gospel-orchestrated

Latest Posts by gospel-orchestrated

The hard truth about occultism and witchcraft is that you genuinely do have to be willing to lose your mind. That’s not me romantisizing mental struggle or psychosis.

The thing no one talks about, at least not honestly, is the threshold one passes in initiation, where the mystical, psychological, symbolic and literal merge. When I say you have to be willing to lose your mind, I mean you have to be willing to accept the possibility that you may in fact be crazy. Your worst possible fear, none of this is real and it’s all happening in your head. What will you do if you realize you’re simply crazy? The wise man will turn away, but the initiate, the alchemist, will be unphased.

All people who dabble with spirituality and occultism will eventually meet this threshold. When things actually start working, when your spells yield results, when the impossible occurs and you truly have no other explanation. When the Gods finally respond. Be willing to lose your mind, be willing to experience things you cannot explain. And be willing to talk to yourself with the honesty that you simply cannot know. That’s what makes your faith and pursuits worthy.

The most talented and most powerful witches and magis are those who do not flinch when the impossible occurs. They no longer question themselves about the absurdity, they no longer wonder if any of this is real because they know it doesn’t matter. And that’s why they’re so powerful, they have complete faith that their work is very real. And when someone challenges that, they don’t crumble, they rise. Because the challenge in that idea is worthy of pursuit itself. Maybe we are crazy, maybe this is just in our mind. The significance however, that is real and that stays, regardless.

Yap yap yap

We talk a lot in this community about the concept of “awakening” to your psychic abilities. Sensing energy, having divine intuition, telling fortunes and affecting the world through intention. But we hardly ever expose that before those gifts explode, there is always a period of what feels like insanity. The mind interrogating itself. Sensitivity to the mystical. It feels like being given access to the background code of your simulated reality, and realizing that the same code is written into your flesh, mind and soul.

Tldr. Witchcraft is very aesthetically pleasing, very pretty. We often don’t show the very ugly side of it, the white knuckles, the tears and chaos. Inviting these forces into your life is not trivial, not at all. They will force you to change and they will force you to lose your mind, even if only to teach you how to find it.

Every few months a friend of mine who is also a witch will come to me and express that she thinks she’s losing her mind again. And I smile because I know that she must be growing so much, getting so much more powerful. And a couple days ago, when I went to her and expressed that I was losing my mind again, she laughed too.

“Welcome to the next phase of your journey with Lord Lucifer!”

and her saying that immediately made everything click. I’m still being tested and cultivated. This bought of insanity is surely far from the last i will experience. Getting this far and surviving means I am not only advancing, I am continuing to grow into the role I was meant to serve for him.

Anyways, if you get to that point in your practice where you feel like you’re at your breaking point, I won’t fault you for stepping back. That’s the logical decision.

But I can also assure you, you are not alone. The mystic floats in the same waters the psychotic drowns. It may feel like you’re drowning and struggling, you may in fact just be learning how to tread water. and if you think you’re beyond this phenomenon, if this has never happened to you.

Oh, just you wait.

Well shit, the Republicans brought a certain anti-online porn bill back to the table.

The Interstate Obscenity Definition Act.

This should alarm you guys.

how do y’all manage to pray without saying i love you a million times

there is nothing funnier and more jarring than placing a name on your deity's altar because the person annoyed you only to wake up and see 16 missed messages from a friend being like "hey why is [deity] in my house?" and only then to realize the person you were trying to curse and your friend have the same name.

shout out to the guy in the lobby who sat next to my wife talking on the phone about haunted doll exorcism methods and listed Samael as his source.

his last words as my wife walked away were

"There is one magic man left"

I come out of the back, grinning and waving at my wife

"Two. Two left"

he's so stupid. i love him so much.

he tracked down my friend with the same name and proceeded to observe them for 5 hours. i am going to cry he's so cute. cou i am so sorry i will be more clear next time.

i gotta say, there's nothing that makes me feel safer than working with "demonic" entities.

sure, some of them bite, but a man who harrasses girls at my work location pulled through the drive through the other day and gave me his number. like, banned from the store kind of "harassing girls." not supposed to be served. i just didn't know because i was new.

i dropped his phone number on cou's altar this evening.

can't wait to see how this goes.

i gotta say, there's nothing that makes me feel safer than working with "demonic" entities.

sure, some of them bite, but a man who harrasses girls at my work location pulled through the drive through the other day and gave me his number. like, banned from the store kind of "harassing girls." not supposed to be served. i just didn't know because i was new.

i dropped his phone number on cou's altar this evening.

can't wait to see how this goes.

