I Think One Of The Weirdest Side Effects Of Being A Writer Is That While I'm Reading, I'll Just Start

More on Epic!Ares cause "The Lovers" section of God Games will not get out of my head. The thing I don't think fans are recognizing is that Ares's last line "pathetic and weak like his son" is very deliberately meant to provoke Athena, it's meant to test why she's doing this.

Consider how Telemachus went into the fight with Antinous, he didn't have a plan, only a goal, and he stood his ground, no cunning techniques only fists. Which is something Ares would agree with doing, not only that but remember what Antinous and the suitors want to do to Penelope, why Telemachus was fighting in the first place. Ares is a god known to be a defender of women, one of his biggest myths is about him killing a son of Poseidon because he assaulted his daughter. Considering that he likely wouldn't call Telemachus weak unless it was to get to Athena.

Which it did and that show of love and protectiveness over Telemachus is what convinced both Ares and Aphrodite to let Odysseus go. They are not ruled by logic and objectivity, which is what prepared her for Hera and Zeus, with Hera, Odysseus never cheating isn't a logical argument but it's what would work on Hera. With Zeus it was more important, Athena showing emotion and showing that vulnerability gave her the ability to sacrifice her pride. At the end of the song she begs Zeus to let Odysseus go, not longer being the "selfish, prideful and vain" Goddess that she was when her and Odysseus parted ways.

Pick One: Magical Girl Show or Rom-com. You cannot be both.

Early in season four we get the episode Gang of Secrets. An episode that ends with Marinette outing her secret identity to Alya. A touching moment that sparked outrage across the fandom because it meant that Marinette had made the choice to reveal her identity to her best friend while keeping her hero partner in the dark.

This choice spat in the face of the exceptions that many fans had for the series. Thousands of pre-season-four fanfics feature moments where Ladybug and Chat Noir promise each other that they'll be the first to know each other's identities. After the Alya reveal, scores of fanfics were written to salt on Marinette's choice to tell the "wrong" person.

Most of these fics feature a betrayed Chat Noir quitting or otherwise punishing Ladybug for breaking their promise to be each other's first, thereby destroying his faith in their partnership. But that promise was never made on screen. It only existed in the realms of fanfic and, when Chat Noir finally found out in canon, his reaction was largely neutral. He never once blamed Ladybug for her choice or pushed for a reveal or even asked for the right to tell one of his friends.

So what happened here? Why did the fans have such wildly unrealistic expectations of canon? Were their expectations even unrealistic or did canon betray them? The answer to that is not as straight forward as you might think because it all comes back to one of Miraculous' many, many, many writing problems: Miraculous is trying to be both a Magical Girl Show and a romantic comedy, but those are not genres that mesh. You can only be one (or you can be a third thing that we'll get to at the end as it's the easiest way to fix this mess, but I want to mostly focus on where the anger is coming from and why the writing is to blame.)

To discuss this mismatch, we're going to do something that breaks my heart and talk about some of Origins flaws. While I love that episode and unironically refer to it as the best writing the show ever gave us, it's not perfect and its flaws are all focused around trying to set up both genres. Do note that I'm going to use a lot of gender binary language here as magical girl shows have a strong focus on gender segregation and rarely if ever acknowledge gender diversity.

Let's Talk Magical Girls

Magical girl shows are shows that center on young women and their friendships. While male love interests are often present in these shows, the boys tend to take a backseat and function primarily as arm candy while the girls save the day and carry the narrative.

A great example of this is the show Winx Club. This show features a large cast of teenage girls who save the magical universe from various threats with their magical powers. Each girl has a love interest, but the boys are usually off doing their own thing and only occasionally show up for a date or to give the girls a ride on their cool bikes or magical spaceship. I don't even think that we see the guys fight or, if we do, it's a rare thing. They are not there to save the day. They are there to be shipping fodder.

Like most magical girl shows, Winx Club starts with the main character making friends with one of the girls who will eventually become part of her magical girl squad. This brings us back to Miraculous.

Did you ever find it weird that Origins implies that Marinette has no friends? She doesn't even have a backbone until new girl Alya shows up to become Marinette's First Real Friend:

Marinette: I so wish I can handle Chloé the way you do. Alya: You mean the way Majestia does it. She says all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing. (pointing at Chloé) Well, that girl over there is evil, and we are the good people. We can't let her get away with it.

