Latest Posts by vibbok - Page 3

Colin, Jon, and, Billy simply existing

Maya: ...

Maya: So when did you start attracting white boys?

Damian, slowly realizing that they are all in fact white boys: Oh my god...

Damian calls Lizzie ‘Mayflower’, Jon calls her ‘Lovebug’ and Diana calls her little Princess.

Also Steve 100% calls her little devil. Fight me.

Damian who starts dating Jon and is immediately thinking about marriage. Does he bother asking for Jon's input? No, he's already made their wedding invitations. Jon's over here being nervous to even hold Damian's hand for the first time (outside of the friendship), meanwhile Damian's thinking till death do us part.

He’s such a crash out but I would be too if I lived in New Jersey

Anytime someone makes Damian not the shortest an angel loses its wings….

Zatanna projecting her period cramps onto Constantine

Part 51! If you can't tell, I like to make everyone one of Bruce's exes. It really adds some spice, don't you think?

(Thanks to @dying-isnt-good-for-your-health @pencilofawesomeness and @oneconfusedfeesh for the questions!)

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(Explanation for repost under cut)

Hey, so the last time I posted this I made a really stupid joke about Constantine that, looking back, wasn't really great. I decided that the best way to fix this would be to just reupload the post without that joke because I acknowledge it wasn't great, or even funny in the first place. Thanks for your understanding! I'll be better in the future!

the reason Jason started learning to cook was because before he died he used to go to Dick’s apartment like once a month for stilted forced ‘brotherly bonding’ on the demand of Alfred, and Dick had to cook them dinner every time up until the time where he mixed up the salt and the cocaine he’d been holding onto for evidence for one of his cases and he accidentally drugged them both to shit. the night ended with them deciding it would be a wonderful idea to go on a quick patrol and they blew up like three cop cars. Dick paid Jason off to never tell Bruce and after that Jason refused to let him cook for them and had to learn how to do it himself.

Forcing Oliver into being friends with Damian and Jon like a helicopter parent.

something something lord supermans son jon hating damian for a lot of reasons but mainly for being beautiful

Jason: wow ur gay huh

Tim: what just because i wear flannel I’m gay now??

Dick: no that’s not

Tim: just because i like making weird voices and my own sound effects when telling a story

Dick: Tim no one thinks you’re

Tim: just because i cry when watching Queer Eye

Dick: we get it you’re not-

Tim: just because i slept with Kon like a couple times that makes me gay

Dick: you’ve made your point- wait what

Tim: just because i use hair products and can’t sit in a chair properly

Dick: no go back to that last part

Dick [showing off Tim to the Titans]: this is my new wittle brother, Robin! Be careful not to startle him, he’s almost too gay to function

Tim: for the last time I am NOT g-

Kon [walks in]: who the hell are you?

Tim: …

Tim [whispering]: I’m sure there’s a perfectly good heterosexual reason for this

Tim Drake, CEO: So, why did you move to Gotham?

Employee: To tell you the truth, I was skeptical at first, but my husband insisted. He’s a big Batman fan.

Tim: I see. Are you a superhero fan as well?

Employee: yeah, not Batman though. I like that other one… what’s the name…

Tim: Robin? Black Bat? Batgirl?

Employee: no… Red! Red Robin! Yeah, I’ve seen him around, saw him save a bank. Now that guy was cool.

Tim: Interesting.

Tim [whispers to secretary]: Remind me to give him a promotion next month.

Dick: Alright, Dami. Your turn for game night.

Damian: Thank you, Grayson. I presume you’ve heard the tune of “old Mcdonald had a Farm”?

Dick: do you want to sing that?? <3 :D :D

Damian: indeed. With each new animal named I shall then adopt said animal

Steph: really?

Steph [singing]: And on that farm he had a possum eey ie eey ie oe

Damian: Consider it done

Dick: no

Jason [singing]: and on that farm he had a hippo eey ie eey ie oe

Damian: acceptable choice, Todd

Dick: sTOP

Tim [singing]: on that farm he had *five* crocodiles

Dick: HOLY ZOOTOPIA HELL TIM PLEASE DON’T ENCOURAGE THIS

forgot to post full image

Horrid horrid idea I have is that Jon kills Ultraman and tries to take it to the grave, absolutely tries to live like he didn't kill a man that looks like his dad.

