Latest Posts by void-occupation - Page 4

Will: Dumbest scar stories, go! 
Cassandra: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. 
Alyss: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. 
Gilan: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. 
Horace: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. 
Halt: 
Halt: I have emotional scars.

Bonus:

Will:

Will, concerned: You good dad?

Halt, sobbing on the floor: I don’t know what I’m crying more about, the fact that I’m not ok, the fact that someone finally asked me, or that you just called me dad.

Halt:

Halt: I love you too son.

This is actually a really cool concept.

So, you know how Rocket Raccon can pretty much Jerry rig a gun, bomb or other weapon out of anything? That's Bee. At first, people are super surprised because Bee showed little to no interest in the technological work that goes into space bridges. HOWEVER, what the team forgot was that a lack of interest does not equal a lack of competence - Bee understood the technological aspect of space bridges perfectly, he just found it boring as all hell. When you actually get him in his element, he is scarily competent.

He is also the go-to escape artist. Everyone would think it was Prowl, and while he is good, Bee spent so long tinkering with the intricacies of something that could blow him to pieces with one wrong move that he became a master of skilled involving extremely precise motor skills and dexterity. It's to the point where he has integrated several easy-to-access but difficult to find lockpicks in his own plating.

Anyways, we love a competent if slightly unhinged Bumblebee

Au where Bumblebee is the team's weapons and security specialist.

Sometimes, I think we all just forget that Halt is in fact a huge fucking Nerd™. Think about it.

All the stuff he knows about history and culture and languages and geography, and just about anything he can get his hands on. It is especially mentioned in the first four books, like when Horace is trying to avoid a history lecture from Halt - and he is so familiar with them that he can tell just from the tone Halt is using that he's about to start one.

Halt just genuinely enjoys learning about the world around him, and I think that is awesome. It's nice to be reminded every now and then that Halt is just super smart. Tactics, cultures, food, plants, law in other countries - you name it and he probably knows a good bit about it. Even art! He's always the one to do artistic stuff (Shield emblems, writing out and making seals for documents (forged, obviously), making weapons and disguises and acting - whatever is needed, he's got it covered. And you know that if he doesn't know about something, he is sure as all hell going to learn.

Just wanted to bring that up, remember to incorporate things like that into writing, it's a pretty neat character trait that never actually gets touched on.

"Of course I have a lot of pent up rage. I've been the same height since I was 12."

-Halt O'Carrick

Will, looking at Halt, Pauline, and Crowley: Someone forgot to tell the third wheel that they're a tricycle

Will: I just saw Halt drop his cup of coffee

Will: It's been 45 minutes but he's just staring at the puddle on the ground, tears silently streaming down his face

Will: Honestly, at this point I'm too afraid to help

Halt: Will?

Will: Yeah Halt?

Halt: When it's only 7:30 in the morning and I've already heard a question that I know will be one of the top three dumbest questions of the day, it depresses me

Will: Sorry Halt

Halt, frustrated: Oh fuck me!

Crowley: I thought you'd never ask

Halt, waking up after being knocked out for the 2274879th time: Oh, I survived. Great. Love it when I do that

YOU.

You are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT and I don't know how I missed that. It just makes it even sadder every time someone makes fun of him for it.

BUT...

I think I can make this even worse

Now imagine, Halt's seasickness is caused - not just by brain trauma - but by a combination of that and a mentally scarring and fundamentally traumatic experience like... oh, I don't know

Your twin brother trying to drown you while on a fishing trip

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE

because this wouldn't be the first time trauma has made Halt sick at the sight of reminders of it. In particular, a certain line from book 8, when Halt is telling Will and Horace about his childhood, and he mentions that Ferris tried to poison him with a plate of shellfish, but it only made him violently ill to the point where he almost died

What does he say? Oh, that's right. He says, "I still can't face the sight of a plate of shrimp." HMMMMMMMMMMM Even worse??? When he says this he's joking about it

Nice trauma response you're making jokes about there, Halt. It's funny because we all know for a fact that if anyone else were to make jokes about their responses to trauma, he would be all over their asses

To sum it up, Halt gets physically ill when presented with trauma related triggers (specifically childhood trauma), and the brain damage only exacerbated that fact

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk and goodnight

Halt's Brain Damage

I mentioned Halt's head trauma in an earlier post, and said that I would elaborate on it. Well, this is my elaboration. Keep in mind, I am not a health care professional, I am only certified to perform first aid. I am only speaking from what I have witnessed in someone who has had a similar condition from a motorcycle accident, and from what I find and cross-reference in my internet search on the matter.

Halt, as we know, has suffered MANY blows to the head - a lot of which could have been fatal if not for the intervening hand of Lady Luck and some very conveniently placed Plot Armor™. Now something that both the characters in the books, and probably a good portion of the readers either don't know about or haven't considered is the resulting brain damage - or more specifically, the damage done to Halt's gray matter.

For those of you who don't know (no shame), gray matter is tissue in the brain that is largely responsible for motor functions, emotions, and memory. Gray matter cells are known to be the longest lasting cells in the body, but they do tend to degenerate and die as people get old. There are other things that can speed up the process of gray matter cell death, most notably Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, multiple sclerosis, and traumatic brain injury.

