Five [MASTERPOST]

fiftieth prompt:

when he’s thirteen, regulus and sirius are forced to attend a banquet being held at one of their family members homes. bellatrix supposes it would be funny to try a new spell she learned out on sirius, but regulus pushes his brother out of the way in time for it to hit him instead.

next he knows, he’s transported into a park at night, a boy who introduces himself as harry potter, also thirteen, next to him.

one time i had a dream that my family was at a dinner party with the blacks for some reason and i had to sit next to regulus. in the dream, i didn't know him so i thought he was super boring and quiet but i quickly found out that he was the deadpan chaotic type? like he was constantly muttering absolutely wild stuff under his breath with a completely straight face and whenever that happened i'd look at him like yo tf and he'd just look innocently back at me like he never even said anything. like my guy would just casually refer to large sums of money as "smackarackaroonies" in his ridiculously posh accent with the air of someone discussing the weather and act like it was a completely normal thing to say. i was in tears lmfao

OP YOU MET REGULUS BLACK HOW DOES IT FEEL

SIRIUS & REGULUS BLACK

harry potter au where the wizard aesthetic is Needlessly, Exaggeratedly Steampunk

singing

AN: Harry Potter Fic: holding a handful of flames 

4k of rough Regulus Lives fic, in which RAB is somehow held in stasis in the Inferi Lake and is fetched and revived by Kreacher after Walburga’s death (1986 or 1987-ish). I think this was written as a potential FTH auction fic back in 2017, but put aside in favor of focusing on my RAB-centric fic FDITH. 

Never posted to tumblr or AO3 before; fic under the cut. 

Keep reading

Sirius would 1000% support regulus and his arsonist ways

Reg: “Siriiiiii! I’m bored!”

Si: “Well what do you wanna do?”

R: “I wanna make an explosion”

S: “...okay... how about we go on the roof and light some fireworks?”

R: “boooooriiiiing. Been there done that. I need something more exciting than that!”

S: “hooooow abooooout.... we light fireworks in the kitchen?”

R: “Y E S”

i love tiny arsonist feral reg

do yourself a favor and read “Oh God, Not Again!” by Sarah1281

it is a harry potter fanfic from like 2009, 160k words, 50 chapters

basically, adult Harry accidentally goes back in time and wakes up on his 11th birthday again, but with all his memories of the future intact

(the way he travels back makes no sense whatsoever but it doesn’t really matter)

harry decides upon 3 goals:

fuck up as much shit as possible

make a shitload of money

save some lives or whatever

it is

H I L A R I O U S

his go-to explanation for how he knows what’s going to happen?

he has a psychic scar

(hermione is SO PISSED about this)

(neville’s like “either he’s psychic, or he’s the greatest conman alive”)

everyone just sort of assumes harry’s insane and he doesn’t do much to dispute this

harry also decides to make it his mission in life to LOSE the house cup every year

“snape is my sole ally”

he also goes out of his way to befriend neville, ginny, and luna earlier this time, so they’re part of the gang throughout and it’s great

even draco is a friend!

(kind of)

(when harry’s not spreading a rumor that draco’s the lovechild of narcissa and snape, anyway)

harry’s motivation for everything he does in this story is basically, “oh, this will be hilarious”

either that or, “it’s probably a tax deductible”

because the way lockhart is written in this story is also amazing and harry ends up teaming up with him to merchandise The Boy Who Lived so he can have cash to burn

(so he gets a LOT of shit done via bribes)

it gets to the point where harry is able to convince everyone that he’s not the heir of slytherin…. because if he was, he’d have found a way to make money off of it

and everyone’s like “yeah ok that checks out”

in this timeline, neville’s boggart isn’t snape…. it’s harry as the minister of magic

harry also decides to make sure cedric lives by quizzing him constantly on what to do if he ends up in a graveyard

harry: by the way, that reminds me – cedric. graveyard.

cedric, not even really listening: run like hell.

the sheer magnitude to which harry does not give a fuck in this timeline is truly awe-inspiring

he mouths off to everyone, and i mean everyone. lockhart, snape, the dursleys, malfoy, friggin’ voldemort

everyone is like “what… what the fuck, harry”

(though by the end of first year it’s more like “… *deep sigh* … fine.

snape is so angry

it’s fucking hysterical and just about everyone ends up better off

here’s the link

thank me later