TRUTH.

Okay but Romantic poets coffeeshop au:

The shop is co-owned by Wordsworth and Coleridge. It’s an open secret that Wordsworth’s sister Dorothy is the one actually keeping the place in business.

Byron writes his phone number on a customer’s cup at least twenty times a week. He has slept with approximately 67% of the people currently inside the coffeeshop on any given day. The percentage continues to rise.

It’s been seven years and no one still has worked out whether or not Wordsworth and Coleridge are sleeping together. Are they a couple? Are they intense platonic friends? Are they literal partners in crime who have robbed multiple banks together? No one knows.

Byron asked Wordsworth once and Wordsworth started declaiming the entirety of Paradise Lost in answer. Opinion is still out on if that was a yes.

Shelley starts dating the sister of one of the customers Byron slept with after she swings by to collect her forgotten purse and shoes. Her name is Mary and she has just as many opinions as Shelley and everyone thinks they’re great together. Byron definitely isn’t jealous.

The ghost of William Blake swoops down from the rafters to shriek in approval every time someone refers to coffee as ‘the Devil’s brew.’ Once enterprising six-year-old Dante Gabriel Rossetti figures this out, it becomes a daily occurrence.

The shop is most famous for Coleridge’s pot brownies, which they are legally not licensed to sell but which keep finding their way into customers’ pockets regardless. 

John Keats is the new guy who likes to make really intricate latte art and keeps burning himself by spilling hot coffee on his hands and then making it worse by refusing to just drop the cup. Shelley takes him under his wing after they bond over their shared love of Gilmore Girls. Byron definitely isn’t jealous.

Keats just has a lot of feelings about Lorelai, okay?

I did this at midnight excuse how dark it is I’m just EXCITED

This is the first time I’ve ever been able to wear the jacket since I started it in 2018 I’m fully crying over here 😭

Accounting majors who hurt you

Art by Vitkaninn

This may be because I'm a homosexual, but I would very much like to learn how to fight with a sword.

university is ALSO just *goes to bathroom* *stress cleans to avoid homework* *buys on sale bread* *peace sign in mirror while bawling your eyes out at 3am* *always has a cold* *glasses r fogged up* *granola bars* *falls asleep in class* *does laundry* *staples something* *takes an ibuprofen* *listens to the same song for 3 days straight* *no free seats at the library*  *checks phone to see how long until class ends but forgets to actually look at the time* *naps* *regrets nap* *microwaves something* *has crisis about major* *contemplates dropping out every other week* *buys toilet paper*

But did they really brake the wheel?

For all my writers struggling with weaponry of the sword variety. 

It’s going to be a bad night.