Latest Posts by jane-of-almost-all-trades - Page 5

Conclusion: someone at the UU ships toxic yaoi. Probably the Senior Wrangler.

(From what we know about wizards, any possible couple that might find themselves under mistletoe will inevitably be toxic)

"Tell me, Senior Wrangler, we never invited any women to the Hogswatchnight Feast, did we?"

"Of course not, Archchancellor," said the Senior Wrangler. He looked up in the dust-covered rafters, wondering what had caught Ridcully's eye. "Good heavens, no, they'd spoil everything, I've always said so."

"So why, every year, do we hang a damn great bunch of mistletoe up there?"

"well, er... it's... well, it's... it's symbolic, Archchancellor."

(scenes from Hogfather feat. the Senior Wrangler NOT beating the allegations)

About the last one: Willy Wonka did say it was for children who had little pocket money. And as far as we know, he didn’t make other types of everlasting candy, so he would still get a lot of profit from all his other products while also earning points towards his public image.

Tired of fiction lying to me about food things

Turkish delight is NOT delicious or even remotely palatable, let alone good enough to sell your family to an evil witch for.

A spoonful of sugar does NOT help the medicine go down, in fact it makes it much much worse because now you have a mouthful of hard-to-swallow medicine flavoured sugar-goo. 0/10 do not recommend.

An everlasting gobstopper is a TERRIBLE business idea. there's absolutely no profit to be made there.

”and then they woke up and realised none of it was real” is the most pathetic way to end a story ever. If I find a worse one, I’ll inform y’all.

Publisher: Okay, look, I appreciate your creative approach, but have you considered that a book for children about befriending a local bird flock probably should not be named “My First Murder”?

Me: But it’s not just about some bird flock. It’s about a murder of crows. That’s the term. We’re supposed to educate our children, right?

finally finished my Padme costume database! Now has concept art, deleted scenes, behind the scenes photos, exhibition pics, promo pics and all of her animated TCW outfits! there are over 150 slides of refs in total <3

LINK and a sneaky peek below

I didn’t vote in the poll, but… A Study in Scarlet! When it all started! Right on the same day! It’s probably a weird reason to be excited, but I am!

That’s really such a cool idea! But consider: Han does have the Force (he’s definitely not as strong as most Jedi but there’s plenty of hints in the canon that his connection is above average). And while trying to teach Rey by Luke’s notes, he slowly realises that some of this religious nonsense might actually have something to do with reality??? Suddenly something about perception of reality or stuff is starting to make sense??? And of course he hates it so much, he gets angry, he starts actively trying some of the stuff out just to prove to himself that it doesn’t work, but it works??? And now he hates it even more??? He tries to forget all this, get away from it, but once he felt it, there’s no way of unfeeling it. All these little feelings that helped him navigate through the most unnavigable areas of the galaxy turned out to be that stupid religion, and there’s nothing he can do about it. But maybe these monks just found some methods to strengthen those little absolutely-not-some-supernatural-force feelings and made up some kind of universal power just to give them an explanation, the same way any other religion starts. And since these feelings are of absolutely normal nature and are really useful to him, he might as well try out these training techniques. As long as he doesn’t let this religion thing fool him, right? Now, Rey, where were we? Ah yes, energy field. Whatever. You might as well sit down and try to find it, it’s not like we have anything else to do.

Me and my friend had some fun trying to rewrite the sequel trilogy a while ago and I think the best idea we had was Luke dies and Han and Rey get stranded on some nowhere planet where he has to haphazardly attempt to teach her years of jedi training in like a week entirely by reading out of Luke’s notes (somehow even worse than Luke’s extremely DIY training in the OT).

This isn’t at all based on the ‘Han has the force’ theory it’s literally just crabby atheist old man Han Solo and his dead best friend’s religious texts that are totally useless to him vs the world.

i LOVE that, disney needs to get you two rewriting the sequels STAT

(commission info // tip jar!)

"just turn on the computer" "just create a file" bold of you to assume I won’t turn on the computer, open PowerPoint, create a file, type in the title and then procrastinate on actually making the presentation by choosing the background color and the fonts for half an hour

I seem to have gotten the same curse

Apparently I am cursed to get the best ideas for writing in only 3 places:

1. While I'm in the shower, getting ready in the morning

2. While I'm in bed, trying to fall asleep

3. While I'm sitting in class, and listening to the most boring explanations I have ever heard

Sometimes my brain’s like “hey, here, out of nowhere, a name that’s absolutely perfect for your character!" But most times it’s like "no. nope. this one sounds ugly. this one doesn’t feel like her. this one spells ugly. this one’s nice but transliterates awfully. she doesn’t look like this one. I hate this one for no reason. This one’s good but I already have a character named like this in the same work"

Also for me it’s certainly not the single most stressful part, but it is a special kind of stress to have someone on your character list who is just a description without a name. I’m not even talking about actually writing someone yet unnamed.

why is it that naming characters is the single most stressful part of writing? i’ll spend weeks drafting intricate plots and creating entire fake histories for countries, but the moment i have to name someone, my brain is like, 'uhhhh… kevin?' i can’t have my epic fantasy hero named kevin! but then i overthink it and end up with something like arithalas drakemourn, which sounds like a bad d&d oc. there is no winning.

