I Love That You're Bilingual That's So Cool!

My favorite part was when Hay drank a bunch of milk out of spite

Like seriously, I refuse to believe that Han and Leia split up over a kid going to the Dark Side or Luke just giving up and going into exile over one student, even his nephew going to the Dark Side. The characterization in The Force Awakens just makes me mad cause I’ve read dozens of books and have seen the character development of the original trilogy trio over the course of near 40 years after Return of the Jedi and it just makes me mad. Cause Han and Leia stood strong in their marriage despite a hostile extra Galactic invading species killing both Chewbacca and their 14 year old son Anakin, their other son Jacen becoming a Sith, him killing Luke’s wife Mara, and having to be killed by his twin, their daughter Jaina. And they both still kept up their roles as a General and Chief of State/Ambassador all the while.

And Luke, bless this dude, not only fully rebuilt the Jedi Order, but in his first class of Jedi, when Kyp Durron went to the Dark Side he went out and brought him back and redeemed him. He had to deal with internal schisms in the Order about the nature of the force and the role of the Jedi and kept the peace and the order united. He lead the Jedi through a war with the Yuuzahn Vong that saw trillions die and helped end the war on diplomatic terms just like his mother Padme would have done. He dealt with the Galactic suspicion of the Jedi and even after he was personally blamed for his nephew becoming a Sith and being exiled by the Galactic Alliance he still held to his role as leader of the Jedi and his role as a father to Ben Skywalker and continued to fight for peace and against the dark side. And even after his death his Force Ghost was still working to save the Galaxy and help his descendants stay on the right paths.

Don’t tell me this out of character nonsense we saw in TFA is canon cause it’s not.

cassian andor is proof all you need in life is big brown eyes and cathlioc gulit

grandpa haymitch!!!

my biggest epilogue headcanon is that i 100% believe haymitch decides to quit drinking when he finds out katniss is pregnant (because i REFUSE to accept he doesn’t live to see their kids). i can see him reaching the point in his life where he thinks katniss and peeta don’t need him anymore, and starts letting go of living. i imagine that lenore dove visits him in a dream, her hair gray and face wrinkled (but as beautiful to him as ever). she tells him that his time with his family is not over and they will need him more than ever.

then, he finds out katniss is pregnant, and everything changes. he finally sees an opportunity to start over. everyone he has ever loved has been hurt by him, but he refuses to burden another soul he loves. he loves katniss and peeta too much to break their trust like that yet again, and already sees himself holding their sweet baby in his arms. he can’t imagine stumbling around, slurring his words in front of someone so precious. it’s simply unthinkable.

he thinks of burdock. his adored daughter having her own child. he makes a silent promise to him to take care of his grand babies, something that was taken away from him.

so one night, soon after katniss and peeta break the news, he dumps all the white liquor down the drain. he ends up miserably sick, but just the thought of that baby or the sight of katniss’ growing belly is enough to keep him from going into town and buying more liquor.

he eventually comes back to life, and is more present in katniss and peeta’s lives than ever. he helps them put together the baby’s room, cares for katniss when she’s not feeling well while peeta’s working, and never comes back from town without something for the baby.

when katniss goes into labor, he spends the entire day pacing back and forth downstairs in the living room. he is so worried about her. the sound of labor pains is almost enough to put back a drink. almost.

when he goes upstairs and meets their baby girl, he breaks down. katniss and peeta have never seen him cry until this moment. all he can see are the two people he loves most in the world, wrapped up into a tiny bundle of dark curls and chubby cheeks. she looks just like katniss, remembering the days where burdock showed her off in the hob. he imagines the future he wanted with lenore dove, how they were going to have their own babies and grandbabies. she would be so proud of him, so happy he got to experience the love of being a father and a grandfather in this world.

as baby girl and her brother grow, haymitch becomes their favorite person. they love to ride on his shoulders, chase around with the geese, and play dress up with him (which is katniss’s favorite thing to watch - he looks ridiculous and can’t help but scowl at her as she laughs at him dressed up in a dress and tiara. he does it anyway, it makes the kids happy).