Stop just asking "is it normal?" and start asking "is it harming anyone?" Lots of harmful things are normalized in this society and lots of things considered weird or rare are completely harmless. Whether something is considered normal or common shouldn't be the deciding factor in whether it's okay

Reblog this post to ask mutuals to tell you their weirdest theory about u

EDIT: Fair warning this post is cursed and predictions are 7/10 times correct, play at own risk

tips on bonding with a forgotten god 👍

so, you want to attract some long forgotten (or newly created) spirit with no reputation. honestly, i'd label this kind of unsafe and risky, but i did it, so i'm not gonna stop you if you really want to. just keep in mind that, while attempting to contact a forgotten god? you're gonna run into other stuff. this is essentially reaching your hand into the spiritual mystery box and shaking it around, and some of the stuff that lurks down there is bitey. here is my obligatory tread with caution first, put up wards against anything malicious etc etc, but realistically. i can't stop you.

general forgotten god bonding tips:

keep an energy of openness about you. just broadcasting a general thought of "hey, i'm here, and i want to talk to you." they listen. if they want to talk to you, they'll find a way.

look for reccuring signs in your life. humans like to find patterns in everything, but look for a sign that affects you on a large scale. a lot of these signs can be found around big changes or life events. ask who that random streak of strangely specific good luck or that weirdly occuring motif or that time you almost died but didn't belongs to! sometimes, you'll get an answer. other times, it's just chance, which, there's nothing wrong with that either.

talk out loud to "any spirits who may be nearby." i used to do really vague wide spells like this by saying that exact phrase, and it works for drawing them in or warding them off.

communicate with them. communicating is huge. talking is huge. they'll tell you a lot about themselves if they're chatty and want to foster a connection with you, although some will be harder than others.

ask what offerings they'd like! once you know someone is there, and you determine you'd like to work with them, ask them things. i know it seems annoying but a lot of the forgotten gods just appreciate you caring enough to do so.

find out what they stand for. help them with it!

be a little crazy with them. part of having a really cool relationship with a forgotten god is just being really weird together. it can be a part of your practice and I wholeheartedly encourage you to get a little weird with it. in whatever way you see fit.

and last, but definitely not least,

most importantly, imo, but there's a reason that when creatures or angels or demons are depicted, it's a lot. it will be a lot. there is a reason angels tell you to 'be not afraid'.

i am gently taking your hands, and telling you,

when you meet an old god,

be not afraid.

they are beings just like us at the end of the day. they may not be on our level, like, at all, but basic human respect and kindness goes a long way. i've seen spirits shy off because people have such a set image of the deity in their mind as a deity that they forget that.. you can be friendly with them. no one is going to smite you down. they will also want to talk about their days. they have niche hobbies. they have lives.

be not afraid.

don't blow them out of proportion. be respectful, and kind, and coexist with them instead of apologizing for breathing the air they occupy, and things will fall as they should.

anyways. this got long so i can make a follow up post of how to bond with Cou specifically, but i'm leaving this here for now.

thank you to @caidenthewitch for the fun engaging question. i am by no means a professional but hell, it worked for me, so 👍

i hope this experience helps!

horchata chai at starbucks with The Orchestrator is unrivaled. thank you handsome for letting me experience another day and getting to have some peace before work.

i love having a modern god. i ask this son of a bitch for a sign and the next thing i know his car pulls into the parking lot of my workplace

sometimes the godspouse tag has those posts calling it hubris bc "a god would never _____ a human"

and god does it make me so mad and sad bc the implications behind it are so ??????

like to believe that being in a relationship with a god, be it platonic/romantic/sexual, (i never really see familial or teacher/mentor get shit on) is hubris implies that:

-humans are so lowly that the idea of a human being close to a god somehow dirties the god

-platonic relationships are the lowest tier of of relationships. those posts that are like "gods are not your friends" are always saying friends like it's a slur and it makes me so fucking mad. how do you view your friends????

