Pronouns: she/her Age: 19 Sexuality: Omni (with a prefrence for women and fictional idiots) Likes: drawing, simping. writing, chilling. Dislikes: spam, homophoes, hate.
142 posts
I dont know what their ship name is
dinners ready @fuckingdeadinsidetm !! hope you like it :3
Odysseus: Do you ever think before you speak?
Diomedes: I have never thought about anything, fuck you
Odysseus: *smol and buff*
Diomedes: *has a thing for Odysseus’s buffness*
Diomedes: mild mannered and friendly like 99% of the time
Odysseus: The only bastard that can get a rise out of them
Poseidon to Odysseus: You and your dreadful little polycule haven’t seen the last of me
Penelope: I need to go into town to get some things, can you two promise me not to kill each other while I'm gone?
Diomedes: Please, we're not children.
Penelope: *suspicious glare at them before leaving*
Odysseus*the moment the front door closes*: Eat shit and die.
Diomedes: Yes, fuck you too.
*comence gay laughter”
Diomedes: There will come a soldier, who carries a mighty sword, he will tear your city down, oh lei, oh lai, oh lord
Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh lord, he will tear your city down, oh lei, oh lai, oh lie, oh lord
Penelope: There will come a poet, who's weapon is her word, she slay you with her tongue, oh lei, oh lai, oh lord
Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh lord, she will slay you with her tongue, oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh lord
Odysseus:There will come a ruler, who's brow is laid in thorn, smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei, oh lai, oh lord
Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh lord, smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh lord
The three genders:
Penelope: Princess
Odysseus: Slut
Diomedes: Loser
*Odydiopen at the movies*: Three tickets to Barbie
Diomedes: The best way to gain someone’s undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation.
Penelope: So you’re going to wait until Ody is in danger and save him?
Diomedes: Of course not, I’m going to create a situation that puts him in danger then save him.
Penelope: …
Penelope, under her breath, snickering: oh yes, this is gonna be fun
(Normalize Diomedes being a little (huge) bastard)
Odysseus: What did you two do?
Penelope:
Diomedes:
Odysseus: you’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I need to lie to Athena again or not
more au doodles
New Ody quote guys😚!
You know how fanfic authors will over-describe their main?
Well we know Menelaus has reddish blond hair, Achilles is the most beautiful and has long, blond hair, Ajax the greater is huge and Diomedes has a foot.
Odysseus is shorter than Agamemnon, has curly blondish hair, a beard, wide shoulders, thick juicy thighs, a scar on his leg, and he seems a simpleton when he's not speaking.
I'm just saying, Homer was completely normal about Odysseus
AN: day 14, the day we’ve all been waiting for!!! I wanna give a huge thanks to 😈 anon for helping with the title, it couldn’t be more perfect! Poseidon really puts Odysseus through the wringer with this one! I let myself get mean with it, lol. Took a lot of inspiration from the manwhore au, so that explains the sexual tension. Slight warnings in the beginning for mild violence & descriptions of drowning. Other than that, there’s nothing you need to look out for. Hope y’all enjoy, this one was super fun & flustering! Sorry this was later than I planned, I’ve been super busy!
Odysseus was thrown into the water from the force of the lightning bolt, and he plunged deep below the surface with splinters and debris from his ship. He sank deeper and deeper until Odysseus regained consciousness. He opened his eyes and gasped for air, gulping in sea water. He desperately tried to preserve what air remained in his lungs. He frantically swam towards the surface, but felt himself sinking further. He was caught in a rip current, and he was yanked further below the waves.
His lungs ached, his vision was fading, he was starting to panic as he fought to get to the surface. His head was throbbing, ears popping, lungs about to burst, and finally, they filled with water.
The last thing he saw was dark shadow swimming towards him. It can't end like this...
~~~
Odysseus awoke with a splitting headache, but he had no time to take in his surroundings before he was coughing up sea water. He wretched and gasped for breath, only then realizing he could only lean forward so far. He felt stone pressed against his back, his arms chained to the wall.
"That's it, hack it up," a cold voice spoke from behind, slapping an even colder hand on his back. Odysseus went stiff, eyes shooting wide open.
"No..."
A deep, sly chuckle sounded too close to his ear for comfort.
"Hello again."
Poseidon grabbed a fistful of his hair, yanking his head back to look him in the eye. He smiled at the pained hiss that escaped his victim, relishing in the fear etched on his face.
"Poseidon! I-" he was cut off with a sharp slap across the face.
"I'm not interested in conversation. I'd much rather make you beg for mercy," he growled, grabbing Odysseus by the jaw.
"Really? I thought mercy wasn't exactly your thing," Odysseus tried to remain defiant and cocky, refusing to give the God what he wants. He should've known better.
"I never said I'd show you any," he sneered, allowing himself to get closer. He grazed his claws over his throat as he let go of his jaw, brushing off the shudder and twitch as fear. What else would it be?
"Please, if this is about your son-"
"You think I still care about that?" Poseidon let out a low, snide chuckle.
"What?"
"I just don't like you, Odysseus. And your suffering is just so fun to watch," he spoke casually, but wore a downright sinister grin. He pressed his trident against his chest, not enough to pierce his skin, but the threat was there. He drug the weapon down his body ever so slowly, slightly digging into the soft flesh.
He jerked back with a gasp, sucking in his stomach as he turned away, closing his eyes for good measure. Poseidon yanked him around by the hair once more.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you," he ordered. Odysseus forced his eyes open, meeting the God's piercing gaze. His eyes were full of fear and uncertainty, yet he had the gall to smile at him.
He gripped his hair tighter, pulling at the roots until he heard him yelp in pain.
"Wanna tell me what's so funny?" he asked in a low, threatening tone. Odysseus shook his head frantically.
"N-nothing!" he stammered, pressing himself against the wall of the cave.
"Then wipe that fucking smirk off your face before I slap it off," he threatened. Before Odysseus had the chance to answer, a swift backhand was delivered to his cheek. He could swear the webbing between his fingers made it sting even more.
"It would be so easy to just split you open," Poseidon mused, drawing a line down the center of his belly with the blunt tips of the trident. He really needed to learn how to sharpen his weapons better, because all Odysseus could focus on was how bad it tickled.
"Just get on with it then," Odysseus sighed, admitting defeat, squirming against the wall. Regardless of how blunt it was, it was still sharp enough to get the job done.
"No. You don't get the peace of a quick death," Poseidon said, pulling the trident back.
"Lucky me," he mumbled to himself. Poseidon sneered and lurched forward, metal clanging on the ground as he tossed the weapon aside. He slammed Odysseus against the wall, one hand gripping the base of his jaw while the other held him back by the shoulder.
"What was that?" he growled in his ear, warm breath ghosting over his skin. Odysseus gasped and tried to twist away, scrunching his neck. Poseidon's thumb rested on the edge of his armpit from where he gripped his shoulder.
Odysseus bit his lip and tried to turn away, but the hand on his jaw didn't allow it. His eyes were squeezed shut, and his breath came out in quick huffs through his nose. His arms were straining at their restraints as he tried to lean away, but... not in the way Poseidon expected.
He studied his expression, ready to scold him once more, until he noticed where his hand was.
Oh. Ooooh.
He looked back at his captive, a sadistic smile stretching across his face. He moved his hand down, raking his claws over his ribs, noticing the way Odysseus struggled to mask his reactions and pass off his smile as a pained grimace.
Things just got a lot more interesting.
Odysseus felt a chill run up his spine when he heard a slow, deep chuckle.
"Oh this is rich," he heard him say, and the hand around his throat forced him to look up. There was a sick, gleeful kind of curiosity shining in the God's eyes that hadn't been there before.
"What do you want from me?" he managed to ask. Poseidon only smirked.
"At first, I thought I wanted to hurt you. I had every intention of killing you slowly and leaving you to drown. But now, I'm second guessing myself," he said, leaning into the captain's personal space. Odysseus tried to lean away as much as he could.
"W-why the change of heart?"
Poseidon laughed, a contorted, garbled sound. "Humiliation is a far better punishment for you. Wouldn't you agree?"
"What?" Odysseus shook his head, brows knit together in confusion. No. There was no way he meant that.
"Tell me, king of Ithica. You wouldn't happen to be ticklish, would you?" he asked, curling his fingers ever so slightly so they dug into his ribs.
Odysseus choked on a gasp, jerking away from the touch as a blush quickly spread across his cheeks.
"And don't lie to a God," Poseidon added. He relished in the mix of fear, confusion and embarrassment on his face as he shook his head.
"Don't, please! Why that?" Odysseus stammered, pressing himself against the wall and staring him up and down. He barked out a quick laugh when both hands grabbed his ribcage before clamping his mouth shut to prevent anymore unwanted sounds from escaping.
"Because someone needs to break that fragile little ego of yours, and I look forward to watching you scream and writhe," he taunted as he began tapping his fingers against his ribs.
His breath hitched in his chest, and he instinctively twitched away. Poseidon smirked and scratched between each bone with sharp claws, and the first muffled giggles started to slip out. Odysseus tried to hold in his laughter as long as he could, but it was a futile effort.
