Latest Posts by very-random-human - Page 7

Now that there's a new till comic about his mom, you think the people on here would make a rp account of her?

Gawd damn- *gets shot*

Let it be known that I never joke around when it comes to Kim Rok Soo ✨️𝓑𝓸𝓸𝓫𝓪𝓼✨️

Is it weird if I find him adorable?

Beep beep autistic car incoming

I'm dying help-

I’ve come to make an announcement: Luka’s a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife! That’s right, he took his twink-fuckin’ quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was “this big,” and I said “that’s disgusting,” so I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Luka, you’ve got a small dick, It’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like! That’s right, baby, tall points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what, I’m gonna fuck the Earth! That’s right, this is what you get: my SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I’m not gonna piss on the Earth, I’m gonna go higher!! I’m pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Urak?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth! Now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!

I have a little theory of round 7 nothing too serious just a speculation but spoilers below

What if Luka didn't ask the aliens to put pictures of Ivan on the screen and instead those were pictures of him but Till is hallucinating Ivan as them

Cuz in one of the pictures Ivan's hand had an ombre which from what I know only Luka has that and in the other picture his sleeves appeared more flowy which is Luka's style

Like is this a dumb theory? Am I being dumb right now? do I just need sleep? I don't even know anymore

*Dies from laughter*

Cale telling the worst possible person about his crush

Cale: I have a crush on someone. And since this used to be your body, I thought I should tell you.

KRS: Alright, just rip the band-aid off.

Cale: It's Choi Han.

KRS: *getting war flashbacks* Put the fucking band-aid back on.

-

Cale: Father. I have a crush.

Deruth: Oh! How wonderful, my son! Who is it?

Cale: It's the crown prince.

Deruth: *under his breath* I have kept up with my sword training and I have the element of surprise...

Cale: Father, please don't try to kill the crown prince.

-

Cale: Ron, I have a crush on someone.

Ron: Hoh?

Cale: It's Bud.

Ron: *sharpening knives* :) :) :) Hoh.

-

Cale: Choi Han. I have a crush on someone.

Choi Han: You know you always have my support, Cale-nim!

Cale: It's Choi Jung-Gun.

Choi Han: (⊙ˍ⊙) *screaming, gunshots, tornado sirens going off* Cale-nim. Why.

-

Cale: Eruhaben-nim. Eruhaben-nim. I have a crush.

Eruhaben: *deep sigh* Unlucky bastard, who is is it?

Cale: It's Duke Fredo.

Eruhaben: ... No. No, it's not.

Cale: ... Okay.

-

Cale: Witira-nim. I though I should tell you I have a crush on someone.

Witira: Oh? Congratulations, young master! But what brought this on?

Cale: Ah, it's because it's your da—

Witira: —aaaa!

Paseton: AAAA!

Archie: HAAAAH?!

-

Cale: Hyung, I have a... crush.

Sui Khan: Ah, has spring time finally arrived for you, punk?

Cale: ... It's. Um. It's Kim Rok Soo.

Sui Khan: What.

Cale: *sigh* Yeah.

Sui Khan: ... The jerk who stole your body??

Cale: ... yeah.

Sui Khan: This is not what I meant when I said you should love yourself more!

Goddess literally 🛐

i like dressing her up

I'd read the hell out of this shit

I have this Shang Qinghua hc where he’s an actual all-out BAMF. Like, he knows how to kick ass and take names. He can fight better than everyone, he’s powerful af, and he’s practically perfect at anything he does. He created the PIDW world, and he bends it to his will. Like, he’s legit a God™️. And he keeps that tidbit to himself, but sometimes he has trouble hiding it.

One time he beat Liu Qingge in a brutal training fight (one that SQH didn’t even want to participate in), but accidentally-on-purpose trips and hurts himself afterwards, making everyone believe it was a one-off thing.

He’s a better cook than Luo Binghe, although no one knows that until the chef for A Ding gets sick and SQH has a bunch of starving kids to deal with.

SQH is also super charming and naturally flirtatious. He’s on the logistics peak, meaning he has to talk to merchants and negotiate prices and deals. He has a fucking silver tongue. Not in a slimy way, but in the same way as Binghe. (LBH got his personality from somewhere.) SQH’s charm was partially what got Mobei Jun to be interested enough not to kill him when they were teens.

SQH can use The System to his advantage and become omnipotent if he wanted to. He doesn’t, because it takes a lot of work, but he could. In fact, he hacked The System when he was still an infant, it does whatever he tells it. Including giving him infinity points. Sometimes it’ll give him a mission, but SQH treats it like an annoying pop-up ad.

SQH is ruthless, manipulative, and can crush anyone like an ant mentally, physically and emotionally. He actually put a lot of himself into LBH while writing the book. And he kind of regrets that because the two really can’t stand each other due to how similar they are. Although LBH doesn’t realize it.

His cultivation is top tier. He’s actually the strongest cultivator in the world—but it wasn’t because he worked his ass off. He just rigged the game.

I can see him acting pathetic and dramatic to deflect because then he’s underestimated af. Also, the fake tears? His son does the same exact thing. But SQH on the inside is highly amused by everything. Especially Binghe. He loves his son, and knows what LBH is capable of, but it only makes him laugh. Internally, of course. Like, this whole world is hilarious to him.

SQH is smart and because these are his creations, he can outsmart any of them. It’s lonely though, being a God among men. So, instead of using his actual abilities, he doesn’t. Why would he interfere with anyone’s lives? Why do anything for people who were cruel towards him at times, not realizing they should fear him. He has an ego, but at the same time what was the point? He’s a selfish and lazy God™️.

When Shen Yuan transmigrates into SQQ he becomes the only person Shang Qinghua doesn’t know how to read. And it’s refreshing, it makes SQH feel human for the first time in decades.

TL:DR - HC that SQH is a literal God™️ but keeps it a secret. He prefers being an underestimated dude.

Me in a trash can

Drawing process below

Someone should write a fic of this (⁠✯⁠ᴗ⁠✯⁠)

i thought of od who murders so hyung can chase him

Some orv doodles in math class

This is hilarious 🤣

Trying my hand at this one:

Shen Yuan transmigrates into a worm.

It's just a normal garden variety (heh) earthworm, not a special magical worm (yet), so initially he thinks this is gonna be a really short transmigration adventure indeed. But of course that would be boring, so he also manages to end up in the body of a worm who lives under one of those magical immortal fruit-bearing trees.

One of the fruit drops, Worm Yuan chows down, and he significantly upgrades his physical abilities, and senses, and gains a cultivation boost! Hooray!

Unfortunately it's not enough to fix that he's still a worm, but it's enough so that he has less to fear from getting hit by a random shovel or such. In the process of eating the fruit, he sees some disciples (come to gather the fruits, slacking somewhat since they even allowed a few to hit the dirt) and overhears enough of a conversation to figure out that he's transmigrated into a worm that lives in the PIDW setting. Specifically, on Qian Cao Peak!

Wow! How random and wild! Why a worm??? What god did he piss off in his past life for this?

