Otp Dialogue - Blog Posts

Okay but who invented the trope of the 'hero's side kidnaps the Villains very sweet,meek, kind sidekick/friend/relative for a hostage situation but turns out they're actually scarier than the villain' and have they been awarded a noble peace prize yet. (Bonus points if they're very bossy and the villian is low-key scared of them. Also if they're very old.)

"Hello Villain, we've kidnapped x—" "I'm sorry." "Well you should be and uh," " No, I'm sorry for you, good luck." *Hangs up*

Hero "We don't want anybody to get hurt." "Me either," *standing up already having undid their bindings* "So if you'll just step aside."

*Tiny person dressed in bloodstained pastel colours and floral designs walks into villains lair with a single fork in hand* "Villain! How long does it take to pick up a single person from the hero's, I had to walk all the way over here!" Villain*sweating* "I'm sorry."

When the villain has been quite for days, Hero breaks into the villains lair to find their plans, they expected it to be hard, but hard as in boobie traps, but what they saw was much, much worse. Truth was the villain is... The villain is a... Massive slob. Slob as in literal piles of hoarded items all around.

"Well, truth is I was drawing up a plan for a takeover, but I kind of, just... Forgot were I put them, And I don't really have the best memory, so... I just remember it involves massive lab grown penguins... And I may or may not have already placed an order."

"Do you remember literally anything else!"

"let me think... Hmm... Naw, I got nothing. And I don't appreciate how judgemental you're being."

"Finders keepers bitch!!" "May as well if I can get a clean house out of it."

*shoving a giant box filled with candy wrappers in the garbage bag.* "You can't seriously be living like this."

*scrunching their nose at like 10 giant bags of dog food* "You know, I was considering switching to your side, but now I don't think I can't trust someone who lives like this."

*about the giant stack of teddies all with various villainous accesories* "The state of your house is literally making me more anxious than the giant penguins that could be loose in the city right now."

I will absolutely inhale any piece of media containing, my beloved, 'Two same-gender people, likely a mean girl and good girl are initially presented as romantic rivals for the most average boy you'll ever meet, but turns out they were just really gay aNd dumb all along.' it just has so hard 'fuck men, who even needs em anyway' it gives me life.

aNd And, when the mean girl (or boy) AGGRESSIVELY tries to deny her own gayness by trying to convince herself she just has feelings for the boy, and just fails so so bad. Like her internel monologue is just 264996 things I hate about you and then proceeding to simp plus extra for the girl and then telling herself she's into the boy. It's a high and I'll chase it all my life

+ if the boy's and adorable himbo jock and thinks they're into him. The second hand embarassment!! 😂. Tbh works if he's an ass too but flipped on its heed, the absolute joy of watching him embarrass him.

I can read 37926 books with the exact same plot.

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Bitches with trust issues love enemies to lovers because they love the idea of seeing someones worst traits first and still be able to fall in love them without the everpresent underlying fear of weather their worst is something genuinely evil. It's me. I'm bitches.

Enemies to lovers-: taken by surprise in a ball edition

A fancy ball but one party uses it gain advantage and surrounding everybody

Everyone rushing to loosen their ties and take of their jackets and tearing slits in their ball gowns and pulling out the hidden weapons that they definitely weren't supposed to bring

Bonus points if one pulls one out from behind their waistband and make eye contact with the other pulling one strapped on their thigh

Group combat when someone shoots at the ceiling to make the chandelier fall on one of them and the other runs to save them seconds before the impact,

Bonus points if it's the villainous one and they do the annoyed 'I can't believe I'm doing this' growl before running

Post Saving eye contact

When they're fighting and they perfectly matched and in sync and you can just see they'll be such a power couple.

During combat eye contact and banter

I just really like eye contact okay

When one is about to fall back during combat and their opponent grabs their wrist and/or their teammate comes up behind them to catch them.