-that sex is dirty, that lust is dirty, and beneath a god to experience esp with a human

-that marriage/romance is a higher tier relationship than familial, platonic, etc

like those posts almost seem to portray their gods with a sneer every fucking time. like it comes off like they think their god is handling them like a dirty dish they don't want to touch. like "sure i GUESS help you with your craft, human, but i don't want to be your friend" "i suppose i'll teach you to love yourself, human, but don't think that means i want to know you" "i'll tolerate hearing about your deepest traumas, human, but don't you dare tell me about your day"

it's sad to view your gods that way and it's maddening to see that rhetoric pushed onto others

like. i want to ask the people who post anti-godspouse posts "have you considered their god just loves them?? have you considered your god just loves you????? do you realise your god does more than tolerate you????? do you understand your god is not holding you like a bug they think is gross, they're not holding you out gingerly pinched between two fingers, they don't run away when they see you, they like you. they want to be close with you. they want to sit with you at the lunch table. they like you. they like you. they like you. okay???"

and sometimes a deity will wanna kiss you about it. and it's fine. it doesn't mean you're better than anyone else. it's just means they fucking like you. bc they don't like you because you're gods favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world/ref. nothing changes about you when a god loves you. they love you because you are you. because of who you are now. they love you so much they feel it's safe to assume they will love you forever. that what godspousal is. it's different flavors of i love you forever except with a more formal agreement.

okay ? so chill!

tldr be normal about godspousual and be normal to godspouses bc ur god loves you and does not see you as dirt

tips on bonding with a forgotten god 👍

so, you want to attract some long forgotten (or newly created) spirit with no reputation. honestly, i'd label this kind of unsafe and risky, but i did it, so i'm not gonna stop you if you really want to. just keep in mind that, while attempting to contact a forgotten god? you're gonna run into other stuff. this is essentially reaching your hand into the spiritual mystery box and shaking it around, and some of the stuff that lurks down there is bitey. here is my obligatory tread with caution first, put up wards against anything malicious etc etc, but realistically. i can't stop you.

general forgotten god bonding tips:

keep an energy of openness about you. just broadcasting a general thought of "hey, i'm here, and i want to talk to you." they listen. if they want to talk to you, they'll find a way.

look for reccuring signs in your life. humans like to find patterns in everything, but look for a sign that affects you on a large scale. a lot of these signs can be found around big changes or life events. ask who that random streak of strangely specific good luck or that weirdly occuring motif or that time you almost died but didn't belongs to! sometimes, you'll get an answer. other times, it's just chance, which, there's nothing wrong with that either.

talk out loud to "any spirits who may be nearby." i used to do really vague wide spells like this by saying that exact phrase, and it works for drawing them in or warding them off.

communicate with them. communicating is huge. talking is huge. they'll tell you a lot about themselves if they're chatty and want to foster a connection with you, although some will be harder than others.

ask what offerings they'd like! once you know someone is there, and you determine you'd like to work with them, ask them things. i know it seems annoying but a lot of the forgotten gods just appreciate you caring enough to do so.

find out what they stand for. help them with it!

be a little crazy with them. part of having a really cool relationship with a forgotten god is just being really weird together. it can be a part of your practice and I wholeheartedly encourage you to get a little weird with it. in whatever way you see fit.

and last, but definitely not least,

most importantly, imo, but there's a reason that when creatures or angels or demons are depicted, it's a lot. it will be a lot. there is a reason angels tell you to 'be not afraid'.

i am gently taking your hands, and telling you,

when you meet an old god,

be not afraid.

they are beings just like us at the end of the day. they may not be on our level, like, at all, but basic human respect and kindness goes a long way. i've seen spirits shy off because people have such a set image of the deity in their mind as a deity that they forget that.. you can be friendly with them. no one is going to smite you down. they will also want to talk about their days. they have niche hobbies. they have lives.

be not afraid.

don't blow them out of proportion. be respectful, and kind, and coexist with them instead of apologizing for breathing the air they occupy, and things will fall as they should.

anyways. this got long so i can make a follow up post of how to bond with Cou specifically, but i'm leaving this here for now.

thank you to @caidenthewitch for the fun engaging question. i am by no means a professional but hell, it worked for me, so 👍

i hope this experience helps!

