Thechaoticgentleman - No One, Yet.

I sat there in an almost peaceful silence, if not for the thoughts swishing back and forth in my mind like a broken washing machine, I'd have thought it tranquil. I felt myself choke, I choke and all the thoughts I couldn't swallow. If I felt any better I would have made a joke there, I'm sure you can fill in the blanks. I tried adjusting, maybe the thoughts would disappear like that. They didn't, they bubbled menacingly, they twirled in circle infornt of my eyes. A shuddering gasp for air broke the silence. And then another. A few more as my vision blurred in the dim lighting. It didn't sound like me, rather, like someone else was there, someone else's desperate grabbing for air, someone else's breif and lonely wimper, not my own. I tried to gather myself, I didn't even know what I was crying for. I needed something to block out the quiet cries, before they became racking sobs. Something to put the incessant thoughts to rest, if only for a while.

You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right

There are two types of people:

The person who lends books to their friends books while looking them dead in the eyes and saying "If any harm comes to this tome, beloved and sacred to me, you will feel the wrath of the gods, and I will take it upon myself to harvest your soul"

The type of person to read their books in the rain, turn the lights down low and murmur the words on the pages softly in prayer, dog-ear and annotate the pages, and walk while reading which does not end well for any of the parties involved

I am both of those people.

So I have a but of a theory Im working on but I need some data so:

*ADHD and Autism are separated out from other neurodivergences for theory reasons. If you have one of those, pick the relevant option for those not the non-ADHD/Autism ones, and vice versa

Also, if you consider yourself something else like an ambivert, just pick the closest/more common option

As always reblog for more data points

When someone else says they had a "main charcater moment" : I climbed to the top of this hill as the sun was setting and it was magical

Me: I got so distracted biking home that I fell into a pile of leaves and knocked off my bike chain and made my handle bars crooked :D

I realize that nothing i do on tumblr is really “academic”, thats because im just someone who doesn’t like the current state of the world, likes finding out things; science, mythology, moral, and everything human. And enjoys the general ideal of a academic and chaotic lifestyle

Inspiration comes from basically anywhere, but sometimes I want something to occupy my mind as I live. So I make stories from small fragments of inspiration. Usually agitation, if I'm being honest. Sometimes they come from small bits of hope. Those are always my favorite.

Today I believe it was hope. Maybe optimistically, I want to believe it was hope.

My goal in life is to have one post blow up and when people look at my profile to see more of this mastery, they are throughly disappointed.

i am currently out on my deck in -1 weather in only shorts and a hoodie, drinking ice coffee with a bit of flavored creamer (we ran out of milk), and about 4 scoops of sugar, listening to kinda chill but angry music, trying to finish the last 100 pages of "The Da Vinci code" before tomorrow because i wanted to.