I have a friend who was once in a bad motorcycle accident that resulted in a metal rod and screws being put into his wrist, and a sudden increase in gray matter cell death brought on by the head trauma. He was a teacher of mine and currently has a wife, daughters, and grand daughters, and he is just over fifty years old. I had the same class with him all year for 4 years (JROTC), and during that time, I was able to see how the condition affected him as time passed. He does make jokes about it, and is very open with it. I also asked him if it would be okay to post this beforehand, don't worry. The symptoms that Halt experience in my headcanon align with this because it is my closest experience with it.

Obviously, these characters don't know what gray matter is, but that doesn't mean it won't affect Halt, and some of these symptoms are things that Halt experiences in the books. I'll give examples of that too.

One of the symptoms of gray matter damage is difficulty controlling emotions. Now you may be saying, "But Void, Halt practically patented the ability to control emotions," and you're right. However, we all know that Halt has a pretty quick temper that can lead to some rash decisions - and this seems to get slightly worse as the books go on. One of the biggest emotions that people with damaged brain matter have issues dealing with is anger - closely followed by sadness and feelings of emptiness (AKA signs of depression).

Another symptom of gray matter damage is memory loss. The only example of this I can think of off the top of my head (that doesn't include when he was poisoned which is a whole other type of trauma) is when he had extreme trouble finding the correlation between the red hills and Redmont in book 7. Then again, it was a stressful situation and no one can be expected to notice everything. Not to mention that he was the only one to make the connection at all. This one and the next one are more for angst potential then as current existing evidence. Imagine really quick as Halt gets older that the memory loss starts slow - forgetting that he already told someone something, forgetting where he put something, etc. Small stuff. But later, it gets worse. He starts to forget meeting new people, important past events, how to cook certain things, or even just trailing off in the middle of a sentence - unable to remember his original purpose for speaking, almost as if a sort of fog has started blocking things out. A lot of times, he'll know that he knew it at some point, but sometimes, he doesn't remember that he knew that thing in the first place. Sometimes gentle reminders will work, and other times, entire stories, recipes, and tasks will have to be completely re-hashed with him.

The final symptom I'm going to cover in this already too-long post is how gray matter damage affects fine motor skills and language. I'm fairly certain that there is an example of this somewhere in the books, But I would have no clue where to look. We're going full angst potential on this one boys. Again, it starts small - some slight tremors in his hands here, a troublesome button there. Then, it gets worse as the years pass. Having difficulty tying knots, writing getting more and more difficult, cutting his hand while trying to prepare food, dropping his mug of coffee for no apparent reason, sometimes slurring his speech, forgetting certain words from other languages, not realizing that he had reverted back to Hibernian in the middle of a sentence because his brain temporarily stopped being able to comprehend Araluen speech.

Halt doesn't want to tell anyone that the changes in his behavior that he can't seem to control frighten him. He's never been genuinely afraid of his own mind before up until he could no longer control what happened. It was a type of fear he was unfamiliar with, but couldn't stop from growing every time he failed to tie a knot, or someone told him about an event he couldn't remember. Everyone else was afraid too, but they toned down their own fear whenever they saw that desperate look in Halt's eyes that he couldn't quite hide, the one that begged for any confirmation that he wasn't crazy.

What the hell. I just wrote an entire essay. You know those posts that say, "In this essay I will discuss..." but they never get to the essay? Yeah, that but completed. This was born from the fact that Hal't has had a bunch of head injuries and I immediately thought 'haha brain damage go brr' and proceeded to write that in essay form. If you've made it to the end of this monstrosity, more power to you.

I'm going to try to go into a coma now.

Halt's Brain Damage

I mentioned Halt's head trauma in an earlier post, and said that I would elaborate on it. Well, this is my elaboration. Keep in mind, I am not a health care professional, I am only certified to perform first aid. I am only speaking from what I have witnessed in someone who has had a similar condition from a motorcycle accident, and from what I find and cross-reference in my internet search on the matter.

Halt, as we know, has suffered MANY blows to the head - a lot of which could have been fatal if not for the intervening hand of Lady Luck and some very conveniently placed Plot Armor™. Now something that both the characters in the books, and probably a good portion of the readers either don't know about or haven't considered is the resulting brain damage - or more specifically, the damage done to Halt's gray matter.

For those of you who don't know (no shame), gray matter is tissue in the brain that is largely responsible for motor functions, emotions, and memory. Gray matter cells are known to be the longest lasting cells in the body, but they do tend to degenerate and die as people get old. There are other things that can speed up the process of gray matter cell death, most notably Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, multiple sclerosis, and traumatic brain injury.

I have a friend who was once in a bad motorcycle accident that resulted in a metal rod and screws being put into his wrist, and a sudden increase in gray matter cell death brought on by the head trauma. He was a teacher of mine and currently has a wife, daughters, and grand daughters, and he is just over fifty years old. I had the same class with him all year for 4 years (JROTC), and during that time, I was able to see how the condition affected him as time passed. He does make jokes about it, and is very open with it. I also asked him if it would be okay to post this beforehand, don't worry. The symptoms that Halt experience in my headcanon align with this because it is my closest experience with it.

Obviously, these characters don't know what gray matter is, but that doesn't mean it won't affect Halt, and some of these symptoms are things that Halt experiences in the books. I'll give examples of that too.

One of the symptoms of gray matter damage is difficulty controlling emotions. Now you may be saying, "But Void, Halt practically patented the ability to control emotions," and you're right. However, we all know that Halt has a pretty quick temper that can lead to some rash decisions - and this seems to get slightly worse as the books go on. One of the biggest emotions that people with damaged brain matter have issues dealing with is anger - closely followed by sadness and feelings of emptiness (AKA signs of depression).