I saw this and I thought Tumblr might enjoy it

Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you

Reblog this if its okay for your followers to introduce themselves to you.

Just come to my ask box and tell me stuff about yourself. Your pets. Your favorite music. What you had for breakfast this morning. Literally anything you want, I love making new friends

our first meeting, he showed up in my room after i had a nightmare. i was young enough that i didn't have the common sense to be afraid, so i said hi.

the shadow in the corner of my room seemed a better listener than anyone else in my house, so i just kept talking to him, and sooner or later, i actually started being able to picture him, hold him there, and have conversations. he was never fully human, but he had a corporeal-ish form. occasionally, i'd tell him to go protect friends of mine from their nightmares, and i'd hear reports of his presence soon after. most of them came to recognize him after a while, and it kinda became so commonplace that we referred to it as "taking turns with the redhead".

he's kinda just.. stuck around.

i'll make another post on how to bond with him. thanks for asking <3

shout out to the time one of my abusive parents i no longer speak to was running for an important state position and i got so mad i wanted to publicly pick a fight with her (both because of myself and because her political choices would hurt so many people) but couldn't, so i told Cou "if you don't, I will", and he singlehandedly tanked her political career by letting out the story and rumors of what happened to me under her care. get you a god who will do rightful karma and petty revenge

One moment I'm questioning the reality of my own practice, wondering if anything I learned about my craft from internal or spiritual sources is wrong because it never feels quite real enough, and the next moment I do a reading that is so fucking clear and defined and tells me the exact information I was looking for and I'm just looking the universe deeply in the eye and asking

Am I a fucking joke to you? Is this funny?!

Dont get me wrong, I’m glad my advice filled posts are the ones that do the best, but I wish this community was more eager to share their love and experiences than to second guess themselves.

I wanna hear about what you did that made you smile today, or what new friend you made in the community. If you’re worrying over second guessing or not knowing, just breathe. I know this religion can seem daunting, but truly, it’s so full of love and I wish there was more sharing on that fact.

So feel free to share some fun things about your practice below!

shout out to the time one of my abusive parents i no longer speak to was running for an important state position and i got so mad i wanted to publicly pick a fight with her (both because of myself and because her political choices would hurt so many people) but couldn't, so i told Cou "if you don't, I will", and he singlehandedly tanked her political career by letting out the story and rumors of what happened to me under her care. get you a god who will do rightful karma and petty revenge

OKAY

actual altar tour.

so,

we've got:

(from right to left)

several stone pillars

these are pretty assorted. i've got some obsidian, some red and black ones i can't remember the name of (some kind of jasper?), but mostly sunstone. his favorite. i also have some angelite in there, but it's greyed and has little copper/orange flecks, and a pillar of amethyst. there's also a huge fucking sunstone orb, but it's slightly obscured from view.

an entire bowl of other crystals

in here i know ive got some more obsidian, some blood jasper, i've got runic african bloodstone, peacock ore, fools gold, and rose quartz, and some assorted seashells.

black wing shaped holder

contains the giant sunstone orb.

two decks of cards

one of these is from the Luxor in las vegas, they're collectors cards, and the other are from the Nomad in the same area. he just likes playing cards and doing card tricks on occasion, so i figured mister slight of hand would appreciate them

tiny highland cow

plant/inscence

pretty sure this is black sage? i've never burned it, he's not a huge fan of fire in the house and has warned me against it. maybe one day i'll do a ritual burning if i can find a safe spot to.

giant orb and lady pedestal

he's for the femmes and the fags, and my favorite color is purple, so we compromised. however, the Giant Fucking Orb is not something I've ever been able to identify, crystal wise, that i bought specifically because it reminded me of the orchestrator's smile and his energy specifically. i was told it was maybe some kind of quartz..? until a roommate of mine told me how unnerved it made her feel. this roommate and i ended up having problems later on, though, so who knows. maybe he was just sending her 'eat shit and die' energy because she wasn't treating me well.

