Omg Hi Adam!!! :) How Are You?

Tied together, but never the same.

A love that tortures.

Thought you’d be interested in this, stea. You think Keats was talking about Polaris? Can’t say I’m well versed on the subject. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44468/bright-star-would-i-were-stedfast-as-thou-art

— Nigel

Fomalhaut was the first star that came to mind. People call it the lonely one, and that feels closer to what Keats was describing—‘not in lone splendour hung aloft the night’—watching in silence like some sleepless, distant observer. Polaris is constant, sure, but Fomalhaut is solitary. It sits far apart from the other bright stars in the sky. Easy to notice. Easy to feel something about.

It makes sense to me, logistically too. Fomalhaut is visible from Earth without much effort. But more than that, it carries the weight of solitude, of being out there and unmistakably alone.

I don’t think he wanted to be the star. I think he recognized something of himself in it. When we admire things people, stars, it’s often because they mirror something we’re missing or trying to understand. Maybe he wasn’t longing for distance, but for connection. To feel less alone by seeing that loneliness reflected back.

And even if they’re separated by lifetimes of space, the star and the observer exist in that moment together. No one else might understand that connection, perhaps not even the two of them, but it’s there nonetheless.

I saw a guy today wearing sunglasses indoors. The sun wasn’t out.

Neither was common sense, apparently.

I took the job offer in Baltimore.

I will be working as a guide at the Davis Planetarium. I’m very happy it worked out. The planetarium has such a rich archive and so many exhibits in rotation! I’ll have a lot to learn and organize, and even more to share. I am already experiencing a lot of excitement about that.

That means Beth and I will be moving to Maryland soon, leaving New York behind. I will miss New York. But I’m looking forward to seeing some people in Baltimore. And it’ll make getting to Dr. Lecter’s appointments easier, once he returns from his retreat.

Tumblr can be confusing.

This you?

That’s not me. It’s an alien plushie.

Are you genuinely curious, or is this just a joke?

My head hurts and my hands are trembling.

Do you like theater? If so, what are your favorite plays and/or musicals?

I don’t dislike theater, but I struggle with the social environment around it.

It’s loud. It’s crowded. People clap too much. But I do like the mechanics of it the structure, the rhythm, the way a story has to rely on timing and restraint. I like plays that don’t talk down to their audience.

Copenhagen is a good one,it’s about physics and ethics. The Effect by Lucy Prebble was interesting too, mostly because it plays with psychology and perception in a way that felt grounded. Musicals are harder. Most are emotionally overstimulating, but I think Hadestown had merit. I like mythology. And I appreciate when something ancient gets recontextualized in a modern structure. That’s how understanding evolves.

Beth and I are together again.

I would really prefer if everyone spoke to me directly, instead of over or for me.

I am a functioning adult, and I don’t need to be spoken for. I understand the concern on both sides, but the aggression from either side is unnecessary and, frankly, overwhelming.

I don’t take sides in this, and I don’t appreciate being used like this, as if my life doesn’t already come with its own stresses. I just want to be completely removed from this conflict and, honestly, I’d prefer it if it stays that way going forward.

@1nvictus @deerrdarling @coke-n-dope

Adam, don’t trust Nigel, he’s a bastard. He called me a fucking liability

-Tonny aka @coke-n-dope

I feel as though I’ve been inadvertently dragged into a personal conflict.

Good to hear from you though, Tonny

What’s your coping mechanism for anxiety ?

I don’t really have a proper coping mechanism for anxiety. I fidget a lot, but it’s never been bad enough that I had to figure something out. Lately, though, I’ve been listening to more music than usual. It helps filter out all the noise.

I actually started doing that a few weeks ago because of a song someone send to me.