To Finding;

ENCHANTED 💫

My past took me for granted

Then you held my hand and enchanted.

I realised magic isn't about pixie dust

But in the heart of people we trust.

(04.11.20)

"if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more"

"whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same"

"my very soul demands you: it will be satisfied, or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame."

"my affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever."

"you pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope… I have loved none but you."

Thoughts from the ledge

Standing on top of the tower one night,

Knees shaking from fight or flight,

Cold wind swishing past my numb face

As my heart starts picking up its pace.

I took a minute to look around

The shops, the people and the city's sound

Massive buildings standing upright

Others with their blue and red neon lights.

Then I stared at the ground below,

And how it would feel to finally let go

Twenty-something but I've felt enough

That I stand on the ledge and not to bluff.

I saw many streets that I still couldn't name

I've been here for two decades, what a shame!

That's when the irrational optimism kicks in

To hold on to the ledge, to find strength within.

So I step back and sit to clear my mind

To think of everyone I'd have to leave behind,

Places I'll never be, and moments I'll never seize,

And just maybe, in between life I'll find my peace.

And in the centers...

A CELESTIAL INSECURITY

Is the moon envious of the sun?

And it's radiance that cannot be outdone?

Is that why she hides behind the earth?

Calls it an eclipse but, doubting her worth.

What does she see when she looks into the lake?

Her molten silver face or the distortion that ripples make?

Is this why poets always write about her desolate beauty?

Because she's more like us than any character from a movie.

A celestial body far far away

Like all our insecurities in display

How many times have we envied others radiance,

And hid away from an audience?

Doubting our worth, causing self-esteem distortion

By looking at a person's life only in portion?

So like her, we go through phases

And like her, we grow through phases.

I Never Could

With a shy smile and a dusty guitar

You sing me a song about rainy afternoons

You close your eyes and get lost in the lines

Leaving me envious

Of the words that left your lips

And those strings under your fingertips

I want to reach out, hold your hand

Instead, I hold myself back

Try not to break the spell

But you pull me close, hold me tight

Between now and then, I give up the fright.

It's not a fireworks-and-butterflies kiss.

Instead, it feels more like a sea breeze

And coming home

I peek a glance to see that your eyes

Are closed the way you do when you sing your lines.

Your arms wrap me from behind,

Your head on my shoulder, breath on my neck.

You hum a song

That we claimed as ours, like a wind in my ears.

This time around, it's your guitar that's left envious.

I kiss your freckles, scars, and moles.

And wonder how the songs could leave your lips

Because I never could.

One day, one rhyme- Day 2485

I could achieve anything, but

I’m scared to begin.

There are insidious whispers

Lurking deep within,

And they speak their snide utterings,

What-ifs and maybes

And possible problem checklists

Will cause me to freeze.

I must flex my resilience,

Fight the fear within,

Because not one thing will happen

Until I begin!

FLOWERS AND SCARS

The flowers you once gave

Are now my bookmarks.

Dried and black,

Yet somehow artful.

Like the scars, you left behind

To bookmark

The person I was, and have become.

Dried and black,

Yet somehow hurtful.

(13.11.20)

“Fuck you, my child is completely fine” 

YOUR CHILD IS OBSESSED WITH SIX CRIMINALS!

If this ain't your jam we can't be friends!

“my child is completely fine”

uhh your child listens to achilles come down on repeat while romanticising the beautiful tragedy of death.