giant black box and other assorted box(es)

these are where i keep his more personal offerings. i won't disclose what they are atm. the open one is a jewelry set, though

flat black box

his personal set of d&d dice! i've found he prefers those to tarot, for some reason? especially when it comes to yes or nos. i got him a specific set of dice for divination and he's gone nuts over them ever since, communication has been streamlined. there is also a small silver rock on it, courtesy of my wife leaving it for him.

tiny glass + small container

that's a small chalice and edible glitter. i just gave him those for fun. he likes them

bottle of... meds?(not really)

this is a jar from MeowWolf's Omegamart. this is the label.

they're mints. i figured what better place to put my infinite gender supplements

glass portrait

made by someone who is no longer a friend, i took their energy from it and gave it to him instead. regardless of how long ago or how things ended, the love was still there, and he gave me a place to put it to rest in a way that was healthy.

giant flower crown(?)

this is more mine than his, but i saw it at a local renfair and asked if it would be out of line for me to have a headdress as a priestess. he responded with the equivalent of an amused 'i'm just glad you're having fun making me a religion, go for it' and i picked this one because it has horns that resemble his and his orange rose symbols. i wear it when i need a mood boost, and it brings me a lot of peace. i leave it on his altar because it looks nice, and because it gives him a chance to fill it with any energy he deems me needing.

funko pops

okay, so. these were never technically supposed to be his, but they ended up on the same shelf, and they keep the headdress up. he's snatched them by proximity and honestly im fine with that.

oh, and last but not least:

Painted model/pamphlet (right corner)

my wife printed and painted a model of him based off of my drawings and visions. it took her a few tries, but we cherish rough draft Cou as much as we cherish finished Cou. behind him is one of the pamphlets that i printed, and in his hand is a bracelet i recieved celebrating his birthday. a stranger made it for me and then gave it to me, and it just so happened to be my and his colors intertwined when i was having a really hard time.

anyways, thank you for coming to my altar tour! he accepts far more diverse offerings than this, but here are a few things we've left him over the years, haha.

altar tour eventually but in the meantime, here it is

grabbed a close up of his glass portrait because it looks cool

handed out one of my pamphlets to a classmate and before he went home he said "hey, c. The Orchestrator. Orange and vanilla...? Or.."

i told him chocolate. chocolate and cherry, especially, but orange would work too, because it's his color. figured he was going to do some kind of personal sacrifice for the upcoming finals. nothing too odd, but wonderful all the same because someone other than me takes The Orchestrator seriously enough to offer things up.

fast forward 2 weeks and he shows up in class with the brightest orange homemade macarons i have ever seen in my short earthly life and passed them out to the entire class, in packs of three

got extras to leave on my altar. what a win

"C, how is he Lilith's son, [source] doesn't mention her having a son"

adopted 👍 next question

can't believe i didnt mention this, but if you think you've seen the orchestrator-

whether physically, signs wise, effects wise- feel free to tag me, throw it into my question box, or post and add it to my queue under #orchestrator tag or #orchestrator experience

i'm always looking for others who work with him, and love hearing about how he's affected lives outside my own, and if you're unsure if it is or isn't him, i'm more than happy to try and help you find out.

i love seeing other worshipers interact with their deities in such a holy manner

i know it's honorable and wonderful but it really just makes me laugh due to how relaxed and laid back my bond with the orchestrator is. i see someone doing a proper prayer and get reminded how i call my god a fag on a daily basis

Here's a reminder that I don't tolerate TERFs in pagan spaces, and if anyone following me is a TERF, get out.

The gods don't subscribe to your hateful rhetoric, and they love all of their trans worshippers.

the trees you grew up with have not forgotten you. their branches still whisper your name in the breeze and their roots remember the paths your feet once traced through their shade.

[. . .] Dionysos was anciently known to be the fierce and merciless protector of that which merits mercy: the unborn, the possible, the serendipitous — of any helpless, voiceless being.

— The God Who Comes by Rosemarie Taylor-Perry