Latest Posts by sawtiism - Page 3
If valgrace not canon, explain this 🤨🤨🤨
i might be annoying on tumblr but i'm also absolutely insufferable in real life too
thinking about this tonight
I'm sad about Apollo not getting the attention he deserves, so I'm gonna give it myself. The following is a ramble on why I love Apollo, and the way Rick handled his character <3
This hasn't been proofread and is unstructured as fuck because I lack the time for something better- and all of the following is something I said to a friend regarding TOA sjsjsjjs
Rick honestly handled abuse so fucking 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 in the series, gotta love the man for it. The parallels that he shows in Zeus and Nero, the way he addresses that Apollo himself was stuck in a cycle of abuse. I love how Apollo at first is so entitled, so used to getting his way, so shocked and disproportionately offended at the smallest things- but he's not necessarily evil. At the same time, a fair deal of the shit he did was inherently bad, yeah?
And it wasn't even because he was a control freak like Zeus, who was just toxic, paranoid and proud. It was because he never realised it was wrong because the concept of it being 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 was never introduced to him- which is no excuse by the way. He saw Zeus' actions as wrong 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮. Zeus set the example for him, and he never thought of it as (inherently) 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 'wrong,' but as something that "inconveniences/offends/hurts me."
And then his mistakes start biting him in the ass. And he's upset, because he wonders if he really deserves this?? And then his ass begins to bleed because his mistakes bite him 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥. And he's in denial but he begins to realize the gravity of his actions. He begins to empathize with his victims and it's not like he can apologise or do something to take back his actions either. His mistakes firmly remain what they are.
It's then that he slowly begins to realise- the abuse he faced at Zeus' hands, the abuse others faced at his hands, the abuse Meg faced at Nero's hands...is all inherently wrong. It's amoral. He's forced to face the fact that 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨, no matter who's dishing it out.
When he confronts Harpocrates it's made especially clear- he was a fucking bully and it slapped him in the face. How entitled he was in trying to coerce the Sybil, how cruelly he dismissed her pain because guilt was an inconvenience to him. Up until he had to deal with them again, he barely thought about them. They weren't relevant anymore, because they were not desirable or sources of entertainment anymore. They weren't useful to him anymore.
And then he's forced to address the pain he's caused. He can't save them, and he's not forgiven for his actions.
They acknowledge him and peacefully (more or less) die and now he has to live with that. He can't make things better for them. He held their future in his hands and he carelessly shaped it into an ever descending spiral staircase which ended in 𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘯 and he has to live with that.
And he sees it and he acknowledges his emotions and he lets his guilt get to him- because he understands that he deserves it, even though he can't atone for it directly, to 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.
And instead of dismissing his discomfort and booking it- which was a toxic pattern he had established and followed for YEARS, my dude addresses the fact that he needs to improve. And he 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 improve.
It's not a gradual thing and there's hints of relapse but he genuinely apologizes, puts aside his pride several times and tries to improve. He can't do anything about the past but he can damn well try to make his current and future self a different God, a God that nourishes and cares for the well-being of those less fortunate than him, a person who cares and is learning to be happy with himself and takes responsibility in a healthy way.
And it's not easy- it's a concious choice he makes, every day, every time he's faced with old thoughts. They've been habits for so long and he's breaking them and it takes a herculean effort but he 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 it.
He's still extravagant at the end and he still catches hold of luxury items but he's gifting them too now! He got Meg a unicorn <3
And then in the end he addresses that Nero and Zeus are similar, and 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮. Apollo sees his mistakes and tries to improve. Zeus and Nero 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 they are in the wrong, but it benefits them and so they do not care. They can't be forgiven because they don't deserve it. All you can do is distance yourself because there's no actual, plausible way to deal with them for good.
I just love Apollo sm jwkjdksdkndk <33
Some day I'll write a proper essay on him but today is not that day. My apologies if I get something wrong, it's been a while since I read the books :')
Ok but have we addressed Apollo's need for perfectionism and how that relates to being the former golden child and how that never really goes away?
How he desperately needs to do everything perfectly and if it's not perfect then he thinks he has failed, no—he believes he IS the failure. That he's not worth anything.
How that was already reflected even before his trials when he went to Percy and Grover to fetch his lyre while he kept practicing for his performance? How he felt the performance could not go on with just three out of four of his golden singers.
When given that new instrument by Leo, how he felt the need to try and master it right away? How he wanted to keep practicing, to get it right.
Sure, he complains about needing to practice but that's not what he was truly upset about. He is used to practicing, he is used to learning. What he was so upset about that he swore an oath on the Styx was the fact that he had already been perfect, he had mastered archery, and music, and then he suddenly lost it all. Apollo was a perfect archer. Apollo was a perfect musician. These were skills that supported his self esteem, his sense of self, these had always been truths, being perfect at these things mattered to Apollo. No matter how he failed at other things, these had always remained constant, he could always reassure himself of his worth.
This is why losing it is like a punch to the gut.
Lester is every character ever. He’s a baby. He cries three times a day. He hates himself. His protector is a twelve year old girl. His OTP is Solangelo. He’s realising he was a bit of a shit person. He plays the ukulele. He’s even bisexual.
Shane: I can't believe there's a cat somewhere in this haunted house. Amazing feeling. Love cats. And he's here, in this house! Somewhere! And I may encounter him! What a treat.
magnus “im a son of frey so i can just wear a binder full time and heal myself” chase vs. alex “if you don’t take a binder break i’ll break your ribs and strangle you to death myself” fierro
Shane: I love Walkie Talkies.
Shane: You do a walkie, and you do a talkie, both at the same time! Genius!
65 is passign. ill take it
who in their right mind decided to add all these mf letters to math. my dyslexic ass cannot
who in their right mind decided to add all these mf letters to math. my dyslexic ass cannot
Percy: I am a big fan of thinking things through
Annabeth: I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was on fire
Percy: I thought that through
Warning of the day:
feel like i havent talked about valgrace in a while. this is for them. luv those guys
percy : so how's the prettiest girl in camp half blood doing?
annabeth : i don't know percy, how are you?
percy, softly, voice cracking: i'm the prettiest girl in camp half blood?
THIS SCENE MAKES ME SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY ITS SO CUTE
dont u ever remember leo canonically often cooks for piper all types of vegetarian dishes and saves the best recipes he finds thinking of her like the besties they are and suddenly want to cry into your pillow
“this character is dead” to you maybe. I don't know where y'all live but I live in denial
Jason: What’s up guys? I’m back.
Reyna: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.
Jason: Death is a social construct.
freezing cold jason grace x burning hot leo valdez
they hold hands to become a normal temperature
*wakes up in a cold sweat*
if will solace is a star wars nerd and a son of apollo, the god of light, does this mean we might find this bitch equipped in tartarus with a LIGHTSABER of all things??????
“To all the Nicos, Wills, Pipers, and everyone in between: this is for you.
May you shine as bright as the sun and the stars.”
— The Sun and The Star; dedication page