Latest Posts by hauntedcloudtheorist - Page 10

She loves the rain, the ocean, every form of water Mother Nature graces.

When thunder rumbles and lightning strikes, she opens the window and draws the curtains behind while some others retreat into their shelters. She could stare out the window, hand outstretched to touch the wind for hours at a time, eyes glazed over with quiet fascination and settled peace. She finds energy under the dark skies, nostalgia fueling her fingers and her mind. She doesn’t mind the droplets on her face, never did even when she should worry about her laptop and notebooks’ welfare. 

The grin on her face grew larger and brighter as the rain aggressed; the storm, the howling wind and the ground-shattering thunder did nothing to deter her. She laughed, giddy and almost with a manic tinge in her tones, whenever the thunder rumbled in response with her enthusiastic spirits.

There’s a different kind of pride when you see how far the people that you’ve call friends, your family have come. 

It’s a different kind of joy, of heart-heavy feeling, the nostalgia and being somehow, untethered to the scene you’re seeing in front of you.

Rewatching Hannibal made it clear for me that the reason I root for Hannibal and Will's twisted romance so much, because they are absolutely insufferable people by themselves and should not be separated

Reblog if you want Hannibal S4.

listen I don’t discriminate... friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, enemies to friends to lovers, friends to enemies to lovers, as long as it ends in lovers i’m down with it all babey

Reblog if it is ok if random people can message you to make some friends over here

🦇  Live-Action Bruce Wayne on Film 🦇

Life Update: Balances & Sister-in-Law

Dear dearest friends,

I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to the people who helped me this past month, about my situation. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.❤️❤️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

A lot of you may not know me, but I really appreciate the sweet messages and encouragement that I received. And to some I deeply apologize if I do not respond, to those who become kinda hostile to me towards the situation. Thank you for the reblogs/repost and tagging your friends in spreading my post. Thank you very much. And I am glad that I made friends with most of you as well. You are a life’s blessing 💝💝🙏🙏

I hope everyone is doing alright, despite the world facing the crisis because of Covid-19. Sadly, I am one of those who is greatly affected. Even got infected but I survived. A lost a stable job several months ago and my savings has been drained. I was a working student before in Japan(paying for my tuition & supporting my family), went back home to my homecountry. Because life has been sad to me upon my stay there. Got a job, but the company decided to do retrenchment several months ago, and I was one of the unfortunate employees.

It’s been a month since I posted my letter: Reaching out to you  And like 2 weeks since my second letter: Notice of Eviction & Rescue Thank you for those who helped me. And for the people who is new to this new Letter of mine, please if you have the time. I hope you understand. I know some of you followed me, and as promised I will give update. I have been semi-active in tumblr for these past 2 weeks. Because luckily I was able to get a part-time job but it is only for 2 weeks, until 1st week of March. I worked like 16 hours a day, it is an underpaid job $15. If I work like 8 hours I get a pay of like $7-8/day. In my country you are not paid by hour but by day. Most of the employers though because of cost cutting is not following the standard guidelines of pay stated by our government. And no insurances/benefits. It is better than no job at all, it helps me sustain our daily needs - human & cat food.  I currently live alone. With a dog and many adopted stray cats. Can’t live them dying in the streets. And they are my Furry family. They help me cope with my depression and all.🐱🐶

With the help of everyone’s donation a month has passed I was able to pay for my August 2020 rent. And upon receiving the Notice of Eviction Last Month, I was able to pay the balance from September 2020 to February of this year. Below is the Acknowledgement of Rental Payment, and notarized by the owner.

(Some information is blurred out for privacy, thank you for understanding).

Another update regarding my Electricity Bill I got a new one like 2 weeks ago stating my latest balance. My deepest gratitude for those who donated last time as I was able to pay a partial amount of $250. This is the new latest balance that I need to settle. Sadly, despite the partial payment. I do not have electricity at home now for 3 days now. My kind neighbor lets me connect to their line temporarily. I needed to settle a balance of $1,150(depending on the exchange rate) 😿😿

For the Water Bill, I was able to settle a partial balance of $175 and signed a promisory note. But also needs to be settled soon. As of the moment the amount that needs to be settled is $680(depending on the exchange rate).

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As for my cat Blackie, he is back under my care now and his legs are healed. Thank goodness.🙏🙏 his previous photo(injured photo), is on my first Letter.

I also have a new adopted Cat, and brought him/her home. Still a kitten I will upload the photo on my KoFi. I also uploaded a family of black stray cats that I usually feed at night.