This is a bizarre opening because Miraculous is not about Marinette making friends or learning to stand up for herself. If you skipped Origins and just watched the rest of the show, then you'd have no clue that Marinette wasn't close with her classmates before this year. You also wouldn't know that Alya was new in town and you definitely wouldn't know that Marinette had never stood up to Chloé before this year. So why is this here? Why waste screen time setting up elements that aren't actually important to canon?

Miraculous did it for the same reason that Winx Club did it: magical girl shows traditionally start with the main character making friends with at least one of her eventual female teammates because Magical Girl shows are all about the girls and their relationships. The boys are just arm candy.

But Miraculous isn't a magical girl show. The writers have explicitly stated that it's a rom-com and romantic comedies aren't about female friendship. They might have female friendships in them, but that's not where the focus is. The focus of a rom-com is on the romance and Origins is very clearly all about the romance.

Origins as a Rom-com

Origins has a lot on its plate. It has to establish the villain's motivation for the first time, show us how the heroes got their miraculous, show us how the heroes first met on both sides of the mask, show us how they met their respective best friends, and show us how the heroes dealt with their first akuma. It would be perfectly understandable if this 40 minute two-parter didn't do anything with the romance. They have a full show to give us that!

In spite of this, Origins has some incredibly touching moments for both Ladynoir and Adrienette because romance is the heart of Miraculous. It is the main focus of the show. The driving motivation for both of our leads and the majority of the show's episodes. To tell the story of how their journey started without at least one of them falling in love would feel wrong. That's why we see both of them fall in love!

First we get Chat Noir giving his heart to his bold and brilliant lady, then we get Marinette's heart being stolen by the shy sweet boy who never once thought to blame her for her snap judgement of his character. We even get a touching moment where Chat Noir inspires his lady to accept her role and be Ladybug, leading her to boldly face their enemy and call him out:

Roger: I have a new plan, unlike you! Move aside and let the pros do their thing. You've already failed once! Ladybug: …He's right, you know. If I'd captured Stoneheart's akuma the first time around, none of this would have happened! I knew I wasn't the right one for this job… Cat Noir: No. He's wrong, because without you, she'd no longer be here. (they look at Chloe) And because without us, they won't make it, and we'll prove that to 'em. Trust me on this. Okay? Ladybug: Okay.

I love this moment, but it does lose a little of its power when you remember that we had an Alya-driven variation of this exact same thing five minutes prior:

Alya: HELP!! (Marinette suddenly gets filled with courage. She gets the case out of Alya's bag and puts on the Miraculous. Then, Tikki appears, happy to see Marinette again.) Tikki:(raising her arms) Mmmm! Marinette: I think I need Ladybug! Tikki: I knew you'd come around! Marinette: Well, I'm still not sure I'm up for this, but Alya's in danger. I can't sit back and do nothing.

This scene initially confused me because - if Miraculous is a rom-com - then why would you make Alya the reason that Marinette became Ladybug? Why wouldn't you have Chat Noir be the one in danger so that Marinette chose to fight because of her love interest and then encourage that bond with the later scene of him encouraging her? Why split the focus like this? Why give Alya so much attention?

In case you haven't figured it out, it's because Origins is trying to establish two different genres of show. Two genres that will continue to fight for the rest of the series (or at least the first five seasons).

Magical Girls Vs Rom-com

Why is Alya the one to shake off the nightmare dust and inspire the others during the season five finale? Why is Alya the one that Marinette trusts with all of her plans while Chat Noir is kept in the dark? Why does Alya and Marinette's friendship get so much more focus than Adrien and Nino's? Why was Alya the only temp hero who got upgraded to full time hero?

It's because Alya is Marinette's second in command in a magical girl show and magical girl shows focus on female friendships while the boys are just there to be cute and support the girls.

Why do most of Marinette's talks with Alya focus on Adrien? Why is Chat Noir the only other full time holder of a Miraculous for the first three seasons and then again for the final season? Why do Marinette's friends become more and more obsessed with Adrienentte as the show goes on? Why is the love square's identity reveal given so much more narrative weight than any other identity reveal?

It's because Miraculous is a rom-com and the love square is our end game couple, so of course the story focuses on their relationship above all else!

Are you starting to see the problem?