Well anyway, it is what it is, and Shen Yuan decides that if he's gonna live a probably short and uneventful life as a worm, at least he wants to see his favorite character. So he inches his way in what he hopes is the general direction of Qing Jing Peak, course-correcting whenever he gathers that he's guessed wrong, hitching a ride on the occasional shoe or once even gripping the internal part of a wheel from an An Ding Peak carriage, until finally, he's leveled up his meager worm cultivation even more and has reached Qing Jing Peak!

As Worm Yuan continues to inch his way across the peak, he keeps just-barely missing Luo Binghe, until finally he comes across... not Binghe, but a recognizable item: a fake jade pendant!

Though lost initially on a tree branch, it must have fallen at some point, down to the ground where Worm Yuan stumbled upon it.

Mustering his strength, Worm Yuan manages to get the broken string of the fake jade around his little worm body, and then makes the herculean trek to the wood shed. Dodging bird attacks, hiding from other QJP disciples, and further upgrading his Worm Skills such as digging, inching, and oozing, until finally he reaches his destination and squeezes under the door.

Leading to the situation of an incredulous disciple Luo Binghe -- who had previously been tending to his bruises -- watching as a little worm climbs into the shed (normal, usually it's spiders but sometimes other bugs get inside) while dragging his long-lost most treasured item in what can only be described as a deliberate fashion (very not normal).

After ascertaining that Worm Yuan is not some cultivator's tool or shapeshifted creature, Luo Binghe decides to approach this situation in the only reasonable way, and offers the worm some scraps from his leftovers. Worm Yuan happily shares a meal with his favorite character, and things take off from there.

Somehow Luo Binghe finds himself learning more about cultivation by watching Worm Yuan than he has in all his attempts to figure out his manual or listen to his shixiongs on Qing Jing Peak so far. He watches Worm Yuan work up the spiritual energy to crack rocks and scale the wood shed walls, and deduces some methods for applying his own spiritual energy in similar ways. He finds it heartening to think that if even a little worm can learn to cultivate through what seems to be pure determination, then surely Binghe can make his situation work, too. He scrounges around and manages to gather up enough materials for a makeshift terrarium, so Worm Yuan can be safe and cozy by his side at night.

Of course, trials and tribulations never stop. At some point Ming Fan and his cronies find the terrarium and smash it. Binghe is inconsolable until he realizes that Worm Yuan got away (extra durable, after all!) and is wriggling back towards him in a reassuring fashion.

Worm Yuan's hero schedule is quite full, too! At some point he digs his way into a tunnel to the Lingxi caves and saves Liu Qingge, and in the midst of the demon invasion he manages to help Binghe at a vital moment by hardening his body and tripping his opponent. He rides in Binghe's pocket when Binghe goes to claim Zheng Yang, too, developing his cultivation throughout it all.

Unfortunately, kind of, Worm Yuan is also in Luo Binghe's pocket when he gets thrown into the Endless Abyss. Through the hardships of the Abyss, Worm Yuan consumes some unsavory things (the less said about the quality of worm food in the Abyss, the better) but manages to unlock rare worm cultivation upgrades, until finally he achieves his first transformation -- a gigantic Dune-esque mega worm!

The less said about the symbolism of a stallion protagonist accompanied constantly by a literal monster worm, the better, probably. But having the ability to tunnel through basically anything does make a lot of things easier, at least in terms of travel, and cuts years off of the Abyss trip. Binghe and Worm Yuan almost have fun, even, just tearing through the terrain and any foes stupid enough to get in Worm Yuan's path until they retrieve Xin Mo and bust out.

Then they get into the demon realms and that actually is just straight up mostly a good time. Worms like Shen Yuan are not common so at first he nearly always surprises Binghe's foes when he shows up to help with fights, and a lot of the time the demons involved don't even seem to realize, at first, that he's with Luo Binghe and isn't just some hellish calamity that's coincidentally also shown up! But word gets around pretty quick that the new Heavenly Demon on the scene has a giant worm companion (probably leading to some misconceptions of people who think it's Tianlang Jun returned and that someone's mistaken Zhuzhi Lang's snake form for a worm).

Once that happens, unfortunately, some demons start taking precautions. After the first time Worm Yuan gets poisoned and nearly perishes (saved by Binghe's blood in the nick of time), Luo Binghe stops letting him participate in fights. Which is just rude! Worm Yuan's not going to make the same mistake twice, duh! But Binghe just keeps holding him in reserve again and again until the fight with Mobei Jun, and then when Worm Yuan intervenes anyway (is it just him or does Mobei Jun seem to know a lot more about potential heavenly demon weaknesses than he did in PIDW...?) and gets partly frozen, Binghe goes berserk. For a while there Shen Yuan is worried he won't actually LET Mobei Jun surrender!

Thankfully though he does, and then Binghe settles into his properties and starts... building a giant-scale worm garden? What about the harem, Binghe? Like obviously it's nice and all, but shouldn't you be focused on housing for, y'know, your future wives?

Other factions in the demon realms clearly are wondering about the same thing, as the marriage alliance offers naturally start pouring in. The most vocal of these being Sha Hualing. Worm Yuan supposed that his Binghe is probably waiting to officially take his wives so that he can marry Ning Yingying first or something, but still, a little planning wouldn't go amiss. Though eventually Luo Binghe seems to get -- if anything -- fed up enough with the questions about his marriage prospects that he does start setting up for a wedding.

Worm Yuan is surprised and touched when he finds himself being fitted for a monster-worm sized amount of wedding regalia. So he can be included in Binghe's wedding procession? That's so sweet! He's not sure he understands the inclusion of a veil, though...?

Anyway. Yes. Binghe marries the worm.

This would make for such an interesting fanfic

An Idea Orv x TCF

yoo joonghyuk as Choi Han

(゜。゜)

Have you ever think the reason why Cale is protective to children is not because..

Of his childhood but the state of the apocalypse done to children. Have u seen children, toddlers in any apocalypse movies? Or the problem being shown in the movie “quiet place” having a toddler and a baby with monsters sensitive in noise? There is a great chance that in apocalypse, children and toddlers are abandon, bought over yet killed in the way, or in the worse case scenario, cannibalism like what in the movies “snowpiercer, 2013” where they have no choice but to e.a.t the babies. Histories of where human is driven into cannibalism because of hunger.

Why Cale wishes the children, even the wolf children, and Lily stay as what children is. He just accepted the fact the children wants weapon as toys or Ron teaching the kittens, Sheritt to Lock, Choi Han to the wolf children so that the children knows self defense and take care of themselves in danger. Trying not to repeat the same thing of their pasts and his failure to what happened to the apocalypse, maybe another reason why he thinks of him as a trash.

Like the novel doesn’t mention any children except the teen siblings in the sealed god test In the earth 2.

After all, Cale had seen the cruelest and darkest side what can humanity do in the apocalypse.

Btw this just a theory of mine.

This is a ✨Need✨

Kim Rok Soo as a cat (inspired by this)

KRS is a big fluffy cat, but he's skinny af. However the mf eats more than a whole battalion and still is as skinny as a malnourished stray cat so when people pick him up they're always taken aback with how light he is and always get worried. He's 100% healthy though.

Sometimes, for whatever reason, KRS need to move Hong or On again their will he'll instinctively try to pick them up by the scruff. The problem? They're to big and he's to weak to actually pick them up, so he end up dragging them around since is already to late to give up. He always frown when that happens. To a outsiders point of view it may look like a momma cat scolding her kitties, but it is hella embarrassing to KRS and afterwards he always go hide somewhere that no one can find him until he comes out himself. He'll act nonchalantly about it though.