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I am also continuing my every 2 weeks session for my counseling & therapy. I also have to had a major haircut, due to hairloss caused by my extreme pulling - Trichotillomania & stress. I already have a bald spots so it needs to be cut. Goodbye Long Hair - I am loosing my self-confidence. I will just upload the photos on my KoFi. I am also continuing my job applications nonstop, I got interviews but nobody is still calling back to me.

As for my Sister-in-Law & nieces they will be staying with me starting next week. For 2 weeks, I guess. The young ones are still devastated of the situation. I know I have an emotional, mental issues. But I will try my best to help and support them as much as I can.🙏🙏🙏🙏 I am still also paying for the Bank Loan. And they are calling me for updates, I missed a lot of payments for 3 months now. I will try my best to settle it. I still have a long way to go. I hope to get a permanent job soon. $15,000 is killing me. It is still big.🙏🙏🙏🙏 and the person responsible for her accident is already in Jail.

I am still trying to hold-on and be strong to everything. So please….I hope everyone understands my simple plea. No negativities please. And for my long-time friends here in tumblr and who I consider now like my own brothers and sisters, thank you for staying with me. I love you all so much. I deeply ask of you for your patience, understanding and please help me by boosting/reblogging/reposting or donating. I thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart. God Bless you all.

  FOR DONATION PLEASE CLICK 👉👉HERE👈👈 you can also follow me on Ko-FI and Twitter  ————————————————————

For the people on my tags list please let me know if you wish to be removed by sending me a DM. I aplogize in advance. Thank you so much. 🙇‍♀️🙇🙇‍♀️🙇 hugs to you. Please share and reblog. And make this viral. If I double tagged you here, please bear with me. Thank you for understanding. I do not respond quickly, please understand that I might possibly sleeping because of the medicine or extremely exhausted. Thank you. @margaretheavesasigh @kurisutythehero @sharinalein @measurelessdreamer @lemondrop313 @thenotoriousscuttlecliff @calamitysong @6y9brows @timotaychalamet @bebemoon @prinnay @bryd-one-brere @nol-nol @call-of-the-ocean @emelinelove @cosmiccangst @impossiblebeararcade @spacesourcx @hermytheskrub @feelikeimglued @whatamidoingwithmylifeman @hauntedcloudtheorist @danathebestintern @miceoutline43 @underprivilegedcactus @kuinshi @mattygra @lemonadeswift @grantschangelives @sassytravelerstudent @monada43 @lethxl0ve @starstruckeaglepastagoop @motherofallfuckingbombs @psycotheorygirl @grrlboss-azula @that-aro-asshat @lizluvscupcakes @baronmenor @roller-rink-haruno @smoarchok @moondeliight @starkcontrasts @theminiestofmins @animelover7234 @sharingjoys @notyouraveragegirl1 @jbb305​ @professor-meh​ 

Anger

I had a breakdown again earlier today.

Like something hot and red and ugly and just so much hatred with no target to shoot it on. For some reason I thought is this how Jason Todd had felt? Or maybe is this how Bruce Wayne felt once he grew up and realized how on earth does people like Joe Chill can get away with so little and he in that one night, lost everything he knew?

With so much hatred and anger and just this huge hole in your heart that felt more like it was ripped away from you rather than just being taken? Is this how being angry at the world feels like? Angry at everything that has happened? Is this how craving for vengeance feels like?

I remember being told that revenge has a smell and it is sweet, and almost dizzying like an aphrodisiac.

I remember clutching the front of my shirt and felt how stuck my scream felt in my throat and I can’t just scream it out with my brother across the hallway and my sister downstairs.

I can’t do this, I can’t keep this in, I can’t keep on doing this.

I remember a time we were told that the whole family has anger issues.

Dad is a bomb, ticking and ticking with the time always border lining on 0 every time he tries to pushes us too far to the edge and he seems eager for us to push him back in retaliation.

Mom keeps it in until something bad & ugly & stupid & disrespectful happens from us, and there comes the screams and the glares and the disappointment.

My brother’s anger is physical, he hits you and pulls in some punches just to make you hurt the same way he does.

My sister’s anger is physical as well, but in the way it’s childish because still, she is still a child.

More often than not, her anger pushes dad’s clock to 0 as well and that will sometimes reign in Mom’s disappointment and if it isn’t her pushing it to explode, it will be my brother’s idea of rebellious retaliation.

And I’ll stand there.

Just a soldier, standing still in the minefield as the shots keep flying and the bombs kept giving way.

Silence become my defense as it was never really my weapon.