"Trying to tough it out? Go ahead, it just makes it all the more fun when you finally break." Poseidon raked his claws up and down his ribs relentlessly, pausing to trace and scratch the spades in between. Odysseus yelped, twisting side to side in his bonds. His breath was labored from the effort it took to maintain composure, and he had to bite down on his lip to stop the giggles from spilling out. Poseidon wrapped both hands around his entire ribcage and dug in with vibrating claws. The reaction was instant.
Odysseus finally cracked with a snort, releasing all the laughter that had been trapped in his chest. It was a rich, full sound, rare to those even among his inner circle, but now it took on a more desperate tone. He leaned away as far as the chains would allow, twisting uselessly.
"Really? That's all it took? I was honestly hoping you'd struggle a little longer," he teased in a purring, almost sultry tone. "But you mortals are so fragile, so sensitive," he slowly walked his fingers up his torso like they were climbing stairs. Odysseus shook his head as breathless giggled poured freely. "So easy to break."
Poseidon's hands jumped up to drill in his exposed hollows, kneading the muscles and scratching delicate skin. He threw his head back, cackling loudly as he desperately yanked on his arms.
"NOHOHO! J-just gohoho bahack to hitting mehehe!" Odysseus bargained, trying to appeal to his violent nature. Poseidon hummed in thought.
"I don't think so. Pain is an old friend of yours, isn't she? You've come to expect it around every turn. At some point, pain stops being effective at getting the point across," his voice was cold and emotionless, yet the sadistic glimmer in his eyes was proof that he was enjoying every second of this. He rubbed circles with his thumbs in the center of his underarms, sending Odysseus into wild hysterics. The chains rattled as he thrashed around, tugging on his arms with all the strength he had. His mouth hung open in a wide smile, nose scrunching as he snorted. His laughter was loud and deep, with a beautifully frantic undertone.
"But I doubt you were expecting this," to emphasize his point, he scratched up and down his exposed hollows, lightening his touch ever so slightly, but compensating by speeding up. Odysseus threw his head back with a giggly shriek, arching his back and jerking away.
"Confusion and utter humiliation are rather powerful tools of persuasion, wouldn't you agree?" he purred in his ear, making Odysseus squeal and scrunch his neck. Poseidon chuckled at the sound, reaching a hand up to flutter under his chin.
"N-nohoho!" Odysseus giggled and shook his head, slamming his chin down for protection. Poseidon smirked and cocked his head.
"Oh? You don't agree?" he asked as he began tracing up and down the length of his arms, from his pits all the way to his wrists. He watched the way Odysseus giggled and twitched as he lightly grazed the skin. His arms shook, muscles flexing as gentle fingers passed over. "It's not eating you alive that I'm doing this to you? That you're crumbling at the hands of a God, able to do nothing but laugh and scream? Your thoughts aren't racing, wondering why I'm not ripping you to shreds?" he taunted directly in his ear, lips ghosting over the skin.
Odysseus hated how true his words were. He clenched his jaw and growled through his laughter, "Shut uhup! Just shuhut uhuhup!"
"You think you're in any position to make demands of a God?" Poseidon questioned, and even his breath tickled.
"NO! Nohoho, I wahasn't-" he cut himself off with a scream that morphed into helpless laughter when the hands moved down to knead at his belly and sides. He twisted side to side, trying to hide his face behind a restrained arm. His hair was a mess, wet and matted to his forehead. Rosy cheeks were carved with dimples, and crows feet wrinkled at the corners of his eyes. He almost looked cute, in an endearing, pathetic sort of way.
"Let me make one thing clear: I'm in control," he taunted, gripping Odysseus by the hips roughly. He yelped and instinctively bucked his hips to get away, snorting and doubling over as much as he could when he gave another squeeze.
Poseidon arched a brow and smirked down at him. "What's wrong, did I find a bad spot?" he taunted, squeezing up his sides and drilling his thumbs in the divots of his hips.
"Nohoho plehease!" he shrieked and writhed in his binding, unable to escape the relentless touch.
"What did I say about lying?" Poseidon chuckled sadistically at his own joke.
"Plehehease, just lehehet me gohoho! Ihihi'm sorRYYYY!" His voice jumped an octave when sharp claws pricked and tapped against his hips. Full belly laughs gave way to shrill giggles, and the sounds he was making amused Poseidon to no end.
"Awww, what a sweet sentiment. Almost as sweet as those giggles of yours," he teased with a sly smirk, sharp teeth peaking out from under his lip. Of course he wasn't actually complimenting him, he only said it to get under his skin. "Too bad I don't care."
Odysseus flushed and stared at him in shock. "I-I dohohon't giggle!" he tried to sound defiant, but the giggles pouring from his mouth negated the effect.
"Denial's a good look on you. Next, I bet you'll try and say you're not ticklish," Poseidon snickered, reaching a hand up to tease his neck and ears. Odysseus snorted and scrunched his shoulders.
"Nohoho!" he tried to deny, shrieking when a claw traced the shell of his ear. "Stohohop! Plehehease, juhust stohohop!" he pleaded, shaking his head.
"That's right, keep begging. Not that it'll help," he let out a raspy chuckle, cupping his face with both hands. Odysseus was forced to look up at Poseidon as he squirmed helplessly, giggling himself silly as he scribbled around his ears and neck. No matter which way he twisted, the tickling never stopped.
"You humans are so sensitive; so fun to toy with," the God mused as his hands trailed back down his body. "So easy to break," he squeezed his hips again just to watch him buck and snort. "And yet, you all think you can win."
"Ihihi'm sohohohorry! I-it wohohon't hahappen again, I swehehear!" Odysseus bargained futilely.
"Oh, but it will. That's just the way it works," Poseidon explained, digging his claws into his thighs. Odysseus gasped and jerked beneath the threatening touch. "You'll get yourself into trouble and try to work your way around it, but you'll always lose." He slowly scratched down strong thighs, earning a ticklish scream and a violent twitch.
"Fuck! Noho, you cahahan't! N-not thehehere!" he begged through growing hysterics. His words only made Poseidon more curious as he began squeezing up and down his legs.
Odysseus squealed and jumped away from the touch, pressing against the wall of the cave and kicking out futilely. Poseidon looked him up and down with a hungry, scrutinizing gaze, evil smirk twisting into a sharp, dangerous smile.
"Awww, what's the matter? Too ticklish here?" he asked, raking his claws down the captain's thighs as he knelt before him. That alone drew out a panicked bark of laughter as he twitched away.
"N-no! Ihihi mehean- shihihit, stohohop!" he cut himself off with a snort as sharp claws delicately traced his inner thighs. Breathy giggles became hysterical laughter as the soft scribbling got faster and added more pressure. He threw his head back, practically dancing in place as he tried to escape the unending torture.
"Just look at you, barely able to speak. How pathetic," he taunted, scratching higher up his legs, enjoying the way his voice changed pitched. He pinched back down the muscle, drawing out a few giggly snorts. Poseidon couldn't help but comment on it.
"Those are some pretty funny noises you're making. I think I'll stay right here," he kneaded deep into his thighs, and Odysseus practically screamed.
"NOHOHO PLEHEHEASE! IHIHI'M SOHOHORRYYYY!" he threw his head back, cackling wildly. His legs gave out, but he was still held upright by his chains. His legs kicked and writhed in Poseidon's grip, his sanity slipping away with each passing second.
"Good," he growled, raking his nails down his inner thighs just to make his squeal. "But I'm not stopping any time soon. By all means, whine and beg, but don't expect it to help much." From this position, his bare, squirming stomach was right in front of his face. He grabbed Odysseus from behind, making sure he couldn't move away before biting his hip.
He let out a piercing shriek, followed quickly by frantic hysterics. He writhed and twisted in his hold, tugging on his arms with all his might. His vision went blurry as tears streamed down his cheeks, and he closed his eyes so he didn't have to watch his own torment.
Poseidon grazed his teeth across delicate skin, stretched taught over the bone. He nipped and nibbled at his hips, allowing his tongue to flick and trace the contours of his waist. That really seemed to drive him mad, so he continued nibbling along his hips and belly while his hands returned to his thighs.
Odysseus wailed in ticklish agony, babbling incoherently for mercy. He couldn't form a single coherent thought, legs trembling from the relentless onslaught.
"Ohoho shihihit- NOHOHO! FUCK- NOHOT THAHAHAT!" his arms strained to hold him up, leaning against the wall for support. Poseidon drilled circles where his hips and legs met, scribbling along the backs of his thighs. His back arched and he tried to jerk away, only for his leg to be trapped under a strong arm.
"Why, is this a bad spot?" he cooed, scribbling behind his knee all the way up the back of his thigh. His muscles quivered with every pinch and stroke, and his voice periodically cut out.
Poseidon slowed his touches to give him the chance to breathe. Odysseus gasped for air between helpless giggles, legs writhing in his grip as his claws scribbled against the sensitive skin. He hiccuped and snorted when he'd zero in on a particularly sensitive spot.
"I asked you a question," he growled, going back to clawing mercilessly, just to remind him how much worse it could be. Odysseus screamed and thrashed.
"YEHEHES OHOHOKAHAHAY? STOHOHOP!"
