fatorangepoo

Latest Posts by fatorangepoo

sappho

Bruh iwas wondering at 12am randomly why I keep getting lesbian allegations and BRO I FOUND OUT MY SAPPHO SIGN FOR FUN like i legit thought i was a pisces sappho or something and that it wasnt important in my chart THEN IT WAS ACTUALLY IN GEMINI CONJUNCT MY SUN AND VENUS AT 1 DEGREE WTFFF 😭😭😭😭 NO WONDER

sad

I actually don't have any of my close friend's twitter accounts 😭😭😭

Thank you my most reliable slave. THIS IS SO FUNNY THO (NOt posting on X cuz my crush's friends are on there 🙏)

weird thoughts while im late

Once I asked my mom why people don't just jog to work instead of walking，sweat isn't even that bad. It dries up afterwards. She said it's disgusting and I said ok. Now I'm here and sweating even when I'm only walking. So it either proves that sweating is unpleasant, or that we should just jog anyways since we're already going to sweat.

goigle drive can eat my shit

i miss the feeling of home

to be included and loved without limits

photo diary

photos for keepsake

emergency diary copy paste

6.11morning roti canai breakfast. rabbit hole of social media. chemistry notes. lunch longbeans spicy, ginger chicken yum, sour potato slices, naipak. banana. ttdi library hehe so cun cuz absolute focus, j rock n phonk. had a blast playing w my stickers. so cold. went to 1u mr diy so happy hehee felt like myself again. bata shoe kinda meh. burger king stalk st nicholas school acc see what shoe they wear haha. so fun went to inside scoop the cashier so friendly. blueberry yogurt, coffee almond fudge & raspberry sorbet. yum. went to hobility n stayed there for so fucking long Helpppp it was at least 20 mins there i was investigating evey fucking product HAHAHA. it was the first time i did sth like this cuz there were no salesmen n i enjoyed it so much. esp talking abt ultraman n jia tong to dad. "yo wtf ultraman is my generation one lol". hehe so many cute figures. and wafers, gachapon, pre order shit. lolol so ecstatic exploring the damn shop until dad realised xiao gu was here as well. we walked to pjpac and next gen theme park. lolol talked to her there it was so comforting and reality sank in - goingyo sg tmr. not that scared and sad anymore. dinner waisekai so happy hehe. took pics. lou shu fun soup fishball. sugarcane water. talking to liyeen so fun. went 1u again refund brush hehe.

Cuddles and Games

Spreading your extremities out on the bed like a starfish, you relax against the delicate and rough surface of the freshly washed bedsheets. While on the verge of dreaming, you curse as your imaginary meal in a fancy restaurant disintegrated into ashes as Bachira jumped on the bed enthusiastically, your eyes popping open in a flash.

"Yayyy! Let's play," he said while turning his head away from the Nintendo Switch in his hands to smile cutely at you, his fingers magically still pressing the buttons on the console. Because his neck was resting on your left forearm, you turned to your left and wrapped your other hand on his chest, head positioned on the bone of his shoulder so you were wrapping him up with your body like a blanket. He smells so good, like honey and rain.

"Hey you, wanna play? I'm playing FIFA!!" he pat your head with one hand. Burrowing your head into the space between his neck and shoulder to find the comfiest position like a mole digging through dirt, you shake your head super fast! "Awww, I knew it! When you're awake, we'll play Wii Volleyball, okay? I know you love it."

You fell into slumberland with his leg hooked around yours, and you didn't even notice he stopped playing to clasp his arms on your back and fell asleep himself too. Knowing you would wake up to immense fun with your favourite game and favourite person making fire commentary on the gameplay, the nap was good.

Wriothesley Teaches You How to Fight Like A Pro

"First things first... fix that attitude of yours," Wriothesley grumbled, clad in his long-sleeved dress shirt, fitted pants and mechanical gauntlets. Slicking his hair back with both hands over his head, he groaned, "You don't even want to do this properly. Are you just here for me or what?"

Upon hearing that, your jokester ass laughed out loud and you clutched your clenched stomach bending over in joy. Wiping a tear from your eye, you muse, "Well what if I was?" and continued giggling with your feet circling in arcs like a dying roach.

Let's just say some people have a different sense of humour. You weren't even surprised when you lightly peeked with one eye at Wriothesley to find him glaring daggers at you with those striking eyes of his, because he has never appreciated your skibidi toilet jokes.

Even you knew his limits, and you didn't know him well. Just well enough to share drinks and inside jokes. For you, well was quality time and bouts of intimate touches. So no, you didn't know him well. You got up and sprung back into action, picking up some Gintama move you saw Chinese grandmothers do in Tai Chi. Hands in karate chop motion, you tornadoed to his direction and landed a foot directly in front of him, hand positioned directly before his nose.

Wriothesley scrunched up his nose and forced out a reluctant "Better, I guess," and lowered his head. Addled and confused, you tilted your neck to your side in a classic WHAT?! pose, then you heard a chuckle from somewhere around the room. Looking around, you said, "Well, I never knew you invited some others to our practises."

When he didn't respond, you turned back to him kneeling on the floor, gorgeous di-coloured hair sprawling out from his scalp. You squat with your legs open like a frog or sneaky spider in front of him, leggings stretching against your calf. Looking down at him, you saw a glimpse of his canine tooth revealed by a devilish grin. He looked up at you and laughed at your face, eyes closed all the way through in a joyful daze.

Sobering up, he projected with a husky voice, "So funny, are we?" and you could swear his Arctic glacier eyes thundered periodically, letting you in a world of dark, deep sea typhoons. "Let's see what happens when you face real danger. You think they would loosen their grip because you said something that started with ski, ended with di and rhymed with clinically? I'd like you see you £#¢¥ing try," he threatened gloomily, advancing onto you with a fat forearm.