It was Hans who brought KRS, on and Hong (he was fooled by their "pitiful kitties drenched in the rain" act) so their were supposed to be Han's cats. On and Hong ended up as "the Henituse state's cats" but KRS is clearly Cale's cat.

KRS became a bit protective of Cale, so he always hiss to or attacks people who seem like a threat to the redhead.

If Cale is having a hangover there is always medicine waiting for him. The staff didn't brought it to him. Only Ron knows that it was KRS who brought it because he saw the cat carrying it in his mouth and entering Cale's room.

In the rare occasion were Cale truly got drunk and got sick because of it KRS will keep walking between Cale's legs so Cale will keep tripping on him until Cale give up on the idea of going out to drink more.

KRS knows how to open doors and he always close them behind him when he enters a room. He uses his hind paws to do so.

KRS is really expressive when he wants to communicate. He rarely vocalize anything, he just speaks with his body. Like putting his front paws together and moving then up and down to ask for food. Or tapping someone's leg to get their attention.

Cale and On are the only ones to truly understand KRS. But Cale is the only one to actually talk with KRS and (apparently) get proper answer. When questioned about it Cale says that KRS eyes and face tells everything.

KRS is that cat with eyes of disinterest and disdain. People always says that KRS looks like he's judging them. He is.

KRS can almost always be bribed with snacks.

When Cale is sad the likes to groom KRS and play with his fur. KRS let him because he likes it and knows that Cale needs it.

KRS aways sleeps on Cale's room.

When Cale is having insomnia ou had a nightmare KRS will straight up lay on Cale's face without previous notice and start purring. For some reason it does helps Cale and he always sleep well after.

Cale became a bit emotionally dependent of KRS.

Lily discovered that KRS loves to listen to stories, so she always read at least one book to KRS everyday.

Basen once saw KRS solve a puzzle (KRS was bored) and now a lil paranoid with the cat. He loves the cat, but the cat freaks him out.

Everyone feels that KRS don't trust them. But for some reason he seems to trust Cale to some extent.

Y'all know that cats are fucking liquid right? Well, KRS is even more. Even On and Hong are weirded out by him sometimes.

Also y'all know that cats can sleep anywhere, right? Yeah, Rok Soo is even worse. He once disappeared and was only found because the roof was going to be cleaned that day. He was in the highest spot of the roof all sprawled and crooked. No one knows how he got there since it's necessary equipment to get there.

Apparently it is possible to animals to get ancient powers because KRS got the shield. It took him a long time, but he did. The glutton(and all the ancient powers for that matter) and KRS can communicate via thoughts.

KRS hissed to Choi Han the first time they meet, bit Cale's pants and tried to drag him away from Choi Han before anyone said anything. When Cale opened his mouth tho ask what was wrong with the cat KRS started to meow non stop really loud. It was the loudest he ever meowed.

KRS successfully fooled Choi Han with the "big eyed fluffy cat" trick.

After Choi Han arrived On, Hong and KRS disappeared for days. Cale and Hans flipped the entire Henituse state searching for them. They came back almost a month later. Now Cale have to take care of a annoying dumb baby dragon who absorb any kind of information like a damn sponge. On and Hong convinced the black dragon to polymorph into a cat.

When On and Hong were debating on a name to the black dragon KRS showed up with a peace of paper with the words "Raon Miru" written on it. The name was KRS's sincere wish for Raon to live a happy life, not that anyone need to know that.

KRS also showed up with a peace of paper with three names written on it when Hans was thinking of a name to give to them. When Hans read the names each cat meowed to the corresponding name. KRS uses his claws to write. He just put the tip of one os his claws in the inkwell and wrote. The calligraphy is awful, but is still legible.

KRS stole a really expensive spatial bag and since then everyone is getting looted, both friends and foes. Everyone is pissed with it because they can't catch the culprit. Cale is having a lot of fun because he is the only one who knows that it is KRS fault.

KRS just disappear from time to time for quite a long time but aways come back.

During one of the times that KRS disappeared he was brought back by a tall man with golden hair. Who asked to meet the owner. Cale went to talk with him. Apparently said golden haired man is a fucking ancient dragon and Cale's cat have more then one ancient powers despise being a completely normal cat. Cale don't know if he's laughing due to the absurdity of the situation or due to the panic because his cat is on fucking thin ice from dying.

Eruhaben explained that he meet the cat when KRS passed by his lair holding a necklace with a very peculiar ability. Both Cale and Eruhaben forced KRS to show them what he was going to do with the necklace because none of them believes that the cat is incapable of comprehending human language. KRS put the dominating water on the necklace and look at Eruhaben dead in the eyes. Let's just say that the ancient dragon is helping Cale to search for the earth ancient power so his cat won't die because "wtf is this damn cat?".

This incident remembered Cale that even if he's weird af KRS is still physically a normal cat and that Cale don't know how old he is, so he started to pay a lot more of attention to him and take better care of him. Cale even had Beacrox research about healthy cat diet and started to give KRS raw meat because is how cats are supposed to eat. KRS refuses to eat it and even steals human food that he is not supposed to eat because is bad to him, so Beacrox had to at least cook it.

One day the staff went to report to the count that tomatoes have been planted in a hidden part of the garden and that when they tried to remove it(because it was not supposed to be there) the black cat just attacked them. After a bunch of attempts the cat just straight up assaulted anyone who came too close of it. Deruth went to check it latter on and saw the cat black fluffy cat dragging a water bowl and flipping the water on the tomatoes. Next day he took Violan with him to make sure it wasn't a hallucination. It wasn't, the cat was really taking care os the tomatoes. Later on people saw the cat digging the dirt with his paws, putting seeds inside the roles and covering the holes. Slowly but surely the black cat was making a small vegetable garden and was taking good care of it (as good as a cat can, that it) and the staff started to help him out a little.

One day the news that the fire on the jungle was put out by a black cat with red eyes reached the Henituse state, Cale just silently looked at KRS with a deadpan face and decided that ignorance is a bliss and pretended that he knew nothing.

One day KRS started to pile up books about military strategies, the North and wyverns on Cale's room. He meowed until Cale picked up the books and started reading them out loud. Cale though that KRS was doing it because Lily started her sword training and was forgetting to read to the cat. KRS was actually doing it so he would be sure that Cale was actually reading the books and would start to prepare for the war since the count had already warned the whole family and was fortifying the City walls.

Speaking of it... After the plaza terror incident the crown prince woke up to a letter on his bedside table which suggested the construction of a naval base in the ubbar territory. The calligraphy was awful but legible.

One day, after another of KRS disappearances, he came back with a crying rat. Turns out the cat is a mixed blood of dwarf and beast people of the rat tribe. The black cat brought a pen, ink and a big paper and dropped it in front of the trembling man who started crying. KRS slapped him visibly annoying and keeped slapping him at each sob. It was a drunk(not really) Cale who had to explain that the cat wanted the half dwarf to do something with the gathered materials. Muller started to do the first thing that came to mind, a blueprint of a fortress, the black cat nodded and went away. Cale half sarcastically congratulated Muller and said that he was the newest Henituse employee since his father was looking for engineers and architects anyway.

