She Grows Up Feeling Wrong, Out Of Place, Too Dark, Too Tall, Too Unruly, Too Opinionated, Too Silent,

- Sylvia Plath, from 'Ariel'

Jealousy

Midnight parties in Wimbledon

Sketches of Julius Caesar on idle sheets of paper

Football games in Wales when it’s nearing dusk

Academic trips to South Africa in Spring

Sunsets from Roedean, on Brighton’s coast

Family pictures in front of Rad Cam in Oxford

Sushi dinners and British accents

and boys in black blazers

and evening walks to Grantchester

and Warwick in the summer months and taking pictures of the sun

and hair waving with the onslaught of wind on sunny shores

and Mediterranean villages on the sea

and 4AM strolls in Kensington and Leicester

and dinner dates in Porto Torres

and running through palm-ridden forests

and reading Dead Poets Society and the Secret History in dark corners of rooms with oak wainscoting

and Alexander in Eton tails

and-

To live so much

That I die

When I see you

the tips of the wings stuck out so I made them into cat ears (her name is either purra bellum or pawra bellum)

This is the only tiktok you'll ever need, I've made about 13 of these and I'm not stopping anytime soon

I've just learned that some (if not most) people have an internal narrative of their thoughts – almost all of their thoughts are in sentences that they 'hear'

as opposed to other people, like me, who have predominantly abstract non-verbal thoughts. Yes, i can talk to myself in my head if i want, and i often hear a voice when i read (until i get really into the story, at which point the voice disappears), but 99% of my thoughts are completely non-verbal. Like, i'm thinking a million things all the time, but there just aren't words attached to them.

I'm so intrigued by this. Is it always in full sentences? Is it all the time? How do you think two things at once - do the voices overlap, or do you just wait to finish that thought before moving onto the next? i have so much abstract chaos going on in my head at all times, i really couldn't imagine how it could possibly be funnelled into linear sentences???? does it affect how you process things?

my mind has been blown

An Ode to Rays of Sun

Sweet, mellifluous rays of sunlight

seep through every crack, every seam

invading every crevice, every nook

until there is no space for night.

A million threads,

golden as fresh honey,

bright as a thousand suns,

tether me to the sky.

The shine of silk or velvet,

the beauty of a field of dandelions,

the yellow light,

sends a haze over everything,

obscuring all that is not good.

The morning is acissmus,

the night, a palimpsest.

Until you see the stars.

Oh, the stars deserve their own poem.

I cannot do them justice as a simple end to another.

How can one call themselves human without being enamored with the heavens?

Foxglove Perimeter

When Haruki Murakami said, "Sometimes I feel like a caretaker of a museum - a huge, empty museum where no one ever comes, and I'm watching over it for no one but myself." And when Audrey Hepburn said, "Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book, and remembering - because you can't take it in all at once."

i love the rare book room at my university

current favourite words:

• esoteric: likely to be understood or enjoyed by only a few people with a special knowledge or interest

• hubris (greek tragedy): excessive pride towards or defiance of the gods, leading to nemesis

• trepidation: great worry or fear about something unpleasant that may happen

• hedonistic: based on the belief that pleasure is the most important thing in life

• decadence: moral or cultural decline as characterized by excessive indulgence in pleasure or luxury

• writhe: respond with great emotional or physical discomfort to (a violent or unpleasant feeling or thought)

• acerbic: (of a person or what they say) critical in a direct and rather cruel way

• sanguine: blood red

ancient greek word of the day: πολυνιφής (polyniphēs), deep with snow