Supportourgoddesses - Avere Grilli Per La Testa

The queer community is it’s own worst enemy.   

It’s gay men and lesbians against bisexual people, who “just need to choose.” Angry spitfires who say asexual people aren’t really part of the community, aren’t really human. Cisgendered queers who degrade and dehumanize trans and non binary people.   

We put each other in boxes. We tell one another that there’s something false about that person’s LGBTQ+ identity. We say “you don’t belong, you have to fit into this cookie cutter. You can’t be that one, or none at all.” There’s always something wrong with you, but if you were to be something else, then you’ll be part of the community. We’ll finally get equal rights, if only you change. 

Get married, adopt kids. Don’t be poor, don’t be disabled, don’t be a person of color. You can be queer, but not too much, because then they won’t help us. You’ll scare them away. You can come under the umbrella, but if you’re this-or-that, we’ll push you out into the rain. 

This is what assimilation does to people. It pits them against each other, because everyone is holding themselves to a standard of a people that is not their own. And it isn’t just the LGBTQ+ community that does it. 

 ~ “You’re dark skinned - you’re not as good, not as clean, as people with light skin.”   ~ “You’re light skinned - you’re not black enough. Who do you think you are?” 

 ~ “You speak Spanish, so you’re living in the past; you aren’t ‘American’ enough.”  ~ “You don’t speak Spanish, so you aren’t in touch with you’re Latinx roots.” 

And round and round in circles. No one is safe, no one is free. There are too many eyes, too many boxes, and so an identity is scattered like loose change. A people forgets that they are all the same blood, in an effort to dilute it. This is what assimilation does to a people. Society hurts the community, which hurts the individual. All people, vs. your people, vs. you. 

To be queer is to be gifted with an eye-opening experience that never truly ends. It’s a life-long journey of discovery, about who you are and how you want to express that. It’s a description, not a definition. The LGBTQ+ community is vibrant, diverse, and all-encompassing. To be a part of it is to belong, to learn, and to gain friendship. It spans the globe, it brings out the best in people. Your never really stop seeing it’s beauty.   

But it’s made to be something else. It’s told it must be a set of easily identified categories. Queer people are told that they must fit one of these categories, and stick to it. Their identity must be a tight package to fit into. It must be easily understood and easily explained, because God forbid we confuse anyone! And so the queer individual suffers. 

And when the person suffers, so does the community.

Small Steps: Household Chores Edition

to produce less trash, don’t use dryer sheets (they don’t really do anything anyway)

scrape plates rather than rinsing them before you put them in the dishwasher - they’re gonna get wet anyway

sweep first, then vacuum what you couldn’t get - it saves electricity

Hey, it’s the little things - home cleaning doesn't have to be as wasteful as it could be. We sometimes think that our tiny daily habits don’t have an effect on anything else, but added up, it’s resulted in where we are today. The things you were taught in kindergarten, about littering and recycling - they wanted you to know that stuff for a reason. Preserving our planet is more important than ever, wether you care about keeping trash out of the oceans or the effects of deforestation.   

It isn’t all money and politics, though the actions of global leaders can do a lot of good - or bad. This is our world, our future, and we have a responsibility to make it a good one. Start small, and work your way up from there. Changing our habits seems daunting, but just keeping these little alternatives in mind will help you remember next time. And for a good cause, why not?

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In the past few weeks, turning on the news every day is another sensation of “Yep. Been there, done that. What else is new?” 

I’m talking about sexual assault. All the recent publicity and endless accusations from women - what do you think we’ve been putting up with since the beginning of time? I’m grateful for the actual acknowledgement - it’s about time women were heard, and our society started working toward a safer future. But I can’t help feeling bitter that it’s taken this long. No matter where she was, what she did, or what she looked like, every woman from every time period has had to fear the kind of behavior. Maybe there was less risk than in other places, but across centuries and miles and nations, it has been a collective fear. It isn’t our fault, our actions, our clothes, it’s because we live in a society where women have less of a worth. In a society that has made us have less of a worth.  

I often wonder what actually goes through the mind of the man assaulting or raping a woman. We say we don’t want it, we tell you no, but still you keep coming. It’s frightening. It’s disturbing. The behavior being broadcasted recently makes us feel unsafe and confused. Why would you do something to someone, when your actions are clearly having a negative impact on the person? Why is it so difficult to grasp the basic human indecency it takes to not heed other’s reactions, and therefore the severity of this problem? You wouldn’t hit a little kid when he clearly didn’t welcome the action. But you would do something much more intimate with a woman? 

And that’s just the thing: “with a woman.” Sexual assault and rape everywhere should be a no-no. It shouldn’t just be about women and our rights - but it is, and that makes the battle that much harder, hence my statement from earlier. Women and girls everywhere are told to change their behavior - their own, not that of their attacker! - to avoid being violated in such a way. We are taught that it is our fault - not that of a world where the wrong lessons are taught to children. Such societal messages are exactly why there are ignorant, arrogant men in power, and why they make the mistakes women are blamed for. A cycle that must be broken.   

We can blame men all we want - and some definitely deserve it. But what the most recent accusations show, the “newest” revelation is that our society is to blame. Women have less of a say, but men are also held to such low expectations. We must work together - men and women, assaulted and accused - to raise the next generation so that they’ll make the world safer and more equal for all. Let’s teach them to do better than we have.

Small Steps #2: Hygiene Edition

Turn off the water while brushing your teeth.

Use a washcloth for washing your face, rather than running the faucet.

In the shower, turn the water off while you wash yourself. Lather, then rinse at the end - more water saved in a shorter amount of bath time.