Poseidon smirked as he slowed back down, focusing on his right leg. Odysseus whined and snickered as the feather light touches clouded his brain. It was almost worse than when he just dug in. At least then his voice didn't sound so shrill and broken.
"Plehehe- staha- stohohohop! I-I cahahan't!" he pleaded through breathless giggles.
"You humans are hilariously pathetic. So weak and soft, unable to hold out against even the softest of touches," he taunted. Odysseus was limp and pliable, yet still struggled, providing a map of his most ticklish spots.
He continued the light scribbling, spidering his way to the tops of his knees. Odysseus snorted and kicked, laughter jumping up an octave. Poseidon smirked, meeting his eyes to flash him a smug wink before digging in. He clawed ruthlessly at his knees and the tops of his thighs, relishing in the resulting shriek.
He leaned in to whisper in a deep, threatening tone, "I hope you didn't think we were done. There's so many places I haven't even tried. And I plan on keeping you here as long as I like."
"What? N-nohoho y-you cahahan't just do thahat!" Odysseus insisted, eyes wide with fear as he frantically shook his head.
"Actually, I can. And there's nothing you can do about it." He grabbed his feet, wiggling his fingers dangerously close to the soles. "Nothing but laugh."
Odysseus was once again sent spiraling into hysterics, forced to accept his fate.
AN: day 12 is finally here!!! My favorite fic I’ve written so far, which is blatantly obvious by the fact it clocks in over 9k. The mischief prompt was literally perfect for my boy Asterios, I couldn’t pass it up! This is one hefty boi, so grab some snacks & settle on in!
Being a demigod, things had always been...different for Asterios. Growing up, trouble nipped at his heels wherever he went. People treated him harshly or with a short temper, while his own emotions remained unchecked. A peaceful dinner would soon become a screaming match once he sat at the table.
As he got older, Asterios learned of his heritage and the unwanted powers that came with it. He had always felt stronger when people fought in his presence, and despite how great it felt, he utterly despised it. It did nothing but tie him to his birth mother, and offer a legitimate reason for others to keep their distance. As he grew from a boy to a man, he managed to bend his powers to his benefit. A playful argument, some mischievous roughhousing, nothing too serious, but with just enough discourse to provide a decent energy surge. It wasn't easy, but he managed shift the crew's frustrated tension into a more lighthearted chaos on more than one occasion.
It all started one long, boring afternoon.
Most of them were gathered on the deck, lounging about while others idly performed their tasks. Polites was rambling about something that Asterios couldn't hear from across the deck.
Instead, he planted the seed of mischief inside Elpenor's mind: it would be really fun to tickle Polites right now. He won't even see it coming.
Asterios noticed when the idea took root in his mind. The way he sat up straight, eyes darting to look Polites up and down, as if sizing him up.
Polites felt the gaze boring into him from behind and turned around, cocking his head. "Hey, what's with the look?" he asked innocently.
"Nothin' I'm just bored. So anyway, on a scale of one to ten, how ticklish do you think you are?" Elpenor asked out of the blue. Polites froze, sputtering out an answer.
"Wha- I- uh- I can't say,"Polites said scooting away from his friend, a blush already spreading across his cheeks.
"Guess we should find out then."
"No, we shouldn't!"
"Why, you afraid you're gonna be a ten?"
"Yes- I MEAN NO! Elpenor, wait!"
But there was no time for waiting. He dug his fingers into his sides, causing Polites to flinch away with a giggly squeal. He fell off the barrel he'd been sitting on, and Elpenor pounced.
"Yep, I think you're just a lil nervous to find out how ticklish you really are, but that's okay! You're in good hands!"
"I'm ihihin fucking evil hands, lehehet mehe goooo!"
Elpenor faked a gasp at the obscenity. "Language! Where did you learn to talk like that?"
"From me," Odysseus said, walking up from behind. Everyone froze; a flock of startled sheep. The captain had a relaxed stride and a smirk on his face, so the tension eased slightly.
Asterios saw a golden opportunity and took it.
I should join him. It's been ages since I've made Polites scream for mercy.
Odysseus reeled back at the thought, blinking in surprise as he tried to casually look around. Was it just him, or did the voice sound like...
Asterios stood his ground when the Captain looked his way, squinting. Everyone around him was tuned in, looking away would be more suspicious, would it not? By the Gods, he hoped he was playing his cards right.
Odysseus looked away with a smirk. "So, you want a hand?"
"Odysseus, come on!" Polites whined at the betrayal.
"I'd love one!" Elpenor chirped happily, wrestling their victim's arms above his head as Odysseus sat across his waist.
~~~
Asterios waited a few days before he struck again.
Another bout of boredom stretched across the ship, ensnaring the entirety of the crew in its jaws. That just couldn't stand.
Asterios spotted Leander and Plutarch engaged in a sparring match, grappling each other in the middle of the deck. There was a rope loosely marking the boundaries of their wrestling ring.
Leander circled him like a shark, sporting a sly grin. Plutarch smiled back briefly before falling into a deep concentration.
Suddenly, he lunged forth, slamming into the larger man with all his weight. Leander slid back a few feet as he fought to regain control. He had height on him, but Plutarch had made it clear that they were pretty evenly matched in strength.
He dodged to the side, panting for breath before he was wrestled to the ground, pinned with his face against the wood, one arm behind him.
"Do you yield?" he asked playfully, stretching his arm back. Leander grimaced, but shook his head.
"Never!"
They made this almost too easy.
I bet if I tickle him, he'll change his mind.
Plutarch almost gasped at the intrusive thought, a pale blush dusting his cheeks. Until now, he'd made it a point to avoid their mischievous antics, but it would seem they've started to rub off on him. His hand hovered above the back of his ribs, hesitant.
C'mon, he can't even fight back. What's the worst that'll happen? So against his better judgment, Plutarch poked a curious finger between his ribs.
Leander jumped so hard, he nearly knocked him off his perch. Plutarch arched a brow and repeated the motion. He was rewarded with a rumbly chuckle and flinch to the side.
He tried to stand up, but Plutarch panicked and shoved his hands under his arms, scribbling haphazardly, but hey, that seemed to be working just fine. Leander flopped onto the deck, hiding his face in the crook of his arm while deep belly laughs escaped him.
Asterios couldn't help but smirk as he watched the pair tussle on the ground. Good, they need this. A little bit of mischief never killed anyone.
He winced as a shrill squeal filled the air, looking over to see that Plutarch had managed to pin his arms above his head, raking blunt nails over his exposed hollows. Asterios let a sly chuckle slip out, shaking his head fondly as he stood and vanished into the crowd. As far as he was concerned, his work here was done.
~~~
Asterios knew he had to wait to strike again, less anyone catch on. It was a close call the first time with Odysseus, but he supposed he didn't know. If he did, he was sure he'd have been keelhauled. It was just a coincidence. One that had him paranoid, and he mentally marked Odysseus off the list as a future pawn in this little game of his.
Over a week had passed by, the crew growing restless once more, and he was not immune to the monotony of sea life.
He was walking down the hall when he paused, noticing Perimedes walk into one of the side rooms for a physical checkup. Oh this was too good to resist.
As soon as the door shut, he turned down the hall and stood outside the door, listening. He crouched down, watching through the keyhole for any sort of cue to work off of. Sage, one of their resident medics, had Perimedes laid on his back on a wooden exam table. Sage felt around his neck and shoulders, and even from his limited vantage point, he could see the way Perimedes tensed at the touch.
Is he ticklish? Asterios planted the idea in his mind like a sprouting seed. Sage blinked in surprise and looked his patient up and down. He shook his head, continuing the physical. He moved his hands down to his stomach and gently kneaded towards the center of his belly outwards, right above the hip bones.
Perimedes grunted and twitched away, shooting a glare at the medic. "Watch it."
"Sorry, didn't know you were tickli-"
"I'm not," he cut him off defensively. Sage paused and tilted his head curiously.
He's too cocky for his own good.
"I'm sorry, of course not. How silly of me," he apologized curtly before resuming the probing touch, this time intentionally trying to tickle.
"Hehey w-whahat do you thihink you're doing?"
"I'm just proceeding with the exam. I thought you said you weren't ticklish?"
Asterios stood up with a proud smirk, dusting off his hands.
"I'm not!"
"Then why're you laughing so much? You coming down with a case of the giggles?"
"Thehehe what?"
"Oh dear, I'm afraid you are. And there's only one treatment."
"No- no Sage, gehet awahay from me!"
Asterios turned back down the main hall, heading towards the upper deck as the sound of panicked laughter grew louder even as he walked away.
~~~
It was… nice seeing the others smile and laugh, knowing he had a hand in it. It’s not that he didn’t want to personally put his friends in their place, he just… didn’t know how. His tough, grim persona did well at hiding the fact that he was nothing more than some shy, awkward, guy. But it also helped him go unnoticed.
He leaned against the wall, watching Elpenor and Aridolis from afar. He wasn’t sure what they were talking about, so he tried to go about his plan in a subtle way.
Whatever Aridolis had said apparently sent him on a tangent. Asterios smirked at his chance.