Another symptom of gray matter damage is memory loss. The only example of this I can think of off the top of my head (that doesn't include when he was poisoned which is a whole other type of trauma) is when he had extreme trouble finding the correlation between the red hills and Redmont in book 7. Then again, it was a stressful situation and no one can be expected to notice everything. Not to mention that he was the only one to make the connection at all. This one and the next one are more for angst potential then as current existing evidence. Imagine really quick as Halt gets older that the memory loss starts slow - forgetting that he already told someone something, forgetting where he put something, etc. Small stuff. But later, it gets worse. He starts to forget meeting new people, important past events, how to cook certain things, or even just trailing off in the middle of a sentence - unable to remember his original purpose for speaking, almost as if a sort of fog has started blocking things out. A lot of times, he'll know that he knew it at some point, but sometimes, he doesn't remember that he knew that thing in the first place. Sometimes gentle reminders will work, and other times, entire stories, recipes, and tasks will have to be completely re-hashed with him.

The final symptom I'm going to cover in this already too-long post is how gray matter damage affects fine motor skills and language. I'm fairly certain that there is an example of this somewhere in the books, But I would have no clue where to look. We're going full angst potential on this one boys. Again, it starts small - some slight tremors in his hands here, a troublesome button there. Then, it gets worse as the years pass. Having difficulty tying knots, writing getting more and more difficult, cutting his hand while trying to prepare food, dropping his mug of coffee for no apparent reason, sometimes slurring his speech, forgetting certain words from other languages, not realizing that he had reverted back to Hibernian in the middle of a sentence because his brain temporarily stopped being able to comprehend Araluen speech.

Halt doesn't want to tell anyone that the changes in his behavior that he can't seem to control frighten him. He's never been genuinely afraid of his own mind before up until he could no longer control what happened. It was a type of fear he was unfamiliar with, but couldn't stop from growing every time he failed to tie a knot, or someone told him about an event he couldn't remember. Everyone else was afraid too, but they toned down their own fear whenever they saw that desperate look in Halt's eyes that he couldn't quite hide, the one that begged for any confirmation that he wasn't crazy.

What the hell. I just wrote an entire essay. You know those posts that say, "In this essay I will discuss..." but they never get to the essay? Yeah, that but completed. This was born from the fact that Hal't has had a bunch of head injuries and I immediately thought 'haha brain damage go brr' and proceeded to write that in essay form. If you've made it to the end of this monstrosity, more power to you.

I'm going to try to go into a coma now.

Heads up, there's going to be quite a few on here, because I have a lot to say on the matter. Mind the tags, there is some potentially triggering stuff here

Halt's back is covered with scars from beatings his father gave him as a child. He also has a nick on his left ear from where a bandit threw a knife that narrowly missed his head. The place where the poisoned arrow hit him in book 9 left a permanent discolored scar that always reminds Will how close he was to losing his teacher. There is a split in his right eyebrow and an accompanying scar that goes all the way up to his hairline from a close call with a bandit that actually knew how to use his sword. Halt has multiple scars on his scalp hidden by his hair from the number of times he's been hit on the head (there are other side effects as well, but I'll make a separate post on that later). The wounds from the Kalkara are still on his leg, and will cause chronic pain when the weather changes, or after a particularly long day riding. There are self-inflicted injuries on his inner thighs, the oldest being from his childhood, and the newest being from after Will was taken. He's not proud of them, but he is proud that he hasn't relapsed since - though he has come close plenty of times.

Will has a couple lash marks from his time as a slave, and the nerves in his fingers and toes are damaged from the exposure he suffered through in the yard. He has exactly one scar on his wrist from an attempt on his own life, but thankfully Halt recognized the signs from his own experiences and put a stop to it before he got worse. The incident was actually what lead to Will learning of Halt's own struggles, though Halt didn't tell him that the issue was right behind him rather than a long time ago.

Alyss has a scar along her palm from a deep cut from when she was first learning to use her dagger. She wasn't being irresponsible or anything, but she had dropped it and reacted on pure instinct by catching it. Unfortunately, while she did catch it, her hand had wrapped around the blade. She's still a bit embarrassed by it, and she learned the number one rule of a falling blade the hard way: let it fall and get clear, DO NOT try to catch it.

Jenny has countless burn scars on her hands and arms from accidents in the kitchen - both as a student to Chubb, and in her own restaurant. There are so many that the nerves in her hands have been damaged to the point where she is completely unable to feel texture.

George is completely content with the only major scar he has being from the arrow he was hit by in Nihon-Ja.

There's more swimming around in my brain, but I'm tired and this post is long enough as is.

This is your invitation to talk about what scars you think the RA characters have and how they got them

You made it even better, and I love that.

Adding to it a bit, I feel like Halt would be the type of person who - unless he is woken in the field under threat - doesn't quite understand what anyone is saying when he first wakes up. You know that feeling where someone is telling you something, but it doesn't make any sense because your brain isn't fully loading yet? Yeah, that.

HOWEVER, Halt doesn't like looking stupid, so he'd just reply to whatever his brain is telling him the other person said - hence the random things being said. This leaves the other person bewildered, amused, and - in Crowley's case - completely ecstatic.

Just Imagine:

Tired and sleepy Halt saying random things because his brain isn't functioning properly.