And growing up with the understanding how much power and destruction a bomb can hold, well I know how dangerous a wrath’s path can be.

So, I reign it in. So, I push every single pure, pure anger that threatens to boil to the surface.

My grief sometimes overcome my anger I think, enough so that I forgot that I can be angry sometimes.

My anger, I think, is physical as well.

My anger, I think, is the opposite of who I fights to become.

My anger, I think, is not a bomb, or a silent glare or a bursting scream.

My anger creeps in, my knuckles throb with every poison that rushes through my vein.

I don’t get angry, I don’t, I won’t, I never.

I don’t get angry because if I do, I don’t know how I’ll face the aftermath of it.

I can feel it, when it pulses, when it tries to fight through the restraints. I can feel it when my veins are filled with adrenaline and the want, the need to just, hurt. I can feel it and I know it’s there ‘because I can feel my eyes harden, I can feel my legs muscle constrict with the will to run towards the anger itself, I can feel my grip tightens around on itself ‘because I want to hit and punch and injure and hurt, hurt, hurt.

And I buries it in.

I learn to let out the insults because it soothes the fire but if you’ve been trapping the flames in an oxygen cavity and keep adding to it without ever giving it a chance to see the light of day, a verbal fight does little to calm it.

I learn that after letting out the insults, to give it time, time to turn it into guilt and grief instead.

Dr K thinks that what I’m doing might as well be the equivalent of driving a brake-less car down the hill only to run into an explosion then crashes down into the ocean with nowhere to escape out of the car.

Like letting in the adrenaline rushes through you only to trap everything in and let it consumes you.

I’ve told her that the analogy was exaggerative, I think.

I’ve crashed at the moment now.

I think it’s ironic that I used the rain and the sound of the crashing waves to calm me down.

I hate being angry.

I hate it because it isn’t me but it proves that it’s a primal instinct of mine when I didn’t bother with my mask.

All of us have masks.

I’ve seen Dad used it around his colleagues or when the topic of Grandpa comes up or when Grandma was talking about her time just around the corner.

I’ve seen Mom used it around her ‘friends’, true or not, and I’ve seen it around us when she’s far too tired and she’s far too aware of her greying hair.

I’ve seen my brother using it the most around us, never being able to settle into his skin even with those who he should trust the most.

I’ve seen it with my sister, the way she brushes off any signs of emotional vulnerability other than irritation ‘because she thought everybody would use it as a weapon against her intelligence.

I’ve seen it in the mirror of the 5-star bathroom at school, the one everybody goes to because it’s the only ones that works. Most of the time, anyways.

I’ve seen it on my friends and I’ve seen it crumbles in the anticipation of days leading up to what was the most important event of our lives as high school students back then.

Someone asked me, if I’ve cried it yet, implying if I’ve succumbed to the world-heavy pressure of the future yet. If I’ve sat down and bawled my eyes out as I realized how short on time we always seemed.

I told them, no.

There are a few strays of tears I’ve let past in the days leading up to it but I know if I sat down properly and let it out – I don’t know how much it’ll take for me to stand up again. Or if I’m ever strong enough for it anyways.

I hate grief.

And I hate my anger even more.

And as my vision blurs with the tears in my eyes that I won’t let out, and my knuckles are white as I grip the box holding in the razors tightly – I wish, I wish I never knew how safe and suffocating a mask can feel.  

First OC: Michelle Harleye

I've been trying to find my own style and I'm still trying but hopefully I can get it right soon

(One day, one day, I'll learn how to do digital art hahahahah)

John Boyega at Hyde Park demonstration #BlackLivesMattter

The greatest part of this gif sequence is not the outfits. It's not the dancing. It's not Geralt trying to click his heels together and having an impromptu meeting with the ground.

It's Vesemir walking in at the very end looking like, "Yep, I did this. I raised these jerks. I'm responsible for this. Fuck me."

dynamics of the MCU → Clint Barton & Natasha Romanoff

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS 

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS 

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS

TAROT CARDS ✴ THE WITCHER

This is really nicee

a comic about someone who gets a visit from the reaper a bit sooner than expected, but has someone whos been waiting for them 

Hey, do you like my art? Help support me and buy me a coffee! ko-fi.com/zipper ❤️

I love this very much

when 🦇 go to sleep

Bonus:

If it were not for AIDS, we would all be following Freddie Mercury’s cats on Instagram. F*** Aids.

I can't, I just can't

soft laughs and fond smiles~

The boys we love

The editing is mine but idk who does the pics belongs to so creds to them if you're here