Circling back to our original question: no, it was not unreasonable for the fans to expect that the Alya reveal would have massive negative consequences for Ladynoir. That is what should happen in a rom-com and Miraculous is mainly written like a rom-com. But the writers are also trying to write a magical girl show and, in a magical girl show, Alya and Marinette's friendship should be the most important relationship in the show, so it makes perfect sense that the show treats the Alya reveal as perfectly fine because the Alya reveal was written from the magical girl show perspective.

When it comes to Miraculous, if you ever feel like a writing choice makes no sense for genre A, re-frame it as a thing from genre B and it suddenly makes perfect sense which is fascinatingly terrible writing! It's no wonder there are people who hate the Alya reveal and people who will defend it with their life. It all depends on which genre elements you've picked up on and clung to. Neither side is right, they've both been set up to have perfectly valid expectations. Whether those expectations are valid for a given episode is entirely up to the mercurial whims of the writers!

How Do We Fix This Mess

At this point, I don't think that we can, the show is too far gone, but if someone gave me the power to change one element of Miraculous, that element would be this: scrap both the magical girl stuff and the rom-com stuff and turn Miraculous into a team show where the friendships transcend gender.

At this point, I've written over a quarter of a million words of fanfic focused on these characters (the brain rot is real) and one thing I've discovered is that it is damn near impossible to keep Adrien and Alya from becoming friends. They're both new to their school while Marinette and Nino have gone to the same school for at least a few years. Alya and Adrien are both obsessed with Ladybug plus Adrien is a natural hype man who loves to support his friends and Alya loves to talk about her blog. Alya is dating Adrien's best friend. On top of that, Alya, Adrien, Nino, and Marinette are all in the same class, meaning that they pretty much have to be spending time together five days a week unless French school don't give kids a chance to socialize or do group projects. If so, then judging them for the first issue, but super jealous of the latter.

Given all of that, why in the world is does it feel like Alya is Marinette's close friend while Adrien is just some guy who goes to Alya's school? Along similar lines, while canon Marinette barely talks to Nino, I've found that Marinette and Nino tend to get along smashingly, especially if you embrace the fact that they have to have known each other for at least a few years.

If you embrace this wider friendship dynamic and scrap the girl squad, replacing it with Alya, Adrien, Marinette, and Nino, then the fight for narrative importance quickly goes away. It's no longer a question of is this episode trying to be a magical girl show or a rom-com? Instead, the question is: which element of the friend group is getting focused on today? The romance or the friendship?

A lot of hero shows do this and do it well. I think that one of the most well known examples is Teen Titans. That show has five main characters and the focus is usually on their friendships, but there is a very clear running romantic tension between the characters Robin and Starfire with several episodes giving a good deal of focus to their romance. I'd say that this element really starts in the show's the 19th episode - Date with Destiny - and it all culminates in the movie that capstones the series: Trouble in Tokyo. The character Beast Boy also gets a romance arc and, while it's more short lived, it's further evidence that you can have strong romances and strong friendships in the same show and even the same episode. You just have to own the fact that boys and girls can be friends with each other, a very logical thing to embrace when your show has decided to have a diverse cast of heroes instead of imposing arbitrary gender limitations on its magical powers.

I couldn't figure out a way to work this into the main essay, but it's relevant so I wanted to quickly point it out and give you more to think about re Origins. Have you ever found it weird how Origins gives both Adrien AND Marinette the "I've never had friends before" backstory and yet wider canon acts like Marinette has this strong amazing friend group while Adrien doesn't seem to care about making friends and instead focuses all his energy on romance? Why give both the protagonist and the supposed deuteragonist this kind of origin if it's not going to be a major element of the show? It makes so much more sense to only give one of them this backstory and then focus that person's character arc on learning about friendship.

How would you write Lila?

Really depends on things like how many seasons I had to fill, when I had to introduce her, if I had to give her the butterfly, and what I was doing with Chloe since Chloe and Lila are functionally the same character for most of the show. You do not need two petty mean girls to cause interpersonal drama. Either redeem one or don't let them overlap!

If we have to keep the butterfly as the villain to maintain the formula, then I'd make Lila a sentimonster created by Nathalie and introduce Lila at the start of season four. The linked post goes over my pitch for that rework, but while I like the concept, I don't like the butterfly being the designated evil miraculous. It just feels so bleh. Fives seasons of fighting and we're still right where we started: the butterfly in the hands of a villain that the heroes have no clear plan to defeat. You could start the story at season six and miss almost nothing (thus my constant theorizing that season six is a soft reboot.)