Eruhaben was secretly searching about how dragons communicate through telepathy and if it was possible to apply this kind of magic on a magicless creature. He ended up creating a artifact in the form of a small pendant. He put it on KRS collar together with the pendant with the dominating water.

It's kinda weird to hear KRS voice because it sounds like a tired and emotionless mid to late thirties man.

No one other than Eruhaben, On, Hong and Raon, Ron, Beacrox and Choi Han knows that both Cale and his cat are the masterminds behind the White Thing plans being ruined. Also, everyone believes that Cale is the one with ancient powers but the only one he actually has is the one he got from his mother's grave.

Everyone aways freak out when KRS just coughs up chunks of blood because almost no one knows that he has ancients power and that he also have a restoration one. People legitimately believe the cat is dying.

No one knows it but Cale always cries in silence when everyone is asleep while cuddling with KRS when the cat goes comatose.

The crown prince always have cat snacks ready for KRS because the cat aways come by with valuable info.

Alberu once had one of the dark elves to follow KRS to find out who sent him. Is impossible to track down the cat. He just discovered who's the owner after meeting Cale again and the trashy young master was patting the cat like some villain in a cliche novel.

For some reason the GoD send a message to his church saying that cats and hawks, mainly black ones, are a sacred symbol of his. No one knows why tho...

Fredo's family heirloom works on cat KRS, so he was the one who went to Endable pretending to be Naru. Fredo never got said heirloom back because is makes KRS life's easier when needed.

After getting embrace KRS started to use something akin to a military dog ​​vest with a lot of pockets. Eruhaben enchanted the pockets with spatial distortion magic so they actually the same thing as spatial bags. Inside that one of these pockets is a brooch with the Henituse household emblem. Blood Drenched Rock is inside de said brooch. Inside other pocket is food, water, potion, a golden plaque, a tiny stuffed animal(a golden fish to be more precise), a few weapons, a bunch of sacred objects and so on.

KRS went with Cale inside the SG temple. The White Radish was inside the stuffed golden fish inside one or KRS pockets.

Everyone flipped out when they saw Cale stabbing his cat and stabbing the White Star right after inside the SG temple. The cat is 100% fine tho and refuses to be separated from Cale.

Suddenly a black hawk with red eyes appeared and is now KRS best buddy. KRS is always purring when cuddling with the black hawk.

Thanks to the White Star bullshit and the GoD who give to Cale (not really) a sacred item plus the fact that Cale is always with a black cat and a black hawk, both with red eyes, people truly believe that Cale is the messenger of the gods.

English is not my native language so there's probably a lot a grammatical errors, but I tried my best. Hope y'all like it.

@phantomfallacy

Someone should write a fic about this

Ill post this au( inspired by tweet above) i started on my twt on Tumblr too

First part

more comic panels below

Second part

Third part

Fourth part

Shenanigans side extra

this is currently an ongoing series, if this does well here, I will continue posting these in bulk (～￣▽￣)～

for more frequent uploads, you can follow my twitter at ArcherD116, feel free to ask me ab this au and give your suggestions!

I really need a fic of this

Aaand number 1 is a sorta crack au post?

Au: Everyone’s a Regressor!

- Just what the title says. Everyone (except the villains ofc) is a regressor. Including Cale. Who just happens to be a regressor, transmigrator, and reincarnator. Basically the same plot of Cale lived his first life in tboah and then reincarnated as krs before regressing and transmigrating into his original body after dying as krs. Plot twist though, most everyone else is also a regressor and he has no idea. He has memories of his first and second lives. Including the novel he read before he died, and doesn’t know why everyone is acting so different from what he knows!

- Why is his family being so nice and talking to him?! Why is Ron giving him so much lemonade?! Why does that Punk Choi Han act like he knows him already?! He and Ron and Beacrox know each other?! When did they meet this early?! Who are all these people in his house?!

- Okay? So his father is reinforcing the walls and they are making a navy in the Ubarr territory??? This is great. The heroes and his family are preparing for the war and he doesn’t even have to lift a finger!

- He does still carry out his plans though. Getting the ancient powers, saving Raon and coincidentally finding On and Hong, and helping Taylor and Cage. Speaking of which, Taylor stops his search for the vitality of the heart and just relaxes in Puzzle city with Cage for a bit before they meet Cale. Of course, the god of death still tells Cage abt the benefactor, who was not present in their past life. Cage is shocked to hear from the one who abandoned them in the last life, but still listens to him for Taylor’s sake.

- Deruth doesn’t want to send either of his sons this time, but he is shocked when Cale offers to go. Despite both his parents and Basen trying to deter him, he convinces them to let him go. They agree, only because Choi Han and the Molan duo will accompany him. Deruth doesn’t like the idea sending the person who beat his son to protect him. Much less the ones who betrayed his son to go off and play hero with the offender; but he knows how strong they are. If anyone can keep Cale safe, it’s them.

- Choi Han doesn’t hate Cale, but he doesn’t really like him either. He’s come to respect the younger during the time they spent as allies during the war, but the Cale right now hasn’t faced his future tragedy yet. He’s still young and immature, and acts like trash….right..? Wait- not right?! What is with this kid? Why does he act so different from before?! By all means, he should still be trash, soo why is he acting completely different from their past life? And why does he know things he shouldn’t know at this point in time? Or any point in time for that matter?

- He doesn’t seem to remember their life before, so why is he acting so strange?

- Cale is just trying to make it seem like he doesn’t know half these people so he won’t look suspicious, but why is everyone acting like they know him? He knows he’s never met the crown prince in this life, so what’s with that melancholy look?

- Meanwhile, Choi Han is just trying to find a way to find Rosalyn and Lock without seeming too suspicious. Luckily, Cale sent him away first.

- The vow of death never happens.

- “ I can’t tell you everything, but I can share two truths.” “Oh, there’s no need Cale-nim. I trust you.”

‘Wha..? How can you trust me? We’ve only known each other for a few weeks.’ “Don’t you want information on that secret organization?”

“It’s alright, Cale-nim. I’m sure we’ll run into them again soon.”

‘This punk…Does he know something?’ “Choi Han, do you know something about them?”

‘That’s not possible. Choi Han should have only encountered them once by this point.’

“No. I. Don’t. Know. What. You. Are. Talking. About.” ….

‘Was Choi Han always such a bad liar..?’

- Cale doesn’t get the annual rings right away. Why? Idk, consistency with Tcf plot?

- Everyone knows that everyone has regressed except Cale. Bc it’s funnier that way.

- So we got all his family members tiptoeing around him, trying to see if he remembers but also trying not to jog his memory if he doesn’t. They know the last life hurt him and they don’t want him to have to carry the burden of their deaths. (He does. And he’s not gonna make the same mistake twice).

- The Radish is still a hassle to deal with. Obviously they didn’t see all his powers from the last life as they were completely overwhelmed by the enemies, but with Cale’s help and their experience from the past, they are much stronger and more prepared. By the time the Indomitable alliance comes to the Henituse territory, there are even more secret weapons coming out of the woodworks. Seriously, the enemies are so confused. So is Cale. So is everyone else. Clopeh never stood a chance. It’s like the pointing Spiderman meme. And the enemies are a bonfire in the middle; being reduced to ashes while everyone else is being stunned by each other’s collective strength.

