Toxicity

Toxicity

Toxicity doesn’t get resolved by telling people to not be toxic, telling people they are evil/wrong or by telling the community they are just a few rotten apples.

None of those attempts to understand that toxic individuals are toxic for a reason.

When a company establishes a fandom around the idea of tribalism and/or nationalism, and tries to use these to establish an identity around that - I am a fan of X - they breed toxicity.

When someone messes with that identity people get hurt, frustrated, angry and sometimes violent because it is perceived as betrayal, intrusion from outsiders and sometimes like an erasure of the person’s identity.

It is hard to imagine the emotional devastation until you feel it yourself. It is more than just disappointment, it is earth shattering, it is cataclysmic, it attacks your very being and thus distorts your view of yourself and the world around you.

And here is the thing, it is not a few people who are overindulgent in a fandom - it is everyone. We all experience it from something. Or rather we all have the ability to experience it and react to it in a way that is over the top and violent. There is always something you would have thoughts of murder for and the issue of harrassment doesn’t come from people who are horrible, wicked people. It comes from the people who cannot stop themselves, people who need to express their anger, frustration, violence, and who have no healthy ways to vent it.

People lacking in social circles, people who have been routinely told their opinions don’t matter, people who have trouble expressing themselves to those they do know.

These aren’t failed people, they are people who know it is wrong but are emotional. These are the majority of what is called “the toxic fanbase”.

You’re not morally superior to them, you are them. The distinction between them and you is that your toxicity manifests itself in socially acceptable ways. You complain to friends, you have your opinions reinforced by others, you vent your emotions on forums or to other fans.

And you need to understand above all that while the people who harrass others are doing the wrong thing, it is not a moral failing but a social failing. If they are surrounded by people with similar dispositions they become trolls and fascists, they become bigger problems because a group of likeminded individuals reinforces an opinion and gives justification for criminality.

You don’t have to talk to them, just understand why it is they become like they are. Understand how to avoid becoming one yourself. Understand that this is what companies want, the harrassment is just a side effect of playing you against one another. It is an unconcious desire to make you into tribes so you consume more products.

Instead of screaming at each other, include them in your conversations. Even if it is painful at first, even if it is excruciating, just having the chance to talk makes everyone less likely to go and threaten eldesth on someone else.

You don’t have to like them, but when you burn bridges you can’t expect them not to blame you when they have trouble crossing the river.