I Have An Idea. To Begin With We Can Try Learning Grammar Together To Understand The Difference Between

In case there is even the slightest doubt as to who owns them, this will straighten it out.

Would you ever give a chance to one of your fan from Tumblr and have sex with them? ;)

:)   no.

Experienc(ed & ing) this first hand.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

— Neil Gaiman, The Sandman

Gairik & I (1st & 2nd part)

Let's call him Gairik.

I had recently started working. I had not worked before and had to take it up under duress. I possessed neither the experience nor degrees to get a high profile job. The dialogues I used here are just indicative and not an exact reproduction of reality. For those who have read my previous posts would know that my husband is deputed abroad and I am here with my children who have just started school. The school operates a bus service that picks and drops the children home. On the rare occasion when the bus service fails, the parents need to go over to collect their wards from the school.

My younger daughter's best friend in school is a nice girl and I know that the two friends genuinely care for each other. My daughter's friend, who, for the sake of this narrative we shall address as Durba (not her real name) does well in her studies and has exceptional behaviour (as opposed to mine, who at one time walked-in on us one night while we were engaged in a coitus...I believe I have written about that before). Durba lives with her father, who is separated from her mother. I could not but appreciate the wonderful upbringing that her father was undertaking. I would meet him (his name starts with G, for the sake of this narration let's call him Gairik) occasionally during the school parent-teacher meets. With the passage of time I had built a nice friendship with Gairik and I knew that he liked me quite a bit. He would often go out of his way to make things easier for me and to drop my daughter home from his house after she and Durba has spent the evening together. I liked G as a parent, and also as a man, and had often wondered what circumstances led to the separation of such a complete man from his wife. Subconsciously, at times I actually used to be on the lookout for him on the evenings when he would come to drop my daughter home, but never expressed it to him because I thought it would constitute behaviour "inappropriate" for a married woman. Sometimes on my request he would stay back a while at my house for a short chit-chat before returning home. He often made very polite requests for us to go somewhere for a cup of coffee; and just so that I didn’t feel uncomfortable he would mention that we can bring our kids along, almost as a guarantor that the parents won't do anything naughty. The wishful request was never fulfilled despite both of us wanting to. Despite the infrequent meets, our friendship grew still and we addressed each other informally enough and banter over phone-calls in the evenings, almost always ending with a promise to 'get-together sometime soon'.

It was one of those days at work, when there was a high-importance agenda meeting to take place in my office, and things were pretty going all topsy-turvy in the preparations therefor, that the school authorities called me. The conversation was on the following lines.

"Mrs. Shefaali, we regret to inform you that the bus service on your route has broken down and you need to come over to collect your daughter". "Oh! But I am about to get into a meeting in another fifteen minutes". "We are really sorry but you need to come over and collect your ward. Or else you need to have someone else collect her from the school". "But I don't have anyone else at home who could come over now". "We understand your inconvenience, but this is an emergency situation. Please reach before xx:xx because the school authorities will not be in office after that. Thank you for your cooperation". And the line was disconnected.

For the next few moments I broke into a cold sweat, unable to figure out how to manage both the sides. My phone rang again and I answered it even without checking who the caller was.

"Shefaali, Gairik bolchi" (This is Gairik calling). "Han Gairik, balo" (Yeah, tell me). "Shono, the school called and ..." (Listen...). "Han jani, ki korbo bujhte parchi na, ekhane bhishon important ekta meeting suru hote choleche" (I know, I cant figure out what to do, I have a very important meeting starting in a few min from now). "Shefaali, kono chinta koro na, ami Durba-ke ante jacchi, Prodiptaa (my daughter, not her real name) keo niye aschi. Ora dui bondhu amar kachei thakuk. Tumi nischinte office-er kaaj sesh kore amake call koro, ami eshe tomake office theke pick up kore nebo" (don't worry. I will collect your daughter along with mine and the two friends can stay together at my place. Call me once your work is over and I will come over to collect you from your office). 'Oh Gairik, eta koto boro help tumi nijeo jano na" (Gairik, this is a very big help from you). "Charo to osob formality, jao kaaj koro, edikta ami samle nicchi" (don't be so formal, go and complete your work, I will manage this side).