This is the first fic I've ever written and posted, and I literally woke up at 1 AM to write it, only to immediately fall back asleep once I was done. I hope to write more in the future, especially when I get back from my 5ish month hiatus around the end of November, so let me know how I did!

Crowley, in a hospital: Halt, what's my blood type?

Halt: A Positive

Crowley: Well, I guessed wrong - call a doctor

I love this??? This also only furthers the 'Halt is actually a cat' mentality which is always a good thing in my eyes. Also gay

Ranger Gathering 2023 Prompt 1: Camp

Set during The Early Years: Yes there is Cralt in it. What did you expect.

The rangers were all sitting around the fire, holding mus of coffee in there hands, just enjoying each others company in silence. There wasn't really anything to talk about, no one could come up with anything interesting to say, so they didn't say anything.

This was really some of the only times the renegade rangers could relax, as they were busy at the momen trying to find and recruit other rangers to join them and team up against that bastard Morgarath.

Crowley looked around the circle of rangers around the camp, just being grateful that they were here. He turned his head and looked at Halt who was sitting next to him. He was staring into the fire, looking tired and drowsy.

Crowley shuffled a little closer to him and wrapped his arm around his friends shoulders. Halt looked up, slightly startled by the sudden touch, but relaxed when he realised it was just Crowley. But Crowley didn't stop there. He pulled Halt closer to him in turn, practically forcing the Hibernian to lean against him and rest his head on the red heads shoulder. Surprisingly, Halt didn't complain or protest, he just seemed to accept his fate.

Leander noticed this exhange between the two friends and hid a smile. It had been a long day, with a lot of riding and he knew the young Hibernian was exhausted. Leander turned his attention back to his coffee for a few minutes, but when he glanced back up he saw one of the sweetest and adorable sights he had ever seen.

Halt had fallen asleep aginast Crowley's shoulder and the older ranger was gently stroking his hair. As Leander watched he saw Crowley pull Halt's cloak further around his shoulders before pulling him closer and hugging him tighter.

Crowley glanced up, saw Leander watching them.

'I'm never moving again,' Crowley said completely straight faced. Then he continued. 'I will force him to stay with me like this forever and we will die like this.' He said it with such seriousness that Leander had to laugh softly at that.

'I'm sure you will.' He replied.

either autistic characters need to stop being so relatable, or I need to see a doctor

Alrighty the recent poll of who draws on who in the RA world brought me to a whole new idea

Autistic! Halt + drawing on skin/doodling

- Halt's hands are always littered with texsts and things to remember, as he isn't actually that good at remember *certain* things. (Some things stick, some don't, to do's and people are especially non-sticky)

- He gets distracted fairly easily in long briefings, but doodling on his skin helps, it keeps him from retreating into his own mind too much. Crowley knows this by now, and always has two pens with him for Briefings.

- Halt has trouble with showing love and affection in a, what he deems to be, 'socially normal and acceptable way' (kissing and touching, public hugs, saying I love you...) so he has a habit of doodling on the arms of the people he loves. Small imprints of his presence there, as if to say 'I want you to think of me, as I do of you' Crowley often has a bunch of his freckles connected to form constellations, or birds species (one of Crowleys absolute favourite things, it's why he loves to whistle)

- When Halt goes bad, getting to draw can sometimes help. Either as a form of mindfulness, or as a plain communication tool when he goes mute. He'll draw or write out what he needs at this time of distress. (And as Ranger's they dont tend to take a lot of paper, because it'll get wet anyways, so skin it is)

- Sometimes he thinks the drawing will help, but then he'll just get stuck in it, drawing the most horrid, deformed faces on his, or Crowley's hand, way too fast, and actually quite hurtfull, because of the tip of the pen. But even though it hurts, he can't stop. Crowley knows he hates this, and will be careful to wash his hands after a breakdown like this, so Halt doesn't have to see what he drew.

- When Halt gets really bored and doesn't know what to draw, he'll just ink his entired hand, but because ink doesn't go off easily, it can stay on there for a few days when it's as layered like this, terrefying possible opponents.

More Ranger's Apprentice Headcanons Because I Have No Self-Control (featuring bullet points!!)

I'm back on my bullshit, so buckle up buckaroos, it's gonna be a bumpy ride

ALSO, before I forget, I received an anon ask about if it was okay to write about my headcanons and such, and that is absolutely 100% okay!! I would love to see other people's interpretations of my thoughts, that's why I put them out there, so please feel free to interpret them as write about them, just give me credit, and let me know so I can see it!

Halt snorts when he laughs, but only if you really get him going. When he does, he'll turn bright red and try to cover his face, which works all well and good if the reason he's laughing so hard is because someone caught him super off-guard with a joke. However, nine times out of ten, he's only laughing that hard because someone decided to test his ticklishness (usually Crowley, but the others do it too once they find out), which means he can't cover his face without almost immediately moving his hands to grab the wrists of whoever's attacking him out of reflex

Speaking of Halt being ticklish, he would never admit it even under threat of death, but he actually doesn't mind being tickled. It shows him that people care enough about him to get close and try to make him laugh. He also finds it kind of nice to just be able to let loose and laugh when he usually can't out of fear of either vulnerability or tarnishing his reputation. Needless to say, if he lets you get away with tickling him, it's the ultimate sign of trust (kind of like a cat laying so its stomach is exposed and trusting you not to attack it)

When Halt is focusing on something, he has a habit of sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth (which I believe is something Horace actually noticed in KoC)