- The only enemy they have a bit of trouble with is the White Star. Not because he’s too strong, no, he’s already no match for Choi Han, Rosalyn, and Lock fighting against him altogether, but with the aid of Eruhaben, they now know that he’s a reincarnator. They have no idea how to kill him for good.

- So basically, they keep encountering him and injuring him further while trying not to actually kill him. Of course, that’s not to say that the rest of the WS allies are a joke, rather, they are just slightly challenging as literally everyone in the two continents speed runs getting stronger to prepare to combat his forces.

- To make it even more fun, none of the enemies retain their memories. Also, the citizens are random on who has memories of their past. Some do, some don’t. It creates chaos.

- Adventurer Bob remembers his past life where he died on his first adventure. He doesn’t know how he came back to the past, but he’s determined to use his knowledge of the future to his advantage! (What knowledge? Bro literally died on his first expedition).

- A middle aged baker in Rain City vows to live his life to the fullest this time! He’s going to build a Wyvern bunker! He’s going to save up funds! And he’s going to make up with his daughter who ran away to become a sword master! He’ll support her all the way this time. They may not be enough, but even if she doesn’t reach that level, who is he to stunt her only chance at survival in the upcoming war?

- Rookie Knight Jeffron has had quite a strange day. He woke up only to hear three of his comrades spouting nonsense about wars and fire and wyverns..? Just what is a wyvern? Must have been quite the nightmare. Psssh! As if! The Henituse territory would never fall to enemy soldiers! And attacking from the sky? Yeah right! What’s next? The Sun god accepts the darkness attribute? Hah! Jokes these days…

- Really, half the city seems to have had too much to drink. Or too little…? What has happened to Young Master Cale?! Some citizens could have sworn he had still been trash in the past. So what has happened to make their young master change so much? He doesn’t seem like he remembers? He doesn’t…right?

Ao3 and sin is a good one i'mma start using that from now on

I made some svsss ones

*eats*

Disciple Shen Yuan au.

As it's been established before, Shen Jiu is an incredibly traumatized man, who took that cycle of abuse and made it a snowball turned avalanche of abuse.

He made up survival rules that served him well as a child on the streets, but only isolated him as a Peak Lord. He's paranoid, hateful and erratic. He's well aware that he's a bad man, he sees himself as the scorpion asking a frog for a ride, and he can't see that he does not sting because such is his nature, he stings because he believes with such certainty he knows the frog will drown him. And even if he went mad and decided to be good, he wouldn't even know where to start.

We learn by example, and we're well aware of the examples to follow available for him.

On that note, now that he's Peak Lord, he recreates his own trauma as the abuser. It gives him a sense of power, and it makes things fair, because if he couldn't have a kind master, then why should they (his disciples). It would be unjust, to let them have what he didn't, it wouldn't make sense, because now that he's at the top he sees how easy it could be to not do things. He doesn't need to whip these children, to make them kneel under the sun for ours on end. But he does anyways, he doesn't derive amusement from it, but if Qiu Jianluo could just not pay attention to him when he had the choice and did anyway, why would he give his disciples the reprieve he didn't have?

And he knows what is done to cruel masters. He knows that if given the chance, those cowering pathetic creatures will turn on him.

He won't let them.

In the end, he does not regard any of them as his students. And when Luo Binghe arrives, Shen Qingqiu ends up behaving as a less predatory Qiu Jianluo; he places Luo Binghe in the role of Xiao Jiu and Ning Yingying as Qiu Haitang. And, in the back of his mind he feels he can understand Qiu Jianluo for the first time (he's wrong, the monster Qiu Jianluo was and the monster Shen Jiu became are not the same. But Shen Qingqiu always thought he understood people very well, never realizing that what he read on everybody's faces were his own thoughts reflected back at him.) because he just can't not pay attention to that boy. Because Xiao Jiu had not a moment's rest under Qiu Jianluo so why should Luo Binghe ever find relief under Shen Qingqiu? If Xiao Jiu was a thing to be used, then isn't he so kind to make of Luo Binghe a beast instead?

Shen Yuan arrives, perhaps before Luo Binghe does, but it doesn't matter. Shen Qingqiu takes this boy in after being urged by Yue Qingyuan for his lack of showing up at the disciple entrance trial.

And, from the beginning one thing is clear.

Shen Yuan despises Shen Qingqiu.

Every new disciple that reaches his peak seems eager, nervous, desperate to show Shen Qingqiu how good they are. They look at him with awe and tentative hope, as if Shen Qingqiu would ever play their game. As if he'd ever give them what they feel entitled to but do not deserve.

Shen Yuan looks at him like he knows exactly what kind of master Shen Qingqiu is, like he knows exactly what Shen Qingqiu is thinking of, well aware of what the future entails for him.

And as they perform the tea ceremony, Shen Qingqiu looks at this boy and finally understands why Wu Yanzi saw a mistreated slave and decided he was too funny to let go.

Shen Qingqiu takes Shen Yuan as his disciple. He drinks what's clearly a tea brewed to offend, and for the first time on his tenure as a Peak Lord, drinks with the intent to become a teacher.

But we learn by example. The previous Qing Jing Peak Lord might've been his Shizun in name, but in his pathetic life Shen Jiu only ever recognized one teacher.

And Wu Yanzi loved to play games.

Shen Qingqiu smiles kindly, a hint of amusement showing in his eyes. The child looks at him as if he's gone insane, and Shen Qingqiu tilts his head as if he finds it so endearing.

"Excellently brewed, Shen Yuan, this master formally accepts you as his disciple. From now on this one is your Shizun, and you'll refer to him as such. Your Shixiongs and Shijies will become your family, and Qing Jing your home." Shen Yuan has grown pale, defiance turned into fear. But such is not the face of a boy scared as he wanders in the dark, uncertain of what's ahead. That's the face of someone who knows exactly what kind of animal lurks in the shadows from the way its teeth glint under meager moonlight. His mouth's become a tight line, breathing controlled to not hitch. He looks grim, not afraid. He was not expecting this, but knows how to play along. Shen Qingqiu inclines his head in a shallow bow. "Welcome, Disciple Shen, to my Qing Jing Peak."

The boy unclenches his jaw and answers drily, "this one thanks Shizun."

Shen Yuan's voice is flat, like Shen Jiu's when greeted Wu Yanzi. Shen Qingqiu grinned just as Wu Yanzi did.

Shen Qingqiu forgets something though,

He's not Qiu Jianluo, and he's not Wu Yanzi. And he might've been right in another life, with Luo Binghe and a self fulfilling prophecy of cruel masters dying at the hands of ungrateful wretched boys.

But he doesn't know Shen Yuan is not tied to a narrative, that he can recognize a self fulfilling prophecy from a mile away and turn tail the opposite way.

He forgets Shen Yuan is not Shen Jiu.

What Shen Yuan is, is freaking out, shouting "WHATTHEFUCK WHAT. WHAT. THE. FUCK??????" inside his head.

He smells a fucking rat. And he's NOT buying whatever you're selling Shen Qingqiu!!! Ptoo ptoo!! He's going to compare whatever manual you give him with other disciple's!!! from ANOTHER Peaks!!! SYSTEM?? SYSTEM ARE YOU GLITCHING??? IS HE GLITCHING??