You hastily avoided his arm by holding it back with both hands, but you never really won over the gymbros in arm wrestling, so you got overpowered instead. He locked his arm under your neck, lifting you up so your toes were dreaming of touching land, which never happened considering you were taller than the average population. His shirt sleeve was so distracting because it smelled like your cousin's detergent and made you wish you had money to afford laundry that was more than just rinsing fabric with water.

You felt like Loki being held by his neck by Thor, albeit being the superior brother in the situation. In every situation, actually. Loki just suited you better. Pranksters have your whole heart.

You snuck your hands under his arm and pushed outward with all your might, and he was still unyielding. Bruh, at this point you just gotta turn around and start pushing his chest away from you. That'd be more effective, right? Whose chest can withstand brute force? Well, not yours, to be frank. You can't even wrestle your cousin.

"LET ME... THE £@#& GO!" you yelled with your back against his locked hands in a smooth manoeuvre, and tried to push at his chest. Ew, this feels like molestation. Who cared about molestation when your life was being threatened by a raider!!! You don't care anymore, you went from poking his chest playfully to shoving the hell out of his dress shirt, and he stumbled, hands losing their grip.

Like a proud hen, you stood arms akimbo, head inclined as you stared Wrio down. Oh my effing god. He surged and started CHARGING at you!!! He threw himself on you like on those WWE Superslams and you flew with your back sliding on the floor. His arms were around you, then you realised they weren't around you as much as they were wrapped around an actual dagger. Oh archons!

If you were wrong in the head, you would think this was fun and mentally stimulating. It was a bit exhilarating, but you were fearing for your life here. Mr Puppy here looks like he would actually kill you here and now for saying skibidi toilet during a company dinner 3 weeks ago. Deeply stashed anger, am I right? Poor pup doesn't have an outlet to release stress, so he keeps it all pent up and explodes on you for a tiny joke consisting of toilet...

His knee kneeling in the space between your thighs, he seemed chivalrous and angelic and deadly. The light shining on him from his table lamp just further intensified the dark side of his face, unilluminated by anything. That pretty much sums up your first impression of him. Dark, sepulchral and a pain to be with. Now, you're wrong. This is fun.

"Alright, yes yes, I'm afraid I'm deeply invested now, Your Grace. Continue," you chirped happily from your position under the Duke's glinting knife. If you stole a jewel from the hilt now, would he realise? You were quite good at this gemstone side hustle of yours.

"Second of all, do not let yourself be vulnerable," he gritted his teeth and you wanted to caress his neck just right above your collarbone. "Well, I don't. I never open up to people! I consider it one of my great strengths-" you got cut off by his bejeweled dagger pinning itself on the fabric of your tank top like a dart pinned to a dartboard.

"Not what I meant," he offered, "but thanks for the invitation." Then he lifted a hand and punched you on your good side. Alas, no more side profile selfies!

You grabbed the gloved hand that was about to go for a second round of punching you with one determined fist of yours, unyielding in your grip. You observe Wriothesley's amusement, his face on top of you taunting. God, his lifted lips are so distracting in their angles, sharp at all the right places. Dangerous men should not have smiles more perilous than their charm.

Despite that, you shook him with your hand guiding him in the direction you wanted to go - in this situation you wanted him the floor where you previously were. Locking your elbow around his dangerous arm, you channeled enough strength to pull him down on the floor beside you. After the satisfying thud of your bully/mentor's back hitting the floor (his tough back muscles are probably fine), you swiftly roll yourself on top of him, legs clamped around both of his. Tank top strap slowly sliding down your shoulder, you dislodge the dagger on the floor and rest your elbows on the sides of his face. Curling his hair on the dagger's pointy edge, you look down, half-lidded, on his tired blue eyes and sadistically remarked, "Any tips for ending someone with a dagger?"

ANNUAL FEAST

let's start with a speech highlighting our achievements of the year, naming the teachers who guided us and the team that organised the event.

DOOR GIFT: something meaningful to remember us by. PSS socks embroidered with something that symbolises us? Wireless earphones customised with our emblem?

elegant classical music flowing all over, premiumly selected by Ai Jia with superior pianist music taste. some guitar solos by Renee?

let us play some games on anticipating stomachs, for togetherness will bring us through tough times and hungry stomachs. DARTS? BALLOON VOLLEYBALL? GUESS THE COUNTRY BY LANDMARKS? SPIN THE WHEEL WITH NAMES AND A TOPIC TO DEBATE? perhaps we shall also bring in a ps4 for us to do a battle royale 1v1.

finally, all that we have been waiting patiently for will feel like a huge reward! we can finally FEAST!!! if we let them feast immediately, it would feel lackluster. Where's the networking? Where's the fun?

during the eating, one shall be in charge of playing a video recording of all the goofy things us librarians did throughout the year, us hard at work and us filming niche video skits of expectations vs reality etc.

before the event, we shall host a best writer award where we receive submissions from librarians where they write about their weirdest thoughts and channel them into meaningful writing that entertains the mind. the participants shall read it aloud and entertain the crowd!

after everyone has eaten their fill, we shan't make the food off limits while we engage them in networking activities. they can still eat, while the people who are bored can participate. let's welcome... the PSS DEBATE TEAM!!! (make them verbally FIGHT!!!)

let's end with a toast to the ongoing success of the PSS! let's voice out our hopes, joys and opinions to form a lively, verbal environment!

FOOD - I don't think we have a say in this (we r probably just selecting from courses offered by the location), but if we did this would be my suggestion:

BALANCED MEAL: light appetizer. cheese pasta / citrus seaweed roll (v) with mushroom soup and focaccia. refreshing entrée: kiwi pudding with mint leaves. main course: sweet & sour seafood soup laden with rich tomatoes, long beans & corn / sweet & sour tofu with asparagus and cilantro rice. dessert: gingerbread brownies / fruit sorbet.

⛷️🐝d Toilet fun!

(random scenarios i have in my head as someone with a bad imagination)

"Shall we ditch this juicy block of steak to head over to the urinals for some due fun?" he indicated to the signboard in front of your table indicating two genders separated by a line, shimmering pale grey eyes blinking in mischief.

