tw: suicidal thoughts mention
transcript under the cut
08/08/2023
I really thought about ending it all, all day today. Life feels unbearable and has been for so long.
At 19:30, [...] arrived by train in Porto and decided the first thing he wanted to do was treat me to dinner. He didn't even stop at his house first, straight from the station to mert up with me, just because.
So, with all that spontaneity and affection in the world , we walked around [...], ate kebabs, bought plushies to hug and browsed a bookstore. Not only he decided to buy The 7 Husbands of Evelyn Hugo just because I said it was good, I looked at this book, said I loved flowers and he picked it up to add to the other one he wanted. Only after he paid he gifted it to me, knowing I wouldn't accept unless tricked into it.
I have people that make life worth living, and they're capable of gestures of kindness and affection bigger than any of my doubts. I don't know if I'll enjoy this book or not, but it will always be a wonderful reminder of that.
Photos from the late 1800s - early 1900s
Palestinian women grinding coffee beans 1905.
Bedouin woman in Jerusalem circa 1898-1914.
Palestinian family of Ramallah, circa 1900-1910.
Shepherds in Palestine 1912.
Church of the Holy Sepulchre festival, Palestine, 1890.
Coffee house in Palestine, circa 1900.
Friday prayer, al-Aqsa, Jerusalem, 1920.
I begging you all to stop calling Hozier a lesbian. The jokes were so funny in the beginning but there's too many of them now. the fact that he's a man, capable of so much love and devotion and to shamelessly sing about it, to own his emotions and thoughts is part of why his work is so important to me. As a bisexual person, one thing I had to destroy was the notion no one will love you as much as a woman, that women have the purest and more intense forms of loving, that a man could never love like that. A man is not inherently less loving for being a man. For the same reasons we've learned to not excuse a man for romanticlly neglecting you because of his AGAB, and demand better of them in our relationships, we cant do that if we dont recognise their ability to feel just as deeply and pass it as some "lesbian soul" bs instead.
when hozier said “the likes of a darkness so deep that god at the start couldn’t bear” and when hozier said “i’d still know you not being shown you i only need the working of my hands” and when hozier said “some part of me must have died the first time that you called me baby” and when hozier said “i would still be surprised i could find you darling in any life” and when hozier said “heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i” and when hozier said “but if we fall i only pray don’t fall away from me” and when hozier said “you were steering my heart like a wheel in your hands and darling i haven’t felt it since then” and when hozier said “if there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact they didn’t do it right” and when hozier said “if i was a riptide i wouldn’t take you out” and when hozier said “darling there’s a part of me i’m afraid will always be trapped within an abstract from a moment of my life” and when hozier said “do you know i could break beneath the weight of the goodness love i still carry for you” and when hozier said “darkness always finds you either way it creeps into the corners as the moment fades” and when
you can choose a family you want to send aid to, and click the link to send money. the spreadsheet also has bar graphs showing how much money each family is getting.
I love how different forms of art are all obsessed with each other. A book tries to capture the feeling of music, a painting tries to depict a scene in a book, a song tries to paint a picture. And it's always insufficient. No single form of art can encapsulate another form of art and capture the essence of it – but it tries, and its attempts are impossibly compelling. All the forms of art are in love with each other and spend so much time trying to express what makes the other kinds of art so lovely.
THE CHAFF PROJECT
Hi! Are you cis in the UK and you'd like to support trans rights? Great!
How: buy a trans flag pin and wear it in public.
Why: chaff is an overwhelming amount of false positives so that when a missile gets close to the plane, it hits the chaff and not the plane.
In practice: the goal is to make it DIFFICULT to identify trans people to target with bathroom bans, and to create many FALSE POSITIVES for businesses.
Basically, you might get accused of being trans and kicked out, because of the badge. You say: I wear the badge because trans rights matter.
You follow up with a letter to the business saying you're fucking furious because some nosy dipshit just tried to play fucking genital police with you in the loos. You know lots of trans people (don't name any, if you do) and you wear the pin in support and you're disgusted at them for allowing this.
Blame the business for allowing the behaviour.
Businesses see that their cis customers are getting bothered over a badge and may clarify trans-inclusive policies, so they can kick out the bathroom botherers instead of nice cis allies.
You only need to buy and wear the badge, and you are protecting trans people. You can be genuinely heroic. Even one cis person doing this helps, and everyone you get to join in helps even more.
Non-affiliated badge link:
https://rainbowandco.uk/collections/trans-pride/products/transgender-pride-flag-badge
melissa barrera (the actress who got fired from the scream franchise for being pro palestine) has started a fundraiser with unrwa!
A place to keep my personal art. Expect landscapes, portraits, and feelings-turned-illustrations, with rambles on trying to figure out how to be alive.
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