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Too many of my favourite tropes are just popular trope x exact opposite, but, cocky Villains are great but, but villains with chaotic energy and filled with self doubt + self-deprecating humour. I dunno could be really good.

" That really should NOT have worked."

*wide eyed and nodding head excessively* "Yup, yup definitely should not have, yup, but uh, it did, and ah, I don't know what to do now, you see I thought I'd be blown to bird food by now. But I can't ever have what I want can I?"

*awkwardly* "oh, ah, I see, umm, are you okay?... Buddy?"

*loud explosion* *wipes black dust out of face with a deadpan* "And of freakin cause my dear experiment literally blows up in my face. Of freakin cause"

"Why *Straight up bawling* can't anything ever go according to plan." *More whining noises*

"Why does the universe hate me!!"

Just pure cartoonish tomfoolery (bonus points if hero is kalm™ and they fit one of them is on a leash cause they can't be trusted couple trope)

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Are you a 'Tol pins smol to a wall with dagger to their throat'gay or are you a 'smol pins tol to the floor while straddling their waist'gay or are you a 'Tol is tied to a chair while smol uses a knife to lift their chin'gay

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Hero and villain are enemies but somehow end up co-parenting an angry gay youth (yes, I'm self inserting okay) who was a struggling street kid or smth (bonus points if they're also less than a decade older)

"Greetings, parental figure. This billionaire d*ck" "Language. " " is evading taxes and illegally dumping toxic waste. Do ya mind, you know stabbing him."

"..."

"... a little?" "I guess I could do that."

"Villain, you are ruining our child! How could you teach them that!"

"Urgh,‌ what's with the stick up your—"

"Language."

"Language! And I mean that it's ineffective as it doesn't solve the problem. I got this bro, I'm already documenting all his actions to conclusively prove his misconduct to the government." *Teenager raises eyebrow* "... And than maybe throw him in a crowded public sqare without protection. "

"Woahahha! I didn't know you could be so cool. Also, we are absolutely not in anyway Bros. Do not call me that again. Ever."

.....

(Part 1)

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Today on enemies to lovers tropes I'd do absolutely everything for is *drumroll* compliments disguised as insults, or one of them having genuine difficulty trying to give the other a compliment, or insults but they add the compliment they want to say just at the end.

"You're always too kind, you always give too much and stick around for someone too long, it's stupid and gets you into trouble. But... But... It's also kind of impressive, how you hold onto goodness so tightly. It's really impressive or whatever. "

" Your voice is so good, haha, it's like you're a stupid singer or something haha" "... thank you I guess. You're insults are getting sub-standard you know "

aNd of course, " I... I meant that as a compliment."

When enemies have to work together to infiltrate some grand party and act like a couple to blend in. Ah, good stuff.

Dancing in order to spy on everyone and one of them keeps getting too invested on someone they're watching and end up too close to the other.

"Someone's coming! What should we do."

"Hmm, I wonder. What could two young attractive people be doing here in this dark hall."

"ahh..."

One is walking by a broom closet door and the other's hand darts out and pulls them in, putting a finger to their lips.

"You two are such a cute couple." A *wraps their hand around B's waist*

B *smiling pointedly* "Yeah we are."

If your enemies to lovers doesn't have angry I hate this this and this about them monologues that slip into ticks only someone who's been closely observing them would know spoken in heavy denial is it even enemies to lovers.

I hate their smile and their eyes and how much they say with them god dammit and that the way their little finger twitches when they're angry is stupid. It's I mean it's not good.

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I found a new trope and I'm high on it. Hear me out. Grumpy bad character gets stuck with sunshine character in his property or company or whatever. And it predictably leads to bonding moments™ like sitting huddled together and talking about random things or sunshine grabbing grumpy's hand to guide them around in the darkness, or opening up about their pasts or just playing their favourite music whatever.