Relax, he meant to make you follow him as company for his trip to the loo, nothing more. How could anyone mistake his boyish maroon curls for a dirty scheming jerk? The ruffled tangles he own probably came from innocent ruffles from his aunt in their frustratingly functional, happy household.

"No," you tease, then breaking into a hysterical laugh as if you just cracked the most hilarious joke known to man. Toothy grin in place, you swished your wine red gown to trail behind you as you rose from your puffy seat.

As he walked away from the table, he walked with one calloused hand outstretched behind him, welcoming aura made obvious. He didn't even have to look back to make sure your mountain-scaling-hard hands were placed in his. You observed the way his midnight blue suit sleeve stretched richly over his lean forearm and took his hand in glee.

Upon reaching the entrance, he spun you to a stop, your braided chignon unfurling into dark, untamed waves upon your bare neck before he took a ravenous glance at your pouting lips and you admired his perfectly inclined foxy eyes obviously oblivious to your admiration. Your lip quivered at his perusal, as if every thought of his was your command.

Looking at the checkered toilet floor, you broke the electrifying eye-makeout that left you stumbling mentally and dragged the top piece of your dress with both hands down to disguise your discomfort. In letting go of the satin piece that stuck to your flesh like a desperate crush, you cursed at it for making you feel itchy and hot.

He flashed you a tooth in his large smile and leaned his head toward the stall to indicate his departure. You relaxed and drooped to rest your back on the smooth pink-painted wall adorned with abstract paintings you find meaningless. Who would put in effort to decipher this heap of strokes drawn in succession with no thought put into it, if they already had a life full of meaning and hope?

Musing in your sneaker clad feet sure makes time pass fast... or maybe Nic was just the fortunate owner of an efficient sphincter muscle. Striding out of the half open wooden door without a sound, he splashed water onto your countenance from a water reserve in his palms and screaming, "BOO!" while horror dawns on your unsuspecting wide black eyes.

After getting you in the state of shock, his impossibly light eyes arched entertainingly upwards and eyed you mischievously as he quickly stretched his arms forward to pull you down with him as he fell backwards.

Everything happened in slow-motion, as all highly anticipated moments in your life do –

Expecting a fall from your unexpectedly less than restricting retro dress, your normally unreactive brows furrowed in anticipation, narrowing your long-lashed eyes in response. The whole world turned quickly like a rogue panorama with romantic chandeliers all over - until your vision was filled with him and only him.

You've always noticed his eyes were an electrifyingly rare shad of grey almost close to raw egg white, but also so baby blue they were angelically pure. Once the two of you were bouldering a really steep course, and Nic was about to fall, his fingers loosening its grip on the handhold. When you saw his helpless puppy dog eyes definitely not suiting his foxy demeanor drooping in a watery pool, you couldn't help but felt forced to reach out a hand to pull him by the neck like a baby pup.

You weren't exceptionally strong to begin with, definitely not strong enough for men bigger than you, and never strong enough for Nic, who was larger than life. If he drifted away, you wouldn't even have the strength to pull him back into your life. Holding Nic by his sweaty neck plagued by wild maroon curls extending downwards, you lasted for 3 seconds before you slipped down the course onto a soft gymnastics mat next to an out-of-breath Nic.

Hair luminescent like light shining on fresh blood, you held eye contact with him and found that he smiled back, head tilted to his left and cheeks extended enough to show you his light dimple. You never held eye contact with people other than your family for long, and you never knew people appreciated it. What on earth were you missing out on?

Pondering the long history of viewing into his eyes did you no good as he spun you 180° over like a ballroom dancer and you were on top of him as he stayed cornered into the wall, head tipped back in defiance, daring you to exceed his expectations. He definitely wouldn't have thought you'd be admiring his kissably visible jawline. At this point you were still standing straight, until you weren't. As if every moment was escalating into your wildest fantasies, he closed the distance between your bodies by reining in your waist, generating a thundering, warm shiver in you. Nevertheless, you arched your neck back so you wouldn't have to kiss him. He was made for admiring, not indulgence.

"It's okay, you know me," he purred softly, sounding like a dangerous whisper in your ear despite the distance between your faces. "Not like this," you murmured and looked down to his messed up collar, his priceless necklace creating depth in the endlessly contoured desert that is his collarbone. "Look at me," he chided, sharp eyes knifing into your betrayingly flattered skin. Out of all people, he has eyes on me. Isn't that so... exclusive? "Remember when you held me by the neck before we fell together?" his eyes explored your relenting nose tipped high upon your face, and you could feel his eyes pecking secret kisses onto the bridge of your nose.

Your lips widened in protest, and he held your nape gently as you pulled his collar close to your body. Smiling your endless black hole eyes at his candy reddened lips, you indulge in the feeling of his fingers caressing the curve of your head in a secure clutch, your chest pressed against a new, foreign surface.

That day, you almost relented and put your head in his shoulder. You could feel his curls welcoming you if you rolled to his side. The thing is, you've never been brave when it came to love.

Now, you could explore all you wanted. Because this was real. His head dipping down to infuse your lips with his cinnamon flavour was real, and he tasted better than your bad imagination. The way his sharp nose was crashing into yours was real, and you've never wanted to feel better. You are living in the better. "I wanted this," you spoke your illegal thoughts through your busy mouth, and he drew his head back to look at your characteristically shadowed face. The shadows suited you well. You could tell from his hungry gaze.

Putting his comforting palm on your cheek, you felt the cold of his ruby ring and it led you to seek warmth in exploring the shadowed lines of his jaw. A mystery. "I've wanted this since the day I laid my eyes on you," he declared discreetly, voice ravenous and eyes wild.

essays

sometimes i feel like essays are meant to waste people's time for formalities'' sake, because they state and emphasize something that can be said in a single paragraph alone to the point of memorization.

imagine writing a thesis when you only have one point to make. of course, to fulfill the 30 pages criteria, you will keep starting new paragraphs with different examples in which the reader is already aware of.

i can't fault you for being able to drill your point in our heads, but that's only because i read your article 20 times over under the guise of 30 pages with adequate points.

