There Are Days Were The Things In My Head Are Shamelessly Hopeful And Therefore Completely Illusory.

There are days were the things in my head are shamelessly hopeful and therefore completely illusory.

But “I must dare to dream”, right?

Venice 25

He thought about Armie’s comment when they stood ready to go in front of the mirror.

*

He got out of the car and the crowd screamed.

He was in Venice. Venice Film Festival, September 2025, premiere of Dune 3. The last act.

He loved being in Venice.

Again he wore a handmade outfit by Haider.

A kind of homage to his red sequined outfit from 3 years ago, again a neck-holder, again backless, but this time made of a robust and hard material, fine wire rings interwoven, heavy silver chains in between, a modern chain shirt. Plus some 70s punk rock vibe: leather pants, his boots with the silver heels, silver rings and bracelets on fingers and wrist, a black painted fingernail and a silver choker around his neck.

The outfit felt good, it made him feel strong and forearmed, even if right now he didn't think he needed that. Much more the outfit matched his mood, wanting to kick ass, because that's what he would do now, what they would do now.

He waved briefly to the crowd, the first flash of lightning thundering down on him, and then he held out his hand, just a little, casually, as he always did when he just wanted his partner a little closer, and couldn't help but grin happily as Armie got out of the car.

Armie looked extremely dapper in that deep-dark Tom Ford suit with a fancy little applique on the lapel, and Tim couldn't have been prouder of his partner, of his man, of his husband.

And that was it. Armie was now standing next to him, his warm hand gently running over Tim’s bare back and resting on his hip. They smiled into the cameras. Together, side by side. The way it had been private forever, the way it should be possible in public, too. It felt good and right.

He didn't care if there were hostile comments among the cheers now. The crowd that kept cheering was there and the one that mattered was standing next to him.

Armie.

Armie and him, for all the world to see.

“You look like some kiss ass rock star who has his bodyguard with him just to fuck him.”

It was the right time for them now.

The big blockbusters had been shot, he had a few more awards on his record, he had built a good network, he would be shooting with Scorsese and directors he adored. What more did he want?

He was sure that even if a few offers fell through now, he would still be making films he wanted to make. Maybe he would make less money, but as long as he could keep doing what he loved the most, something that he couldn’t live without, it would be enough now.

Armie smiled at him warmly, towering beside him and he smiled back. What had often taken them so much effort to hide was now there for all the world to see.

There was a rush in his head, his heart was pounding wildly, they had played this day out in his head for too long, too many emotions attached to it, and yet it was pride that trumped everything.

And then a gentle touch of Armie’s hand on his back and Armie was buttoning up his jacket, stepping into the background. Stephane stood on the sidelines and Armie joined him. Tim was alone again, continuing to pose for the photographers, responding to the "Timmy" calls, and although Armie was now no longer next to him, he was still more with him than ever.

When his bodyguard motioned him to go to the fans to sign autographs, he couldn’t say that he wasn’t afraid at that moment.

He tried not to listen, but of course he did hear a few things.

“Are you two really together or is this some kind of PR?”

“Are you gay?”

“How long has it been going on with you guys?”

Later he would say:

I prefer to keep my private life private. I'm with Armie but the rest is non of your business.

Then why this now?

Because I wanted to share this special moment with my partner. And the world can stop worrying about who I'm with. There should be more important things.

So are you gay?

I think we live in a society where we should be long past asking someone about their sexuality because they are with someone of the same sex.

There wouldn't be much more about them from them. Even if the whole world wanted to know everything.

For now he didn't say anything. With trembling hands he wrote autograph after autograph, took selfies, accepted gifts, and when he realized it was no different than usual, he found his voice again, the feeling of happiness increased, as did the selfies with stuck out tongue and middle finger and the joy to kick ass.

"You look amazing!"

"I love you so much!"

The hate would play out anonymously elsewhere, he knew.

Finally, he sprinted back to the red carpet, photos with Zendaya, photos with Dennis, photos with the whole cast. He felt like he was about to burst, brimming with energy, roaring and beaming, his kick-ass energy constantly alternated with pure pure joy. In between, he kept glancing over at Armie, who was smiling happily at him and apparently commenting dryly with Stephane on the whole happening.

Whatever was to come, as it was now, it was the right thing to do. Now had been the right time, and because it was the right time, they had not wanted to wait any longer, he had not wanted to wait any longer.

It was strange to be in that auditorium and watch the movie while outside the news would spread through the world like a forest fire. But he didn't mind.

Armie had been in a play, had taken small roles in television series, and next year Timmy would produce a small indie film starring him. They slowly got things going.

And even if they didn't, he would turn 30 at the end of this year. He had changed. For some time now, they had thought about having a family of their own. They were ready for change, for their new chapter in life, whatever it would look like.

As he walked into the building, and Armie walked beside him, smiling at him, their fingers casually interlocked. And that small, unspectacular touch meant everything to Tim. No boundaries, no hiding, just being themselves.

Dennis had supported him.

"I'm not sure we would have made it to Venice again with the third part without you and your collaboration with Haider. They love you! So take it, it's yours!"

Now they got Amargaddon. They would see how it would affect the box office, but he was grateful to have Dennis' blessing on it.

He loved being in this sheltered place with colleagues, friends and Armie.

Tim had wanted Armie to sit near him, so he heard him cheering in the row behind him when his name appeared on the screen, and turned with a grin when he heard him laughing dirty at a Harkonnen joke. It felt good to have him there. Very good.

When they all hugged during the applause after the movie, he turned around and hugged Armie too, and although they hadn't talked about it before, when Armie slid his hand down Tim's neck and gave him a kiss on the mouth, as other couples would, Tim couldn't stop grinning.

He knew there would be blurry video of that kiss. There wouldn't be much else, but at least they could offer that to their fans.

As they left the movie theater, as they made their way to the hotel, shouting cheerful see-you-later’s to the others, the fog in Tim's head cleared, the buzzing slowly diminished, and when he saw an undisturbed corner, he pulled Armie into it, into his arms and never let go. Armie did the same, squeezing him so tight he almost couldn't breathe.

For quite a while they were just standing there, crying and laughing and hugging and feeling all these feelings they felt. Together.

He felt all the tension inside him release. The tension that he didn't even know was inside him. The prison that they knew how to ignore so much that they had forgotten the freedom they lacked.

"We did it, Armie."

"Yes, we did."

And when he heard Armie's brittle voice, tears came to him, too, and he had to hold Armie even a little tighter.

"It really does feel as good as they say, doesn’t it?"

"It does."

Clap your hands for Tinkerbell them.

Later that evening, they had a carefree premiere party with lots of laughter, dancing and singing. They were happy, they were them. Some more blurry pictures would show that and it was fine.

And even if it was none of the world's business that they were together, it was an incredible feeling that the world knew now.

*