Daily Routine (9/24/17) - Welcome Back

Daily Routine (9/24/17) - Welcome Back

To my those who have been following, I’m sorry I have not updated in over a week. It has been a whirlwind of events in my life and I simply haven’t had time to update. Regular updates will probably resume again. I’ll keep this a bit short though, as the details are tad too personal to share here. However, I would like to discuss the main theme of my past week in a broader sense.

Relationships. 

Your mind probably immediately went to something romantic. Something regarding a boyfriend/girlfriend. Something along the lines of “woe is me” and “why don’t they love me?” when you read that word following the paragraph explaining my absence. 

I’ll be honest, this is partly true. But again, I’m thinking of relationships in a broader sense. I’ve had an odd start to this semester. Friends seem to come and go. People who I thought I could be in a relationship with (yes, I’m talking about a girlfriend now) seem to come and go as well. To me, it seems that people in my life come for the pleasure of the interaction and then leave me in the dust. They want the instant gratification of seeing me, not the long term comfort of what I have to offer. 

This is melodramatic. I’m fully aware of this. People have busy schedules -- work, classes, and other ventures. They hardly have time for themselves, let alone time for to see other people. It seems to me though that I have nothing but time, even though I have essentially the same responsibilities. I want to see people and hang out with them on a regular basis, but it seems that no one else wants to make the effort. I feel at times I’m the only one doing anything when it comes to making plans with people and then they cancel at the last minute, leaving me with a feeling of self-doubt and hatred. 

It's an awful feeling, feeling alone. You feel as if no one wants you at all. You feel like you did something wrong for them to stop talking to you. Like you messed up forever and there’s no going back. What’s funny about all of this though, is that this feeling is blown completely out of proportion. It is overplayed, overdramatic, and can even be absurd. Life has a funny way of tricking you into thinking this way, even though it isn’t true. They’ll text you back. They want to see you too. They want be the world to you too.

But they just don't know how.