I bet I know what’ll make him shut up.
Elpenor didn’t notice the smirk that spread across Ari’s face until it was too late.
“Nohoho wahahait! W-what dihid I ever dohoho to you?”
~~~
Asterios didn't notice at first, but he always felt great after these random bouts of mischief. He was bolder, stronger, lighter on his feet. He began doing hard, intense labor that was usually reserved for people like Eurylochus or Leander. He even beat both of them in an arm wrestling match, back to back.
Needless to say, the outwardly cocky demeanor from the usually quiet and stoic man was a noticeable enough change for his crew mates to comment on.
"So glad to see you finally come out of your shell! I knew you just needed some time," Polites chirped, winking at him as he walked up beside him and bumped their shoulders together. Asterios ducked his head and smiled, something dangerous lurking beneath it.
"You know what? I think I really am," he purred, almost on the verge of a growl. Polites eyed him warily, scooting away ever so slight. Because even the friendliest amongst them knew exactly what he was.
"Well, I'm glad to hear it! We're all brothers now, it's about damn time we started acting like it," he said, a hint of amusement lacing his voice. Asterios crossed his arms, leaning back against the railing as he looked at Polites with a softer grin.
"Seems like some of them already are."
Polites chuckled and shook his head. "They're all a piece of work, I tell you. But... it's nice to hear laughter on the ship again. Good to know they can still have fun."
Asterios felt his smile falter at the indirect compliment, a faint blush creeping across his cheeks.
"So how 'bout you?"
Asterios practically jumped out of his skin. "Huh?"
"I don't think I've ever heard you laugh, all this time."
He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, "Oh come on, that's not true! I laugh, I just don't laugh often," he clarified. "I'm not a giggly little bitch like some people," he added, looking him up and down. Polites scoffed loudly, jaw hitting the floor.
"Wha- are you talking about me?"
"And a few others," he couldn't hold back a sly chuckle. "There. See? I can laugh."
"Yeah, at my expense," Polites accused playfully. Asterios merely shrugged smugly.
"Yeah, and?"
Polites stared at him long and hard, fingers twitching by his sides before he shook his head.
"No, not today. I'll get you when you least expect it," Polites ultimately decided and started walking away.
The smirk fell from his lips, shoulders dropping as the color drained from his face.
"Wait- what do you mean? Polites, what do you mean?" he called out after him. He turned around to face Asterios, walking backwards and wiggling his fingers. Since when did Polites of all people get scary? Then he thought for a moment about who he grew up with and smacked himself in the head. Of course.
Speak of the devil, Polites bumped into him, and he smiled, slinging an arm around his shoulder. Asterios felt a chill run up his spine. He could see Polites say something that made Odysseus chuckle and glance his way.
He was fucked. Scratch that, he was beyond fucked. Asterios turned bright red and abruptly made his way below deck, shoulder checking Leander on his way.
~~~
Needless to say, he was nervous, but the more time passed, the more he relaxed. Polites was easy going, he let him off with a warning this time; and he knew that his little guard dog Ody wouldn't attack without orders. He heaved a sigh of relief: he was safe.
For now.
He laid low for well over a month, but of course the mischief didn't stop. Arguments needed settling, pranks were pulled and required revenge, people were plain old bored.
Julien was lounging on the stairs to the upper deck, legs stretched out before him. His head was tilted back and eyes closed, seemingly enjoying the warm sunshine. Elpenor and Perimedes sat on either side of him, staggered on the lower steps.
He was one of the few other demigods aboard the ship, so Asterios would say they got along just fine. It was nice to know he wasn't the only one with divinity in their blood, making itself known through different ways. They both had wings; Asterios with his neatly tucked behind his ears, and Julian with a pair at his ankles. The crew was more than curious about the extra appendages, which was why Asterios almost always kept his hidden. Unfortunately for Julien, they remained in plain view. And right now, were well within reach.
"So can you fly with them?" Elpenor asked, eyeing them as his hand inched closer on the step. Perimedes smirked, carefully watching his movements and mirroring them.
"Not really, but I can hover and glide when I really need to," he answered.
"Oh, so they're just for show?"
Julien let out a slightly annoyed huff. "Sure, I guess."
"So why are they red like that?" Perimedes asked, causing him to tense up immediately upon hearing the question.
"I'd rather not talk about it."
Elpenor shot his friend a look, stomping on his foot to signal that was the wrong thing to say. Perimedes hissed in pain and shot him a look back.
"Well I think it looks great on you," Elpenor chirped, running his fingers through the downy feathers. Julien gasped and shot upright, tucking his knees to his chest while his wings pressed themselves flush against his skin for protection.
"Oh? What's this?"
Asterios never stuck around for long, regardless if he was the cause or not. As soon as laughter filled the air, he was looking for a way out. Don't get him wrong, he loved feeding off the unhinged chaos, but something about it all brought on a hot burning embarrassment and something else he couldn't quite describe.
Fear? Hell no, no way in all of Tartarus was he afraid of fucking child's play such as tickling. Maybe it was more of a fear of rejection? That he wasn't good enough to join their games, so he excludes himself before anyone else could.
Sound logic, but not quite.
Or perhaps it was uncertainty. He had no idea if he was ticklish or not, and he wasn't too keen on finding out. Yes, the others looked like they were having fun, but he had to remind himself that it's all forced and most saw it as a form of punishment and torture. So he wasn't about to let anyone turn him into a giggly little bitch, per his own words.
He was frozen where he sat, his heart racing as he watched the pair team up against the other demigod. His wings began to tingle and he bit back a whine, shaking his head and pressing them deeper into the mass of curls. He could only imagine how awful that felt, and he did feel somewhat sorry for him. Not sorry enough to go help, mind you, but sorry nonetheless.
Julien kicked his legs out, barking out a laugh when Elpenor scribbled the base of the wing as he tried to climb backwards up the stairs. Asterios felt a shiver run down his spine and a blush spread across his cheeks. Perimedes grabbed his other leg in a headlock and he stood up abruptly, stretching to try and come off as casual before heading to the opposite side of the deck.
"Asterios! Come to help?" Elpenor called out enticingly, countered by the frantic screech of protest from Julien, "No don't!"
Asterios stood still when called, sparing a glance at the trio and wishing he hadn't, embarrassment swirling in his gut. He had to resist the urge to hide behind his wings, knowing he'd never live it down. He played it as cool as he possibly could, snorting in amusement.
"You fuckin' wish." He quickly went on his way, eager to get away from the scene.
"Wait! Hehehelp mehehe!"
Asterios knew better than to look back. If he saw the desperate face that matched the voice, he'd cave and go back to save him. The martyr, who would be thrown to the wolves in his place. No fucking thank you.
"Sorry, but someone's gotta get the work done around here. You have fun though! Maybe try fighting back or something," he called, without so much as a second glance.
Odysseus watched the exchange from where he stood at the wheel, humming thoughtfully. He made note of it for later, the pieces finally falling into place.
~~~
If only he'd known Odysseus was onto him. If only he knew, he would've never gone after him. He should've know better after that first time, when Odysseus shut him down with a piercing glare that bore into his soul. The captain was smart, much smarter than Asterios ever was, and more calculating.
It was a mistake to assume he'd be just as clueless as the rest of them.
It might've also been a mistake to use Eurylochus as a pawn, but he was curious! He just wanted to see if the first mate had a playful bone in his body, to see that stoic demeanor crack when Odysseus inevitably turned the tables.
He was standing underneath the main sail, struggling to reach a dangling rope. Eurylochus watched on with a poorly concealed smirk.
"Need a hand, Captain?"
"No thanks, I'm good," he dismissed the offer, still straining to grab the frayed ends. Eurylochus let out a low chuckle, shaking his head fondly.
"Whatever you say."
Asterios saw the way he smirked, watching the captain from the corner of his eye. It was too tempting not to pass up.
It would be so easy to tickle him right now, he left himself wide open.
He watched the way Eurylochus stiffened, seemingly studying Odysseus and weighing his options.
What the hell, he could use a good laugh.
Making sure he was still distracted, Eurylochus reached up and scribbled against his stretched ribs. He slammed his arms down with a borderline shriek, whipping around to glare at Eurylochus. There was a fire in his eyes and a danger to his smile. Eurylochus balked, unsure why he thought that was a good idea. He knew he wouldn't get away with a stunt like that, and he'd never do that in front of the crew because Odysseus would fucking kill him.
"Did you really just do that?" he asked, a smirk already playing at his lips.
"I'm sorry Sir, I-I don't know what came over me-"
"I do," Odysseus bragged.
Eurylochus arched a brow, standing a little straighter in confusion. "What?"
Suddenly, Odysseus grabbed him by the forearm and tugged him close enough to whisper in his ear, "I'll tell you later. Right now, just play along and laugh. Easy enough?"
"E-excuse me?"
"Sorry, but I have to make an example out of you." In one swift motion, he yanked his arm above his head, spinning them around to pin him against the mast. He adjusted his grip to the other hand before drilling his thumbs in the center of his hollows. Eurylochus threw his head back, lost to bouts of deep, rumbling laughter.
So obviously, he was more than reluctant when the captain called him into his quarters.
