elssecondaccount - Actually The First Account
Actually The First Account

I named it this on a dare, my real second account hasn’t been used in years and has a completely normal name.

348 posts

Latest Posts by elssecondaccount - Page 6

2 months ago
Abolish Tesla.

Abolish Tesla.

2 months ago

most cathartic part of orpheus 2025 <3

2 months ago

ok but give me one good reason why you wouldn’t date Kermit the frog besides that he is a puppet and a frog

2 months ago
Shit’s Bad!!!!! Here Are Some Not Terrible Headlines To Take The Edge Off A Little Bit
Shit’s Bad!!!!! Here Are Some Not Terrible Headlines To Take The Edge Off A Little Bit
Shit’s Bad!!!!! Here Are Some Not Terrible Headlines To Take The Edge Off A Little Bit
Shit’s Bad!!!!! Here Are Some Not Terrible Headlines To Take The Edge Off A Little Bit
Shit’s Bad!!!!! Here Are Some Not Terrible Headlines To Take The Edge Off A Little Bit
Shit’s Bad!!!!! Here Are Some Not Terrible Headlines To Take The Edge Off A Little Bit
Shit’s Bad!!!!! Here Are Some Not Terrible Headlines To Take The Edge Off A Little Bit
Shit’s Bad!!!!! Here Are Some Not Terrible Headlines To Take The Edge Off A Little Bit

shit’s bad!!!!! here are some not terrible headlines to take the edge off a little bit

2 months ago

damn this legendary post was only from 2019?! i couldve sworn it was like 6 years ago when i saw it lol i didnt know it was that recent

2 months ago
It’s That Time Of The Year Again

It’s that time of the year again

2 months ago

i love when people are like “Oh my god, I couldn’t possibly imagine being asexual, how sad, you’re missing so much…” Bitch!!! You know what’s sad? Being gluten intolerant. If you placed two pills in front of me right now, one which would turn me allosexual and one which would enable me to tear into a freshly-baked oven-warm olive-and-rosemary ciabatta without utterly destroying my body, it would not even be a choice. “hyuhhh-duhhhh aren’t you worried you’ll die alone” aren’t you worried i’ll just launch myself over the bakery counter in our local grocery store one day and stuff croissants in my mouth like a starving racoon til i die and the whole place has to be closed down as a health risk while they peel my bloated body off the linoleum floor? You should be

2 months ago

Daily fucking reminder that Luigi Mangione is innocent, completely and fully. He has been convicted of no crime. He has had no fair trial. He is a SUSPECT. Luigi Mangione is entirely innocent and everyone needs to stop parroting this insidious propaganda that he “committed” the crime he is only SUSPECTED of. He is not a murderer. He is not a criminal. He is an innocent man.

2 months ago

Listen.

EVERYBODY knows (or should) that you DO. NOT. STOP. in Vidor, Texas. 

It’s best to just run out of gas elsewhere. Whatever you do, black folks, DO NOT STOP IN VIDOR, TEXAS. 

There’s a good chance you’ll get lynched or just come up missing - and I’m not joking.

Listen.

also do NOT stop in Harrison, Arkansas!!!! (relatively close to OK and MI) a nazi town with a BIG KKK organization.

Listen.
Listen.
Listen.
Listen.
Listen.

Reblog To Save Life

2 months ago

Everyone is fighting a tough battle so reblog to give previous a sword 🗡️

2 months ago

hey so it’s march now aka the beginning of endometriosis awareness month and i feel obligated to remind you that debilitatingly painful periods are not normal. if you or someone you know is ending up sick or bedridden every month, you are not crazy and deserve medical attention from someone who will take you seriously

2 months ago

Okay I’m currently furious that migraines are often so blindly easy to treat and I had to find this out myself at the age of 26 when I’ve been to a neurologist since I was 11 lol so I’m about to teach you two neat and fast little tricks to deal with pain!

The first is the sternocleidomastoid muscle, or the SCM muscle.