[Host may rest in peace knowing Scum Villain Shen Qingqiu is acting perfectly in character ^w^]

(What do you mean rest in peace, are you telling me to R.I.P?? Is he going to kill me??? This is not the two bit scumbag I was promised??? What the FUCK you mean perfectly in character???)

[He is large, he contains multitudes.]

(Is he thinking about killing me or not???)

[This System cannot answer that.]

(Throw me a bone.)

[... Scum Villain Shen Qingqiu will behave differently towards his victim depending on said victim's profile.]

(VICTIM???)

[Whoops uwu. This System meant to say disciple! Every student has different needs! A good teacher knows how to adapt!]

And thus begins Shen Yuan's life at Qing Jing Peak.

Shen Qingqiu does give Shen Yuan a fake manual. Shen Yuan compares it to every manual he can get his hands on, and goes AHA! At the utter bullshit inside the book Shen Qingqiu gave him. End ups stealing one of Qian Cao, glues the cover of a Qing Jing peak manual on it. Glues the Quan Cao manual's cover on the Qing Jing manual lose pages. Takes the fake manual to Shen Qingqiu with the intent to confront him with a gotcha! Shen Qingqiu makes worried sounds. Oh, how could this happen, how dangerous! Is disciple Shen hurt? And burns the manual in front of Shen Yuan's aghast face, effectively getting rid of all evidence. Then apologizes and, smirking, hands him a new manual.

(Cunt.)

Said manual is slightly altered, but only midway, so is more difficult to spot it, yet still managing to damage the reader's cultivation at a crucial point.

Shen Yuan uses the pages to make paper planes and, instead of throwing them, he viciously stomps on them.

(Shang Qinghua shudders at the distance and then glances around to see if Mobei-Jun is sneaking a peak through his portals again. Over a decade Shang Qinghua has been at his service and he still randomly opens a little hole in the fabric of space to check Shang Qinghua is not betraying him! If his King keeps this up he just might! Hmph! ((He won't)))

Shen Qingqiu keeps being his acidic self with everybody else, but by playing mind games with Shen Yuan he accidentally placeyd him on the spot of most favored disciple, outshining Ning Yingying, someone who Shen Qingqiu actually likes, because when Shen Qingqiu likes someone he's not sharp and cutting with them, but with Shen Yuan he looks dotting. It's driving poor Shen Yuan up the wall.

Not only nobody believes him, but the apparent favoritism has isolated him from other disciples who, driven by jealousy try to sabotage him. Shen Qingqiu notices this and half amuses him half makes him feel a strange sort of anger he cannot understand.

As a favored disciple, Shen Yuan starts to accompany him in what used to be solo hunts, and in one of every three night hunts Shen Qingqiu sets Shen Yuan up for failure, grave injury, or death if he's been too annoying.

After some time being tossed around like a mouse by his evil cat of a Shizun, Shen Yuan starts to play along. He works himself to the ground to excel in every subject Shen Qingqiu tried to sabotage him in, and aided by his knowledge as a transmigrator, he succeeds. He follows Shen Qingqiu around like a shadow, delighting in the stressed twitch of his eyebrows. Gets too into it and starts playing it up as a good little henchman. He basically goes "good one boss!" To everything Shen Qingqiu says.

"Qi Shimei claims to be uninterested in this Shixiong's affairs, yet she's up to date on every single drop of gossip surrounding him."

And before Qi Qingqi can snap at him, Shen Yuan peaks from behind Shen Qingqiu's back and chirps:

"Qi-Shigu should be too mature to try to attract Shizun's attention with such ploys! She ought to send this disciple a letter and he will make sure to arrange a private meeting for both of you!"

Shen Qingqiu hates it. But he's nothing if not adaptable.

"If Mu-Shidi is done, this master has matters to attend to."

"Shixiong, this one is worried, your constitution has been worsening these past few years and, not only as your doctor, but as a—"

"As a what, Shidi? Sect brother? Friend?" sneers Shen Qingqiu.

"As a mother?" Pipes Shen Yuan, "is Mu-shishu Shizun's mother?"

"Ah, Shizi—?"

"Such nagging can only come from a mother's mouth!"

"Shidi is not this one's mother and should mind his place,"

"Shishu should shave that moustache, too."

Sometimes Shen Qingqiu finds him funny, sometimes he needs to hurt him.

He makes Shen Yuan use his qi to strengthen his hands as he makes him submerge them inside a pot of boiling water, as "training". After a few private training sessions, Shen Yuan starts to succeed in keeping them from burning. Shen Qingqiu surprises him with a pot of boiling oil. Shen Yuan stubbornly complies and succeeds. Hands red and stinging, but the skin remains intact, if tender

Shen Qingqiu is both disappointed, and a little bit relieved. But more than anything, he's angry. Had it been him, at Shen Yuan's age, the oil would've melted the flesh off his bones.

No matter what he throws at Shen Yuan, the boy comes up top, and even if he doesn't, he heals so quickly (he doesn't know about the Qian Cao manual), and it is as if he never failed in the first place.

Shen Qingqiu ends up losing patience and whips him three years into this game. Shen Yuan is fifteen. And as he is lowered down he glances back at Shen Qingqiu from his shoulder and says, pale and shaking, "I win," and throws up.

Shen Qingqiu qi deviates.

Shen Yuan looks at him, as he bleeds and convulses and thinks about letting him die.

He crawls towards him and, with the healing knowledge he's gathered through the years, stops the qi deviation before it turns lethal.

Then he passes out.

Ming Fan finds them and runs for help.

The rumor of the Qing Jing peak lord qi deviating after whipping his beloved disciple out of sheer horror and grief spreads like wildfire. Shen Qingqiu and Shen Yuan avoid each other for a month.

What does Luo Binghe think of all this?

At first, he admired Shen Yuan, favored disciple as he was. Then he envied him, for he was the only one Shen Qingqiu never hurt.

Then he felt ashamed, for Shen Yuan was kind and worked so, so hard, he deserved to be favored. Luo Binghe saw how the others treated him, and that only made him admire him more. Shen Yuan rose above his circumstances even when others attempted to bring him down.

Shen Yuan cross referenced an older Qing Jing disciple's manual with a Qiong Ding and a An Ding peak one, and his own Qian Cao manual, and wrote Luo Binghe a personalized manual (he also learned Shen Qingqiu kept faulty manuals around?? And sometimes gave them away?? WHY???? ((Shen Jiu confiscated them during his tenure as head disciple and never got rid of them. He did give one away accidentally, but Luo Binghe's and Shen Yuan's he gave on purpose)). Luo Binghe cries and hugs his kind, beautiful Shixiong. His cultivation improves immensely after that.

Shen Qingqiu notices this, notices the new manual and Shen Yuan's, who's become his Head Disciple, handwriting. He summons Shen Yuan to the bamboo house and berates him.

At first, Shen Yuan believes Shen Qingqiu is shouting at him (he lost his patience!! Shen Yuan 2, Shizun 0!) for not letting him kill Luo Binghe. Then he thinks it's actually for defying his authority.

Then, it dawns on him.

Shen Yuan had told him Luo Binghe had enough talent to surpass him and he shouldn't stifle it. Shen Qingqiu hissed an incredulous: "Then how would you fight him off when he turns on you?!"