You shouldn't keep reminding yourself how old you are.

Sure, you can always reminisce about when you were a kid, how weird it was that you were pre-pubescent. But being stuck in the past and awe-stricken by how young you were doesn't help, because you're getting older as you think about that. You don't have time to daydream about your childhood, unless it's for self reflection and improvement, because you have to keep moving. You're not even that old now, you just think you are because you're jealous of all the time the kids have left compared to you while in actuality you have just as much time as they do to chase your dreams, because you're not an arthritis-struck old lady yet.

thank you.

12/8

for breakfast i made pitas. baked them, cut tomatoes, shaved cucumbers and cut bananas (sprinkled with expired cinnamon!). after they were done i scrambled a plain egg with only ground cinnamon on it. it was tasty but i only ate half cuz my mom wanted to go dimsum shop. (tuition at 11am)

at 9 something we arrived at jiaxuan dimsum or something similar sounding. when waiting, went to 99 speedmart. loved scrutinising the processsed bread section. the mighty white bun variety is actually mesmerizing. the packaging is very attention grabbing. strawberry lychee, butter sugar, milo, chicken floss, black pepper chicken, blueberry flavours etc!!! like wtf so many flalvors!! some other brand was mas producing multiflavoured muffins. 8 for rm5.30 dude what a deal! except i guess eating it may cause serious cardiovascular diseases teehee.

ordered 2 salted egg yolk custard buns (SUPER GOOD DUDE), 2 char siew pau (EH OK BUT GOOD), 6 siew mai (TASTED LIKE MINCED MEAT), fried turnip cake (rlly GOOD!!), fried prawn, scallop and salted egg yolk beancurd thing (love the blandness of it FOR REAL!! cuz i only ate the egg yolk part. it wasnt distributed EVENLY LOL). siew mai fell into my warm water and drenched it in oil. cuz i was grabbing it with chopsticks then my dad asked where a siew mai go and i raised it to show him that i took one.. lol. total bill: RM78 ☠️. at least it was a pleasant experience.

went home and ate oreo cadbury chocolate bar and the other half of my breakfast pita. tuition. shower. went to tapao lunch. mayang oasis food court - malay mixed rice. omg!!! pickled veggies (carrot, cucumber, onion) SO TASTYYYYYY OMGGG IM GONNA CUM, steamed broccoli (SO TENDER!! LOVE LOVE LOVE) and rendang chicken drumstick (fragrANTTT!! not implying that there were many ants at that stall, just felt like making ANT capitalised). dad bought additionally 2 angku kuih and 2 fried glutinous sesame balls. delicious. for lunch also ate chili lala clams and orange. then snacked on angku kuih, pocky, cadbury chocolate and kuih bahulu. i need to control my eating habits!!!

wrote poems, drew posters, revamped dress rental poster, wrote a story…. good night. so full. ugh!

And the most important thing to remember is that you have time. Time to discover new people and new projects and new places; time to heal from your past and your wounds. You might feel like you’re getting nothing done and nothing is happening, but you have time to discover your soul. It will happen for you <3

And there will come a day when you suddenly go, oh. That’s why. That’s why it was worth living and sticking around. I understand.

And then the moment passes, and you might forget again. But that’s okay, because life is an abundance of such moments. They will come back <3

3 signs you have self worth 🫵💆

(IN MY OPINION & WHAT WORKS FOR ME). WHY DO YOU NEED SELF WORTH? to develop CONFIDENCE, prevent yourself from being manipulated & to CONTROL YOUR MIND.

you can also share your own experiences! i would love to read about other people’s point of view :)) don’t be scared, we are all connected as beings inhabiting earth~; i love everyone !! 👯‍♀️💓

1. YOU DO NOT CARE 💅💁‍♀️

i do not care if i’m being too loud, cringe or hyperactive. as long as it causes no harm (mentally!), you do not need to care about other people’s opinions. though your actions need to be REASONABLE. DO NOT neglect your duties as a human!! i love being silly in class, it’s nice to vibe around while spreading love~!

2. YOU TREAT YOURSELF WELL 💆‍♀️💝

you do not do things that make you feel like shit. do not validate habits that drain your energy & bring you discomfort. addiction is bad, kids. so, treat yourself nicely & do things that benefit you! 🌟🪴 you are a plant, and you WILL water yourself with CLEAN water.

for me, i find comfort in eating, doom scrolling & fortune telling, but it makes me feel DRAINED. nevertheless, i still do it because i have yet to identify the CAUSE of my addiction: my NEED TO SELF SABOTAGE & NEED FOR VALIDATION. to treat yourself well, provide YOURSELF with the VALIDATION you need. nothing will be found outside yourself, what you need can always and will only be found within.

3. YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU EAT 🍽️

i dont know why, but eating healthily (veggies) give me such confidence and comfort! it is so therapeutic for me to eat veggies. you also have to identify what food makes you feel like shit. for me, it's cookies and snacks. AVOID WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT!! unless you do not mind feeling like shit. as they say, you ARE WHAT YOU EAT! reward yourself for having an awesome day with eating Healthy~ Show ya body that u Love em!!!

lessons learnt at educastle's seminar!