Unfortunately for Jon,he's being haunted by his ghost. Even more unfortunately his bff/situationship Damian can 100000% see and understand Ultraman's ghost and has to resist the urge to threaten thin air around Jon

JON BEING HAUNTED YES! It drives Jon insane. do you mean only damian can see it? because that makes it even more interesting! Jon is haunted by nightmares and is deteriorating and while he knows killing ultraman is weighing on him he doesn't understand how its got this bad this fast and lo and behold its ultramans literal ghost trying to drive him to madness. damian is trying his best to get rid of him without alerting jon and its not going so well...

Popular art blogger/online artist Damian with fan Maps is awesome

She even commissions him once and Damian,who doesn't really need to or want to only did bc Maps made the coolest idea ever and he just HAD to. Neither notice till Maps shows up with custom keychains he made and they're like the spider man meme

Damian and Maps bestie arc begins trust‼️‼️

OMG SUCH A CUTE IDEA I LOVE IT

JUST A SKETCH OF THEM, I'M SORRY 😭✋‼️✋‼️‼️✋‼️✋‼️✋💖‼️💖‼️

Tim calls a family meeting and everyone thinks he’s coming out as bi.

He comes out as Santa.

damian wayne better than me bc if i was sent to bitchfuck america with no sun and the whitest cracker family on earth who treat my family like terrorists i would’ve begun killing not stopped

HEADCANON

Bruce and the kids saving a coin for every time Dick changes lovers is my new headcanon. They all agreed that the money saved will be given to the one lover that stays more than one year with Dick.

Kori was an almost winner. Bruce liked her, and the kids also warmed up to her, altho damian took longer bc of his suspicion agaisnt aliens. She helped Dick in many ways and kept him out of too much trouble and she was caring. But that one lastes 11 months and 15 days (tim keeps count).

Then the jar kept filling and Wally arrived, but no one had hope for it, although they were best friends for a long while and still going strong after Wally came back from Speedforce.

It was tim (the one regulating everything) that announced at dinner that Dick and Wally had been dating for one year and 3 months.

Dick: why?!?!?!

Jason: *walks back with a jar full of money and gives it to wally* congrats wally!!

Dick: WHATS HAPPENING?!??

Bruce: well, dick, some years ago we decided to save money for every lover u had.

Tim: and we agreed that the money would go to the one that lasted more than one year.

Duke: we saved a lot of money for that, u kept changing lovers, jesus.

Cass: I had hope in kori.

*batfam nodding along with Cass statement*

Wally: may I ask how much money is in here?

Tim: 1000 dollars.

Wally: *looks at dick* idk if I should be jealous or worried.

Dick: please don't, okay.

Somehow Wally also saw that as a reward and a challenge that they would not break for a long time.

as much as i love angst i do also adore familial league of assassins shit, and since i keep seeing them on my tiktok fyp i cant stop thinking about those videos of idiot teenagers in military training being. teenagers. and thinking of jason and damian. just those two having weird little gimmicks and traditions that confuse the absolute fuck out of the rest of the family from their time at the league.

damian will refer to grapes as ‘assassination implements’ because of that time jason tried to throw one at him, missed, hit ra’s in the back of the head, and to avoid getting out of trouble gaslit him into believing it must have been some kind of dart that hit him from a coup attempt. ra’s went into lockdown and had the entire base searched and jason’s been lying about it for a year, nodding along whenever ra’s brings up the ‘irritating failure that escaped capture’.

nanda parbat had a specific bar that a lot of the assassins would go to when off-duty for a break, but damian wasn’t allowed because talia said he was too young so jason and a couple other loa workers dressed him up in fake facial hair and convinced the bartender he was just a really short old guy to get him in, and since then whenever they talk about something damian’s done that he wasn’t supposed to do they say it was ‘old man brutus’ that did it. bruce has no idea who the fuck brutus is or why two of his sons find his existence so amusing.