Eurylochus knocked on the door hesitantly before testing the knob. It was unlocked, and he stepped inside.
"Captain?"
"Oh good, you're here. Sit down," he gestured to an empty chair as he finished writing something at his desk.
Eurylochus did as he was told. "So, what did you want to speak about? I hope this wasn't a trap," he teased lightly. Odysseus chuckled, shaking his head.
"I can see why you'd think that. But no, unlike some people on this ship, I'm man enough to face a challenge head on."
Eurylochus reeled back, blinking in shock. "Sir?"
"The men have been more rowdy than usual, wouldn't you agree?" Odysseus continued as though he hadn't spoken. Eurylochus inhaled sharply through his nose and exhaled a deep, heavy sigh.
"That's one word for it," he mused.
"And why do you think that is?" Odysseus asked as he crossed his arms over his chest, not quite sitting in his desk, but leaning heavily.
"We've been away from home for years, and we haven't docked in months. Men grow bored," he reasoned. The captain shook his head.
"Men, or man?"
Eurylochus closed his eyes, letting out a tired, "What?"
"I think someone's been pulling a few strings..." This seemed to grab his first mate's attention.
"What?" he repeated, more serious and less exasperated this time. "What are you getting at?" he asked cautiously.
"Just think about it. We have demigods amongst our ranks; we don't even know everything they're capable of."
"You don't think maybe they're just having fun? We're in a war, Odysseus, let them laugh while they can."
"And were you "just having fun" when you pulled your little stunt?" he questioned smugly, cocking his head expectantly as Eurylochus snapped his mouth shut. "Or did an enticing little voice in your head make the suggestion?"
He gasped, staring at Odysseus in shock. "How did you-"
"I'm an observant guy," he said, cutting him off.
"So... who do you think is responsible?"
"Asterios, there's no doubt in my mind."
"The quiet one?" Eurylochus arched a brow. "Why?"
"He's the son of Eris."
"And that makes him guilty?"
Odysseus huffed and rolled his eyes. "No, everything else does. That just explains how he's able to do it."
Eurylochus leaned back in the chair, "Everything else?"
"You ever notice how he never sticks around to watch? But he's got this sly, smug look the whole time. And after a particularly hectic day, he gets stronger. Remember when he beat you at arm wrestling?"
"Don't remind me."
"I think he gets stronger afterwards. It would explain why he's suddenly so helpful around the ship."
"You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?"
"I know I'm right about this."
"You better be, because you'll make an ass out of yourself if you're wrong."
"When have I ever been wrong?" Eurylochus opened his mouth to speak, but Odysseus cut him off, "Don't answer that."
The first mate mulled it over in his mind. ""Why are you so sure that anyone is behind this?"
"Because I know you well enough to know you'd never try and get me in front of the whole crew. You're smarter than that."
"Thank you?"
"But it felt irresistible, didn't it? The need to cause chaos? I felt it too, when I got Polites a while back."
"Which time?" he teased. Odysseus narrowed his eyes.
"With Elpenor."
"Yeah, which time?" he repeated tauntingly. Odysseys laughed and shoved his shoulder playfully.
"Oh shut up! Maybe it's not always his fault, but it's more often than you'd think."
Eurylochus sighed. "So? What are you gonna do about it?" A sinister grin slowly spread across the captain's face.
"Alright, so here's what I'm thinking..."
~~~
It was a day like any other, and Asterios had no reason to feel on edge. He sat with Leander and Plutarch, idly carving hunk of wood and brushing the shavings underneath the railing when the pile grew too high.
He was trying to carve a figurine of Cetus. Growing up, he had always been enamored with the sea monster constellation, and when his true parentage came to light, it made sense. Eris explained to him that the creatures in the sky were her pets, and Cetus had always been one of her favorites. She even said that when she would check in on him, Cetus would be watching from over her shoulder.
A fairytale to tell her child. If she wanted to fill his head with stories, she should've done so a long time ago. Yet, he found comfort in the presumed lie, and he didn't know what else to carve. Maybe if they really did watch him, this would make them happy.
Was he fucking carving this to impress his mother? He shook the thought out of his head.
He didn't pay much attention when the captain walked up from below deck. That is, until he called his name.
"Asterios, a word?"
He didn't sound... angry, but there was a dangerous edge hiding beneath his words. Asterios held his breath, not daring to move an inch.
"Yes?"
"Relax, I just want to talk."
That was never a good sign, and Leander and Plutarch were already exchanging curious glances. Fuck.
"Come, walk with me," Odysseus invited with a deceptively warm smile. Asterios didn't answer for a long moment before he caved.
"Yes Sir. No one touch my fucking carving," he threatened as he stood, brushing himself off. He followed the captain, trying to ignore the looks he received. He still saw the way Elpenor mouthed the words "you're in trouble," and he looked away, feeling heat rise to his cheeks.
Gods, did he have to take him all the way to the front of the ship? Yes they were "alone," but everyone could see him inevitably get chewed out and overhear every word.
"May I ask what this is about? Have I done anything wrong, Sir?"
"Oh I think you know exactly what this is about."
Shit. Asterios began to panic, but outwardly played dump.
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't know, you tell me."
This felt like a game, and he didn't like his odds of winning.
"Tell you what?" he asked hesitantly.
"I'm mostly just curious in how you did it. I can get the why, I just can't understand the how."
Asterios furrowed his brows, tilting his head in confusion. "Captain? Are you feeling okay?" He asked, playing up his concern for his wellbeing. Odysseus glared at him as he spoke.
"I'm fine-"
"Okay, because for a minute there, you were talking like you drank sea water or something- ow!" Asterios rubbed the back of his head where Odysseus smacked him.
"Now, you ready to listen?" he asked, waiting for him to nod. "Good. Because I'm not mad, I just want you to own up to it, okay?"
Asterios's heart pounded in his chest, but he remained still. "There's nothing to own up to," he lied. Odysseus sighed, shaking his head.
"You sure you don't just wanna do things the easy way? I'm serious about not being mad, I honestly thought it was kinda funny."
Asterios whipped his head over to look at him.
"Thought what was funny?" Asterios held firm to the act. He already came this far, backing down now would be a death sentence.
"Okay, don't say I didn't warn you." Odysseus cupped his hands around his mouth, taking a deep breath to shout across the deck.
"Wait!" Asterios cried, unsure of what he was about to say and took his last chance to explain. Odysseus lowered his arms with a proud grin. "Just- let me explain."
"Oh, please do."
Asterios looked around for any chance at escape, but both Eurylochus and Polites stood nearby on either side of the railing, clearly ready to grab him if he tried to run. Polites noticed him staring and he flashed a bright smile, waving at him with wiggling fingers. Asterios glared at him, cheeks dusted pink and jaw clenched tightly.
He flinched when Odysseus snapped his fingers in front of his face to get his attention. "Hey, your captain's speaking to you."
"Yes Sir?"
"I said I'm waiting."
Oh, what an asshole.
Asterios glared at him as he spoke, "Well, as you know, I'm a son of Eris-"
"Mhm," Odysseus hummed and nodded along, leaning against the railing casually. Asterios fought back a sneer.
"Since I was a child, I noticed people tend to fight in my presence. I've learned to control it somewhat, so that the crew wouldn't be at each other's throats," he explained, not quite looking Odysseus in the eye.
"Oh, so you're doing this for our benefit." Something about this tone set Asterios off, and he took a step back.
Odysseus was having fun toying with him. The look on his face alone was priceless; eyes wide and mouth hung open in shock, and he could see the feathers of his wings bristling beneath his hair.
"Yes?"
Odysseus grinned so wide, it nearly split his face in two. "In that case, let's go tell the crew what you so kindly did for them."
"What- no! You can't! Just fuckin' wait!"
Asterios physically felt the color drain from his face, the panic beginning to set in. Fuck, why was he telling everyone? Why couldn't he just chew him out in private, why did it have to be this public hanging of character? He would've preferred if Odysseys just drug him below deck and beat the shit out of him for daring to step out of line. That way, he could at least lick his wounds in private. Was he going to have to fight the captain in front of everyone? His mind was a whirlwind, and he couldn't keep up.
His frantic protests were ignored as the captain called his crew, "Hey everyone, Asterios has something he'd like to say."
"Shut up, no I don't!" Asterios hissed.
"That's no way to speak to the captain," Eurylochus warned, but he didn't have his usual stone cold expression, and his tone was lighthearted, almost teasing. Asterios didn't know if that made it worse or not.
Oh Gods, everyone was looking at him now, and his only chance at escape would be to throw himself overboard. He bit his tongue and stood there, completely still. Incomprehensible whispers murmured through the crowd as he just stood there, balking like a dead fish. If Odysseus wanted to humiliate him, he'd done it. But he knew this was nothing compared to whatever was to come.
"Asterios? You okay?" Leander asked, stepping closer to check on his friend. Odysseus held up a hand to stop him from getting any closer.
"Oh he's fine, just a bit shy. Aren't you bud?" he asked, slinging an arm around his shoulders. Asterios visibly stiffened and flinched away.
"Don't make me do this," he whispered, barely audible. Odysseus chuckled lowly directly in his ear, "Too late to back out now."