25/6 last sunday, i attended educastle's seminar on how to be motivated to learn!

through this talk, i learnt that LEARNING is a choice. it will NOT end after writing that PhD thesis📃. what matters is your curiosity🔍. noone is content with knowing only surface level textbook knowledge, they must also want to know the depths of the iceberg! 🤔

you are a student🧑🏼‍🎓not because you are binded to high school🏫, but because you are learning. an old man without a degree can also be a student. you choose to learn than stay idle, so congratulations, learner! 📚

a way to be constantly motivated to learn is to develop curiosity for the workings of life🤯. for me, i am extremely interested in the fields of mechanics and engineering🥼, so i will learn that as an interest.

a fact i learnt was that you will remember more of something when you question it🤔, more than if the speaker was directly spitting out facts you don't want to know about.🥱

to understand in depth about real-life problems🤨, you can use the 7 layer technique in which you question your answer 7 times💭. you can use this to develop higher order thinking skills🤔 and also know the contributing factors to your dilemmas.

why do i crave validation? because __. why __? because ___. why...... .... x7

It's my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳 yooo the helL?!? i created a tumblr at the ripe age of 11????! what for…..

16th July 2022

woke up at 7:05, brush teeth, change, eat. gather at padang,, they gave a bottle o water, gardenia bread, oat crunch and cream o...! They did the zoomba and liting was leading , we danced to wakawaka eh eh shamalamila eh eh, a maroon 5 song and did starjump. typical teacher made us do 3 times because we "werent coordinated"!

me valerie asli aishua gather at middle of starting line. valarie said we can be "runners" quote unquote then we wrre like sure!!! then when we joking about stuff i saw cikgu hisham hand was like 3.. 2.. then FART and we were like omg! omg! Then valerie run and ditch us and me asli run to find her and only found her at mrt there

after we reunited with mrs ferari I ditched asli and i run!!!!! I said hi to my form3 pss teammate in the camp, i jog again, slow walk sometimes also, said "Hiii!!! Shi ying~~!!!!" then we chatted for a while then i jog away. She was like "O ziqi ah, ziqi ziqi!" today. so funny but im kinda scared to make conversation with her.

when passing by the puay chai 2 nasi lemak guy he chinese and his wife malay ma then he was like "NI MEN BU HUI PAO DE LA, ONLY KNOW HOW TO WALK EYEROLL EMOJI" THEN WE ALL STARING AT HIM. Matthew run past me at nasi lemak stall 🤬🤬🤬🖕

At 1u traffic light there i was balancing on the sidelanes and i wa sjogging on it idk how i tripped bro i was perfectly balanced, it was like i was walking regularly and then my vision just tilted sideways then my palms were on the sidelane and my feet were on bicycle road, then i was like omg so sandy! then ran. near the school gate i speed walk and today we never enter school using normal gate we use the teacher car gats and we still have to run to the startng line only finish.

i was at transporter parjing there then my form 1 friend in front of me run already so i was like omg fine i speedwalk but cikgu fakruddin was holding camera and noone was posing everyone walking so i ran for him and he took a shot and i ran until the finish line (technically starting line)

when i reach i thought can rest already but the girls on the side of the school road were like NOO!! RUN!! UNTIL STARTING LINE!!! THEN I RUN IDK WHY BUT I WAS EUPHORIC IT WAS SO FUN RUNNING LIKE THIS WHY DIDNT I RUN THE WHOLE DAMN TIME 🤬🤬🤬

Liting and i grabbed orange juice in canteen, seniors were surrounding it. I still got a place near the orang ejuice cylinder with 200ml of juice left and they were fighting for it.. Litjng was like, "OMG THATS UR SENIOR!!!" then i was like whart???? "IN FRONT OF YOU LA" THEN SHE WAS ACTUALLY IN FRONT OF ME OUR FACES WERE LIKE 20CM APART 😍 Then liting brave she ask the other senior to "let her la!" then when he finish taking he gave me the ladle! i accidentally took a lot bc liting tilted the thing sideways so i could take more.. Then we queued for milo.

Liting bought me to BP room, tharun sister is actually a pengawas! then sofee and her were talking there and liting and i were looking at her (lt) spotify profile. Then a senior oengawas come, "she not pengawas?" then liting brought me out! then we Only take milo actually..

Zhen hin took some photos, just remembered right now, i forgot to ask him for it. I probably look bomb in it. 🥺

In award ceremony got one dude win second place and bought his phone up the stage. He held it diagonally to the audience and it was a huge text saying "EZ" while the principal gives him a medal. that was jerky but funny.

When we got home i showered and we left for hometown! Down the lift my mom said she'll take the next one since ours was packed. when we arrive at LG1 floor an uncle was standing facing the doors of the lift and my dad was mad bc he was in a rush then they almost bumped into each other, he didn't even say sorry, so i smiled and nodded slightly at the uncle and he smiled! good mooOooOod~~~

Bought filet o fish, fries and cheeseburger. 10/10. In ipoh ate chicken rice.. i ate mostly tauge and rice. 7/10

ah ma made boiled buns it was mediocre, don't wanna Hurt her feelings though.. >-<

4 June 2022

Today is Alia and Dafiy bday, Happy birthday!!

In the morning, I had 2 hours before my tuition, so i read a bit and watched a few tarot card videos. tuition was lovely, it was history and i learned a few things! tch praised my kbat question's answer.

Then for 10 hours i was stuck in traffic. I took rlly nice pictures. i did tarot readings intuitively to my parents in the car and we reached ipoh in 8 hours. the restaurant we wanted to go to was closed, so the restaurant next to it was packed bc the closed restaurant was like, famous! This is all for today bc there really got nothing happen

19TH APRIL 2022

a very great day~~!!! woke up, drank chocolate milk for breakfast (like 100ml...) and one slice of bleached bread, one slice of unbleached expired Massimo!

for lunch, i ate at a taiwanese restaurant in kota damansara, it's on the second floor!! very tasty sia! presentation also very good.

photo: [ blob:https://web.whatsapp.com/d025adf1-81d1-4977-8327-b427f49e8778 ]

dessert: [ blob:https://web.whatsapp.com/7f9a0a57-3a76-4a0f-b173-48750af5b4c1 ]

i realise how much i want to go to taiwan again. my mom jokes about going to tokyo disneyland because she wants to have fun, as a teacher everyday is stressful. started catching up on blue lock again.