Shen Qingqiu was going purple on the face over the thought of Shen Yuan giving Luo Binghe the tools to eventually hurt him

At first, Shen Yuan had been offended on Luo Binghe's behalf. Then, because was Shen Qingqiu trying to sow discord between them or something?

Then he remembered that in PIDW Shen Qingqiu gave Luo Binghe a faulty manual too, that he poured tea on him after Luo Binghe earnestly told him about his mother. Remembered how when he first began his good one boss! routine, Shen Qingqiu tensed imperceptible when Shen Yuan trailed after him. How he's come to know this man, the way his eyes glint when he is satisfied and how his hands shake when there's a qi deviation incoming. How his lips twist when displeased, and how his breathing hitch when he is in danger. His come to know his paranoia. He's learnt to recognize the way this man wears fear and realizes that that's what he's seeing now.

Shen Qingqiu is scared.

And when Shen Yuan looks back to what he knows of his Shizun, the things he's done in this life and the other. Many behaviors who seemed erratic and unpredictable, suddenly make sense when framed by fear.

And now he realizes that Shen Qingqiu is not only afraid of Luo Binghe, but he is also afraid of Shen Yuan.

But more than that, he's afraid for Shen Yuan.

Suddenly this game they play is not so fun anymore.

It never should've been.

(It might've never been, but Shen Yuan can be just as blind as his Shizun when he doesn't want to face the cruel reality he was reborn in.)

Anyone know where I can read the orv novel and also the tcf novel?

Look at this majestic man also the middle finger at the bottom of the shoe is ✨

Took me forever to finish this because this vain little young master won’t leave me alone until I made sure everything on his person looked absolutely dashing and gorgeous.

Ref for pose and composition: X: @tnadmszo01

I would eat a fic like that

I think it would be interesting (angsty) if the OG! ChoiCale from Cut Yourself On My Glass Plate met themselves from [In the Borderline].

thoughts?

I'm now in love with this headcanon (⁠♡⁠ω⁠♡⁠ ⁠)⁠ ⁠~⁠♪

Every single day I'm grateful for that time I stumbled on the SVSSS headcanon that while Bingqiu is considered highkey confusing and lowkey cringe in the demon realm, Moshang is known as the Power Couple™. They're the demonic love story. The 'It Couple'.

Just generations of demons sighing over the dramatic and bloody love story of the Northern King and his right hand man plus spymaster, yearning for one of their own filled with such glorious violence and betrayal! A classic childhood friends to lovers narrative filled with ups and downs and copious murder and gore! Love at first sight! The story of the loyal spy who rose up the ranks of the brutal Northern Court, culling his competition while providing vital intel to his liege, all the while infiltrating the most powerful cultivation sect in the world and eventually even becoming a Peak Lord! The slow burn of all slow burns! All kinds of spicy complicated power imbalances! Sexy, unexpected age gaps! Years of heavy plot! Decades of passionate courting! The pinnacle of inter-species forbidden romance! The tale of a man who swore eternal loyalty after falling violently in love at the very first meeting, calling a mere Prince His King in his desire and determination to see his beloved's ascension to the throne that was his birthright, and the Demon Prince who was unexpectedly presented with fierce loyalty in a life that had until then been rife with treachery and grabbed it with both hands and never looked back!

...and there's Junshan and the weird human he keeps around. Somewhat interesting if you're into that teacher-student thing I guess. There were very few deaths. Some bland murders. The trial arc and the self destruct thing plus corpse hoarding was interesting but overall very vanilla. Unseasoned. Not even a proper decade of drama. Kinda boring. And Junshan's half human so they're like Walmart version inter-species romance. But whatever the Emperor's into I guess. His dad was kinda weird too but at least his relationship with that human woman had some kick to it. The new generation just doesn't appreciate a long drawn out painful romance tsk tsk...

Like infinitely grateful to whoever first spawned that headcanon. Never fails to make me laugh. Honestly the most hilarious thing I've ever seen in this fandom. Hope your pillow is always cold and you never stub your toe.

Spotify revoked my listening rights

Someone should make a fanfic about this I would eat it tf up

Beacrox:*creates a spicy dish at Cales request(because Cale missed eating spicy things T^T)*

Cale:*tries it*hmmmm…. It’s good, but it could use some more spice.

Beacrox:*utter confusion* …yes young master-nim. *thinking that Cale might be insane because this is the spiciest dish he’s ever been in the presence of*

Beacrox:*adds more spice anyways because he’s so confused*

Cale: still needs more spice.

Beacrox:*worried confusion intensifies*

Beacrox:*adds more spice*

Cale: perfect.

Beacrox:*more worried confusion*

Later- *Beacrox enlists Eruhabens help to summon the whole Cale-nim protection squad*

Cale:*is summoned to his fathers office to find perhaps every person he’s ever met standing there with Choi Han looking perhaps as confused as he is*

Deruth: Son… are you feeling alright?

Cale:…yes…? What is this for..?

Beacrox:*puts the spicy dish on the desk*

Alberu: Dongsaeng, this is an intervention.

Deruth: we think something might be wrong with your taste buds.

Cale: huh? It’s not even that spicy? Try it if you don’t believe me?

Everyone in the room: *tries it and immediately starts dying(-Choi Han)*

Deruth: Dear God! That could kill a small cat!

Ohn: as a small cat, I can confirm, eating any more of that would kill me.

Cale: Oh come on! It isn’t that spicy!

Everyone:*confusion*

Choi Han:…

Choi Han:… it isn’t that bad…

Everyone:*appalled*

Alberu: You two are fucking anomalies. This is not something a human, or any race for that matter, can consume without horrible difficulty.

Cale:*walks over to the dish*

Cale:*eats the rest of it to not let it go to waste because it really does have the perfect amount of spice*

Everyone:*in utter terror as Cale shows zero reaction*

Alberu: I am terrified of you.

Someone should write a fanfic about this (⁠✯⁠ᴗ⁠✯⁠)

Rok Soo's ability isn't Instant AU

Instead of being able to, very briefly and painfully, fuck with time; he got an ability based on all the absolute bullshit that's happened to him.

From the childhood, to his friends dying in front of him. All the shitty rumors that sprouted up, all the shit luck, all of it. Just, all of it.

So instead of Instant, he got Lament.

Lament is a scream capable of leveling buildings, at the cost of absolutely shredding Rok Soo's throat.

As a result of that power, Rok Soo doesn't talk often, and when he does his voice is hoarse and pained. He also refuses to speak at full volume, because while he's got a handle on his power, he's paranoid that he'll slip up.

So when he transfers over to the body of Cale, people notice.

The Young Master went to bed his usual talkative self, but when he woke up?

Barely a word, and when he did speak, a whisper.

Cale barely speaks a word to Ron beyond the single syllable required. Barely bothers to acknowledge Deruth. Relies on hand-speak and notes to talk to merchants.

Deruth is going crazy trying to figure out what the hell happened to his son, Ron is very close behind him because what the hell got past him? He's Ron Fucking Molan.

Then Cale comes home with a bedraggled punk that smells like the trash the killed Ron's family, and Ron has to listen in astonishment as he says more to this jackass than he's said to Ron in a week.