The meeting went long and still showed no signs of conclusion. When I asked my boss for the permission he was most reluctant to let me go, but the situation was such that he couldn’t refuse. But it came with a warning that this is the first and the last time he is letting me go when there is a VIP client in the meeting.

I called Gairik.

"Gairik?" "Haan Shefaali, bolo? Meeting sesh hoyeche?" (Tell me Shefaali, is your meeting over?) "Haan, I mean sesh hoyni, kintu allow koreche phirte ajker moton" (the meeting isnt over but I have been exempted and allowed to return for today). "Darun khobor. Tumi okhanei thako. Ami aschi tomake pick up korte" (excellent news. Be there and I am coming over to pick you up). "Ami cab niye chole aste pari, tumi keno unneccesarily asbe? tai asbo?" (I can hail a cab and come over. Why do you want to take unneccesary trouble. Should I?) "Shefaali, office theke ek pa-o berobe na. Okhanei darao, ami ekkhooni aschi" (don't take a single step out of the office. I will be right there). "Accha baba. Esho." (Ok, ok. Come), I said, as I smiled and hung up the phone. I don't know what made me smile. Was it because I don't have to take the trouble of getting a transport back home? Was it because my daughter is safe and cared for? or was it because I would get to meet Gairik, just me and him in the car?

to be continued...

Nice blog

Thank you very much.

Please complete your story about your first encounter with your stag, how he managed to make you meet him?

Maybe someday I will...

Such intensity and passion in massaging is usually in my husband... And my bf from the swimming club who is a big time boob lover.

I have been fortunate. All my bulls found me attractive enough to pursue and capture. I never had to try too hard to convince the prospective bull. Often the bulls have themselves proposed to host me for the few required glorious hours either at their apartments or their hotel rooms.

Yeah I meant you at your age now, but thanks for answering

Thanks. Yes, there have been instances where I have been with men in their early twenties now. Quite infrequent, but yes, happens.

Whenever I get tired of all the anti-masculine sentiment so prevalent in western culture I come here to your blog. It is almost restorative to read the musings of a woman who genuinely seems to enjoy men and everything about. Here we are made to feel guilty and ashamed for wanting a woman. You not only enjoy being wanted you appear to revel in it. I wish you a wonderful day sexy woman.

Thank you for the message. I have respect for all of them who are fighting for the social justice for women. But I think the fight is often misinterpreted as a fight against men. It isn’t. The enemy is the system, not the men. It is just that that some men have created the system and yet some men have been following it like gospel. It is not that the entire ‘man’-kind is at fault.

The men that I have been mentally associated with have all displayed the single characteristic of utmost respect to women and seeing a woman as an equal partner in their life. I think the other thing that may have confused some is about the particular behaviour of man-kind during the act of physical union. Behaviour at that phase is NOT necessarily what constitutes the behaviour of the man overall. Some men, my two husbands included, who I am soul mates with, change their behaviour when it comes to deriving pleasure from their woman, and I have absolutely no problem with acknowledging or encouraging them to let them exert all their ‘ownership’ over me at that time. Deep down I already know the respect that they have for me, and I am most willingly open to be their wanton whore when they demand me to be.

Similar behaviour is exhibited by some of the bulls that I am sent to. One of the primary traits that my stag looks for in a bull is the combination of masculinity and respectfulness. In other words, the bulls that I am eventually made available to for them to ‘hunt’ me down (it’s usually always letting them believe that they hunted me down, instead of being served on a plate, to make them feel they need to cherish their win thereafter) have in most occasions displayed both these natures. In some instances, a few of those who i have played a courtesan with may have been outliers and bordered mostly on the masculinity trait, but then that’s fine too. I am not looking for any association with them and the game ends with us getting dressed once he has made himself happy.

Not sure if I could articulate my views properly, but am happy to answer further if you wanted.