Halt has a bad habit of biting the sides of his fingers when he's nervous. If Pauline or Crowley happen to notice, they'll gently bat Halt's hands away from his mouth

If there is ever a mission that requires disguised infiltration in a high-class setting, Pauline and Crowley will almost always be the ones to handle it - and not just because of how well they coordinate off each other and work together. The main reason is because they both noticed how tense and jumpy being in that sort of environment made Halt after their first such mission. He never brought it up to them, and until KoC, they didn't understand the reason why (though they both had their theories)

Due to his royal upbringing, Halt is actually a very good singer and can play the piano as well (I don't know if the piano existed at this point in time. It's fiction. leT ME HAVE THIS)

Halt said that he can't face a plate of shellfish without throwing up, but he was underselling just how much even seeing a serving of shellfish deeply disturbs him. He'll usually start having a panic attack within the first few minutes, his mind telling him that the food is laced in poison, and that he is 16 years old and back in Clonmel.

Halt and Will both have severe PTSD, but only Halt is ashamed by it. At first, Will was ashamed of the way he was affected by his trauma, but Halt and his other friends shut that down really quick. Halt however, never had anyone who knew about what he went through, so he never had anyone to tell him that his struggling was okay. He was afraid that Will would end up the same way as he did, which is why he fought so vehemently against Will thinking he was doing a "bad job" of handling his trauma

Halt is very much a "do as I say, not as I do" kind of teacher. I mean look at him. This man's never even heard of self-preservation, but god forbid anyone he cares about pulls some self-sacrificing bullshit (that he pulls maybe 30 seconds later)

The O'Carrick Curse

I just talked about a headcanon in the comment section of a fic that I just read, and realized that maybe I should post it here too.

In the fic ("who you are" by mipmaps on A03) Will ends up offering the surname 'Treaty' to Halt, who accepts, which I am absolutely in love with because of the headcanon that I am about to share with you guys.

I feel like Halt sees the surname "O'Carrick" as a curse, especially when he considers how miserably and/or tragically every O'Carrick (that we know of) has lived and died.

~ Halt mentioned that his parents argued all the time and were pretty much straight-up neglectful to everyone but Ferris. (I also headcanon that they were abusive, but I'll go more in-depth about that another time).

~ Ferris was so blinded by greed that he tried to kill his twin brother multiple times over a throne, and did so terribly at being king that he was most beloved by the people when that same twin was pretending to be him - not to mention that when he finally started to do better, he was instantly murdered for it.

~ Caitlyn spent her childhood being neglected and forced to grieve as the one person who truly cared for her apparently died, and she was the only one who really knew who was behind it. She also spent her whole life being sickly, and it was eventually what killed her, leaving her son (who I'm sure Halt was grateful didn't carry the same name) alone with her snake of a brother.

~ And Halt. He was also neglected his whole childhood to the point of being so afraid of hurting his parents' relationship that he would rather run away and leave everything he had ever known and loved behind then tell his parents that his brother was trying to kill him. Speaking of, his twin brother - with whom he spent his entire childhood, and loved in a way that only twins can - tried to murder him on three separate occasions for a throne he didn't even want in the first place. Shortly after this, Halt lost the man who he had come to see as a father, and had to deal with the survivor's guilt brought on by being saved by Will's parents, and leaving Will himself orphaned. He also didn't tell a soul about who he really was until literal decades later. He had to give up a second home in order to save his son apprentice that he felt responsible for losing in the first place (whom he has almost lost multiple times - the majority of which he felt responsible for). Then, he lost the man that he considered a brother (or perhaps a lover????). Not to mention the fact that by book 8 - aside from Sean - his whole family was dead.

I feel like Halt was bittersweet about his standing as the last of the O'Carricks. One reason, is he's glad no one else has to carry the burden of the (in his mind) cursed name. A part of him however, wonders if perhaps Halt was the curse all along. That was another reason that Halt didn't offer Will the O'Carrick name at his graduation, he was afraid that sharing a surname with Will would leave his former apprentice vulnerable to his curse.

When Will first offered his surname to Halt, the older ranger teared up, and Will was startled when Halt seemed to be on the verge of breaking down.

Before Will could start apologizing, Halt found himself pouring out all of his thoughts about the curse that he had feared his whole life, and his fear of inflicting it on Will and causing him the same misery. Will was completely stunned, because the only other times Halt had been this vulnerable were when he was telling Will about his mother, and when he spoke about his own childhood, and even then, those times were nothing like this. He had never heard this self-loathing from his teacher before but as he processed the words, he realized that it must have been hidden deep within Halt all this time.

Will took Halt's hands in his own, cutting off the older ranger's uncharacteristic rambling, and looked deep into his stricken eyes. "Halt," his quiet voice cut through Halt's mind like an arrow, "You are many things, but a curse is not one of them." Halt's eyes misted over, and it was all he could do to maintain eye contact. Will had never seen this level of vulnerability and hurt in his teacher's gaze, and he would do anything to take his pain away.

"You are not a curse, or a burden, or a monster, and it is not your fault that things with your family turned out the way that they did. You were as much of a victim as they were, if not more so." Here, Will took a deep breath, and bent slightly to maintain eye contact with the Hibernian whose dark gaze had drifted downwards to hide his shame. "Do you know what you are?" The soft question was rhetorical, for Will needed no one to give him answers besides his own heart and memories, "You are a protector, a kind soul, and the greatest man I have ever known. And I am proud beyond belief to call you my friend, mentor, and father."