unsaid parts of the day: me scrolling through instagram and texting my friends, learning about my shadow self and analyzing my parents and friends' birth chart.

for dinner we went to a place that had steamed soup as it's signature dish but ordered no soup. (we ordered sweet sour pork, lala, stir fried yao mak (BEST IN MY OPINION))

photo: [ blob:https://web.whatsapp.com/c43ed55a-3188-46a7-90e9-d389c4e40c77 ] WE DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO BE RM63 😭💔

after we headed home in low spirits we walked around our neighbourhood with cat treats after parking our car. after a while a kitten ran like 99km/hr to our direction and meowed so many times! she's like another version of our old cat..

it had: very light gray ears, grey tail, (the tail is very animated..)

it likes humans a lot whenevr it sees someone new it runs in their direction. it ran to our neighbour so we went home and stared at it in our car porch lolol! then we heard it come back and look around so desperately.. crying. like it actually cried!! "meow... meow..." WE COULDN'T STAND IT so we went back.

when it was almost finished eating it's supposed dad came... it's the cat that pees in our porch. it knows how to sniff!! the kitten just ignores the food if it can't see it clearly. it smells the road intently, like a metal detector!!! whenever it lowers its head to smell the cat treats the kitten scratches him!! like, where is the filial piety!??!!? the dad doesn't care, it just continues sniffing like nothing happened.

"ma, is it the kitten's dad? they have the same colours." "probably. if they weren't related the dad would've slapped him!" (it sounded funnier in chinese)

Diary o' 18th April 2022

Chicken floss bread with choc milk for breakfast.

When I was walking along the school hallways, I saw a student getting lectured by our discipline teacher for wearing sport shoes and i probably looked terrified or soemthing because he averted his gaze to me and stared at my shoes, then called me there too...

"Cannot wear these type of shoe ah." "Ok." "Blah blah blah..." "Ok." "Ok u can go now."

MY SECRET TECHNIQUE 😈😈😈😈

-

When walking to my class, I saw a morning session teacher probably. He was really fun to talk to.

"Heyy u know where is 2M class?" "Huh why is it your first day?" "No, just my class is currently being used by 4A." "Oh, then I don't know also." Then i see people on the fourth floor waving to who knows what and i point at them and say, "Oh, there?" because i thought it were my classmates lol... "Um no that's form 5 LOL." "Oh.." Then i see my responsible class monitor (U saved me!!) and i shouted her name and waved goodbye to the teacher.

we are using the science lab as a replacement for our class for the first period. i put my bags down and liting asks if i want to go buy the math workbook our teacher wanted us to purchase. while talking to her i looked in my (not so serious anymore) crush's direction and he was looking back at me. i looked away quickly and continued talking to my friend. when we were preparing to leave i looked again to confirm that he was staring and he was. hm. he always does that, looking at me for so long then doesn't look at me for the rest of the day like 🤬🤬🤬.

in recess liting asked me what i ate for breakfast and instead of chicken floss i said dog food... LIKE ON ACCIXENT 😨😨😨😨...

"你吃什么” “狗粮 面包”...

i like math class actually 😍😍💪💪

-

in pjpk me and liting sneaked to the toilet when teacher wasn't looking. we took turns in the same stall because the other toilets weren't working. we talked to each other while pissing if that isn't friendship idk what is!

then we also snuck to the equipment room after we finished our business. THERE WAS SO MUCH STUFF IN IT ❤️❤️❤️❤️

There were rugby balls, bow (with no arrows for some reason), BASEBALL MITTS, CATCHER'S HELMET, BASEBALL BAT AND SOFTBALLS, HOCKEY STICKS AND MORE!!!!! I wore the baseball mitt with a softball in my hand for a while and liting was holding the bat until teacher found us out lololol.. she said in PE we could only play with the mainstream sports... 😒😒😒😒☺️

we mostly chilled in pe.

-

- we first walked to the upper centre of the field and sat on the ground talking, then walked in a circle once and were motivated to longjump

- we ran and jumped, used a dry leaf as an indicator... she and i jump same length lolol

- then we ran 3 laps from the middle of the field to the slope...

- we are very exhausted, we take off our masks to breathe for a while.. it is certainly nicer without a mask! the breeze~~~

- we walked another lap around the big ass field, resting on a tree near the slope later

- it was time to go home, while walking back to take our bags i saw my (blah) crush mock kissing his best guy friend and i dont know if they really kissed or not they just snickered so loudly after.

DINNER

fried pork fatty sweet and sour flavour???, broccoli and cauliflower, fried chicken (i got the drumstick), po lei shang choi!!!

- i watched major again after dinner, it was so good!!! i like all the characters again!!

diary of 11 april 2022

today my dad got vegan sweet and sour pork and other things but i highlighted this because IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD!! sometimes its stale but today's was crunchy and tasty~~

i don't know why i have such an urge to appeal to the male gaze right now. its like im wishing someone would notice me, so i do things i wouldn't do if i was alone.

i really like my art right now (so good!) and i've noticed i draw a lot of baseball nowadays. (i haven't even held a softball). my best deskmate called me pretty hehehe. a few days ago i dropped my pen and my deskmate (stranger) help me pick it up and i forgot to thank her so now i'm feeling super guilty. in break i stared at her and smiled and she said "zmk!??!" with sussy expression it was so cute.

in math teacher asked us a question on expansion of linear equations and the dude she called first got it wrong (but only a bit, he got positive number when it was -7) and afterwards someone whispered the correct answer. teacher looked at the namelist again and called. . ME!!! i spoke the correct answer loud and crisp an clear but i don't think i impressed anybody to be honest it was a lvl2 question, just a level above the basics. and the answer was basically announced before i said it, but my voice made it seem like something new, i guess.

when pe started me and li ting planned to go to the loo together but teacher said only one of us could go at a time. i took the pass first (and a strip of toilet paper from her hahaha..) and walked to the toilet. i ran back after i was done. it was raining lightly but i felt greatly uncomfortable bc when she went to the toilet she gave me a basketball. the ball was wet like a cold orange.