he eventually teaches the girl how to play piano (because he obviously learned it to honor lenore dove), and brings her a bundle of wildflowers after her first recital. he is there for every birthday, every school performance, every sport event, and every sunday (at the very least) for dinner. he walks with katniss every afternoon to pick them up from school, and carries the boy on his shoulders while he holds the girl’s hand.

he loves her beautiful voice and her kindness toward everyone she meets. he loves his curiosity, his belly laugh, and the mop of blonde curls on the top of his head. he often finds himself ruffling them, just as he would do to sid so long ago.

they remind him of all the innocent souls he loved and lossed. sid, louella, ampert, lou lou; all too innocent for the creulty of the world. the difference is, they are out of the capitol’s reach.

finally, he is not defined by his faults. he is not the rebel tribute who got his family and his girl killed, a victor, a mentor, or a drunk. he is grandpa haymitch. loved to death by two little kids and their parents, just for being him.

lenore dove often visits him in his dreams, telling him she’s so proud of him, and to keep living for her in this world where the sun rises on days full of love, hope, and peace.

years later, I figured out it wasn’t Reylo I hated, it was the whole canon of the third star wars installment, lol. Or I should say the characterization, because what was really promising in TFA turned into gibberish by the time TLJ came around. Maybe people had actually good headcanons for Reylo, I don’t know because I’m not invested in that ship, but if you go off the actual characterizations and make it somewhat canon compliant: yeah it’s abusive, unrealistic and just plain weird, there’s no way around it.

I loved The Force Awakens, but mostly for it’s ‘fresh’ feeling (new characters, new take on the originals, interesting parallels, gorgeous cinematography) and the potential of it. I loved Rey & her independence, I loved Finn who went against his conditioning as a stormtrooper after he saw his friend die; I was intrigued by the idea that he could be a Jedi. I liked Poe’s and Finn’s friendship (fuck disney for not letting them be the space gays they deserved to be). There’s so much more though. 

I actually liked a lot of the ideology & spirituality themes in TLJ (bringing a bit more grey area into the jedi/sith dichotomy, marxist ideology even lmao. Also salty, broken Luke Skywalker was a genius progression imo) but it opened up too many new chapters that couldn’t possibly be resolved in the third part. Also it felt like a weirdly sexualized movie, just felt really uncomfortable to me (but that’s a bone I have to pick with all of Ryan Johnson’s movies I’ve seen so far, too traditionally heteronormative for me). That’s where the Reylo picked up in canon, and how it was portrayed in the movie was problematic and personally, I hated it. Whatever people did on ao3 with it, idc, but it was neither a good setup for a romance in a kid/teen movie nor for a possible redemption (sorry but my measure for a good redemption arc will always be Zuko, and kylo ren did not cut it). It was rushed and poorly made, people defending the writing pissed me off. The third installation of the trilogy was just a scramble to save what’s left, but they failed to the point that I couldn’t even remember the plot or characterization (what characterization??) without reading wiki articles about it. So whatever Disney could conceal with an intriguing opening of the trilogy was destroyed when they showed their true colors with the following two movies. No consistency and a backwards approach to characterization. 

Oh and the other thing that was a completely wasted opportunity: a rebellion from within, stormtroopers being freed from their conditioning and therefore dismantling the first order. Wasn’t that the whole point, unshackling an army of abducted children? They hung a gun in TFA but didn’t fire it. I am so fucking mad about that.

CLUE 1985, dir. Jonathan Lynn

you're not ascending to godhood you're just dehydrated

I was thinking of how every time I see Cal with a blue lightsaber I'm confused (even if thats his canon colour) bc I mostly play with yellow/orange and see people thag play with those colours

SO imagine Cal in TL4J just showing up one day with like a pink lightsaber or some thing and everyone else is like wot

i have a solution to your problem (sound on)

penis dashboard kind of night