At this, Halt's gaze snapped back up in shock. How could Will still say that after seeing him like this? After all the broken promises, and the hurt and heartache cause by simply being associated with the former prince? However, before he could speak his thoughts, Will plowed on. "I offer you my surname, not out of a sense of debt or obligation, but because I love you, and I wish for the world to know that we are family, and nothing - no self-believed curse, no painful pasts, and certainly no self doubt - will ever stop me from seeing you as my father. I offer my name because I see how much pain your own brings you, and if I can do even one thing to show you the same care you have always showed for me, then I will gladly do so."

By this time, tears had begun to flow freely down Halt's face, and Will's own eyes burned as well. Slowly, Halt nodded and whispered his acceptance which Will had to strain to hear. The younger ranger pulled his father into a strong yet warm embrace that he could only hope expressed the love he had for the slight man before him.

As Halt melted into the embrace, he felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and though it would never truly leave him, the pain of his curse finally melted away as accepted the family he had feared for so long.

I literally love this whole thread with my entire being, and I'm not entirely sure why.

Halt gets to Skandia and Erak sees him and decides, "Hey, Halt is an old friend, might as well see what he's up to," and now he also gets to see the absolute chaos unfold as this unintended throuple meets up and has to explain themselves to each other. Erak doesn't think he's ever seen any of them so embarrassed before. While he may be able to put it aside for Karina and maybe Thorn if he does some begging and is extremely lucky, Halt has no such chance because of how much of a sarcastic pain in the ass (mostly affectionate) Erak finds him to be. Erak will not only never let Halt live this down, he will gleefully spill the beans to every mutual friend he and Halt have

According to the wiki, Karina Mikkelswife is two years older than Halt and that feels cursed somehow

Random Ranger's Apprentice Headcanons (mostly Halt tbh)

I might elaborate further on some of these later, and I definitely have more than I'm posting this time around. Let me know what you guys think. I love having conversations about this shit

~ Will has found that the best way to ground himself during panic attacks or hard days since returning from Skandia is to hold a warm hand and a mug of coffee. He wasn't allowed to have coffee as a slave, and while Cassandra (then Evanlyn) held his hand, hers was always cold

~ Halt has a hard time sleeping because he is constantly plagued by nightmares. When Will was taken, he started having them about his death, and how the apprentice would blame Halt for being too slow

~ Halt is actually ambidextrous. He was born left-handed, but his parents forced him to learn to use his right hand due to left-handedness being seen as a sign of the devil. He still prefers to do a lot of things with his left hand though

~ Crowley is an only child. His parents tried for years, and it was only after they had given up that his mom became pregnant with Crowley. He is close with his parents, but he was unable to talk to them at all after Pritchard was banished up until Morgorath was defeated out of fear of putting them in harm's way

~ It was never diagnosed, (because, yk, the middle ages), but Halt actually has POTS syndrome. It wasn't too bad when he was younger, he would get out of bed and black out sometimes, or he would stand up and have to freeze for a moment until his head and vision cleared, and doing extreme exercises was fine, but walking up the castle steps could only be done with controlled deep breathing. However, in the last year of Will's apprenticeship, it seemed to get worse. The first time he full-on passed out in front of someone, he and Will had made camp, Halt had stood up only to collapse back to the ground. Will was frantic, and practically cradled Halt in his lap until he became responsive again about 12 minutes later

>> Will had never been that terrified in his life, because it was the only time that Halt was ever completely unresponsive when it was just him and Will throughout his whole apprenticeship. The guilt of that terror was what convinced Halt to see a healer (though it didn't do any good)

~ Pauline is 100% open to the idea of bringing Crowley into her and Halt's relationship, but they are both too scared to bring it up to her, so she has to do everything herself

~ He would only say this under threat of imminent death, but Arald sees Halt as a younger brother, mind you, a younger brother who constantly causes chaos and deserves to be cuffed around the ear sometimes, but still

~ Alyss once punched someone in the face and threatened their life for insulting Will behind his back

~ Before KoC, Will played a Hibernian ballad at a ranger gathering, but never noticed Halt slipping away with tears in his eyes, as he had picked one of Caitlyn's favorite songs

~ Believe it or not, Halt is actually incredibly ticklish. Will and Gilan learned this after Crowley pinched his sides at a gathering and Halt shrieked and leapt into the air. They will never let him live it down, and Crowley is obsessed with the weakness, finding it absolutely hilarious and adorable

~ Horace cried the first time he held Maddie. Then Will came to meet her, and he cried even more

~ Halt's regular handwriting is a strange mix between cursive and print, but he can copy anyone else's handwriting with little more than a glance. It's a skill that exasperates anyone who has to read his reports, because if they annoy him beforehand, he'll use their own handwriting

~ Before coming to Araluen, Halt had never seen a snake before, and his unfortunate first meeting was with the renegade rangers when a (fortunately non-venomous) snake got tangled in his blankets and he woke everyone else up screaming absolute bloody murder. Since then, he always freezes at the sight of a snake, and Crowley tells the story any time he's reminded of it

Halt to Ferris, all the time: You know, when I was your age *proceeds to describe what he did 7 minutes ago*

"I'm not short. I'm just uncommonly untall."

-Halt, Will, and literally every ranger besides Gilan

Crowley: Are you bleeding?

