few of her branches got broken in a fight and now her whole canopy is unbalanced and it looks awful, but she really needs to see a specialist, is there a Bar Harbor Arbor Barber?

The Paladin also wanted to look in on a small church he'd heard of, that the city had a patron saint, who was boiled alive in a cauldron of ale, so where is the temple of the Bar Harbor Larger Martyr?

It was around this point that Chris started to tire of this nonsense.

The bard, naturally, wanted to go carousing, and he'd heard this town had some of the most attentive and welcoming Ladies of the Night on the continent, known by thier brightly colored stocking bands, so had he seen any of the Bar harbor Ardor Parlor Farber Garters?

Chris immediately escalated to threats of a Total Party Kill.

Unfortunately, I'd had time to prepare and-

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to know if you'd seen my cousin."

"...Your cousin?"

"Yeah, I know it's a long shot, but he's got a pretty distinctive appearence and you might have seen him around town."

"Oh No-"

"Okay so he's Welsh and the whole family used to be in the wagon-making business but he got into clothes manufacture until there was an accident with a lamp black dye and now he's permanently stained a sooty color and that really turns heads, so now he's got a job drawing in crowds for the city funded swap meet- no, not the Drow that also works there, I mean like the inside of a fireplace- anyway, he got tired of people mixing the two of them up so he started wearing this fancy armor with a magical +1 charisma bonus-"

"Gallus I swear to God I *WILL* Summon the Tarraqsue-"

"-So have you seen my cousin, Arthur Carter, former Sartor but now he's the Darker Harker for the Charter Barter of Bar Harbor, the one with the Charmer Armor?"

Amazingly, we survived the Tarrasque.

Free Palestine

melissa barrera (the actress who got fired from the scream franchise for being pro palestine) has started a fundraiser with unrwa!

Abyss pt. 1

Heyo

This is my 1st prose poem in awhile, so hope y’all enjoy

Life happens

Worlds are born in fire and light

Forests sprout up from the fertile soil

Fires tearing apart the very molecules that bind

But despite it all

People laugh, love, cry

Die

Their emotions, their movements

shake the universe to its core

How I wish I could be a part of that

[image description:

image 1: Text says: commissions for Palestine. there is an image of the artist on their drawing tablet.

image 2: Text says: $1-$5 Lined Chibi. $7 for flat monochrome. $9 flats and rendering. Drawings of Kim Dokja from omniscient reader and the pokemon Deino are used as examples.

image 3: Text says: $15 lined fullbody. +$7 per extra character (up to 3 characters total). The example is a drawing of Lee Jihye from omniscient reader.

image 4: Text says: Comics. $50 for full page or $25 for half. Up to 3 pages. Must provide script. a page of comic titled solitude, starring Kim Dokja and Lee Seolhwa, and a half page of a comic starring Han Sooyoung and Dokja are used as examples.

End ID]

I'm reopening commissions for Palestine. I will draw you something if you donate to any of these (note that gofundmes require you to donate at least 5 of whichever currency the fund is using):

The Gofundme's and other fundraisers on this masterlist

Helpgazachildren's Gofundme

Esims for Gaza (or this crowdfund to donate esims)

The Municipality of Gaza's life for Gaza campaign

Though I'm focusing on these 4 for these commissions, if you donate to other verified fundraisers for Palestine/funds for people on the ground, or to verified fundraisers for Sudan or Congo, I'll also draw you something.

guidelines/other info:

Turnaround of around 1 month for lined chibis, 2 months for fullbodies, and 4-6 months for comics. I will update you as soon as I have a sketch (approx 2 weeks for chibis, 1 month for fullbodies and comic thumbnails), or if there are any delays.

Please include a visual reference or detailed text description of the character(s) you want drawn, unless I've drawn them before and you're okay with me going with my design.

For comics please provide a script. I can work with prose, or with a description of the page. It doesn't need to be a formal script, but please don't just tell me the characters you want in it and expect me to go from there.

I can draw OCs, mechas, and furries.

I won't draw anything nsfw, or real people without their permission.

personal use only

I reserve the right to refuse a commission and may ask you to choose something else. If you want to know in advance if I'll take it, feel free to DM or send an ask.

