Yesterday, I was trawling iTunes for a decent podcast about writing. After a while, I gave up, because 90% of them talked incessantly about “self-discipline,” “making writing a habit,” “getting your butt in the chair,” “getting yourself to write.” To me, that’s six flavors of fucked up.
Okay, yes—I see why we might want to “make writing a habit.” If we want to finish anything, we’ll have to write at least semi-regularly. In practical terms, I get it.
But maybe before we force our butts into chairs, we should ask why it’s so hard to “get” ourselves to write. We aren’t deranged; our brains say “I don’t want to do this” for a reason. We should take that reason seriously.
Most of us resist writing because it hurts and it’s hard. Well, you say, writing isn’t supposed to be easy—but there’s hard, and then there’s hard. For many of us, sitting down to write feels like being asked to solve a problem that is both urgent and unsolvable—“I have to, but it’s impossible, but I have to, but it’s impossible.” It feels fucking awful, so naturally we avoid it.
We can’t “make writing a habit,” then, until we make it less painful. Something we don’t just “get” ourselves to do.
The “make writing a habit” people are trying to do that, in their way. If you do something regularly, the theory goes, you stop dreading it with such special intensity because it just becomes a thing you do. But my god, if you’re still in that “dreading it” phase and someone tells you to “make writing a habit,” that sounds horrible.
So many of us already dismiss our own pain constantly. If we turn writing into another occasion for mute suffering, for numb and joyless endurance, we 1) will not write more, and 2) should not write more, because we should not intentionally hurt ourselves.
Seriously. If you want to write more, don’t ask, “how can I make myself write?” Ask, “why is writing so painful for me and how can I ease that pain?” Show some compassion for yourself. Forgive yourself for not being the person you wish you were and treat the person you are with some basic decency. Give yourself a fucking break for avoiding a thing that makes you feel awful.
Daniel José Older, in my favorite article on writing ever, has this to say to the people who admonish writers to write every day:
Here’s what stops more people from writing than anything else: shame. That creeping, nagging sense of ‘should be,’ ‘should have been,’ and ‘if only I had…’ Shame lives in the body, it clenches our muscles when we sit at the keyboard, takes up valuable mental space with useless, repetitive conversations. Shame, and the resulting paralysis, are what happen when the whole world drills into you that you should be writing every day and you’re not.
The antidote, he says, is to treat yourself kindly:
For me, writing always begins with self-forgiveness. I don’t sit down and rush headlong into the blank page. I make coffee. I put on a song I like. I drink the coffee, listen to the song. I don’t write. Beginning with forgiveness revolutionizes the writing process, returns its being to a journey of creativity rather than an exercise in self-flagellation. I forgive myself for not sitting down to write sooner, for taking yesterday off, for living my life. That shame? I release it. My body unclenches; a new lightness takes over once that burden has floated off. There is room, now, for story, idea, life.
Writing has the potential to bring us so much joy. Why else would we want to do it? But first we’ve got to unlearn the pain and dread and anxiety and shame attached to writing—not just so we can write more, but for our own sakes! Forget “making writing a habit”—how about “being less miserable”? That’s a worthy goal too!
Luckily, there are ways to do this. But before I get into them, please absorb this lesson: if you want to write, start by valuing your own well-being. Start by forgiving yourself. And listen to yourself when something hurts.
Next post: freewriting
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This website goes into more detail about using multiple POVs.
Chapter 3 of my John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir (Sparky) fanfic “A Halloween Negotiation” has been posted. This chapter takes place after they leave the Halloween party early.
Chapters: 3/? Fandom: The Mallorca Files (TV 2019) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Miranda Blake/Max Winter Characters: Miranda Blake, Max Winter, Inés Villegas Additional Tags: Wintake, post-series 3, Canon Divergent, Feelings Realization, Series 3 Episode 4 "Water Water" Mention, Undercover as a Couple Summary:
It’s Valentine’s Day, and it’s the first one since Max broke up with Carmen six months ago. Miranda tries to cheer Max up. Also, they go undercover as a couple again.