Halt: ...No?

Crowley, practically vibrating at this point: That is not a question you should answer with another question

Halt: You ever just look back and cry-

Will: Halt, it's okay to miss your childhood-

Halt: -tears of relief that you don't have to deal with that anymore?

Will: ...Halt, are you okay?

Halt: I'm fine, why?

Whatever you do, don't think about how the song "Remember Everything" by Five Finger Death Punch fits Halt and his childhood trauma to a T.

I'm not going to go into a full analysis. I'm not going to go into a full analysis. I'm not going to go into a full-

FULL ANALYSIS AHEAD (disclaimer: "Remember Everything" does not belong to me)

"Dear mother, I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. Dear father, forgive me. Cause in your eyes, I just never added up. In my heart I know I failed you, but you left me here alone."

Halt talks about how Ferris was the favorite child, and how his parents fought all the time. We all know by now about Halt's tendency to blame himself for things (as seen in "The Battle for Skandia" and "Erak's Ransom"). He probably blamed himself for his parents arguing all the time - hell, he literally said that he refused to tell his parents that Ferris was actively trying to kill him because he thought that Ferris was the only thing they cared about and he didn't want to take that away from them. Even though it was his choice, Halt was a kid. He probably felt at least a little bit abandoned and betrayed that his parents didn't seem to even notice anything amiss before Halt ran away.

"If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain? Cause I remember everything."

Something else that is touched on in the fourth book is Halt's tendency to deflect conversations that confront him on his fears and such. It's a fairly offhand note, but it has some pretty big implications. Halt has this need to make sure that everyone else is okay, while simultaneously ensuring that no one ever sees his suffering. He is constantly shielding other people, and feels guilty when he requires that same protection.

"Dear brother, just don't hate me for never standing by you, or being by your side."

I refuse to believe that Ferris was the murderous evil twin from the start. There was probably a very large portion of heir childhood where Halt and Ferris were close, before Ferris became obsessed with the crown. That would be a good reason why Halt only suspected Ferris later on. I feel like Halt would spend a lot of time telling himself that it was something he did that sent Ferris over the edge, and he would blame himself for the betrayal.

"Dear sister, please don't blame me. I only did what I thought was truly right."

I can't be the only one who thinks that Halt always regretted leaving Caitlyn behind, but he knew it was either that or kill Ferris, which is something I don't think he would ever be capable of doing. He loved his twin too much.

"It's a long and lonely road when you know you walk alone."

I know that Halt wasn't technically alone, and he became part of a massive found family, but not being able to tell anyone about the things he went though, and the people he left behind as well as his reasoning would have been isolating - if not crushing - for anyone. Hell, no one knew his real last name or anything about his past for just about 24 years. Not even mentioning the fact that when he finally admits it, he is 41 years old, so he has hidden this for well over half his life, not counting the 17 years he actually lived in Clonmel. That is a long time to carry around huge amounts of trauma without telling anyone who cares about you.

"I feel like running away, I'm still so far from home."

This one is fairly obvious. However, it is not talked about nearly enough that Halt is a runaway. Let that sink in for a second. What do you think of when you hear the term 'runaway' in reference to a child? For most, it's the thought of a kid escaping an abusive household and living on the streets with nothing but a backpack filled with belongings. That was what Halt did at 17. Except he had to go all the way to a foreign country to escape his situation. And the only person he ever saw from home again was the person who had made him leave in the first place.

"I'll burn it all to the ground before I let you in."

This is pretty much Halt's whole philosophy on showing any sort of emotion to people. He didn't smile around Will until months into his apprenticeship, and it took years until he was able to summon the courage to tell Will the truth about his mother. And again, the whole 24 years of absolute secrecy about his childhood doesn't exactly show someone that is willing to open themselves up to others.

"Please forgive me, I can't forgive you now."

Halt still blames himself for the rift between himself and Ferris, but he is also consumed by hurt and betrayal over the fact that Ferris cared more for the crown then he did his own brother, and I can't blame him even a little bit for feeling that way. Especially considering that when they do finally meet up again, Ferris shows no real sign of regret for his actions.

All-in-all, this just feels like a violently Halt-esque song. The pain and regret is something I think his character suffers a lot of, and this captures that really well.

If you made it to the end of that ungodly ramble, kudos to you because holy hell, I think I was temporarily possessed by the god of angst.

Can we just take a moment to realize just how screwed up Halt's apprenticeship was?

First things first, the fact that it was probably only about 2.5 years at most. According to timelines that I have seen worked out by others, and have worked out myself, Halt probably would have been a few months after his 15th birthday when he met Pritchard, and it's pretty bold to assume that they started training together the day they met. When Halt left Clonmel, he said he was around 17 and a half, so that's maybe 2 years of training. Not to mention the fact that he wasn't even living with Pritchard at the time and was also learning how to rule a country. He probably didn't receive much one-on-one training from the renegade rangers, but I could believe that Pritchard picked up the slack again once they met up. But then Pritchard dies. And then Halt gets his silver oak leaf.

what.

But wait, there's more! Not only did Halt receive absolute minimal training time, but he didn't have the proper equipment either. TEY talks about how the only proper equipment he had was a bow, and that everything else was pretty much jury rigged (like his double scabbard). He didn't even get to start training with a proper ranger horse until months after the very end of his official training. He most likely had to practice with either the closest equivalents to ranger tools or Pritchard's sets.