whenever the assassins were fucking around on loa grounds they would have a specific low-down gravely tone of voice that when any of them saw talia or ra’s approach, they would use to warn the rest of the group by saying ‘al ghul’ in that tone to indicate everyone had to straighten up and act like they were training. damian can copy that tone perfectly, and will use that voice when saying non-sensical words like ‘ooby-dooby’ and ‘birch tree’ because the tone makes jason instinctively straight up and whirl around like a soldier hearing the word ‘sergeant’. it works every fucking time.

one of damian’s tutors and jason’s mission colleague hated coconut milk with a fucking passion and would rant about it every time it was brought up in conversation. a lot of the guys would take bets on how long she could go talking about it and then purposely brought it up to set her off as a game. every time anyone around the loa base was seen with coconut milk somebody would respond ‘what would eden say if she saw you with that?’. tim dick and bruce do not know who eden is or why they hate coconut milk and at this point they’re too scared to ask.

all im saying is the loa becomes much funnier if we consider it just to be a very strict assassin boarding school that jason attended and damian grew up in.

(they're watching bluey)

Y'all can't keep letting kon babysit alone

LOVE when Damian is the normal one and Jon is fucking mental. Not even, Jon goes crazy to save him mental I mean like he’s just neurotic in his everyday life.

Jon: if I don’t save the world everyone’s going to die

Damian: please go back to sleep

Jon becoming progressively more and more obsessed with Damian in the same way that proximity makes you more likely to start liking someone.

Like if you see someone frequently or your physically close to them a lot you're more likely to have romantic attraction to them. I think because Jon would always either be with Damian or listening to his heartbeat it would work the same, except with normal people there's obviously no way to CONSTANTLY be aware of someone, for Jon he can just listen to Damian's heartbeat 24/7 or even easily watch him from a distance whenever he feels like it. If people are more likely to catch feelings from just proximity being aware of someone at all times like that would probably lead to some sort of obsession, like I love the head canon that Jon needs to listen to Damian's heartbeat to fall asleep.

Damian:.... *plays around with the flag* What do you want?

Bruce: Just checking

Damian: Hmhm

Bruce: That is not yours

Damian: *ignores him*

Bruce: You should give it back

Damian: No

Bruce: Damian

Damian: *ignores him again*

Bruce: *pats his shoulder and motions him to give him the flag*

Damian: *groans but reluctantly gives up* You are making me unhappier

Bruce: I get that a lot

Damian: *flops back on the bed*

Bruce: *also plays around with the flag*

Damian: Hypocrite

Bruce: That, too.

Bruce: Tomorrow, I will get you one

Damian: *shrugs*

Bruce: Which one?

Damian: The bi one so I can match with the family

Bruce: *smiles* Size?

Damian: Bigger than Tim's

Bruce: Of course

Damian is very proud of his sleep schedule. He nurtures his body, mind and soul, he wouldn't be able to keep up with their lifestyle if he didn't. And getting enough sleep is a massive part of that.

So when someone messes with his carefully crafted sleep schedule, he gets very pissdd off.

Unfortunately, Tim's self-defense mechanism against Damian's attempts at establishing dominance is forcing the kid to take a nap.

Damian is not amused. He's losing sleep at night because of it.

So, he quickly stops attacking Tim. His schedule is more important.

Jon becoming progressively more and more obsessed with Damian in the same way that proximity makes you more likely to start liking someone.

Like if you see someone frequently or your physically close to them a lot you're more likely to have romantic attraction to them. I think because Jon would always either be with Damian or listening to his heartbeat it would work the same, except with normal people there's obviously no way to CONSTANTLY be aware of someone, for Jon he can just listen to Damian's heartbeat 24/7 or even easily watch him from a distance whenever he feels like it. If people are more likely to catch feelings from just proximity being aware of someone at all times like that would probably lead to some sort of obsession, like I love the head canon that Jon needs to listen to Damian's heartbeat to fall asleep.

Jon's the type to know only mainstream anime like demon slayer and jujutsu kaisen, meanwhile Damian's in deep watching animes no one's thought about since the 90s

OMGGG YESS, no because I'm so sure Jon only knew Naruto or Dragon Ball and introduced that to Damian, not expecting Damian to actually get into Anime.

Suddenly Damian is talking about Yu Yu Hakusho and Inuyasha and he's like: what have I created?