"Well can he get on with it? I got shit to do," Perimedes spoke up from the crowd.
"Oh I think you'll wanna hear this. But seeing as our friend is a little tongue tied, I guess I'll help explain."
Asterios felt like he was going to die. He certainly wanted to. Maybe if he wished hard enough, he could just fade from existence. His lips were pressed in a thin line and wide eyes stared at the floorboards on the deck to avoid looking anyone in the eye. His cheeks were steadily growing a bright pink, and his breath came slow and deep as he fought to remain calm.
Odysseus must've sensed his growing panic and was quick to try and put him at ease. A moot effort, seeing as he got him so worked up.
He squeezed his shoulder and shook him gently to loosen him up, a hearty chuckle slipping out. "Relax, will you?" he teased, enjoying stretching this out. "You're not in trouble."
"It sure seems like I am, Sir."
"What? Noooo, that wasn't my intention at all!" he feigned innocence, smirking when Asterios rolled his eyes.
"Trouble? What did he do now?" Elpenor snorted in amusement.
"What didn't he do?" he mused aloud, launching into his speech. "I'm sure you've all noticed a lot more pranks, tickle fights, and general mischief. Just this time last week, an actual food fight broke out in the mess hall. And you all have this little puppet master to thank for it," he proudly exclaimed, reaching up to ruffle his hair teasingly.
Asterios could only stand there and watch it happen. His face was burning, and he's positive he's never felt more mortified. He could hear confused voices murmur among the crowd, but his ears were ringing, and he couldn't fucking move, could barely breathe. It was like he wasn't even in control of his body.
He caught a sympathetic look from Leander, silently mouthing the words, "help me," but Leander only gave a subtle shake of the head from where he stood. He caught a glimpse of Perimedes and Elpenor peaking out from behind Polites, and all three of them looked ready to pounce.
"So wasn't there something you wanted to say to everyone?" Odysseus prompted, snapping him out of his daze.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, eyes darting up to look at the crowd before adverting his gaze.
"No, that's not it!"
Asterios furrowed his brows, "What? I-I thought-"
"You were going to say you're welcome," he corrected ever so helpfully.
Asterios could only stand there as Odysseus shook him by the shoulders, trying to get him to relax and loosen up. He remained tense, and the movement was awkward and jerky. He continued to look down at his feet, scared of what he'd see if he looked out at the small crowd gathered on the deck. Harsh glares with hateful sneers, knowing looks accompanied by a teasing smirk, he didn't know which would be worse.
He chanced a glance up and realized that the second option was much worse.
"So why don't you tell him how thankful you all are."
He tried to protest, to question what he meant, but suddenly the arm around his shoulders wrapped around his throat like a vice and slammed him backwards, onto the deck. He fought against him with everything he had.
"Fuckin'- let me go! I said I'm sorry!" he yelled frantically, flailing about to keep his limbs free. His panic grew when he saw Polites skip over and pin down his legs. Okay, maybe he didn't actually skip, but he might as well have, the smug bastard.
"Relax will you? We're just gonna give you a taste of your own medicine. You can handle a little tickling, can't you?"
"Nah, he looks like a screamer," Elpenor teased, walking up with Perimedes. Asterios blushed an ungodly shade of red because Elpenor of all people did not just fucking say that about him.
"Said the screamer!" he lamely shot back, wiggling his arms free from under the captain's knees where he was pinning him before continuing to fight for his freedom.
"Think I'll like you way better when you can't talk. Eurylochus? Mind making yourself useful and get his arms?" Perimedes asked, making a show of cracking his knuckles. He swore as Eurylochus wrestled his arms above his head, glaring daggers at the first mate.
He jumped when he felt someone sit down beside him, sighing in relief when it was only Leander.
"Leander, thank the Gods! You gotta help me, they're gonna kill me!" The smirk he got in return made his heart sink.
"On the contrary, I think a little laughter and fun will do you some good!"
"You asshole, you think this is fun?" he growled. He got much more enthusiastic agreement than he expected, prompting his blush to spread. He closed his eyes, muttering, "Zeus, just kill me now."
"Oh don't be so dramatic," Odysseus rolled his eyes and poked his belly, earning a harsh twitch and a yelp. "Just tell us where you're ticklish, and this can all be over a lot sooner."
Asterios felt panic course through him, and he bristled. "I don't know!" he rushed out before he could think better of it.
Odysseus studied him with an amused look before the smile dropped, ever so slightly. "Holy shit, you're serious aren't you?"
Asterios stared at him wordlessly, mouth gaping open though no sound escaped.
"Aaaw, now we just have to tickle him!"
"Shut the FUCK up Polites, I swear I'll- mph!" Asterios clamped his mouth shut in the middle of his sentence as Polites began softly tracing his arches.
"I'm sorry, you were saying?" he asked innocently, scratching blunt nails against delicate skin. He squeaked and tried to jerk his feet away,
But they remained trapped. His chest shook as he fought to contain his mirth.
A shy giggle slipped out when Leander began poking between his ribs. He jerked away with each touch, squealing when he suddenly pressed into an awaiting hand in his other side. He looked over to see Plutarch smirking down at him.
"You're both trahahaitors! Hehehey wahait!" he cried out when they each attacked his ribs with a flurry of pokes. A sudden electric sensation at his knees had him kicking the deck and snorting. Whoever the hell had gotten ahold of his knees was a fucking deadman-
"Ha! I knew you'd snort if I did that!" Perimedes bragged, and of course it just had to be him. He swears he's gonna rip out his fucking tongue-
"I'm sorry, you're gonna what?" he growled, resting his hands atop his knees threateningly, making him flinch.
Asterios froze, closing his eyes because he couldn't bring himself to look at any of these assholes. "Please tell me I at least said that out loud?" The rest of the crew watched on in confusion, glancing between the two.
Perimedes shook his head, sporting a downright sinister grin. "No, I'm afraid you didn't." And then he started squeezing his knees relentlessly, sending him into a fit of snorting cackles and shrieks. He continued to berate him, "So that's how you fuckin' do it? Get inside our heads with our own thoughts? Wonder what else we'll hear when we really get you going."
Asterios screamed when he scratched the backs of his knees, nearly kicking Polites off from where he sat on his ankles.
"Wait, let me ask something," he could hear Elpenor's voice, too close for comfort, and opened his eyes to see him sitting beside Eurylochus with a smile of his own. The horrible feeling at his knees stopped and he caught his breath in between shaky residual giggles.
"So was the wet blanket prank even my idea?" Elpenor asked, leaning in a little closer. A sly, proud smirk tugged at his lips as he remembered that one. Elpenor had gathered everyone's bedding in a barrel filled with sea water and snuck the wet sheets back into everyone's rooms, making their bed with unpleasantly damp covers.
His prolonged silence and sheepish grin told him everything he needed to know.
"I was proud of that one, you bastard!" he growled, digging into his exposed pits without mercy. He barked out a loud, wheezing laugh and felt his face burn hot with embarrassment at the sound. He tugged on his arms, but he was thoroughly trapped. He wanted to die, he sure felt like he was, and he needed to escape- or hide at the very least. It was pure reflex, to snap his wings tight over his face to conceal his blushing cheeks and tearful eyes.
As he expected, there was an uproar of teasing and laughter from his tormentors and their audience.
"Aaaaww, that was so cute!"
"He can't run, but I guess he can hide!"
"What's the matter? Is someone a little embarrassed?"
Oh, so they wanted to just straight up humiliate him to death. Decimate the carefully crafted persona he'd built for himself, and leave what was left of his dignity and sanity in shreds across the deck. He'd never be able to show his face again! He certainly wouldn't be leaving his room anytime soon, and if they thought he was gonna be nice to them after this-
Elpenor grabbed one wing and gently pried it back, chuckling at the downright terrified, flustered look on his face. "Why d'you look so scared? Just relaaaax, we're all having fun," he cooed tauntingly.
Asterios scoffed, "No, you're having fun!" He'd fucking kill him for even insinuating-
"I don't know, you sound pretty happy to me," Leander spoke up with that dopey ass grin he always wore. Okay, so he'd kill both of them.
"Thanks, didn't fuckin' ahahask," he growled, breaking off in breathless snickers as Leander pinched each rib.
"That wasn't very nice," he teased, laughing along with his friend's torment, wiggling a finger between the bone. Asterios snorted and jerked away, right into Plutarch's waiting hands on his other side. And the dance repeated.
Polites noticed Aridolis lingering closer ever so slowly and smiled, waving him over. “Wanna give me a hand?” he offered, focusing all of his efforts on one foot to make room for him.
Ari immediately perked up at the offer, sitting on the ground facing him. All the while, Asterios continued to thrash and yell out threats.
“NO! Ari Ihihi swear toho thehehe Gods, i-if you lahahay aha hand on mehehe I’ll kihihill you ihin your sleep!” he growled through shrill giggles. He heard a few of them chuckling at him, and he wanted to die. If he were being honest, Tartarus would be better than this.
“Mmm, I don’t think so,” Ari hummed as he joined the fray, raking sharp claws up and down his sole. Asterios was once again thrown into hysterics.