When you really think about it, Halt probably had to learn most of his skills on the job without backup in Redmont.

But, it gets worse.

You may say, "But Void, how can it get any worse?" and I'll tell you.

There are a few events whose timelines have to be adjusted due to Flagagank's inability to remember his own character's ages (*cough cough* Halt's time with the Temujai *cough cough*), and this means that a lot of the really important missions that Halt was sent on early in his career that are mentioned throughout the books - such as stealing the Temujai horses and taking down whoever that one guy with the mace was - all took place as Halt was still trying to make up for the gap in his training.

Let's put a little perspective on it.

Imagine Will for a minute. Now imagine that he didn't start his training for a good 6 months after Choosing Day, and that he didn't live with Halt, but rather with Baron Arald. At the same time he's training with Halt, he's learning how to do Arald's job, while also fending off assassination attempts. Now, a little under halfway through Will's training, make him leave the country and shove him into an active war situation. He and Halt don't get to meet up until about a year later. Then a few months after that, Halt gets McFucking Murdered. Then, make Will a full-fledged ranger and assign him to a fief.

That's exactly what happened to Halt.

Bro.

It's no wonder he's always so hard on his apprentices. Man has no idea what a normal apprenticeship looks like, he was making shit up as he went

Edit: I think Tumblr ate my posts, so we're trying again to see how it goes

Fandoms and emotional support characters

Alright, let's go

Marvel - Tony Stark + Peter Parker + Rocket Raccoon

DC - (The Batman with Robert Pattinson is the only DCEU movie I support) Bruce Wayne + Raven

Transformers - (Not Bayverse) Bumblebee + Soundwave + Ratchet + Optimus Prime

Ranger's Apprentice - Halt O'Carrick

Tangled the Series - Eugene Fitzherbert

TMNT 2012/ROTTMNT - Both iterations of Raphael, and 2k12 Donnie

Criminal Minds - Spencer Reid

9-1-1 - Evan Buckley

Leverage - Eliot Spencer

The Walking Dead - Daryl Dixon

Stranger Things - Steve Harrington

Harry Potter - Harry Potter + Severus Snape

Ducktales - Donald Duck + Scrooge McDuck

Race to the Edge - Snotlout Jorgenson

We Bare Bears - Ice Bear

Trolls - Branch

The Mandalorian - Din Djarin

Lego Ninjago - Zane Julien

Rick and Morty - Rick Sanchez

Puss in Boots - Puss

The Owl House - Hunter

Warrior Cats - Firestar + Jayfeather + Gray Wing

Helluva Boss - Moxxie

Hazbin Hotel - Alastor

Yes I am aware that they are all men. No, I do not experience a sexual attraction to them. Rather it's like they are all simultaneously my fathers, my children, and my emotional support babygirls. I want to hurt them purely to see them comforted. I want to watch them struggle mainly to see how they overcome their pains, and I want to see fluff because there is a reason I call them my trauma buddies and I want them to have good things. (I have gay ships for most of them on top of straight ships, on top of no ships, on top of ot3s). I'm sure I'll end up adding to and subtracting from this list as time passes, but this is the most current one.

Also, I will not read or write reader insert or OC-centric fics. I don't know why but they make me irrationally angry so I avoid them

Let's get started

So, this is my first ever post, just wanted to let people that I have followed know that I am in fact not a bot (crazy, I know), and I wanted to set the basis of what people can expect from this blog.

First things first, I will have no activity from the beginning of July to the end of November 2023 for important personal reasons (I don't want anyone thinking I died), and I wanted to at least get a few things out before I forget them during my forced hiatus.

As my description says, I am in many fandoms, and am willing to talk about all of them! However, my brain has latched onto one or two characters in each and insisted that they become my trauma buddies, so I won't talk about anyone else as enthusiastically. I'll go ahead and make a separate post about the fandoms I'm in along with my trauma buddies, so feel free to hit me up and start a conversation (anon or not are welcome)!

Here's the link for the post with all my fandoms and the characters I'll write for: https://www.tumblr.com/void-occupation/718121684263108608/fandoms-and-emotional-support-characters

Things I will not tolerate include:

Racist, homophobic, ACAB, incestuous, or otherwise shaming remarks

MAP supporters/sympathizers. Get the fuck out.

Politics. This is for when I'm surrounded by my family trying to duck out of the conversation, not Tumblr.

Porn. Don't send me graphic shit, I don't want to see it, I'm asexual I have very few exceptions to this, and I'll follow the blogs that meet those exceptions. If I haven't followed you, chances are I don't want to see it. You'll be blocked if you send it. Just don't.

Pressure for a face reveal. I'm not very fond of the way that I look, and I like to keep anonymity. It's comforting.

As far as I know, that's about it, so if you don't do that stuff, we should be pretty chill.

As for what should be expected to come from this blog, I'll probably end up doing a lot of incorrect quotes, rants, theories, headcanons, and maybe some fics. I'm also planning on making edits when I come back from my hiatus, so we'll see how that goes.

I'll probably post the names for my Ao3 and Tiktok accounts once I get those up and running, but it might have to wait.

I think I've typed long enough, and for those of you who made it all the way through this, I am aware that I write like an English teacher, my brain insists upon it, I swear that I am actually 18, and not a time traveler from the 1800s

Edit: apparently Tumblr ate all my posts, so we're gonna try again and see how it goes

Edit #2: Ao3 is Void_Occupant (I like to keep shit simple)