Rinse, lather, rinse, and you’re done. Little habits aren’t so hard to break, or make; just keep these details in your head, and you’ll remember more and more often when the time comes. That bit of extra effort will be good for your water bill and the environment. The effect of your actions isn’t as small as you think, so let’s make sure it’s a good one.

We are at a point where Israelis can slaughter civilians in Gaza and the West Bank with total impunity. This is worse than what we saw in apartheid South Africa and Rhodesia. The closest analogue is the European colonization of the Americas, where killing was done for sport and resistance was annihilated.

think most people do not grasp the magnitude of this horror. Imagine living under the thumb of an occupying regime that is bent on eradicating your community, either through forced removal or genocide, and if you resist this in any way - anything from armed struggle to poetry or journalism - you will be assassinated, or imprisoned and tortured indefinitely, and your family and loved ones will be bombed.

The first tweet should read, “and the response to resistance was campaigns of annihilation.” Because, despite generations of genocidal violence, the resistance lives. In the Americas and in Gaza too it lives, and in all who refuse to accept dehumanisation.

I went to a mosque! We took a tour, saw some cool architecture and rooms and stuff, and asked a Muslim woman a bunch of questions. We sat and listened to her explain stuff in a room dedicated to prayer, with rugs and everything. Really interesting, I recommend that everyone try and learn about Islam at a mosque if you can. The woman talked for a while, about the five times of prayer, about Ramadan, about the Quran and a lot of very interesting facts and tidbits about the religion in general. I wish every Islamaphobe could hear what she had to say: Islam truly is a beautiful and peaceful religion. I felt very calm and attentive in the quiet, airy, open-door room. 

 Here are some things our tour guide explained to us, which I thought I’d share with you: yes, they are about feminism. 

 When people pray at a mosque, which is optional, there are separate rooms for men and women. This isn’t because women aren’t allowed to interact with men as inferior, but to protect them from *cough* unwanted attention. If not in the same room, women usually have their own rows or sections: not b/c they aren’t allowed to interact with men, but because when kneeling and praying, you are shoulder to shoulder with the people next to you. No woman necessarily wants to be that close to an unknown man during prayer. Women usually are behind the men as well. That isn’t b/c they are inferior, but because no woman wants a guy checking her out while she kneels or places her forehead to the floor. It’s to protect them, not prove they have less of a worth. 

The Hijab isn’t a symbol of oppression for women, contrary to popular belief. It represents modesty, which applies to both men and women. They are humble if they wear a headscarf, though not all do. I can see some nitpickers like myself argue “Well, why do women have to show their modesty with the hijab when men don’t have to wear anything extra?” I don’t know, but that presumed inequality is countered by the Quran phrase "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and protect their private parts. This is more purer for them. Indeed Allah is Well-Aware of what they do.”(Sarah Nur: 30). So really, neither sexes are permitted to flaunt their sexuality. It’s all good, people. Most muslim women cover themselves head to toe in thick, flowing clothing, so that no skin shows. This isn’t b/c they aren’t supposed to show themselves or flaunt their sexuality, though that is part of it. When women go out in such an outfit, they are telling men that they are not to be judged for their body. Their physical form is reserved for their family members, and outside men have no right to it. It’s Muslim feminism.  

What I want in 2019 - a prevention plan for climate change. preferably involving lots of solar panels and immigrant employees. - an end to world hunger. preferably involving sustainable agriculture and lots of international aid. - for everyone to have access to clean water. See my ‘World Water Day’ post for details. 

And hey, @ my classmates - stop using ‘gay’ as an insult. It ain’t cute. 

ooh, y’know what would be even better!? Let’s have everyone stop saying “he or she” or “his or hers” to refer to someone who’s gender we don’t know. Doesn’t matter the context - its unnecessary and cis-normative and hard on the tongue. If you wanna be fancy and impress your friends, try saying “guys, gals, and non-binary pals,” (as coined by Thomas Sanders). Or just use “they”. “They” is fine, guys. 

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Every man on the radio these days is telling his crush how beautiful she is. He’s crooning “How can you not see how beautiful you are? You capture my attention every time you step in a room, and I would do anything if I could tell you so each day.” His crush, a girl with immense physical attraction, does not know how many are captivated by her, and he takes it upon himself to gush to her about her own gorgeousness. A good sentiment, kind hearted, for how many girls out there are self-conscious about their body, hair, features? Isn’t it every girl’s dream to be noticed by a guy who looks at her as though she is his everything?   

    But what if this girl, being serenaded by every male pop star out there, was aware that she was beautiful? What if you complimented her, and she responded with “Thanks! I thought this dress looked nice too.” Would the man she’s wooed be attracted to her self-assured stride, the way she holds her chin high - or would she seem too arrogant for his ego? Would she be more appealing for her confidence, her knowledge that she is exactly where she’s meant to be, or would he loose interest because the need to shower her with appreciation is gone?   

    These are questions in our society that must be asked. Are men more attracted to weak, unsure women, or determined ones who know the only person they need are themselves? Why? Why does a woman have to conform to men’s standards of how much self-love you can have? The only person a woman needs to keep her happy and strong is herself. She does not need to have you gush through the false speakers of the radio to tell her she is beautiful. She’s not arrogant for knowing she deserves the world, she is not a “bitch” for condescendingly thanking the whistlers on the corner, she is not stuck-up for taking compliments and knowing they have a reason to be said.   

    But a girl at peace with herself is deemed unattractive by a man who wants to be emotionally dominant in a relationship. Because a girl is not supposed to know her own self worth.