Considering Ripping/stabbing It Apart, And Using Its Insides To Stuff Up My Old Teddy Bear Again....

Even ignoring my dysphoria, mental illness, and the general state of the world and society, you know what really makes me want to end it all?

My memory loss due to depression. One of the main functions of our brain and it just doesn't work. Some of my core memories are gone or severely altered. My short term memory is absolute shit. And this is all permanent.

I'm about to turn 20, only 20, and I already have a massive setback compared to my peers. All due to being born into incredibly shitty circumstances that I never stood a chance against. *that* is what makes me really want to end it all. To physically feel my mind, and to extend, body deteriorating. Being suicidal, and by extension, if I actually were to do it.. it is absolutely not a choice. I don't want to die, especially not this young. I'm supposed to have an entire life ahead of me.

Except, I kinda don't. And either way I don't want it with this body and mind.

My most toxic trait is thinking "there's people far worse than me" is a legitimate excuse. Like it really is in my opinion. But for some reason that seems a way of toxic thinking and now I'm feeling conflicted

If you tell a trans man that you don't trust him because he is a man and you think men are untrustworthy, you are directly saying you would be more comfortable around him if he stayed in the closet.

''trans lesbians don't have heterosexual privilege"

Oh

As someone who fought tooth and nail for my transition, I sometimes need American trans people to respectfully shut up. Like what do you mean you came out one day then started hrt 6 months later? Get out of my sight

“Stop isolating yourself from reality” well tell reality to stop sucking

And people forget how recent it was that it became socially acceptable for women to be not traditionally feminine. I'd argue it has only been in the past 10 years or so(and that's stretching it majorly), it has become socially acceptable for women to be traditionally masculine, or for girls to act "boy-ish". It really wasn't that long ago

"No one cares if women / transmascs / afab people wear pants and boy clothes!!!"

On my knees begging you to talk to people who grew up in religious fundamentalist communities and high control groups / cults

I hate such a love-hate relationship with public transit

Dear capitalism,

buying anything besides groceries makes me physically sick

beat that

it is what it is (i want to die so bad)