I love this, I want this to be true

I like to imagine that Sam Vimes, instead of dying properly, instead got minor godhood. All watchmen at some point thank him for his actions, his actions a ripple across the Disc. There's precedent in the Duchess of Borogravia, and in his arc. He keeps getting promotions, and hates each one. What higher status could he be unwillingly raised to than divinity, eternally watching the watchman?

Anyways, that's just a headcanon i've got

Nothing will ever be as horrifying to me as Sam Vimes organizer rattling down the timeline of the fall of Ankh-Morpork and the death of the guard members, one by one, including the typically unkillable protagonists Vimes and Carrot. I can still remember the deep existential dread of then

You are a monster!!

And you a lawyer, "nobody is perfect" 🩸🦇

If you think that you’re a horrible person and no one will ever love you, just remember that there are certain BrBa fans out there shipping themselves with Tuco Salamanca and he’s practically as bad a person as humanly possible

This just happened to me today… again

Except that it wasn’t even a lyric, it was just a vibe

Suit jackets in the past: here’s space for your wallet, your notepad, your newspaper, your pipe, your knife, your gun, your backup gun, your axe, your sword, your bow

Suit jackets now: here are two little flaps on your waist just to represent the idea of pockets

I think my main problem with modern clothing is that nothing's got volume anymore. Like historically there's been so much clothing that's just BIG, bulky, meant to be flashy and volumnous and not look like it was just spray painted on the body. I mean yeah I do wear skinny jeans on purpose but what if instead of a hoodie I wanted to wear a big fuck-off fancy little purely decorational off-the shoulder cape? Consider:

Big brimmed hat, big boots, skinny jeans, t-shirt and a big wide short cloak that covers up like half of me. Not for any body image reasons or other insecurities. I just think that if I wished, I should be able to discreetly conceal carry a small dog.

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "their platonic relationship in the source material is far more dynamic and complex than the sanitized personalities they gain as a result of shipping" way

Anyway if you see this you have to reblog and tag with a delight from ur day -- even the littlest thing counts

Behind the scenes pics are the cinema equivalent of final bows in theatre as both say "hey, it’s okay, all of this was made up, we all are actually alive, healthy, happy, we all are friends & had a lot of fun, it’s so cool that you like us"

reblog with one creative goal that you would like to pursue in 2025 in the tags

it doesn’t have to be ‘big’ and there is no pressure to complete said goal. but i’d love to hear from writers, artists, performers, academics, designers, coders, and so on! 🤍

if it’s a creative outlet, it’s included. let’s inspire each other ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

All hail deep, eternal friendship and Professor Tolkien who showed us such good examples of it

I think one of the great things about the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Hobbit as well is the fact that while historically the most moving relationships in a narrative are usually romantic or familial. The Lord of the Rings is one long treatise in praise of friendship. The nearest relatives in the Fellowship are cousins. The parent-child relationships and the variation of uncle-wards that is Theoden and his sister's children are fraught with dysfunction. If we set aside the periphery relationships like Sam and the Gaffer and Beregond and Bergil there is upheaval in all the parent child relationships.

But friendship now that is wholesome and exemplified in all the races. For men there is Eomer and Boromir and their bonds with Aragorn. Hobbits of course speak for themselves throughout the whole trilogy and the Hobbit. There is mourning for lack of connection between Mirkwood and Lorien for the elves. A yearning for renewed friendship. And of course the standout friendship of them all for its unlikeliness if for no other reason. Legolas and Gimli. A friendship so fast and secure that Legolas cannot consider leaving Middle Earth for his rightful place in the west without bringing Gimli with him. A dwarf. The race that was not meant to be made and certainly no dwarf has ever been even near the undying lands and Legolas knows this.

The fact that friendship can be just as eternal as a marriage vow or the bonds of blood is something that doesn't get a lot of coverage in literature and yet it permeates the life of all the heroes in The Lord of the Rings. From Aragorn to Samwise

So…

Per the design of the opening credits Breaking Bad is abbreviated as BrBa, which is bromine-barium…

This should mean that Better Call Saul, which is abbreviated as BCS, is boron-carbon-sulfur. Or, you know, it would be if this show had anything to do with chemistry.

Neither one makes sense as a chemical compound anyway.

I outgrew Harry & Ron & Hermione… And Alisa Seleznyova… And the Pevensies… And Kalle Blomkvist…

*sheds a tear*

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

Whenever I carry a big heavy duffel bag, I feel like a BrBa/BCS character delivering a load of cash from immoral criminal activity, while in reality I’m on a (much more) noble mission to get a month’s worth of recyclable waste to the not-local-enough recycling centre

“where do you get your ideas?”

me: *gestures vaguely to the chaos in my brain*

Yes! I’m also tired of these jokes. Stop mocking Éowyn, she was just trying to make a nice gesture. It’s not even like she was responsible for feeding everyone and failed, it wasn’t her task or job.

I think my least favorite overused joke in the lotr fandom is the fact that Éowyn can’t cook well. And I don’t even it in the fashion of perpetuating the idea that women should cook, but just like thinking about it logically…. She really never had a need to cook herself before making their way to Helm’s Deep. I mean think about it, she’s royalty, so she hasn’t ever had to cook herself. And say even despite the royal blood that her mom cooked, she died when Éowyn was young so there wasn’t much time for her to learn from her mom. Let my girl live🙏🙏