Elpenor still hadn't let go of his wing, and it twitched, trying to tuck itself against his head for safety. The movement didn't go unnoticed, and he smirked as he rubbed the soft feathers between his fingers. Asterios let out a shrill shriek, and the wing immediately snapped back, nestling under the hair behind his ear. He couldn't help but giggle at him.
"Aw, are you winking at me?" Elpenor asked and shot him a wink in return. Asterios turned a darker shade of pink and let out an annoyed huff, tucking the other wing away angrily. "Oh come on, you're no fun," he teased, grabbing one wing and prying it open.
Asterios shook his head, giggly pleas falling from his lips. "Dohohon't you dare! Elpenor, please!" He tried to scrunch his neck and lean away, flap his wings, anything to get away.
"Oh these are a really bad spot, aren't they?" he taunted, wiggling his fingers closer. Asterios flinched away with a nervous giggle.
"They must be, if they got him acting like that," Odysseus added.
"I'm sure they are. Remember how bad Julien screamed? Let's make this asshole scream even louder," Perimedes cracked his knuckles as he spoke, and Asterios slammed his head against the deck in defeat.
"Can you at least have the decency to kill me in silence?" he growled, hiding half his face with his free wing, unable to look at them for another second.
"How can you still be so damn grumpy?" Polites asked, scribbling beneath his toes and earning a deafening shriek. Amputation sounded pretty fuckin' good right about now.
Polites gasped, letting out a laugh of his own. "Oh you are SO dramatic! You should hear him Ody, he's worse than you!"
"Oh I heard it that time," Odysseus taunted with a playful edge to his voice. He leaned in closer to whisper, "What's the matter? Thoughts going haywire? Can't keep a grip on your powers? That's too bad."
Asterios could only squeal and giggle hysterically as Elpenor pinched and rubbed the wing between his fingers. He snorted and arched his back when he scratched at the base, feathers ruffled and twitching with every touch.
"SOHOHOMEONE FUCKING HEHEHELP!" he demanded through a screaming laugh. Julien stepped forward with an amused grin, squatting down to better look Asterios in the eye.
"Sorry, but what makes you think you deserve it? I mean, maybe if you would've helped me back when I needed it..."
The irony was not lost on him. This was some kind of cruel, poetic justice for not helping his fellow demigod from a fate clearly worse than death. He should've saved him, if only to have someone on his side when the time came. But he was so arrogant, so sure that it could never happen to him...
"Shihit, I'm sohohorry, ohokahay? I-I should've hehelped when I hahahad thehe chance!" he pleaded.
"Yeah, you should've. But you have fun though! Maybe try fighting back or something," Julien repeated his words to him, rubbing salt in the wound. But in this case, it felt more like sugar; sickeningly sweet and sticking to his skin in an unbearable manner. The tickling also left him more dazed and jittery than any sugar rush ever could.
Asterios shook his head, begging him not to do this before he grabbed his other wing. He squealed loudly when they both attacked the base of the wings with quick scratches and soft squeezes. He snorted loudly, unable to even shake his head as they held his wings in placed.
Surely, anything would be better than this strange, unusual torture, this public humiliation. This downright defamation of character. Lesson learned. He'll swear off his powers if he makes it out of this alive.
Even in his frantic state, he tried to hold these thoughts close. But Odysseus had quietly been studying him, and the words found purchase in his mind. Did he really think they were doing this just to humiliate him? That they weren't his brothers, dragging him into a game he himself started? That they would only care about revenge, and not the absolutely adorable sounds he was making, or the lopsided grin on his face? He'd have to make sure to set the record straight. In private though, he knew better than to call him out... again.
Meanwhile Elpenor and Julien sent him into a fit of hysterical giggles with the attention given to his wings. He snorted in between shrill snickers, blushing profusely and shaking his head. He heard Elpenor gasp and felt a poke to his cheek.
"By the Gods, you have dimples? Why didn't you tell us? You look so cuuuuuute!"
"Whahat? Nohoho I don't!" Asterios cried out in confusion between bouts of laughter. It's a good thing he couldn't fucking think, because otherwise he'd be downright spiraling after that comment. But even in his delirious state, he knew it was nothing more than playful teasing. Elpenor doesn't actually think he's cute, he's just trying to get a rise out of him. Don't listen to him.
"Uh, yeah you do."
"Poor thing, didn't even know he had dimples," Odysseus added mockingly, also deciding to poke his cheek.
Polites twisted around and leaned back to look, "Aw, I wanna see!"
"Just shut uhuhup! P-plehehease! Hehehelp mehehe!" he desperately cried out for anyone to take pity on him. He thought maybe he had a change when he locked eyes with Sage, but the medic merely shrugged and offered a sheepish, not very sympathetic, grin.
In all the time they've been away from home, it had been a rare sight to see Asterios smile. It was even more rare to hear a genuine laugh from the demigod, so they were going to take advantage of the sight while they could.
But they were rather mean in their attack, and Asterios quite literally couldn't even remember the last time he'd been tickled, so he finally bid his dignity farewell and threw in the towel.
"Ohohokay- OKAHAY! Please, you wihihin! Ihihi'm sorry! IHI'M SOHOHORRY! OHO FUHUCK YOU, STOHOHOP!" His giggly begging turned to screaming pleas for mercy when Elpenor decided to blow a raspberry at the base of his wing right as he decided to talk. Odysseus held a hand up, signaling them all to stop.
They let him go and he immediately curled into a giggly ball, tucking his arms and legs as close to him as he could. His wings were plastered to his blushing face, a bright smile just barely peaking out from under them. Residual giggles escaped as he slowly caught his breath, interrupted by the occasional hiccup.
"I ha- hic- hate all of you," he panted. Perimedes couldn't help but let out a condescending chuckle when he hiccuped.
"Now I think that was more than fair given the circumstances," Odysseus reasoned. Asterios lifted a wing to glare at him with one eye.
"That assault was a- hic- anything but fair!" Elpenor was unable to hold back his own laughter that time. Asterios silently cursed himself and tried to steady his breathing.
"Neither is using us as your little chaos puppets."
Asterios couldn't help but smirk, a sly chuckle slipping out. "Chaos puppets. I like that." The smile dropped from his face as he continued, "But uh, you guys won't have to worry about that anymore. Think I learned my lesson."
"Yeah, next time you wanna start a tickle fight, man up and do it yourself," Perimedes taunted, prompting Asterios to growl and kick at him, stronger than he really intended. But it's Perimedes, so he didn't feel too bad about it. Especially after that.
Asterios huffed, feeling his cheeks heat up ever so slightly. "I didn't want to start anything, that was the whole point of using you guys," he deadpanned, fighting the lingering smile on his face to glare at him.
"And how did that work out?" Polites asked smugly, propping his chin on Odysseus's shoulder from behind. Asterios blinked in surprise, not expecting him of all people to continue ragging on him. He grinned wider, flashing all his teeth, "Told you I'd get you."
"Yeah, and you look real proud too, smug bastard." His comment made them chuckle, and he found himself unable to stop smiling. But everyone was staring at him, smiling and whispering, and he still felt like he wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
Leander reached out to help him stand, but Asterios shoved him away. "Don't fuckin' touch me, asshole."
"Oh come on, don't be like that," he whined. Asterios sneered at him and stormed off to his room, ignoring the smirks, quiet snickers and teasing remarks tossed his way.
Yeah, he wasn't gonna leave his quarters for a week.
He shut the door, flopping face first onto the thin mattress. That had been horrible, unlike anything he'd ever been forced to endure. The worst part of it all was the embarrassment. At least the feeling stopped once they did, but the shame lingered thick and heavy. The sounds he made... No one would take him seriously ever again.
He tried to sleep, but found it surprisingly difficult. In fact, he felt wide awake, jittery, energized. It felt just like when he would stir up trouble on the ship, only... stronger.
Oh fuck them to Hades and back. He did not just get a power trip from... from that! He still wasn't completely sure how his powers worked, but he refused to believe it. He had to draw a line somewhere.
A sharp knock at the door startled him out of his thoughts.
Just great. Who the hell could that be, and didn't they know how to take a fucking hint?
"Get lost."
"It's me."
Asterios turned on his heels, eyes wide and staring at the door.
That motherfucker-
He marched to the door, swinging it open. He glared down at the captain, arms crossed, "Didn't you get enough?"
"I came to check up on you. You okay?" he asked, at least sounding genuine. Asterios snorted and leaned against the doorframe, subtly blocking him from entering.
"Yeah, no thanks to you assholes."
"You've had it coming for a long time, and you know it," he teased lightly. Asterios arched a brow, clearly unamused. Odysseus looked him up and down with a fond smirk. "So can I come in?"
Asterios barked out a loud, condescending laugh, "No."
"I brought a peace offering," he added, holding up a cup of wine. Asterios glared at him for a moment before accepting the cup, stepping aside to let him in.
Once the door was shut, the captain turned to face him, "Seriously though, I wanted to make sure you're okay. I know some of the guys can get a little carried away."
"Don't act like you're not one of them," Asterios shot back, sitting on the edge of his bed. Odysseus chuckled and shook his head.