Claire, i love you and your writing. As a writer, how do you support yourself financially? Emotionally? But mostly some practical tips on keeping yourself afloat and doing what you love. cheers xo
Hi friend! I’ve blogged before a couple different times on my life as a writer and my advice to other people who want to write professionally, so here without further ado is Claire’s Master List of Blog Posts About Writing Advice!
Anonymous asked: how did you get into writing and getting published?
Anonymous asked: Hi my dear! I recently read that you’re a playwright, I thought a lot about it and afraid to ask you but here I am, sorry if it’s a little inappropriate question but this topic is very interesting for me because now I choose where I want to go. Please, can you tell me where you studied for the playwright? Thank you, love you and your blog Xх
Anonymous asked: any tips on how to keep inspiration and motivation when writing? im trying to finish this t100 fic, took a break after several days of continuous writing but now i can’t seem to get it back!
Anonymous asked: This may be a really random question, but did you always know you wanted to be a novel writer, or did you kind of think about other forms of writing like TV etc. ? Or if not, how would you advise someone who isn’t sure which one to put their energy into? Don’t worry if you can’t answer this 😅
I hope this is helpful! Happy writing!
Love,
Claire
No matter how many times you fail to meet your own expectations, you have to forgive yourself. Despite contrary belief, dwelling on and badgering yourself over your faults doesn’t ever help you grow into who you want to be.
It’s like gardening: if your flower isn’t blossoming like you want it to, you don’t rip out its leaves as punishment for failing to satisfy you. You recognize the problem and figure out what’s going wrong with its environment so you can modify it, giving the flower a chance to bloom in its own time.
Accept your shortcoming or setback, forgive yourself, and figure out what’s going wrong so that you can plan for how to prevent it from repeating in the future. Thank your past self for trying in the first place and then give your future self the love needed to flourish.
Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Stargate Atlantis Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir, Teyla Emmagan & Elizabeth Weir Characters: John Sheppard, Elizabeth Weir, Teyla Emmagan, Rodney McKay, Carson Beckett, Ronon Dex, Radek Zelenka Additional Tags: Fluff and Humor, Dialogue Heavy, Romance, Matchmaking, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Happy Ending Summary:
: An AU story, which involves Dr. Elizabeth Weir and Lt. Col. John Sheppard, getting married in the name of alien diplomacy. Later chapters will be rated “M.”
Chapters: 2/? Fandom: The Mallorca Files (TV 2019) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Miranda Blake/Max Winter Characters: Miranda Blake, Max Winter Additional Tags: Wintake, married Wintake, Established Relationship, Post-Season/Series 03, Not Canon Compliant, Pregnancy, Babyfic, Fluff, Domestic Fluff Summary:
After their honeymoon, Miranda surprises Max by buying them both breakfast.
-Peggy Carter’s funeral would have been more than 3 minutes long.
-Tony Stark would have given a eulogy to Peggy, having grown up admiring her, his dad’s colleague of many years, a tremendously strong female role model (the woman who approved Pepper’s hire, of course).
-Steve Rogers would not have put the moves on Peggy’s niece within a day of burying Peggy.
-Black Widow would have gotten her own movie by now.
-A big part of Bucky’s backstory/flashbacks would have been told through Natasha’s viewpoint, her memories of either working with or against The Winter Soldier in Russia and the East.
-Pepper Potts would have been in Civil War, speaking for herself.
-Wanda’s grief over her brother would still be very present. Her feelings of loss and mourning would be front-and-center for her character.
-Black Panther’s woman bodyguard would have had more than one line.
-Natasha would have told Steve that she was at Peggy’s funeral in part because she didn’t want him to be alone, but also in part to pay respects to the great Peggy Carter.
-There would be way more women in these movies. There would be women of many ages, ethnicities, sexual orientations, and nationalities in these movies. There would be many scenes of women talking to women. There would be many more scenes of women talking. And doing. And feeling. And being.
Aspiring author, Fan of Star Trek Voyager, Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, The 100, Marvel's Agent Carter, Sparky (John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir), Kabby, Sam/Jack, and J/C are my OTP's
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