we were moved to the foyer because of the rain. me and liyeen arm wrestled each other and after i won liting challenged me... she is so strpng!!!!! after that i did like 2 sit ups and li ting said i was cute. since the floor we arm wrestled on felt like bricks, my elbow felt really uncomfortable (i already had a blister beforehand). later liting and adrie received volleyballs for many rounds and me and liyeen just stared at them playing while gossiping.

the rest of an hour was boring. i was deciding between joining liting in receiving balls (😧) or continue talking to liyeen. i crave excitement and liyeen is serving but idk why at that time i wanted to join her so much. looking back, i think talking to her was best. "oi u staring at xxx ah" "heheh..." "ï thinking abt my pc1 crush" "actually xxx remind me of my std 6 crush" "wow,"

when the last bell rang we were forced to sit down in the foyer according to classroom and gender. i sat next to xxx... originally i was facing his side profile bc i was sitting sideways and it got awkward bc i was opening my legs so i turned the other way with the help of liting! she is so nice how is this possiblw!!!

i walked back home with my dad i don't know why i was so uncomfortable. i felt so worn out even though i didn't even exercise. for dinner my dad steamed brown rice and frozen siew mai.

diary 8/4/2022

thought my period was going to stop then it peaked in the afternoon what the hell was it because i had diarrhea 2 times this morning/!?

in school, i hated it. i dont know why but i get boring vibes from my best friend/deskmate. it's like we have nothing funny to talk about anymore and she has more friends other than me so sometimes i think "why should i entertain her? she already has so many friends."

i feel like i follow her wherever she goes, even if it doesn't benefit me. am i her mindless sidekick, or someone who knows how to defend herself? i really dont know. im trying to see this from a third person view but i would only view myself as boring, emo and sometimes cheerful person. which is everyone in this world. it's hard to accept that you're someone normal who won't get noticed in a group of kids in uniforms and face masks that look, well.. uniform.

i say i like intellectual people, but now i think it meant laidback smart people who know when to give up on pleasure and work/study. that won't complain over minor things. sometimes people too eager to be number 1 ignore you by reading a textbook. i shouldn't restrict her from reading her book just because i want to talk to her, i didn't in real life. but i wish she would talk to me more. when we talk about art, i have the time of my life and laugh so much. but that happens only once per 3 days. the other days i feel bored as if i am stuck in a box. even though i have people on my left and right, i can't bring myself to talk to them.

why? arent you the self proclaimed extrovert, lol. i really wish for a change of seats. if this goes on... whatever i'll be friends with them eventually, i hope. the girl on my right looks scary and like my aunt and the one on my left is chubby and cute but the guy in front of her talks to her almost every minute. this is a friendship i want, but i can't force my best friend to stop pursuing knowledge, because she can't. the dude who was originally behind me was nice, but he swapped with another dude and i don't even know this new dude's interests. i'm overwhelmed right now. this is like free therapy i didn't even know i felt this way. i really want to sit next to liyeen.

okay rant over time for what happened in school (that i recall)

i really like art class. we went to the classroom for art for the first time today, we didn't even go last year. this teacher likes to give simple summaries and quizzes us. in the last portion of that class he said we could only leave if we answer his questions and that we need to raise our hand (and dont need to wait for him to appoint us we can just say immediately) at first i heard what he said but i didnt know if he was being serious so i waited for him. "apakah dalam dekorasi perahu?" then got like 5, and 3 people answered before me.

MY THOUGHT PROCESS: come on man, choose me i so tall u def can see me and i waving my arm... pls!! wait my best friend said the answer without being called by the teacher, i should do that do. should i? FUCK YES i want to go back to class.

BACK TO REALITY. *raises hand for 5 seconds* *doubts herself, shakes head* "CAAAPINGG!!!!" teacher turns his head around, "siapa cakap caping? kamu? ok boleh balik." AND I LINED UP !!!! and everyone was staring at me kinda. YES! best moment ever.

in science me and alishya sat opposite each other so we had a staring session and it was so cute i didn't feel pressured to stop at all. normally when pointless things happen like chats im not interested in or unfunny actions she did for the 6th time this week, i feel like i have to ignore her. not today though! i taught liyeen the correct way to draw a dichotomous key today.

after school i made my dad drive around the park and he stopped in an alleyway and said i could go down and take pictures of a beautiful tree shedding purple flowers. i posted them in my family groupchat on my dad's phone. i took a flower off the ground and put it next to a pottery piggy bank.

Diary of 4th April 2022

today was very high spirited.

i ate wan ton mee in a hawker stall (it was ok idk if i didn't like it much because i felt irritated or what) and i saw a worker there that looked like the superidoldexiaorong guy. the buff type wearing a sporty white shirt and gel hair with the same face...

my dad drove us home after eating bc he wanted to drag the laundry under the roof in case it rains. i watched and played valorant for a while (im not good at it dont tell me to 1v1). i unlocked yoru today~~

at 1.30 we went to 1u mall for my outing with my beloved! my parents went to daiso bc we were searching for wet wipes (my dad used some today and they were dry and easily broken apart..) we checked coffee bean 3 times but my beloved not there! so we took the lift up a level and then she say she cannot find me so i go down and she greeted me under the elevator!

first we went to popular bookstore. we did nothing really there. we were contemplating so hard whether to buy llaollao and share but we didnt!!! we are cheapskate. we went to toysrus later to laugh at kids toys... then we went to a furniture store to walk around (it was boring). we also went to AEON food court hehe... the fried food and donburis looked so good... the onigiri were rm3.10. later we passed by a sushi store with vacant seats so i told her i'd buy one and the worker seemed so skeptical when i said "ya one only,"... the people in front of me buy like 6 sushi!!! when i finish paying and walked towards the seat two dudes walked in front of us and SAT ON THE CHAIR!! omg... we were 3 seconds late. we found a bench next to the store and i opened the onigiri improperly... it was so good though.

we were going to find this super popular roller-skating place many popular people go to but found nothing!!! then we accidentally encountered the shop once we descended from the escalator.. so many people were walking towards it. we peeped from outside and said "ewww" to appear special.

we also passed by a bakery.. it looked so good the croissants were all covered in flour, marshmallows, cream and strawberry.. rm8.50!! idk what's our problem, always looking at food and never buying anything. then, we walked inside a convenience store and found a table to sit. someone before us left their finished vitagen and pocky there so we sat on the table and pretended that it was our garbage so they wouldnt kick us out LOL!

then we went to aeon again to meet up with her mom and buy her a stick of bread to eat finally... and i went home!! not really. my parents brought me to tesco next.

