Details: Ship On Rough Seas, Max Jensen, 1908

botany dark academia

R.H Sin

Is life not just a scramble to get things done before a deadline that you don’t even know the time of?

If I Don’t Love You

If I don’t love you,

then why,

darling,

explain to me why,

do you look so gorgeous?

Violet light,

weaving itself through strands

of golden hair.

If you don’t love me,

then why am I the first person you look at

when you walk into the room?

Some sort of something

in your eyes

as they dart away from mine.

I forget to breathe.

I see you walk out,

pretending not to notice you.

Pretending not to notice

how your eyes flick to me as you sit

carelessly

with the sun and the blue sky.

I caution a glance

as I walk away.

I don’t love you?

I don’t love you.

P.S. Yes, this one’s about the academic rival.

Duke Humphrey’s Library, the Bodleian, Oxford. May 2019.

Re-uploading these because I finally figured out how to format them!! I will never stop being grateful for the chance to study here.

Eyes

Eyes of flowing honey,

eyes of swirling ocean.

Is there really so much of a difference?

Both marred with scars,

painfully etched in over the years by family and friends and society itself.

A father filled with rage,

a mother who never wanted her.

One desperate to fit in with American society and one forever distancing herself from it.

One knowing nothing about himself and the other knowing everything about the both of them.

Yet, when their eyes meet all the scars seem to smooth over,

the raging sea calms,

the honey travels far from the fearsome bees of its past.

And, when they are inevitably torn apart?

𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬, 𝐦.𝐥. 𝐫𝐢𝐨

“𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘰𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘺, 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘶𝘮.”

She grows up feeling wrong, out of place, too dark, too tall, too unruly, too opinionated, too silent, too strange. She grows up with the awareness that she is merely tolerated, an irritant, useless, that she does not deserve love, that she will need to change herself substantially, crush herself down if she is to be married

Hamnet - Maggie O’Farrell

dark academia is when you have to read the crustiest pdf known to man