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TRUTH! ⬆️⬆️

Sometimes I forget that art is supposed to be fun, that the whole reason I’m doing it is because I enjoy it.

I think it’s really important for me to regularly remind myself (and all you artists!) that art is first and foremost for yourself. You don’t have to stick to a style, you don’t have to do what other people are doing, you just do it and it’s fun. I think I personally get very caught up with what other people want, and it’s a habit I’m trying to break myself out of.

So here’s me reminding myself and everyone to have fun with what you do and hoping everyone has a happy and great day :)

apparently he was 12 when he became stuff of legends… 

Ace / Aro visibility in Bojack Horseman! It’s great to not only see an ace main character in the show, but an entire ace community filled with people with different ace experiences. I like how the writers included a scene that explained some of the nuances of asexuality / aromanticism, as it helps break the stereotype that no ace would ever want to enter a relationship. One thing I would comment on is that asexual means “not experiencing sexual attraction” over “not interested in sex.” It’s possible to be a sex-positive asexual!

oh ya I never uploaded my final version of the sketch!! 

Drawing Link makes me so happy :’)

I wanted to do something for Asexual Awareness Week. Wanted to show appreciation by posing with the two characters that have grown with me over the years: Syre and Tyberius. They are an asexual couple who have had ups and downs and are completely comfortable with one another through a very close friendship. I have other ace characters but I wanted to showcase these two more since they have a very special place in my heart. 

I’ve identified as ace/aro for most of my life. I didn’t really understand what it was until recently when I heard the term asexual. For the longest time I felt weird and out of place among all my friends, who were experiencing romantic and sexual attraction, and I wasn’t. I was never interested in a relationships and  anytime someone showed that interest I would get really uncomfortable and uneasy. How people would always tell me “You just haven’t met the right person yet,” or “You’re a late bloomer, you’ll change your mind.”

Now I understand what it means to be ace/aro, that I can love platonically and that’s okay. Friendships are more special to me than romance or sex. That I don’t find people attractive in the slightest. Coming out to my parents was a little hard since they didn’t understand what it was (and they still don’t). But my parents show their support the best way they can and I am also surrounded by positive people who I can call friends. Friends that respect me and my orientation. So I thank you friends (you know who you are :D). I love you guys with all my little heart and in my own special way.

kids shouldn’t be fighting your wars

Emotional Abuse can turn every day interactions into problems.

I have had a recent experience while in training for my new job and I thought I might express some thoughts about it.

The woman who has been training me is sweet and I like her, but her methods of critique and helping me get things correct is a bit…harsh from my perspective. And she’s not trying to be at all. She is really trying to help.

However, emotional abuse taints the perception and actions of a victim even years after abuse. And the worst part is that each victim’s experience is varied. The stereotypes of abuse we see in our media is just that: a stereotype. Abuse comes in many forms and each individual will have different triggers. However, abusers do have some commonalities, usually by being controlling or will get violent over little, silly or normal things.

I figured it would help to re-frame the way she approached it and maybe some people out there will consider this in the future. We obviously can’t know someone’s history and often you can’t pick out an abuse victim from a crowd. But to help avoid triggering emotional distress and protective behaviors, I think people aught to at least be aware and maybe avoid the following approaches when teaching or instructing someone else. ____________________________________________________

Over correcting a former victim can come off as a bit over-bearing, especially when their abuser was extremely controlling. Mine (who happened to be my mother) was not a very nurturing type. So when she would try to teach me how to do something, if I did it wrong during the first try she would often just take over. And it wasn’t like, “Oh sweetie let me do it.” No, I was more shoved out of the way by an agitated/angry parent who complained that I was unable to complete the task.

Behaviors over correcting caused: -Hesitating to help someone with a task unless they give permission. -Emotional distress and agitation when being corrected on every task, shot etc.

Things to change: -Correct when things need to be early on in training, gently. Let the person training do the task so they learn it properly. -If possible, let a few oopsie’s slide and inform the person of their mistake and NEXT time try to correct it (as long as this is applicable.) Don’t correct too much in front of customers or clients unless it’s important to do so.

While my co-worker was well meaning, she would often ask me to stop and look at the picture I had just taken (I am a photographer) and to think about what was wrong with it.

“Now stop here, and look at that picture. Think about it. What’s wrong with it?” Is a pretty close phrasing to what she used. To someone who had a healthy upbringing or no exposure to abuse would never consider how that might affect someone who has.

Growing up in an emotionally abusive household where being wrong was met with agitation, yelling or screaming, this means that phrase creates a deer in the headlights reaction from me. I won’t think because the only thing I know in that moment is that I did something wrong. While I know now I won’t face violent tantrums in response, that reaction is still ingrained in my head. So instead of getting a productive response, it reinforces the negative one.

Behaviors caused by not allowing the victim to be wrong sometimes: -Victim will freeze up when confronted about doing something wrong and shut down. -May bring back a defensive persona and/or victim will shut down or experience severe emotional distress.

Things to change: -When a person in training gets something wrong, inform them in a gentle manner. “Ope, looks like you have a stray collar there. Let’s do that one more time.” Or “We can’t see her arm in the shot. Bring that back around.” Avoid asking them to point out the mistake if you can as this puts the spotlight on their them and reinforces the negative reaction and can cause an emotional shut down.

Day 6: Saria

A day late because I felt like shit yesterday so get two inktobers today

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