Lost-coffedemon - Lost

Can I come over?

Can you hold me closer?

Can I crawl in your bed?

And lay down my head?

To get some rest,

On your shoulder or chest!

'cause I feel a bit shaky,

but you feel like safety.

My thoughts are in a rush,

and everything feels way too much.

You're my last sense of direction,

so I need (this) platonic affection.

Because my head got too loud,

it's like there's a giant cloud.

I feel the darkness grow,

and I'm feeling low.

You help me feeling okay,

But not in a romantic way.

With you I don't have to mask,

so is it okay if I ask:

Can I come over tonight?

Because I fail to find light.

Being on testosterone and having to go through puberty a second time because of that is weird. Like I'm completely calm, watching sherlock with my boyfriend and one second later I'm horny.

Kant talks a lot about common sense for a person that has none at all

I was being cancelled because apparently it was classist to put feathers on dinosaurs.

Both dream me and irl me were very confused.

I really hate being alone because sometimes I get stuck in my head. I get lost in my mind. 'cause up there it's like a wicked maze with moving walls built out of my screaming and racing thoughts.

And I don't know if it's too quiet or too loud, if I feel a lot of emotions or nothing at all. Am I in pain or is everything just numb?

So I'm just falling down this downward spiral. And I want to scream. Want to ask for help. But every time I try and open my mouth no sound comes out. All I can do is reach out my hand, hoping you see it and catch me before I arrive at the end.

Down at the bottom, broken, shattered in pieces, dying inside. 'cause honestly I don't know if I can build myself all up again.

your pets would miss you if you were gone

your family would miss you if you were gone

your friends would miss you if you were gone

the world would miss you if you were gone

Tumblr would miss you if you were gone

I'd miss you if you were gone

I wish I could ask you to come over right now.

Wish I could but I don't know how…

I wish I could tell you about

Everytime my head gets too loud.

How you manage to shut up my mind.

How you help me to find

A way to escape those thoughts in my head.

The ones that leave me wanting to be dead.

Without you I can't find the way.

That's why I wish I could ask you to stay.

Wish I could ask you to stay with me tonight

And help me kill the pain I feel inside.

But telling you about it all

Would mean letting down my wall.

Would allow you to see

Even the hidden parts of me.

And honestly, I probably would

If I only knew how I could…

Cause losing loved ones is what I fear most

But I still let you come so close.

And even despite of my fear

You're part of the reason I'm still here…

I want to give you the love you deserve

[cishets don’t touch]

Walter Benjamin *15. Juli 1892

Rauchen XII