My-dearest-giulia - GIULIA

"The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

To learn that

one who speaks of

such that is different from their actions

is an idiot,

to entertain the notion

of facing you.

Why?

Who are you?

"To define is to limit," you say,

a smirk dancing on your lips.

It is because you know who you are, that you need someone to find out who that is.

For that is what it is

to be worthy of you.

---

---

It's always: "wanna hang out" but never "hey let's create a secret society and read literature and poetry"

- Sylvia Plath, from 'Ariel'

𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬, 𝐦.𝐥. 𝐫𝐢𝐨

“𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘰𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘺, 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘶𝘮.”

This is the post I want you all to spread as much as you can. Do anything but I want it to be seen as much as possible. I don't care for any of my other posts as much as for this one. IF I DIE I WANT THIS POST TO BE SEEN. I WANT THE WORLD TO HEAR.

This is the memory of a 16 year old girl Katya from Mariupol. I translated it to English and I cried while translating. Please read this. Don't scroll. Don't be ignorant and indifferent.

Do you know the feeling of pain? Once I fell in love with a boy but he didn't love me back, and I thought that it was painful. Turned out that the real pain is to see your mother dying with your own eyes. And to see your brother coming to her again and again, asking her: "Mommy, please, don't sleep, you'll freeze". And we'll never visit her grave. She got left in the cold and dark basement.

We peed, slept and ate our last portions of food in the same basement.

Once uncle Kolya caught a pigeon, I think on the fifth or sixth day, and we fried it and we ate it. And then we all puked.

Mom held on until the end, she died three days before we evacuated.

I told my brother that she's sleeping deeply and that we shouldn't wake her up. But, I think, he understood everything. He understood back then when our lady neighbor died and we couldn't put her outside and she started smelling. And then it became quiet for awhile, uncle Kolya put her outside and got blown up by a hidden grenade (my note, this word "rastyajka" means a grenade with a string attached to it, not a stray bomb. It was put to kill civilians coming out from the basements). Mom cried a lot. After Dad's death, uncle Kolya was the closest person to us.

The dead bodies stink so much.

They were everywhere. I closed my brother's eyes with Mom's scarf so he didn't have to see it. When we were running I almost threw up several times.

I don't believe in your god anymore.

If he existed, we wouldn't have had to suffer so much. My Mother never, you hear me, NEVER did anything bad. She never even left uncle Kolya in another room until she got married. She went to church and confessed often, and so did I. Uncle Kolya gave up smoking so Mom wouldn't worry about him sinning. And your god took her away. The pastor told me something about her helping god there, but it would be so much better for her to help god here, by bringing us up.

I hate russia.

My own uncle is there. Do you know what he said to me today on the phone? "Katya? Which Katya? Girl, I don't know you. What war, which Katya?". And then he wrote me from a different number: "Katya, don't write me. It's dangerous for me and my family. And your mom won't come back".

I hate them! It was his own sister?! How possibly can a person do this???

You know what? I think I'm going to come back to Mariupol. And I'm gonna live on the same place as before. And everyday come into the basement of the new building to put flowers.

It's also scary when the kids cry when it's forbidden. It's forbidden because we needed to not be heard.

These monsters found people in the basements and killed them. Those, who survived, told us that the russian soldiers could rape kids, the elderly and even dead bodies.

If there is a god, why does he let it happen?

I don't want to live anymore. We may be separated now, I suppose. I may not ever see my brother again. And why? Why did this putin "save" us? We lived so well, we even bought a car. Uncle Kolya promised to teach me how to drive. And they even burned the car. And our flat is no more. I want to die and I can't.

Please, hug your kids! Otherwise when you die, they might not remember your smell. If I handle it all and have kids, — I'm going to hug them 24/7.

***

This is it. Now it's time for you to do your part. Do a tag game, tag all your mutuals, do EVERYTHING BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS IMPORTANT. THIS IS MY HONEST HUMAN SCREAM TO YOU AND I SCREAM TO YOU TO SPREAD THIS MEMORY. THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS, NOT OSCARS, NOT MEMES, NOT EVERYDAY LIFE. EVERY DAY OF WAR, EVERY DAY WE DON'T GET OUR VICTORY IS THE DAY WE LOST MORE OF OUR INNOCENT PEOPLE. MAKE A GODDAMN CHANGE, PEOPLE!!!

Yours truly

the cryptography students

messy handwriting, rushed scribbles on the page

the satisfaction of untangling a particularly difficult substitution cipher

coming up with your own codes 

half-finished crossword puzzles tucked into your bag

seeing patterns everywhere you look

analyzing how information travels from person to person through the internet

the familiar weight of a calculator in your hand

a fascination with puzzles and mysteries

secrets told in hushed whispers

valuing privacy and security

reading about the history of codes and codebreaking

applying elegant, pure math to the real world

the shining rotors of an antique cipher machine

a chessboard, frozen in the middle of an unfinished game

the elegance of a well-constructed cipher, easy to encode but difficult to break

passing encoded notes back and forth with your friends

a stack of thriller novels on your bookshelf

watching old spy movies, laughing at the inaccuracies

a powerful sense of determination, refusing to give up

understanding the importance of cryptography in the internet age

subject aesthetics masterpost

completed:

humanities and social sciences

history

political science

psychology

economics

sociology

law

forensics & criminology

anthropology

philosophy

archaeology

linguistics

classics

folklore studies

theology & religious studies

international relations

women’s studies

east asian studies

natural sciences

chemistry

biology

physics

astronomy

botany

wildlife science

paleontology

geology

marine biology

mathematics and logic

mathematics

computer science

statistics

engineering

engineering

computer engineering

bioengineering

electrical engineering

mechanical engineering

civil engineering

chemical engineering

aerospace engineering

agricultural engineering

art 

art & art history

music

dance

photography

film

theater

design

language

language

french

japanese

chinese

translation & interpretation 

arabic

literature

literature

creative writing

poetry

journalism

medicine

medicine & anatomy

pharmacy

veterinary science

nursing

occupational therapy

respiratory therapy

other

education

geography

library management

architecture

cryptography

in progress/requested:

humanities and social sciences

european studies

africana studies

postcolonial studies

social work

communications

marketing

finance & accounting

medieval studies

viking studies

psycholinguistics

indian classical students

natural sciences 

gemmology

astrophysics

biophysics

toxicology

environmental studies/environmental science

cognitive science

data science

horology

oceanography

microbiology

robotics & biotechnology

quantum physics

art 

interior design

fashion & fashion history

double bass

languages

hebrew

greek

latin

tamil

hindi

german

italian

sanskrit

urdu

applied linguistics

spanish

korean

medicine

remote medicine

nutrition

opticianry

epidemiology/public health

oncology studies

psychiatry

neuroscience

dentistry

diagnostics

speech language therapy

literature

comparative literature

russian literature 

other

game design

city planning

teaching assistants/TAs

food technology

port & maritime management

veterinary forensics

student athlete

thanatology

political ecology

cybersecurity

Questions To Ask People You Like:

Favourite classical authors?

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Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

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Sense and Sensibility or Pride and Prejudice?

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Ever written a love letter?

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If your name was Adelia, which nickname would you choose, Addie or Delia?

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Favorite things?