Concept: An Episode Of The Justice League Cartoon Where The MCs Get Sucked Into A 90s Teen Movie… Powers

reporter: we heard you had a soft spot for tigers, how do you feel about the fact that they're going extinct?

marvel: the day all tigers dies is the the day I'm gonna kill myself.

reporter:

marvel:

the JL concern:

Marvel: “What? It’s true.”

Flash: “But why??”

Supes: “Cap, surely you could find another favorite animal…?”

*silence*

Marvel: *disgust*

Supes: *looks ashamed and floats away*

Marvel: “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Wondy: “Brother, you didn’t answer Flash’s question. Why would you kill yourself over tigers?”

Marvel: “Why wouldn’t I? They’re the bestest animal in the world.” *completely serious*

GL: “Yeah, but does being the bestest animal in the world really warrant that.”

*silence*

Marvel: *disgust again*

GL: *ashamed too*

Marvel: “Anyways… there’s also the fact one of my bestest friends is a tiger too. If they all went extinct, that would include him.”

Reporter: “You have a friend who’s tiger?”

Marvel: “Yes, his name is Tawky Tawny and he’s a gentleman.”

GL and Flash: “Wait, but I thought we were your best friends?”

Marvel: “You guys are. You’re my best human friends. Mary and Junior are my best family friends, and Tawny is my best non-human friend.”

GL and Flash: “Oh. Sweet!” *do little victory dance together*

Marvel: *looks back to the Reporter* “So yeah, if anything were to happen to tigers I would kill myself— actually no I wouldn’t.

Reporter: “Pardon-” *now thinks that everything he said earlier about kms-ing was a joke*

Marvel: “Yeah, no. I would probably die of grief, like an elephant.”

Reporter: “…Oh.”

Marvel: “I would also probably die of grief like an elephant if elephants were to die too. Scratch that, any animal besides wasps.”

Marvel proceeded to yap for like twenty minutes about which animals he’d die of grief over like an elephant for.

Sometimes I feel like I live in a timely loop where every two weeks there’s another “pick your favourite/who’s the best Robin” poll.

One day Stephanie is going to win and then you’ll all see.

THISSS! But imagine he just starts picking up even more cause of past champions and the gods in his head.

So Captain Marvel starts muttering phrases in dead languages and no one can keep track of it, probably not even Billy!

Billy slowly starts picking up just little common Spanish expressions that Rosa used often after living with them for a while. Batman’s conspiracy board on Marvel just got even larger.

VOTE BILLY!!! HE HAS PRETENDED TO BE HIS OWN UNCLE IN ORDER TO DO STUFF AND THAT CHILD WAS HOMELESS SO NO WAY IS HE PAYING ANY SORT OF TAXES

To my knowledge, when Cass was orphan she was basically the only person in the BatFam that wasn’t an orphan.

Like, sure both her parents are horrible, but they were both perfectly alive and you still had the audacity to call yourself Orphan while being in a family of actual orphans

Fuck yeah, that’s badass

you know what really gets my goat?

Adding this cause I was gonna type it all out but I think this is easier

Tate Brombal listen to me. We need you Tate. We NEED you to write Stephcass having sex on page next week to cancel out the inevitable egregious fanon fallout of the upcoming WFA sister-zoning. If you don't do this we're gonna lose ground in the war Tate. I know you're one of us, I believe you will do the right thing

IS THAT HYPERPIGMENTATION???

Y’know that TikTok audio of that guy pointing at different people going “Daddy issues. Daddy issues! Chaos junkie, Mommy issues! MORE daddy issues. Obnoxious ASSHOLE issues. And YOU!… you seem kind of weirdly self-actualized as far as I can tell”?

Yeah, all of those apply to Cassandra Cain depending on which character you ask