So let's take this post in a wildly different direction and talk in depth about evil spy Lila!

Almost any idea I have for Lila is going to involve some bigger plot to explain her lies and manipulation because they're just so over the top! Plus she's 14! How did she become this good at lying? Canon needs to give us some logic to explain all of this. Magic is a good excuse. So is training or even training and magic!

In this AU, Lila is from some sort of evil organization that uses their power for evil purposes (there are lots of routes you can got with this from evil magic to evil company, so let's stay high level and not commit to a path). The organization sees the miraculous being used in Paris and sends Lila to Paris to try to get her hands on the miraculous. Lila is specifically sent because of the Ladyblog. The organization views Alya as an easy in and so they send a teenage member or someone's kid who desperately wants to be part of the group.

This new Lila shows up claiming to be a Ladybug superfan, which instantly bonds her to Alya. Marinette's dislike of Lila now stems from Lila wanting to know all of Ladybug's secrets, which obviously raises red flags for Marinette, but not for Alya because Alya wants the same thing. In fact, Alya is really baffled why Lila's obsession rubs Marinette the wrong way because Marinette has always been fine with Alya having the same obsession. We know that the answer is that Marinette trusts Alya, but Lila is a wild card, but of course Alya doesn't know any of that. This makes the Marinette and Alya clash over Lila a lot more complex because it's no longer about lies. It's about trust and Marinette has no way to explain why trust is a factor without outing herself as Ladybug.

Lila can still tell lies and manipulate, but it's now all around getting close to Ladybug and learning everything she can. You can even have the Adrien conflict maintained with it now being Chat Noir wanting to be nice to fans while Ladybug is hard on the bad vibes train since Lila is so uncomfortably obsessed with her, another conflict that makes way more sense than what canon gave us. Adrien is just immune to weird fans and doesn't know that Ladybug is being bombarded with Lila's obsession every day at school.

This means that Marinette's Lila aversion is less her knowing something and more her being understandably uncomfortable because identity shenanigans, which is another nice complexity as it lets Marinette struggle with not knowing how to approach the situation because she knows she has no hard logical reason for her feelings, but she just can't get passed them. This could lead to some good lessons for kids on healthy relationships with celebrities/internet personalities and how you don't really know that person or have a right to their private life. It is, in fact, totally normal for your favorite celebrity to find your obsession a little creepy and block you when you cross lines. (This could even be a growing moment for Marinette re her crush on Adrien since it's written like a celebrity crush, though my personal preference is to just fix the writing around that to a more normal teenage crush. Even there it could be a growing moment, just a more nuanced one.)

There are a lot of ways to resolve this plot. Whatever you pick should see Lila outed and, in the process, we learn about the evil organization, giving us a new big bad for the heroes to deal with. Something that isn't tied to the miraculous and that is so big that it might justify having a big team of heroes to fight the new evil? Just a thought.

(a realization about dialogue formatting, from a comic artist turned novelist.)

One of the first things a novice writer learns about speech tags is that they’re part of the “scaffolding” of prose. They should be largely invisible to the reader: use them when necessary, omit them when not, and be sparing in the application of verbs other than “said”. They serve only the function of clarifying who is speaking when it is necessary to do so.

Except:

Sometimes you might want to use a speech tag in spite of the redundancy. The fact that the reader’s eyes slide right over them is an exploitable property. By slicing a line of dialogue in half with a speech tag, you can force the reader to perceive a meaningful pause between two utterances—and the effect is much stronger than you might get out of an ellipsis or an em dash. Developing an intuition for when and how to do this is a huge part of learning to write dialogue, I think.

(And yes: if you ever wondered, this is exactly same the reason why comic artists sometimes “double bubble” their speech bubbles. Same end, different means!)

free my girl she did all that shit but the fandom is mischaracterizing her for it

The Many Failures of Lila's Writing

There are three main issues with Lila Rossi (or whatever her name is): she was introduced too early, she doesn't fill a unique role in the story, and her lies are too over the top for her to feel like a good villain. Let's go through that list in order because the issues build to create the show's most annoying character even though her setup could have lead to a legitimately great character who we would have all loved to hate.

Issue 1: Lila Shows Up Three Seasons Too Early

Lila is introduced in the final episode of season one and then essentially disappears from the show for a full season. The only time we see her in season two is her brief appearance in season two's finale where she takes on the role of Volpina again in order to help Gabriel fake Ladybug's death. That's also the episode where we learn that Lila has been "in Achu" for some unknown amount of time.

