You open it and find...
Brown craft paper with colorful ribbons
Large glossy blue bag
Bright red & gold gift bag
Compact gold & black box
Large newsprint & raffia box
Tiny purple & silver bag
Cheerful yellow heavy box
White gift bag topped with red ribbons
Brown gift bag with green tissue
Heavy large tan bag tied with green ribbon
Small iridescent box tied in gold ribbon
(ranging from non-existent to a single outline to drabbles to ficlets to 60,000+ word WIP)
Updated as of July 2022
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~ ~ Full List Below The Cut ~ ~
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Bruce Wayne is Scared of Bats. This is a Canon Fact.
In a difference from canon, Batman pretends to actually BE a bat man.
(Again, “Loading and Aspect Ratio” by JUBE514 situation with fake wings. Please go read it I love it so much.)
Bruce turns himself into a physical manifestation of his personal worst nightmares, and sets out to be a street cryptid. People see him flinching from bright lights and loud noises (he hasn’t slept in three days and he really hates guns) twitching weirdly (testing his wings function/stimming) not fully understanding human social niceties (you cannot tell me this man isn't Autistic) and, duh, wings, and go ah yes this being is Inhuman.
However, people KNOW Brucie Wayne™ is petrified of bats. There was an incident at a party when one flew through a window, another at a zoo, there was this one time Manbat showed up and he practically teleported away. No one saw him for a whole month, even after Batman had captured Manbat. (He got injured in the fight.)
By extension, this means that Bruce Wayne is afraid of Batman. Just- absolutely terrified of him. No ones seen them in the same place. Ever. Bruce Wayne actually publicly refuses to even believe in the cryptid for YEARS past when he's already been proven to exist.
When the Justice League gets called in to protect Bruce and his smattering of children from some plot (batman conspicuously absent, despite Gotham being his territory) Bruce straight up tells the league that he doesn’t believe in Batman, and he feels much safer with “real heroes” rather than “a urban legend spawned from overdramatic furries and gang wars.”
The justice league is, obviously, confused.
Certified little shits Dick, Jason, and Tim, (because we’re going with JUBE514’s canon and jason doesn’t die they’re all brothers f off-)
ANYWAYS: Certified Little Shits Dick, Jason, and Tim, ready for chaos/solidifying secret identities: “Don’t worry! We believe in batman! We saw him!” :D
They then proceed to tell the justice league that Bruce HAS met Batman, but he has a phobia of bats, so when Batman saved them at a gala Bruce screamed so loud and shrill he threw off the bat-hearing and then punched batman in the face so hard he knocked him out cold, grabbed then-baby Jason and ran. (Nightwing and the second Robin had to HEROICALLY rescue a dazed Batman, Dick saw it with his own eyes!)
Bruce was so scared of the bat coming to take revenge that he jumped at every shadow for a whole month. Why, Jason, (who was younger then) had slept in Bruce's bed to keep him safe! (Dick is crooning about his cute little brother. Jason, who is hitting his growth spurt and not a little kid anymore, is infinitely embarrassed.) Right now, Brucie has settled into firmly denying Batman’s entire existence so that he can sleep soundly at night.
“Why is he so scared of bats?” The Justice League is wondering. Oh, they are so glad they asked!
“Alfred told us a story once,” Dick says, eyes wide and innocent as he prepares to lie through his fucking teeth, “that when Bruce was little, really little, he got trapped in a cave filled with bats, and his dad had to come rescue him. Apparently, Little Bruce had been crying about a massive bat, even bigger than he was, with glowing red eyes and human hands and (gasp) wait oh my goodness gracious what if that was the BATMAN :0”
“The baby batman.” Jadon adds.
“Batboy?” Tim wonders.
“Alfred, do you think Bruce met Batman when they were little?” Dick asks.
“I believe,” Alfred “the greatest enabler” Pennyworth hums, offering fresh baked scones to thier gleeful audience, “that Master Bruce referred to what he saw as ‘the bat king’ and reported seeing him outside his window several times over the years.”
“Maybe it really was him! Will you ask Batman for us?” Tim asks, already planning to hack the watchtower cameras and set up some popcorn with his brothers.
The Justice League, who have learned more about the Batman in one conversation than they have over MANY years of working together, tell the Wayne children that it will be their Genuine Pleasure to quiz batman on his interactions with BRUCIE WAYNE who has, apparently, laid batman out cold with one punch.
