"I Want A Boyfriend," No You Want To Pin A Boy To A Wall With A Dagger To His Throat, Don't Settle For

06.18.22

headed to visit friends for the long weekend ,, i always have such a hard time convincing myself to go places when i get in a routine w school or work, but you gotta take advantage of the time you have ig

🎧: the door is closing - spirit of the beehive

Interviewer: What difference in usage would you point out in these three languages [Russian, English, French], these three instruments?

Nabokov: Naunces. If you take framboise in French, for example, it’s a scarlet color, a very red color. In English, the word raspberry is rather dull, with perhaps a little brown or violet. A rather cold color. In Russian it’s a burst of light, malinovoe; the word has associations of brilliance, of gaiety, of ringing bells. How can you translate that?

- Vladimir Nabokov, Think, Write, Speak: Uncollected Essays, Reviews, Interviews and Letters to the Editor. Bryan Boyd and Anastasia Tolstoy, Eds.

23 years old and I’ve never had a significant other.

I’ve never held hands with someone. I’ve never gone out on a date. I’ve never even been kissed. It never used to really affect me, all of this. I always had this innate confidence that it wouldn’t be like this forever; that my person would come when they’re meant to. But lately, it’s been weighing on me. I’m not a middle-schooler anymore, or a teenager. As each year goes by, it seems more and more out of reach.

Maybe it’s seeing all of my old friends from school getting engaged on social media or moving in with their SO. Maybe it’s because we’ve been in a pandemic for two years and having someone to love and feel loved by would bring a sense of comfort and lightness. I’m not really sure. All I know is, it’s a heavy feeling, this feeling like you’re not desirable or wanted. It makes you so afraid that you’ll never find anyone, because how could you if all you’ve ever known your entire life is being single? The thought of being in a relationship *EVER* is like a pipe dream to me. And it’s awful to feel that way.

But I still hope for it, just the same. It’s just that the hopefulness if starting to get painful.

This is what I found when I searched Giulia on Pinterest.

i love the rare book room at my university

Guercino’s Angels  The Angel of the Annunciation, 1646  Angel, 17th century  The Annunciation, c.1616-18 The Angel of the Annunciation, c.1638/1639 

A Poem of Many Poems

To write, my darling

It is the only way, truly,

To be heard forever

I write because-

Because

No one can take it away

From me

Or from the world

As the poets say,

Littera scripta manet

The written word remains

Indefinitely

Even when not a soul

Can understand a word

Of what I’ve written,

The letters will be there,

The sounds,

The beauty

That there is in words,

In language

I will be a relic,

A fossil preserved in the golden amber

Of eternity

And words

The poet is as the musician is,

Forever in sound

Words and are simply that,

Beautiful melody