To get a commission, DM me on this account or email me at desklamprey @ gmail.com with a link to where you donated (if it is from a masterlist, let me know which one also), a screenshot of the receipt of your donation made after this post was made (6/18/24 at around 1 am PST), and the details about your request. please censor any personal information in the receipt.

if you want to commission me for a medium not listed on this post (ex: acrylic paintings, traditionally inked art) contact me with the medium and your request and I'll let you know if I can do it and for how much.

no set amount of slots, but i'll turn off reblogs when commissions are closed

Dead Boy Character Study - Crystal and Edwin

I know that Charles' remark to Edwin about how similar he and Crystal are is a sweet way of saying he loves them and food for thought. Crystal and Edwin are similar in plenty of ways: their snark, their drive to help people, and most importantly their coping mechanisms. From Crystal's flashbacks, we see that she coped with her parents neglect by turning her hurt into anger via toxic behavior like petty misdemeanors and hurting people around her. Edwin deals with his own fears of hell and jealousy over Charles bonding with Crystal into anger too. He snipes at Crystal and Charles, the whole montage of him trying to smash off the Cat King's bracelet, and gets especially angry when Crystal tells him that she willingly let David posses her. Even their disappearances (and Edwin's death) were handled similarly, Crystal's parents didn't even bother looking into her radio silence and assumedly Edwin's parents and his boarding school did the same. In short, I think that their similarities are too slept on. They're angry, neglected, and hurt kids who got screwed over by boys who claimed to love them. And that's even not going into how they serve as foils in how Hell hurt them. I really hope that in season 2 they get to bond more. They have the perfect set up for friends who insult each other as a love language but are really ride or die.

Like promised the addition to a discussed mafia AU.

Dinluke version of Pacho's dance in narcos it's just so good. 👌

Repost

A No Idea Day

Ok, so this is probably won't be continued and will be small fic that I wrote on a whim. Hope y'all enjoy and if you want me to do more, tell me in the comments

It was late afternoon and the world seemed to be slipping past her. Every second was speeding by, while she sat in her chair in front of her small laptop, trying to write.

"If I leave my grin behind, remind me

we're mad here, and it's ok. . . ."

Cheshire Kitten (We're All Mad Here) had been continuously repeating through her headphones for the past 2 hours, mainly because she thought it would help her think. Her hunch had obviously been unsuccessful. She was supposed to be writing a story for a competition, but when she finally had the time to actually sit down and write, she lost all of her ideas. The ideas, she had been brimming with for weeks, all drained from her skull the minute she opened up a document. How pathetic was that.

She had finished all of her work for the week, all her chores were done, and she had some brain food in front of her in hopes that it would give her brain a much needed boost. She was playing a new Spotify playlist, finding the perfect song to get lost in and she momentarily had flash of an idea. And for 7 glorious minutes, she wrote something. It seemed to be greatest work as she feverishly typed, but she noticed she had lost her train of thought the minute she thought that. As she went over the document, she saw plot holes and inconsistencies throughout her storyline. Crap, she muttered to herself. In moment of pure anger, she hit control A and deleted everything.

She finally gave up around 7pm. She made herself dinner, scrolled through her social media and binged a few games on her phone, and watched a couple hours of Netflix. I have 2 more weeks till the deadline, she thought as she headed to bed after finishing the 2nd season of Hilda. Hey, it may have been a kid's show but it was entertaining and the graphics were awesome. She face planted into her soft mattress and started to drift off when inspiration struck her.

Happy Trans Day of Remembrance. I know it’s a hard to live as trans people, but I hope that this brings you some comfort. Because we deserve to live and be who we are.

Cleansing Tears

Today the sky weeps for those taken too soon

She weeps for children who claw at their skin

The youth that scream in fear and agony at world that wants them dead

The arrogant prophets claim their gods rule her

That their tyrannical, merciful, and judgmental gods scream curses at the children of Caeneus

Their propaganda laced sermons stain her like smog and ash

For that is all they bring: filth and destruction

Weep with our sky, Caeneus, for her tears will germinate our revolution

faeries are not real but i wish thwy were so i could spray one with raid