[image: a list of Lila's season two appearances (source)]

Season three sees Lila show up with reasonable regularity (8 episodes, none of which are two-parters) and we get a real conflict with her, truly establishing her as a villain who lies like crazy and who wants to destroy Marinette.

Then season four comes and Lila is once again forgotten about. She shows up more than she did in season two, but only as a background character and most episodes don't see her at all. She doesn't have a single line until the final three episodes of the season and her role in these episodes is exceedingly minor. She does a few petty things to remind you that she's awful, but she's not the focus of the plot. She's just there to remind you that she exists and to establish her and Chloe as coconspirators of some sort.

[image: a list of Lila's season four appearances (source)]

Then season five comes and Lila is back to being an active antagonist. She shows up in almost every episode and we even get her very lackluster defeat.

This is some of the worst pacing that I have ever seen. It's honestly impressively bad. I hope the issue speaks for itself, but in case it doesn't, you don't chop a story up like this without a good reason and, frankly, their isn't one. Lila's introduction, villain setup, and defeat should have all take place over the course of a season or two, forming a mini arc.

Just in case you don't know what that is, most stories have a main conflict that drives the whole narrative (ex: getting the butterfly miraculous back) but within that story you have lots of mini stories. Things that get resolved so that it feels like things are moving forward and so that the audience stays engaged. If you don't get any satisfying resolutions until five seasons in (or more), then the audience will start to get annoyed or just stop watching. It's also a good way to keep expectations from getting built up too high. If every season or every other season has a satisfying conclusion to some big conflict, then you don't leave everything riding on the big finale.

By chopping Lila's story up, you made the audience spend four seasons dreaming of her defeat. Expectations were sky high. She's more hated than Gabe! If she's been introduced mid season 4 and had the exact same story arc, then her lackluster take down would be a mild disappointment and not a major issue for most of the fandom.

Issue 2: Lila and Chloe Should Never have Coexisted

When it comes to story telling, characters fill roles. Ladybug is the lead. Alya is the plucky best friend. Gabriel is the big bad. Etc. Etc.

Generally speaking, you only want one character in a given role. Having two or more characters in the same role leads to character bloat where characters are fighting for screen time because they don't have a clear place in the story. This is especially true for key antagonistic roles. It's a lot easier to balance two best friends than it is to balance two big bads.

Enter Chloe and Lila.

I've mentioned before that I thought that Chloe was going to be redeemed. The reason I thought this was not because of anything to do with Chloe. It was because the show introduced Lila and, narratively speaking, Lila and Chloe are the same character. They're both petty school bullies whose main job is to cause trouble for Marinette while she's at school and to give setups for akumas.

However, in terms of perceived threat, Lila is the bigger badder Chloe. No one but Sabrina likes Chloe. Everyone but Marinette likes Lila. Chloe doesn't make plans. Lila lives to manipulate and plot. If you're going to get ride of Chloe, Lila is who you'd replace her with. That's just how this works.

One of the most well known examples of this type of setup is Zuko and Azula from Avatar the Last Airbender. Zuko is the main antagonist of season one, but season two sees him step out of that role as he starts his journey of self-discovery and redemption. And who is introduced at the end of seasons one? Azula, Zuko's evil, more powerful sister. In season two, Azula fills Zuko's former role, but also makes things feel more serious because she's a bigger badder Zuko.

This brings us back to a big part of issue one. Namely, Lila's ongoing disappearing act. She only does that because of Chloe.

Chloe is a much easier villain to write. She doesn't have to hide anything. She is openly petty and evil. So if you're going to pick a character for a petty conflict, you're going to pick Chloe. The only time Lila gets pulled in is when the drama revolves around lies because Chloe is actually a strikingly honest character. She rarely lied prior to her "friendship" with Lila because, for the most part, Chloe doesn't care if everyone hates her. She only cares about the opinions of a chosen few. (Or, at least, she acts like she does.)

For Lila to work, Chloe needed to be redeemed or written off the show. The best proof of this is seasons five, where Chloe straight up becomes Lila's minion because the writers had to force that relationship if they wanted to have both characters involved in the plot. It's also why season four saw Chloe suddenly obsessed with Marinette when, prior to that, Chloe bullied everyone. The only way to team Chloe and Lila up was to give them a common goal and that didn't exist in the first three seasons.

