“male Loneliness Epidemic” And “friendzoning” Are Similar Concepts To Me In That The Conditions

I'm literally begging you, please be weird and queer, online and offline if you can, I want you to live life being as fascinating as possible

you'll only be alive for so long, please spend some time being odd

More queer people need to know that discrimination against intersex people isn't just bigots being bigots. It's rooted in the fact we live in a world that rejects our existence at a fundamental level.

There's only M or F on every job application.

There's only a M or F on every government form.

There's only M or F on everyone's birth certificate.

There's only M or F in everyone's mind.

Even in queer spaces, people ask if you are AMAB or AFAB. Terms borrowed from our community, then simply reduced back to M or F.

When you go to a doctor, they ask if you are M or F, regardless of how your body actually works. Any anatomy or traits you have that does not fit your M or F designation is met with pity or disgust.

You're seen as M* or F*, an aberration of what is "normal", a faulty M or faulty F, a body with a problem.

The intersex experience is being constantly reminded people believe I don't exist.

wear robes do magic serve cunt

Listen. The Picture of Dorian Gray should not be hard to adapt. Drag Ben Whishaw or Nick Hoult or somebody out of the opium dens to play Lord Henry, it's not as if we're strapped for gorgeous dissolute twinks. Kidnap 20-year-old Heath Ledger from the year 1999 to play Dorian. Summon the ghost of Pier Paolo Pasolini from Hell and tell him that if he doesn't direct another indescribably awful gay arthouse pornohorror, the fascists will win. And - this is crucial - make it gay, but in the worst way possible. I want it to set the discourse back 15 years. People should walk out of the theater asking if gay marriage should be legal.

It simply is not that difficult.

quite literally the only day you can rb this the last one was 2005

not to keep harping on this but if you HATE shaving your body or any other part of your "beauty routine": stop doing it. just stop doing it, at least for a little while (maybe when you don't have a lot going on if that helps) and HONESTLY gauge how it makes you feel. is this feeling better or worse than the amount of time, stress, and money the routine takes? do YOU actually prefer how you looked before, or are you only worried about what others think? if you stopped doing the routine forever, could you find other ways to feel better about yourself with that energy?

when I was like 19 and the idea of not shaving my legs anymore first occurred to me (bc I had a Cool Progressive Boyfriend that Didn't Care) i just stopped and it was immediately like... a quantifiably large chunk of unnecessary anxiety just sloughed off my life forever. instantaneously I got rid a bunch of effort and stress I had been accepting as normal, and replaced it with more time to do what actually made me feel 'ready' in the morning, like hygiene, coffee, preparing for my activities etc.

and i DONT feel self conscious about body hair personally but even if I did, no amount of shame over hair could outweigh how much easier my life is. not just bc 'shaving annoying' or 'long showers' or whatever, but like. yeah I don't waste as much time getting ready anymore, and I also don't have to realize last minute before some leg-showing event that im unfit for display and have a whole self-esteem plummeting anxiety attack about whether I should rush it unsafely and risk being late, cut up, and stressed out before the event, or go With Hair and feel judged the whole time. i don't have to go through any of those emotions and when anyone does comment on my hair rudely, im in a much healthier place to deal with it and tell them to fuck off rather than validate THEIR fucked up standards by feeling bad.

once I realized I didn't give a shit and neither did anyone I cared about, it also gave me the freedom to cut out a bunch of other shit I was only doing (or Thinking I Should) bc it was what girls Have To Do to be presentable. fuck shaving fuck waxing fuck eyebrow shaping fuck concealer fuck multi step skincare fuck shapewear fuck lip fillers fuck contouring fuck teeth whitening fuck all of it, you do not need to change ANYTHING about how you look Every Single Day.

for those of you about to say "but I like being shaven/wearing makeup/literally pulling hair out of my face painfully every day etc etc etc":

have fun and mod your avatar all you want but for gods sake if you hate it and complain about how long it takes and all the stuff you "have" to buy or do just to "get ready" - you do not have to. you're not just having fun. you are not getting Ready, you are making your mood and experience worse for yourself, which is going to make you feel unready and unprepared for actually being yourself comfortably.

Fr I need to have more confidence irl 😔

imma do some trans vent post here lol

the only transphobia I do is to myself 😎

Saeed Jones, How We Fight For Our Lives

sometimes being queer is mourning. you transition and you mourn the girl you thought you were but never could have been. you mourn the parents that loved her and are silent towards you, you echo “i love you” back and forth but you know it only goes one way because you can’t love someone you refuse to see. you use slang with your brother so he calls you “bro” and it feels like a participation trophy for a game you wish you weren’t playing. your extended family tells you you’re shaping up to be a lovely young lady. you sit in a men’s medium buttondown and nod at them, say thank you, and pray they don’t make you go to another girl’s only brunch. “you make sacrifices for the people you love” they claim, but what have they sacrificed for you? money? you do not feel safe when with people anymore. you do not feel anything when you are alone. you are numb with grief for a life that could have been if you were not the one living it

I don't think you know true dedication until you spend 5 hours in a dilapidated train station waiting for the first train because of a metal concert