TESCO IS SO GOOD I REPEATTT,T... THE FOOD SECTION IS SO MAGICAL! so many bread and donuts and suga.r... at a cheap price!! so i can always tell my parents i want something and they'll buy it!! i also bought a checkered sweatpant for rm22. by then im having a lot of period pain and swollen puthylips so i just wish they'd stop fussing over what panties are the best when they're the same design and size lol.... they ditched the panties and checked out thankfully.

while nearing our car we found an orange juice vending machine!! rm6, 3 oranges and fun process to watch it turn into juice. No preservatives, sugar or water!! pure juice! now that's a deal~~ the paper cup is a real bijin too. ITS SO GOOD I TELL U. TO ANYONE WHO LIVES NEAR LOTUS @ MUTIARA DAMANSARA U HAVE TO TRY THE VENDING MACHINE!!!!

after that my dad took us to kota damansara to another hawker stall. my chicken rice was rm6.50 and it was so good!! the rice was yellow and got a lot and the chicken was piled up over cucumber slices so it looked like there were a lot of chicken. the soup is nice as well it tastes homemade. when we walked to our car (very far away) it was raining and fun. we were running and laughing while admiring the scenery~

diary of 26 March 2022

i went to another hawker stall to eat breakfast. i ordered chicken rice and they came in a set: roasted chicken drumstick, rice, peanut soup and char siew sauce.

the rice was really delicious it was filled with 香茅 lemongrass thing... i thought the chicken was okay but my dad hated it.

in noon my mom broke the handle of the toilet so now we have to fill some buckets with water to flush the toilet 🤔

in noon i played a lot of genshin and msged my ctush about personal questions bc i wanted to knowhim berter i guess

i also drew a lot, we went to eat dinner early because the restaurant closed at 7.30pm.. it was a fish paste/head bihun restaurant with milky soup.

their portions are so big and have so many ingredients!! the average price is rm13 ($4). i ordered fish paste soup that includes fish paste (the texture is like fishbal), tomatoes, bihun and milk soup thing. i can't finish it. i never finish it. once in my life! the whole bowl is so big.

there was a park behind the restaurant so we went there for a walk. there was a cat perched on the back of a house and it ignored me. on the front porch, the same house had 2 more cats!! in the playground there were kids hanging out and attracting a cute black cat. after walking 200m, we saw TWO RABBITS UNDER A CAR!!! one was showing its face next to the wheels and the other rabbit was on the other side of the car, flexing its buttcheeks.

after the drive home, me and my mom went to a walk around the park (because my dad was tired he couldn't follow us)

CAT COUNT:

1. under a car but really visible, it was sticking out from under the carplate. ran to the other side of the road after we turned our backs against it.

2. orange cat i used to feed when i took a walk in the morning. it like humans. my mom said it was pregnant but its physique was of a teen's. (she didn't approve!!)

3. 花猫 multi colored brown cat on the parking spot of an empty house rolling around.

4. minor cats that i didn't interact with (fluffy grey cat with golden eyes, small orange kitten, another brown cat walking out of its owner's house and more)

my night wasn't interesting

DIARY

15th of March 2022

i ate 2 curry puffs for breakfast. tasty! i also ate some prawn biscuits in my dad's noodles.

after that i played genshin and did the average social media scrolling. my dad wants to take us out to buy lunch.

he went to AEON to buy burger king. the set came with burgers, fries, coke and a sundae. it was so tasty like no other. the cone was so crunchy!!!! ice cream was the PERFECT amount of sweetness, not like McDonalds where it gets disgusting after you eat too much...

while waiting for my dad to get subway from another mall nearby me and my mom devoured her burger in the car. i ate parts where cheese was dripping out of the meat. my dad returned with two subways and a salmon onigiri.

i ate the onigiri in the car. it's been 5 years and i still dont know how to properly open convenience store rice balls. I've only opened one correctly my whole life and i forgot how i did it.

some grains of rice keeps falling onto the cushions of the car its so annoying. i still ate the whole thing up though it was ok and decent for half frozen food.

the whole car trip I've eaten: fries, 1/4 of a burger, onigiri.

at home i ate 5 bites out of my subway. i keep shuffling from the back of the house go the dining room to watch cats behind the house. there are so many!!! a kitten and its mother and 4 more adult cats that are the same colour.

after i ate i mostly just checked on the cats again to take funny pictures of them and chatting with my friend. THEN THERES A POWER OUT AGAIN!!! they can't stop fixing the lights in the neighborhood.

it was evening. no lights, no wifi. i went outside in my pajamas from yesterday. the full moon in the blue sky was so magical. the clouds were from an oil painting, my mom said. even though oil paintings should be inspired by clouds.

i mostly just did weird stunts outside while waiting for electricity to come back again. eventually it became night and my grandparents cooked dinner in the darkness.

they cooked bihun in fishballs, meat chunks, ikan bilis and water!!! so tasty.

then i caught up with a dusty manga i havent read since last year. IT IS SO GOOD. i was reading it before i wrote this diary, so i am still reading it.

I've also bought some things in my shopee cart for my beloved!!! i used my free shipoing voucher and rm4 off voucher. i got rm13 off..🤤🤤❓❗