So, building off of point one, Lila should have been introduced much later and she should have stepped into Chloe's shoes after Chloe either switched roles or completely left the show.

Issue 3: The Lies

I think that we can all agree that Lila is a terrible liar. Even a toddler could see through the BS that spews from her mouth. There are multiple satisfying Lila takedown fics that don't involve clever plots to beat her. They involve Alya or someone else doing a google search because - even with the declining quality of that tool - that's still all that it would take to prove what Lila is.

This is a really bad way to write a character who is supposed to be a master manipulator. Especially when she's going to be the next big bad. They desperately needed to tone her down.

For example, DON'T have her claim to be Ladybug's best friend. Have her claim that Ladybug saved her. That would still go up on the Ladyblog and, more importantly, it would be a lot harder to disprove. I doubt that Ladybug remembers everyone she saves so no one would fault Alya for just taking that at face-value, but Marinette could still instantly peg Lila as a liar.

Tinnitus from saving Jagged Stone's cat? How about tinnitus from being too close to the speakers at Jagged Stone's latest concert? The concert where Lila even got to meet him because she had back stage passes. Once again, hard to disprove. Jagged meets a lot of fans. I doubt he'd be able to tell you that she was lying.

And definitely don't have her openly state that she's a liar. The fact that she did that and was STILL able to manipulate the adult characters is abysmal writing. Especially because it comes right before Lila disappears for a season, giving the impression that her confession essentially defeated her, only for the show to go PSYCH! No one cares about her confession, it meant nothing for the Lila conflict.

I've had someone tell me that they think that Lila's lies were suppose to be a joke and, to be fair, that's plausible. The show relies on a lot of ridiculous humor. If Lila had shown up later, then this might have worked. But because Lila has been around for so long, we've all had time to think about her lies and build up the expectation of how they'd be handled.

I don't just mean Lila being exposed. I mean the fallout of all of her "fans" having to deal with the truth of who Lila really is, an issue that I won't go into here because this is already super long and I think that the issue of how her lies effect characters like Nino and Alya is pretty well understood.

There's also the Chloe thing. Chloe is very over the top, so replacing her with a character who is over the top in a different, more terrifying way would have made some sense. But Chloe's still here and she's more ridiculous than ever, so Lila matching that ridiculous just makes them an annoying duo that we all have to suffer through. Their team up was one of the most forced elements of seasons five. I just do not buy that Chloe would ever subject herself to being someone's minion. When it comes to that team up, the hand of the author is glaring.

Conclusion/Final Thoughts

Manipulative characters are fun. They make for fantastic villains and Lila could have been one of these fantastic villain, especially if Gabriel was played as more sympathetic. If there were lines that Gabriel wouldn't cross, then Lila getting the butterfly would be terrifying. As-is, I don't see how she's any worse than the dude who created Chat Blanc. Plus I'm not even sure why she needs the butterfly. She could already get anything she wanted with minimal effort because her lying powers are so OP. Like, why should I care about that twist? What has changed with the passing of the butterfly? The stakes have not been raised. If anything, they've been lowered.

Lila is just your generic evil villain who is evil for evil's sake. The heroes already hate her. Finding out that she's the big bad is not emotionally devastating. If anything, Marinette should be thrilled that she finally has an excuse to punch Lila.

It's possible that the writers will give Lila an interesting back story, but because she's been around for five seasons, I don't have any faith that they will. I mean, what was the point of introducing her all the way back in season one if you weren't going to use that to set her up in a satisfying way? I've seen people say to just wait and see and wait for what? They couldn't manage to pull off Gabriel's defeat or Chloe's defeat/redemption or Lila's first takedown in a way that was narratively satisfying. Why should I give them a chance to disappoint me with Lila's next take down? Three strikes and you're out!

@tallwriter as requested, there are my thoughts on Lila. As with every character in this show, I think she deserved better. She could have been great. She's one of the worst examples of squandered potential because everything about her was done wrong.

You don’t understand, I NEED to see how Adrien would pretend to be Félix for something. I need some sort of situation where Félix needs Adrien to pretend to be him for a few hours so he can get away for a while and for Adrien to at first be like, “You sure? I’m kinda rusty but I think I can pull it off!” And then for Adrien to immediately dial up the dramatics the second he’s in Félix’s clothes.

