I’m Sorry , But Where The Hell Did People Hear That ‘theyfab’ Originated As A Term To ‘call Out

A little boy just looked at me and went “woah! That girl is so tall!! I didn’t know girls could get that tall!” To his grandpa.

Grandpa talked to him about how he had tall women in his family and how pretty tall girls are and the boy said he should ask me out 💀 so grandpa was like “she’s probably already married”

Listening to this exchange was so cute and so gender affirming bc not once did either of them imply I was actually a man I’m gonna cry this was so sweet.

women (including trans and/or queer women) have the capacity to be misogynistic towards trans men. we are being treated as if we are little girls on this app. the word "transmisogyny" is something i see a lot more than the word "transphobia" recently. while it's okay and encouraged to talk about transmisogyny, i feel like trans men are being excluded for no reason on many posts. experiences that are actually had by all/most trans people are said to be exclusive to trans women. so then we try for transandrophobia and get shut down because trans men can't be oppressed, apparently. usually, i try to educate myself and listen as much as possible, but it's been monthssssss of this on tumblr. i feel like i'm being spoon-fed lessons on my own oppression, and i can't get down from the high chair...

btw there's so much discourse on my feed rn and I think I need some people to just step off of tumblr and meet people outside their circles. Does wonders for you btw x

i cannot believe that in 2025

there are people on bluesky who proudly put on their profiles being "baeddel" like, that shit didn't work here in the 2010s tumblr (where it originated), so why the fuck are you trying to make it come back, lmao

actually i wouldn't be surprised if this-certain-group of trans ppl on bluesky are actually all baeddels but just not saying it out loud.

seeing them all still talking about "cissexual" privilege when refering to other TRANS ppl, the classic "you are trans but NOT REALLY trans like me", im just gonna say, be careful with this kind of thinking.

for context:

Medium

Let’s Talk About Bæddels

A comperehensive retrospective on Tumblr’s movement to make gender essentialism “trans-friendly”.

no, being "baeddel" is not good AT ALL. please, don't let anyone tell you otherwise bc, holy fuck, just read the whole thing and be wary. it's pretty much TERF rethoric, only trans version (also known as TIRF), lmao

i found out about this whole "baeddel" around the end of last year, and it was like "woah what the fuck??????" i had no idea this kind of shit happened. please, read it in full 😩😩

(edit: an updated version of this article is also here on tumblr!!)

nothorses.tumblr.com

Let's Talk About Baeddels.

An (updated) retrospective on Tumblr's movement to make gender essentialism trans-friendly. This post contains excepts from a longer article

just because you slap the word “trans” in front of radfem does not make radical feminism a good thing. Yall are still parroting conservative talking points, just directing it at other marginalized groups instead.

Reblog if you stand against order, civilization, and goodness itself

It’s funny how so many of these proudly transandrophobic blogs are just. Blatantly intersexist and exorsexist as well. Literally just blocked a binary trans person who had four posts in a row whinging about nonbinary people and their “esoteric non-man genders”

And if they're not doing that, they're saying intersex individuals shouldn’t speak up about the casual intersexism rampant in the LGBT+ community, because it makes queer perisex people sad :(

Sometimes these dumbasses even go for triple, and call every transfem whose even vaguely supportive of trans men “pick mes” or “brainwashed puppets” or even “trans men in disguise”, because nothing says you’re supportive of trans women like a dose of transmisogyny!

I guess anyone who is proudly a bigot towards one group is probably gonna be a bigot to others, even if they try to pretend otherwise.

Makes em easy to block, though. One less dumbass on my dash, hope they figure their shit out bc god damn, it’s embarrassing to witness.

I'm so tired....

I had to block 2 people on my post who saw "stop generalized transmasc experiences and dismissing our struggles" and respond to that with "stop acting like there's a secret cabal silencing transmascs" and "you don't think trans men can live meaningful lives as men". I don't even like blocking people but it's impossible to discuss with these conspiracy brained weirdos.

Sorry I'm trying to boost the voices of trans men who are suffering because I consistently see them shot down and the world is dangerous right now? Sorry I AM a trans man who's suffering and in constant fear? Sorry my lived experience doesn't align with your strawman but I'm unabashedly a man and my struggles are real and I won't let you dissect my identity into pieces to try to fit your narrative that the more a trans man identifies as a man the less oppression he faces. It's literally not true at all.

I AM living my life happily as a man, it was the first time I ever felt complete in my life when I was actively suicidal as a woman and thought I wouldn't live past 22. What a weird way to dismiss someone talking about their oppression. "You're struggling and communicating it so something can be done about it so you must not be happy with your identity". I'm very happy with my identity, I actually had hope for the future before all this transmasc hate but it's been wearing on me because uncriticized hate against a group of people lessens our quality of life and makes it more dangerous for us to live freely. The government's insistence to detransition me makes me unhappy, the mainstream uncriticized hatred of masculinity makes me unhappy, the insistence that other people know our struggles better than we do makes me unhappy.

I'm very happy being a trans man and I love the trans men in my life and I want them all to be happy, but I'm seeing us all struggle, so I'm speaking out about it.

thinking about that one moment when I was about to get top surgery

hey don’t cry. every single transandrophobic post you see is actually just one of fite-club’s ten thousand alt accounts. yeah it’s okay. no one except him actually thinks like that