Alfred adds on that he personally thinks the Batman is being rather courteous to Master Bruce, as “bat king” sightings were after “difficult times” and he doesn’t come near the manor otherwise, as robin had been the one to return some stolen family heirlooms that one time they were stolen. He calls the batman and his robins “polite young gentlemen” and then leaves.
But now the gears are turning in the justice leagues heads. Batman? Courteous? Polite? Batman is not Courteous or Polite. Not unless something else is going on.
Now. From their point of view. Batman lives in the cave systems under the richest houses in Gotham, Phantom of the Opera style, hiding his meta form (because this batman is playing cryptid really well. Maybe he was a mutant baby of some Rich Gothamites, who threw him into the caves in shame!) He’s been watching Bruce Wayne, likely as he struggled with the highly reported on demise of his parents, seeing the effects that crime had on the boy that fell into his cave all those years ago. Batman has always been so protective of children, so hateful of guns, obviously the Wayne tragedy is part of what motivates him. He loves Gotham dearly, territorial of it to the point of keeping other heroes out, and yet he breaks that rule here, for Gotham's prince, solely for Bruce’s comfort.
Bruce, another person who obviously loves the city of Gotham just as much, putting millions into charity and relief efforts. Who is clearly very protective of his children, even if he usually has no spine, to the point of attacking his greatest fear to keep then safe, and good enough to land a hit, even. (Bruce Wayne is also considerably attractive.)
Its all so clear to the Justice League: Batman is madly in love with Bruce Wayne. Has been for years. To the point of watching him sleep, on occasion. How very tragic! Batman, in love with someone he can never be with! Not only would it paint a massive target on Bruce’s back if they ever did get together- there’s no questioning what Gotham villains would do if they discovered this, (and denying himself love out of an attempt to keep others safe is EXACTLY the kind of self-sacrificing nonsense Batman would pull) But Batman can’t even truly see the man he’s in love with without Brucie running screaming! Well, the poor guy… how sad…
This conclusion can be supported by the following evidence-
Batman’s first appearance being right after Bruce Wayne returned to Gotham. Was the bat following him to protect him in those missing years? Or maybe he decided to clean up the city now that his beloved had returned?
Batman always being seen near where Bruce is. He’s never once been at the watchtower when Bruce has a public appearance- he must be watching over him, a silent guardian in case someone gets it in their head to kidnap Gotham’s Prince.
Batman insisting that Bruce is innocent in a corporate scheme, despite evidence to the contrary. (Hes right in the end, of course, but they’ve never seen him ignore evidence so clear.)
Batman casually referencing Wayne Tech/Foundation inner workings- he keeps an eye on them, of course. (If he can’t be close to the object of his affections, the league reasons, of course he’d make sure that Bruce’s company and projects are on the right track)
Nightwing, when asked, confirms the Bruce Punching Batman story. He says “honestly I think B was impressed! Caught him off guard!” (Since when does Batman lower his guard? Only when he’d be… distracted, perhaps…)
Superman saves Bruce, who thanks him with a kiss on the cheek. Later, justice league was teasing Clark, batman huffs and leaves the room. He’s CLEARLY jealous! Superman feels just awful!
Batman inexplicably knowing social dances/high society manners- he must have learned by watching (stalking) bruce! He can navigate high profile talk if he wants to, he just doesn’t want to most of the time. but if the situation calls for it he can talk like the Richest of Pricks in a way that only comes with observation.
Batman bristling when some of the league members start making Comments on Brucie Wayne’s Physical Attributes. (Jealousy? Defensiveness? Perhaps… embarrassment at GL’s detailed explanation on what he’d do with a chance in bed with Brucie.)
Batman absolutely freezing up when confronted with any of the above evidence. (He’s trying SO HARD not to laugh/go tell his kids)
Dick/Jason being big enough to wear the Bat-wings rather than thier own and be convincing- they save Bruce, though the man passes out (from fear? Blood loss from an injury? Perhaps- he is faking) and Dick/Jason, either out of genuine concern for their dad or general “how can i stir the pot” chaos, gently strokes his hair away from his face in an act of compassion that the cameras just so happen to catch. (There’s a few tears shed in the justice league- poor batman! He can’t be with his love!)
The robins (in both identities) telling the justice league that they've seen batman watching him.
“oh yeah he does background checks on aaaaaall bruces conquests. Had a conniption when brucie found a mafia boss that one time.”