"Yeah, I'll admit, I can go a little overboard," he bragged, and Asterios rolled his eyes. "But you're not like, actually mad at us, are you?"
"What? No," Asterios was quick to answer. "No, it's not that." He was definitely feeling some type of way after that, but he didn't think it was anger. He was used to furry and rage, but this was something else entirely. It didn't feel great, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant either. Not that he'd tell him. It was confusing, treading these unfamiliar waters of, dare he say, friendship.
Odysseus softened, seeming to recognize his struggle. "It can be a little overwhelming, can't it?"
"That's an understatement."
"Heh, yeah. But, you'll get used to it," he said with a wink. Asterios froze.
"No I won't."
"Eh, you will. You're fair game now."
"I am not!" he half growled, half whined.
"What? I'm just being honest. Running away from tickle fights won't work forever."
Asterios stared at him, stuttering for an excuse, "Wha- I- no I don't!"
"Yeah, you just magically disappear when one breaks out, isn't that convenient?"
"If I knew it was just gonna be more of this, I would've just taken the wine and slammed the door in your face."
"So you don't deny it?" he goaded, tongue poking out between his teeth in a cheeky grin.
"It's embarrassing, what the hell do you want from me?" he snapped.
"Hey, I get it. But I'm just saying, you're not as subtle as you think. And, I don't know, maybe Perimedes had a point."
"Excuse me?" Asterios gripped the cup so hard, his knuckles turned white and he was staring at Odysseus like a trapped wolf: angry, scared and cornered.
Odysseus knew he had to tread carefully. He took a deep breath, bracing himself. "Sorry if this seems blunt, but were you just too shy to include yourself? That's why you made us do it, isn't it?" He knew from the look on the demigod's face that he was right.
"I'd shut the fuck up if I were you."
"I'm right though, aren't I?" he asked, cocking his head to the side curiously.
Asterios glared at him as he spoke, chest heaving with every nervous breath he took. He took a step forward, trying to appear threatening. "If you tell anyone-"
"I won't."
Asterios seemed to relax. "Good. Thank you." He adverted his gaze and took a sip of wine to busy himself.
"Don't mention it." He gave his shoulder a pat as he left, not commenting on the way Asterios flinched at the touch. He paused at the doorway, looking over his shoulder. "Oh, and Asterios?"
"Yeah?"
"You're our brother now. We care about you. And sometimes, that looks a lot like bullying."
Asterios broke out in a timid grin. "Yeah, I think I'm figuring that out."
Odysseus gave a nod before letting himself out.
Asterios fell back on the bed, sighing deeply. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all...
He'd always been a little bit dramatic.
ok wait, reblog if you’ve cried at least once because of math, doesn’t matter which grade i’m trying to prove something
i need a sitcom about the royal family of ithaca (odysseus, penelope and telemachus), their fresh-out-of-jail "hey kiddo wanna do tax evasion" uncle hermes, their sassy wine aunt circe, their beloved "pspspspsps hey you human baby can I enlighten you with the art of war/hate crimes" aunty athena and their grumpy neighbors helios and poseidon, who have beef with their family for absolutely no reason (4 seasons later it actually turnes out they were his father uni friends but they split up because ody've eaten the last pizza piece or smth)
also there's a running joke that tiresias haven't grown out of his emo phase
Odysseus: I miss my wife
Polites(Very drunk): I can be your wife
Odysseus: what?
Polites: *looks at Odysseus for a solid second before rolling over into him*
"i. Can be. Your wife."
Odysseus: intense bi panic, but also for some reason still hasn't pushed Polites off
Polites: "so do I need to wear a dress or..."
Odysseus: "no no this is fine"
RB if your blog is a safe, accepting space for asexuals!
A collection of Polites x Poseidon and Eurylochus x Zeus doodles :3
Right off the bat, everyone point at @bloodlustwarrior for Zeury’s existence. It is such a chaotic pairing and I love it. Toxic yaoi my fav /j Also naturally had to add in Polites n Poseidon cause I genuinely do love them now ( ◕‿‿◕ ) It’s def my fav god x mortal ship for Epic -w- Doing all of these makes me really appreciate the wackiness this fandom can so casually cook up. I definitely should draw more random crack/rarepairs. So like not saying hand your wacky pairs over,,,but I’m all ears >:]
Although I do just wanna say, I’m not actually that big on Odysseus ships outside of OdyPen + OdyPo. So if I do draw more rarepairs, just never expect an Ody one. Sorry to disappoint :,3 But hey, just means there’s more room for being creative with pairings (¬‿¬)
Mandatory bonus doodle atp:
Agammenon : I sleep with a knife under my pillow
Ajax : I sleep with a spear !
Odysseus : I think I win this one bc I sleep with Diomedes
Odysseus : and also he sleeps with a knife
Odysseus : I know that bc he once woke up from a nightmare and accidentally almost stabbed me in the middle of the night
Diomedes : do you know the reason I asked you to come here ?
Odysseus : bc of the dick pic I accidentally sent you ?
Diomedes : *stops pouring wine*
Diomedes : accidentally?
How I imagine OdyDio to work out (based off of @akaittou s "Hold to your Vows)
Dio: I dont want to make you break your wedding vows-
Ody: My wife gave me leave to get fuck who I want to
Dio: Rly?
Ody: Yeah.
Dio: Oh good for m-
Ody: I never fucked a man though
Dio: ...Thats bullshit
Ody: Yeah youre right
Dio: So...who was it?
Ody: ....
Dio: 🤨
Ody: .......listen-
Dio: Ody-
Ody: ...
Dio: ...
Ody: Meneleaus
Dio: Oh, that's not sur-
Ody: ...and Agamemnon
Dio: What.
Ody: ...
Dio: Together?
Ody: ....
Dio: Oh...oh gods
Mean Girls (2004) dir. Mark Waters
Hear me out
The iliad, but they all 5 and fight over a toy Menelaus showed them
Nestor is the old man cause hes 6 and like, super smart
The gods are their parents/older siblings who took them to the park
the
“Then jump in the water and kiss me~”
“Penelope I’ve told you this before- you know I’m afraid of the water!”
“I’ll make sure that you are safe and sound~”
Odysseus: “gotcha beach 😏”
I’m very excited I finally finished this! I’m astounded at the attention my sketch of this is getting, I just hope this gets noticed too! Heh!
I feel like when he says “more than you know, his expression is very pained at first, like I just know he meant that! UGGH
the sons of atreus
odysseus is a very attractive man what can i say.
anyways better version of the illiad where instead of achilles throwing a fit about his girlfriend being taken by agamemnon, agamemnon just kisses Odysseus instead! everybody wins!
also menelaus is a little bitch about missing his wife and he NEEDS his buddy’s comfort im sure.
Bro eat it ALL FR 💀
He's just a hungry man let him be
Anniflamma you doomed the fandom./JOKE!
Why do I do this....
I finally finished The Odyssey! It took me way longer than it should have, which is fine because it’s lore accurate. Anyway, here’s my rendition of the scenes post “Suitor Slaughter”
Inspired by This Post so credit where credit is due
Got a bribe from dear @hypnosun
I always say that I will never do something like this ever again and I have shot my foot yet again...
Odysseus may say he's not gay but I know that every time he has some nefarious plan he grabs Diomedes by the nape of his neck just to see Dio's eyes light up and the slightest hint of a smile on his lips
I was listening to Epic: The Musical on shuffle on Spotify. I was listening to Thunder Bringer. And I got bored of it right at "You or your crew?" So I skipped
And I fucking hear "There are other ways of persuasion"
ODYSSEUS STOP SEDUCING ZEUS WHILE IM LISTENING TO EPIC
The fun thing about accepting the idea that Homer was Odysseus’ grandson is that that essentially means that he spent an entire novel thirsting after his grandfather.
Like, Homer, buddy, why are you describing your grandpa’s luscious thighs in such detail ?
imagine Hera, Aphrodite, and Athena going to Odysseus instead of Paris with the apple. (in lore this would never work since the goddess know Odysseus would favor Athena, but let's pretend) They tell him to give the apple to the fairest like in the story. And then he just leaves.
He goes back to his palace to the shock of the goddesses and just gives Penelope the golden apple. He's just like yeah, 3 goddesses basically told me to give you the apple, I don't really know why, but here I am.
Like what are they going to do, his choice perfectly aligns with all their domains. Aphrodite? How is chosing his wife as the most beautiful and fairest not an act of love. (she might think it's blasphemy to put his wife above her, but I dont' think she'd mind if it's an honest and sincere act of love that he does) Hera? How is him putting his wife and his marriage above all else anything but a celebration of her domain. Athena? She'd probably be the most cool at the start, but how is that not a brilliant 3rd option to take (really 4th) that doesn't insult any of the goddesses
You know what ? The idea that Odysseus discovered his mother's death by finding her ghost in the Underworld gains a new, even more sad dimension if you assume that Epic follows the Odyssey, because according to it, she didn't just die of grief - she died by walking into the sea after seeing Aeolus' storms blow Odyseus' ships away from shore
Not only did Odysseus' crew get him lost at sea yet again, but they also killed his mom