But here's the kicker, after they're out and grumpy's assistant is like reporting to them like, " I'll fire them all duh, because you're big bad grumpy blah blah" and they just do this smitten little secretive smile and be like "Naw, it's fine" or alternatively they start coughing and try to be nonchalant about it like 'it's whatever, I don't mind, you can let them go'

And the assistant is like *shocked pikachu face* 😲

The hero and villain fighting and the villians keeps using more and more power pushing the hero farther and farther back as they laugh at the hero trying to fight back and taunt and tease them, the hero biting back their responses. They use a blast a bit too strong and hero is thrown from their spot, the villain laughs and then stops when the hero doesn't reply. Tentatively saying hero and holding their breath waiting for a response, the panic finally settles as it doesn't come. Rushing to the hero's side to find them seriously hurt. Hurriedly taking them to be treated and the villian being overcome with guilt because they've been so disconnected with humanity for so long that they didn't even consider the possibility of the hero being hurt. They didn't want that.

(but I do. Can I have more of that)

Peak himbo/herbo/thembo energy in the trope of "being sure your enemy has crush on when they absolutely definitely 100% don't"+ making more and more ridiculous reasons to believe they do.

Villain-: Did you see how red they were when they saw me!! They are sooo smitten.

Overworked henchmen-: could be cause they had chase you on rooftops across half the city but *shrugs*

Villain-: they literally turned the city upside down to find me! They missed me so much. Ahhh

Henchmen- I mean you were holding people hostage but what do I know.

V-: They love watching me work. They were in my lab the entire day yesterday.

H-: You literally kidnapped them but sure.

This trope is my drug.

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This dynamic has me on a chokehold and I don't want it to stop!

The villain-: *tries to bring eternal pain and suffering on the hero on a bi-weekly basis*

Someone else-: *gets a tiny scratch on hero*

Villain-: *absolutely feral* *ready to smite them* "Only I get to hurt my hero!! How dare you."

aNd, Listen to me. "When I say no one but me gets to hurt you, that includes you. Take care of yourself."

And somehow they still manage to stay oblivious to their own feelings because of dumb bitch reasons, but when the hero is seriously hurt and they feel so intensely protective and do everything to save them before finally being hit with the 'oh shit' moment (after the hero is already dead if the writer is satan's dad)

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The best kind of pairing there is knife wife and mean pretty boy (gender neutral) who gets both scared and aroused with a knife under his chin.

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Favourite doomed romance of the day is the mortal lover dies tragically and immortal waits centuries for them to be reborn (or both die and are reborn) only for them to already be enemies with solid ground for hating them before they find out it's them.

The absolute emotional destruction is unmatched.

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Can more authors balantly self insert themselves into the side characters who constantly voice their shipping feels at the most inappropriate moments that's just good stuff. Like

"I hate you!" "I hate you more!!" *appearing uncomfortably close to their faces from God knows where* "Now kiss."

Two same gender people *glaring intensely at each other* "that's gay babes"

A *compliments B* "I ship it bitches!"

Just top tier comedy. Love.

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My basic bitch trait is I'll always flip a table for the painfully cliche enemies to lovers trope of calling the other sweetheart or love or darling or shit derogatory at the start and both getting used to it and it slowly becoming affectionate.

AND, when they fight when they fight they don't call them that at all instead of it being condescending again because their relationship has fundamentally changed to the point of no return. AND and if their partner feels the absence and misses it so deeply realising the effed up. I will ascend to a higher plane bitch

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Obsessed with the new dynamic that I'll call 'youre fired if you die'

A is boss/king of b. A is gruff and mean and socially awkward. B is sassy and sunshine and also mean. They do NOT like each other.

What follows is an idiots to lovers office romance filled with lots of bickering, ordering around (by grumpy) and mediaeval fantasy equivalent of unionization attempts ( by sunshine)

Highlights include-

"You're late." "It's literally just half a minute." "It'll be cut from your pay."

*sneezes in front of expensive object* *from the other room* "That'll be cut from you're pay"

*working slowly cause they cut they're hand or something* "Work faster." "I'm literally bleeding, can't you ask how I'm doing like a normal human." *Unable to in fact express concern like a normal human* "Well, stop bleeding."