Okay I’m Currently Furious That Migraines Are Often So Blindly Easy To Treat And I Had To Find This

This big red section is responsible for pain around the eye, cheekbone, and jaw, as well as some temple pain. Literally all you have to do is angle your head down a little, angle it away from the side that hurts, and then you can gently pinch and rub that muscle. I find it best to start at the bottom and travel upwards. The relief is so immediate! You can increase pressure as you feel comfortable doing so.

Here is a short and easy video showing this in action

The second is a fast and easy stretch that soothes your vagus nerve, which is the nerve responsible for calming you down. The vagus nerve, for those unfamiliar, is stimulated by deep breathing such as yawning, sighing, singing, or taking a deep breath to calm your anger in a tense situation.

You can stretch this out by sitting up as straight as possible (this does not have to be perfect to work) and interlacing your fingers. Put your hands on the back of your head with your thumbs going down the sides of your neck and, while keeping your face forward, look all the way to one side with just your eyes. Hold that until you feel the urge to breathe deeply or yawn, or until you can tell there’s a change. Then do the same thing on the other side. When you put your arms down, you should clearly be able to turn your head farther in both directions. If the first session doesn’t get rid of your migraine, rest and repeat as many times as necessary. I even get a little fancy with it and roll my eyes up and down along the outer edge sometimes to stretch as much as I can.

If you need a visual here’s a good video on it. I know some of the language they use seems questionable but this is real and simple science and should not be discarded because it’s been adopted by the trendy wellness crowd!

I seriously cannot believe I didn’t hear a word of this from any doctor in my life. Additionally, if you get frequent recurring migraines, you may want to see a dietician. Migraines can be caused by foods containing histamines, lectin, etc. and can also be caused by high blood pressure in specific situations such as exercise, stress, and even sex.

If any of this information helps you I’d love to hear it btw! It’s so so fast and easy to do. Good luck!

2 months ago

on the validity of recognizing emotions

On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
On The Validity Of Recognizing Emotions
2 months ago

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

2 months ago

Progressives: "We should just give homes to homeless people."

Corporate Bootlickers: "You mean they get to OWN a HOUSE? That OTHER PEOPLE PAID FOR?"

Progressives: "If that makes you angry, wait until you hear about landlords."

2 months ago

Pamela Anderson choosing to wear no makeup (not “natural” makeup, not a “no-makeup makeup” look, but actually no makeup on her skin) to events and letting her wrinkles and age spots be clearly visible is actually groundbreaking and anyone who paints it as not a big deal, or worse, as somehow an attack on some other group, is a moron

2 months ago
The Fucking AUDACITY To Single Out Something As Vital To Human Life As THE POPULATIONS OF OUR NATIVE

The fucking AUDACITY to single out something as vital to human life as THE POPULATIONS OF OUR NATIVE FISH as an example of some kind of frivolous government waste is fucking sickening. If this was literally the one and only thing Elon and his employees did wrong I'd already be pissed off enough to want to smash and splatter their teeth out with a metal bat. I'd say they're idiot cavemen but I'm sure they know full well that fish sustain the lives of indigenous people in particular. Monitoring fish when they are sensitive larvae is how we know if their population is strong and how we know if a pollutant or a disease is starting to tear through one of the country's only free public food sources.

2 months ago

parents be like you can’t imagine how hard it is for us to deal with your mental illness

2 months ago

ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
2 months ago
The Shimp Got Too Much Attention And Now There Are Transphobes In My Notes, This Is A Transgender Blog

the shimp got too much attention and now there are transphobes in my notes, this is a transgender blog run by a transgender dyke. fuckers.


Tags
2 months ago

Literal definition of spyware:

Literal Definition Of Spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

Literal Definition Of Spyware:
2 months ago

Reblog to let prev know their presence is wanted

2 months ago

hey boy don't kill yourself. green's dictionary of slang is available online and allows you to explore 500 years of english vulgarity. you can search by part of speech, source, time period, etymology, and usage. there's a whole category for gay slang. they even have specific citations listed so you can see the exact context for yourself. boy did you know that in 1927 "to kneel at the altar" was slang for "to sodomize"

2 months ago
I Wish I Could See This Picture For The First Time Again

i wish i could see this picture for the first time again

2 months ago

Not where you grew up. Not where you’ll be living soon. Where you’re living right now.

2 months ago

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

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