“And when he found out Bruce and Two-face had a fling!”
(The league notes that often, if a criminal gets too close to Brucie, they’re put away not long after. B is usually collecting evidence. But it looks like angry Batman wanted them to get the hell away from his mans.)
The Justice League is swooning over this tragic, forbidden love story. Batman is a little creepy but hey. He apparently grew up in a cave system. Its a wonder he's as well adjusted as he is. Batman has their sympathy, he seems less unflappable/untouchable, they’re a little more understanding with him now. Superman is all too happy to be a rebound, if needed. There are magic users offering glamour spells. Hal is making exposure therapy innuendos.
The robins can’t believe how lucky they got. They’re def grounded but B can’t be too mad bc his secret identity is FUKIN SET.
Alfred is rather proud of Batman's new nickname in the league being “the bat king” and keeps sending batman along with cookies. The league thinks Batman is checking up on bruce with his butler. Its a mess.
Eventually, Batman loses a bet to one of his kids. Committing to the Bit with an exasperated sigh (he’s definitely not having fun, shut up jason.)
He admits to his crush.
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
It was during on of Riddler's infamous hide and seek with his all his ? Trophiess hiding in odd places in gotham, each having a piece of the code and the whereabouts of riddler and the hostages that will harm in 2 hours if batman and the batfam didn't find them all.
Only half way through the hunt, Riddler's announcement was interrupted.
"Oh second cousin twice removed Eddd!!! We respecting your privacy by delining to the family reunion letter we sented you but asserting my role as the older second cousin and bringing you to the reunion anyways!" Said a loud voice and the sound of some statics sounds and the multiples of female and males voices.
"-'m in the middle of something importan-."
"Nonsense, Dad made two containers Extra fudge swirl with almonds with the edible white chocolate ?s that you like, you're coming with us or not?" Said a bargaining male voice..
.....
.....
"...Fine, Danny but I want 4 more containers. Batman, I'ma take a rain check, the hostages are in Gotham Cathedral, hanging about with a timer attached to to the top of them." Riddler's voice sighed as the video cut off.
...
"Did you know he has a distant cousin, batman..?" Tim said a bit concerned by the lack of response, after they has check Riddler's hideout and there was no way of getting in without disactivating the traps set for them..
just having some fun with interesting fantasy imagery! Give it a reblog, if you play, please? And tell me WHY you picked what you picked if you want?
You know what would be hilarious.
Trans Batman accidentally convincing Gotham that the batclan are like clownfish.
This is helped along when Red Hood comes onto the scene and is later also revealed to be a batclan member.
What if when Tim went off to look for Batman when he was lost in time he bumped into Phantom.
They made a Deal
Phantom knowing CW helped him find Bruce and how to get him back safely, Phantom in return for reasons (hurt badly & recovering, or evolving in power) needed someone very ecto-contaminated (Ra's fault) like Tim, to be contained in.
From a magic user point of view, knowing very little of the GZ and how they work, Tim made a very powerful Deal with a powerful death being (High Ghost King Phantom: Hello!) and is now somehow pregnant (not really but they don't know that)
Danny while inside Tim inside his core can still hear the world outside normally and can share his emotions with Tim to communicate. Which looks a lot like Tim is speaking to his belly just like expecting parents do.
This could be angst or crack
or
my personal favourite, different genres for different pov's
Tim's would be happy, just regular getting his life back together being a total BAMF, coming of age type of vibe
The rest of the Batfam and other heroes pov would be angst, paranormal, psychological horror.
Misunderstandings galore
Dick regretting heavily his decisions which caused Tim to run away because he did not believe him and he has many Regrets.
Bruce feeling guilty that Tim felt the need to make such a decision as to make a Deal and end up pregnant just to bring him back.
Meanwhile the magic users have told the other heroes about Tim's situation and now think that he's going to give birth to the child of a very powerful death being and if something happens to Tim to risk the baby it would cause all of their worlds destruction.
so pretty much-
Tim-Girl Boss, Gatekeep, Gaslight
Batfam- Much Angst
Others- *panicked chicken noises*
~
Just an Idea
Name/s - Void, Lies Age - 20+ Pronouns - Mx Xe/Xem/Xer, Ze/Zim/Zir, Voi/Void/Voids, 1stpp - I/I'm = K/K'm, Me = Ki, My = Kai, Mine = Kaine, Myself = Kaiself, https://en.pronouns.page/@Lie418
123 posts