Basically; Cale's power of Lament is so strong and painful that everything Cale is paranoid of letting it slip, that he's selectively mute. This causes many misunderstandings, in true Cale fashion.

Attic-wife bingge (⁠ ⁠˶⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ꁞ⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠˶⁠ ⁠)❤️

BingYuan reverse transmigration except this Bingge hasn’t met SVSSS!BingQiu so he’s mostly just looking for a way back to his own world, which is difficult since his powers have been suppressed and Xin Mo is missing… cut to SY having hidden Xin Mo away in order to keep Bingge around while also doing his best to make sure he never gets familiar enough with the modern world to survive without SY there to help him.

Kdj: *points at sunfish* look it's you!

They're enjoying some time together XD

I NEED a fic of this

The Shen Jiu & Shen Yuan dynamic I need to see more of is Shen Jiu coming to see Shen Yuan as a father figure, perhaps even a mother figure. And not in the way you think.

We are always talking about Shen Yuan's wife beam, but we don't talk about his mommy beam. I think Shen Jiu could resist the wife beam if subjected to it, but I don't believe he has any defense for the mommy beam. Now, I'm not talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating earlier than canon, meeting a child Shen Jiu and adopting him.

I'm talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating after Shen Jiu has already taken over Qing Jin peak. I'm talking about 21 year old Shen Yuan transmigrating into the body of a nameless rogue cultivator, meeting fully grown man already in his thirties Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu, and hitting him with his mommy/daddy-issuesinator and causing him a life threatening Qi deviation.

Shen Qingqiu can't help but trust him, and eventually looks up to him, sees him as a wise elder he seeks out for advice. He fucking hates it but he can't help himself. This homeless man he met in the forest is the closest thing he's ever had to a father. Also. He sort of wants Shen Yuan to breastfeed him in a, and he means this, non sexual way and he can't cope with that. He would just feel so safe!!

Shen Yuan, 21 years old, rogue cultivator, first time transmigrator and the father who stepped up, thinks he befriended the scum villain, and maybe? He can be a good influence on him? Be a good friend and guide him towards a fully limbed future. He's practically raising him but nobody tell him that.

Shen Jiu lost his childhood to slavery and his teenage years to violent madmen. and now he's behaving in ways he doesn't understand. He once lost Shen Yuan in the town's market, ran towards a man who looked exactly like Shen Yuan from behind, and almost had a panic attack when the man turned out to be a stranger. It's all good because Shen Yuan found him before he started swinging Xiu Ya ("Have you seen my friend? He's this tall, clearly traumatized, but we haven't had the talk")

People think they're lovers at some point because Shen Jiu is quite possessive of Shen Yuan's attention, but everybody realizes that there's something way more innocent, and also weirder, and worse, going on between them when Shen Yuan drags Shen Qingqiu by the hand to apologize to the sect leader for being so rude when poor A-Yue is trying his best, and stands there with arms crossed, eyebrows raised, until Shen Qingqiu mumbles an apology, glances at Shen Yuan, and runs away.

"I'm sorry about that, Sect Leader Yue, he's had a bad day. I'm sure he didn't mean it."

Yue Qingyuan, someone who did actually sort of raise Shen Qingqiu, who's stood in Shen Yuan's shoes before, extracting reluctant apologies from an indignated Shen Jiu, to authority figures so he wouldn't get in trouble, is overcome by an intense, never before experienced wave of jealousy, so sudden it makes him spit vinegar flavored blood.

Then, a panicked Shen Yuan accidentally hits him with the mommy beam by accidentally adopting him (trying to befriend this guy who clearly needs a friend he can confide in!). And now he's placed himself in the young step-mom role who's desperately trying to bond with her new husband's teenage children but they're wired to not like her! (He used those exact words when explaining to Shang Qinghua where that new tension he has with the Sect Leader came from)

Liu Qingge is afraid of him. Maybe. He runs away when their eyes meet but he keeps leaving dead things at his feet so like, he's probably threatening him? He feels intimidated by him? Or something?

(Liu Qingge thinks Shen Qingqiu's older brother is so cool and really wants to hang out with him, but if Shen Yuan calls him Didi one more time Liu Qingge's barely held back "Yes, Gege?" Is going to jump out of his mouth and he WILL Qi deviate and EXPLODE)

When Binghe enters the equation shit gets a lot weirder.

First, he believes Shen Yuan to be Shen Qingqiu's neglected spouse (Shizun keeps leaving his poor wife alone when he goes out on night hunts and to visit brothels! Shen Yuan has needs!! He should be with someone who cherished him!! Someone who would treat him as he deserves to be treated, someone who'd wait hand and foot on him!!!) needless to say, Luo Binghe's teenage fantasies take on an even more illicit turn than in canon (it goes from "STERN TEACHER POUNDED BY STUDENT AT BAIZHAN TRAINING GROUNDS" to "NEGLECTED WIFE CHEATS WITH STUDENT ON HUSBAND'S BED!! IMPREGNATED WHILE HUSBAND IS AWAY")

Luo Binghe, of course, does his best to seduce him, but ends up being coddled and cuddled.

"it's like I'm his handmaiden, his shadow, the only witness to my lady's heartbreak at her husband's cold regard and indiscretions. Shizun won't spare him a moment if not to discuss cultivation or business! He won't allow Shen Yuan more than a head pat! and move away from any other touch! How ungrateful! They don't even share a bed! I brush his hair, I dress him every morning, I pour him tea and he lets me rest my weary head on his lap. The intimacy we share is not sexual, but Ning-Shijie, I wish it was! I saw the outline of his dick yesterday and I need it!"

"A-Luo please stop talking."

Then, he realizes he misunderstood. Shen Yuan is a cultivator so of course he looks so young! Shen Yuan is clearly Shen Qingqiu's father. He's constantly worried for his un-filial son and remains by his side!! That explains everything!!!(LONELY DILF RIDES YOUNG MAN ON QING JING'S LIBRARY!! HE WISHES YOUNG MAN WAS HIS SON!!!!)

He goes from trying to steal Shen Qingqiu wife to steal his father. He could be Shen Yuan's friend, lover, and son. His student. His confidant. His silly rabbit.

Shen Qingqiu KNOWS this. But nobody will fucking believe him!! The jiejies at the pavilion giggle and tell him he must be exaggerating, and when he went to Yue Qingyuan so he could intervene and fix it, Yue Qi just looked at him dead eyed and said to "Let him." !!! Let him what?? Deflower our father Qi-Ge??? Shame on you!! That beast is trying to break this family apart!!

But wait!!! look!!! a crack opened in the fabric of space and reality, leading directly to hell. Wouldn't it be a shame if someone were to, accidentally, drop kick this homewrecker inside it?

Luo Binghe's is gone when Shen Qingqiu realizes oh wait, that was a demon mark on his forehead wasn't it. Oh good, now he has an excuse. Baba will understand.

(Baba doesn't understand. Baba acts as if he's lost his soul and won't look him in the eye. He's also growing mushrooms bodies in the garden, and added a drop of Shen Qingqiu's blood in the seeds before planting? Which is odd. but at least if he's gardening then he's not staring at that swordmound for hours on end)

I don't even know where I'm going with this

Calepunzel calepunzel let down your hair

Cale Henituse the day he finally have his Slackerlife-chan