And off course, *Actually dying* *in tears* "I'll fire you if you die"

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*in a single breath* That awkward moment when the villain who's been groomed their whole life by their parental figure/ class to have an inflated self worth and skewed view of their world's systems and general morality is forced to face the reality and everything they've believed their entire life crumbles around them rendering them almost incapable of functioning from the emotional stress and aslo maybe leaving them physically injured or wanted and so the hero is forced to or takes pity on them and has to take care of them and watch them go through the confusion and trauma of literally revising everything they ever knew and starts to see what they are beneath all their indoctrine for the first time and connect with them on their similarities—ahHh. So good

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The villain's mom walks in and catches Hero and villain in a uh, compromising position, (they were threatening each other!! Nothing else,,) the villain gets nervous and trying to quickly make up an excuse, and before hero could say anything, splutter out they are dating.

The hero tries to deny this but you see, the mother is the warmest person they've ever seen and her look of sheer hopefulness and the arrows of love she's shooting at them kind of makes it impossible. Plus, watching the villain be a complete mama's child as she croons at them and inquires about what they've been eating is very enjoyable.

What follows is a week of hero being infuriated at fake dating and slightly awestruck as the villain is babied and ordered around by their mother.

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The villain and hero anyhow end up in a place where the only people they know are each other and have to find someone/something to get out. They both say don't want to be near one another, but one of them gets separation anxiety and follow the other absolutely everywhere, while making up more and more ridiculous excuses and pretending to hate it. The other, sees right through it, but let's them do their thing and enjoy it.

The hero refuses to celebrate their birthday with their friends because they think the villain is planning something and they have to find out what. When the villain finds out about this they put their schemes aside to plan a party for hero. They lead hero on a treasure hunt and when hero thinks they're finally walking into the destination of villains plans, they are surprised by all their friends and family gathered for their birthday (All of whom agreed to help villain because quite frankly, they ship it.)

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It is common knowledge that the villain has a crush on the hero. Anytime a ragged looking civilian comes to hero's workplace, the receptionist points them at hero's office without questions. They frequently visit hero to complaint like they're asking to see a war crime's manager.

" Your villain tried to blow up my establishment!!!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME! they are not my villain!"

*angry white women walks towards hero* "oh for god's sake what did they do now!"

"Can you please keep your villain in check." "They're not my *sigh* I'll try. "

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Hero gets a hold of villains blueprints/plans. BUT the hero is a huge nerd and the villains plan is full of mistakes.

"Are you kidding me?! The estimation of *scientific jargon* is so *scientific jargon* it's gonna vapourise... But, but if we change this variable then *scientific jargon* it can work— I mean not, I uh mean ah your plan is correct. You should ah totally go through with it.

Hero x Villain mean girls au where citizens have a to wear villains colour one day of the week as show of allegiance. Wearing any other colour that is an offense that is punished greatly. A resistance movement grows where people wear the hero's colour on that day.

The hero has been kidnapped by the villain. Problem is instead of being afraid, the nerdy hero is just really excited by the shiny gadgets around villains lab. Now, the villain has to jump around trying to catch the hero while hero keeps evading them and pointing at objects asking about what evil scheme they'll use them for. (So far they pointed at two death rays, a particle accelerator, a pencil sharpener and others)

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"I'm only fighting these (Eldritche horror levels of danger) for you because I want to kill you myself. Don't think I'm trying to save you or care about you or anything. I totally totally don't." —the enemies to lovers dynamic we all love to see.

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One day hero walks in and completely gives up. They just don't care anymore. What's the point of stopping the villain today is if they'll have to do it again tomorrow.

The villain now has wrap their head around this fact and after (struggling with it) ask hero out on a road trip of self discovery because "it's no fun without them' *whiny voice* that escalates into bonding experiences and unsolicited character growth