I need Adrien to exaggerate all of his cousin’s traits, being over the top cryptic, cold, and snarky one moment then a dramatic showman the next. I need Adrien to visibly be having so much fun because he’s helping his cousin by making fun of him a little. I need Félix to witness Adrien’s performance and be like, “Oh no, he’s terrible, this was a mistake—” but then be absolutely wrecked by the knowledge that NOBODY is noticing a difference aside from like, Kagami and have a mini crisis of “Is this how I act?? That’s not how I act?? How are they falling for this??”

And by the end of it Adrien is like, “Y’know, that was really fun! We should do this more often, I see why you do it all the time! :D” And Félix is just sitting there. Head in hands. Grappling with this new information.

Also just:

Adrien, pulling out an absurd amount of stolen rings out of his pockets: Also what do you do with these once you’ve got them? I might’ve committed to the role a little too much.

Kagami, nodding along very seriously: Your method acting is incredible.

Félix, staring in horror: I’m not a kleptomaniac… Am I?

Guys. Guys please. We have to remember that protagonist is not a stand in word for hero and antagonist is not a stand in word for villain. Please. We learned this in middle school. The protagonist is the character the audience follows. The antagonist is the character who is working against the protagonist.

"Then for the next eleven years, I tried to work up the nerve to talk to you."

“Without success.”

“Without success. So, in a way, my name being drawn in the reaping was a real piece of luck.”

Okay but can you IMAGINE if the earrings had gone to Alya like Marinette wanted them to? 

Instead of having a "designated responsible hero", Scarabella and Chat Noir would just be a pair of gremlins high on life because THEY'RE SUPERHEROES OMGOSH they would spend half their time geeking out and basically exuding chaotic sibling energy the entire time. 

They would reveal their identities to each other right off the bat because neither was paying attention when they were told not to, and Tikki just groans. Alya and Adrien quickly bond over being new kids at school who have superpowers, and everyone else is baffled.

Alya decides to try Clark Kenting and run the Scarablog, and Adrien is like "that's an amazing idea I'll help!" and shenanigans ensue. Marinette (who knows Alya is Scarabella since she snuck the earrings to Alya before any of this started) has befriended Alya as in canon but HASN'T told her that she knows her identity, so she gets dragged into the Scarablog staff and ends up doing most of the fieldwork and vlogging, desperately trying to do anything to cover up Scarabella's and Chat's identities (she knows Scarabella's, but doesn't know Chat's) while trying to avoid getting distracted by Adrien, who she's crushing on big time like in canon. 

For his part, Adrien gets totally enamored with Marinette because Ladybug isn't there to distract him and because Scarabella is already more sibling material than lover material, but he thinks Marinette dislikes him and his brand so instead tries to woo her as Chat Noir and more shenanigans happen. 

Nino, however, is low key crushing on Scarabella, and joins the Scarablog staff to try and learn more about her. Alya finds this amusing and kind of adorable, but doesn't really reciprocate for a while because she and Nino don't get locked in the zoo. She does let him investigate on his own, because she thinks pursuing the truth is a noble endeavor and in the meantime the blog can use his skills. Marinette starts silently screaming because GOSH DARNIT the identities are supposed to stay secret! 

Chloe is a huge fan of Scarabella and Chat Noir. She keeps trying to force herself onto the Scarablog team… But Alya is having none of it and throws her out. Chloe engages in spying shenanigans and tries to force Sabrina onto the team in her stead, but that just results in Sabrina getting character development. 

Lila shows up. Nino, desperately trying to learn more about Scarabella, falls for her lies hook line and sinker (sorry Nino, someone has to) but since Alya and Adrien both know each other's identities they see through her lies and (with Marinette) burst her bubble almost immediately. However, since Marinette actually has free time she can do her job as Class Pres and calm Lila down (a la zoe-oneesama's Scarlet Lady AU), and soon Lila shows up on the Scarablog's door offering to investigate Hawkmoth. Her main goal is fame and fortune, but eh Alya knows a good tool when she sees one. Chloe is fuming, and soon Lila gleefully engages in Spy vs Spy shenanigans with her. 

Fu is like "WHOMST IS SCARABELLA" and tells Adrien that Scarabella isn't supposed to be the Ladybug wielder and Adrien briefly angsts about it but is like "who cares have you met her she's literally a great hero and that's what matters" 

Fu is undeterred and keeps trying to give Marinette more miraculouses and she just keeps them in her room and doesn't use them