Cabin Fever Time

Life Among Ducks turned 1 today! 7 JAN 2018

Women compose 14% of today's military forces. That number is expected to double in 10 years. Service [the film] introduces the issues faced by this wave of mothers, daughters and sisters as they return home. We want to wake up a sleeping civilian population to the challenges women face.

http://www.servicethefilm.com/

why.. hello, friend

I’ll attempt a tumblr on life now I’ve been diagnosed. It’s taken a while to understand what exactly is my diagnosis due to the length of time it’s taken me to get back to me. The discharge paperwork just mentioned psychosis but nothing else related to schizophrenia or schizophreniform.

I’m not sure if that is the experience most people go through in civilian hospitals or if that’s just the special treatment that veterans receive.  7 JAN 2017

😮🤬

Do NOT Support ‘Adam’ When The Film Comes Out

I’ve talked about this before on this blog but this is the most disgustingly transphobic and lesbophobic narrative I’ve ever come across. 

CWs: transphobia, homophobia, lesbophobia, corrective rape, voyeurism

The book Adam by Ariel Schrag is being turned into a movie which has been named as one of the most exciting LGBTQ films of the year. You should know before watching that the book is about a cis boy who pretends to be a trans man in order to persuade lesbians to sleep with him.

Yeah… you read that right.

Book plot summary: 

boy spies on his lesbian sister having sex

boy decides to pretend to be a trans man (gross)

i.e. pretends to have a vagina because he thinks lesbians will want him then (he literally wants to fuck lesbians because he watched his lesbian sister have sex wtf)

he does get a lesbian to sleep with him, he straps his penis down using ace bandages and uses a strap on.

all the actual trans dudes we meet identify as lesbians this basically implies that trans men are not real men (lesbians i.e. women)  

another time they have sex again only he uses his actual penis but tells her its a strap on. that’s literally rape, she didn’t consent to an actual penis.

he confesses that he’s been lying to her this whole time but she doesn’t break up with him. she even says its okay cause she fantasised about him being “a real boy"

that’s a direct quote. massive transphobia. huge. not to mention this is now the “lesbian is cured by dick trope” which is disgusting and that trope leads to real lesbians and bi women being raped to “fix” them. 

he leaves new york, they’re long distance. they get in an argument and he calls her a slut and a whore among other things and then she dumps him

eventually they get back in touch and she has a new cis boyfriend so yep, she’s been “cured” woo she’s actually straight and he helped her realise that yay (massive sarcasm)

It is deeply deeply transphobic. To imply that our identities are just costumes for other people to put on erases who we are as people. More than that, to imply it is done to trick people into sex is a dangerous lie that literally gets us killed.

It is also deeply lesbophobic. To fuel this narrative that lesbians can be “fixed” by having sex with a man leads to real corrective rapes happening. 

Here is a review of the book by a trans man. I have yet to find one by a lesbian but will edit this if I do.

This book gives out incredibly harmful notions about trans men and lesbians that are used to hurt them in real life. It’s so entrenched in the narrative that I don’t see how the film can possibly be any better.

I do not say any of this lightly. it’s very very rare for me to call out a piece of fiction or for me to decide that a story is unfixable. But this… there’s no excuse for the bigotry in this. 

I’d like to tell people to boycott it but I can’t tell you what to do. So instead I’m going to ask that you share this because it being named as an exciting new LGBTQ film is going to make LGBTQ teens want to see it. And they should know beforehand how hurtful it could be. They should be able to arm themselves with that knowledge.

Don’t make queer kids see this film believing it will represent them only to be exposed to this hatred of their identities. 

Please reblog.

vacation sunrise | 17 March 2017

A rainbow symbolizes hope.. hope for a balance between the sunshine and the rain.

17 NOV 2016

If some are still dominated by their former bad habits, and yet can teach by mere words, let them teach... for perhaps, being put to shame by their own words, they will eventually begin to practice what they teach.

Saint John Climacus, Step 26: Discernment | Ladder of Divine Ascent 15 NOV 2016

27 DEC 2017

I dreamed that I was stationed in Alpha Company during my psychosis and I was back in Headquarters Company for whatever reason.

I ran into McCants and they wondered where the hell I had been.. that I had disappeared off the rosters. I told them that I had been working retail and had been diagnosed with schizophrenia. From that, I guess they surmised that I needed help and began setting up a chow station.

I mentioned that the medication that I take (Risperidal) has made me gain 50lbs. They are horrified and I take that as a renewed sense to do PT after not exercising for a very long time.

I also recall trying to shine my non-Airborne boots because some officer was coming and my uniform looked “chewed up from the floor up.”

Time to shape up with yoga and walking every day

Time to start putting polish on my worn out boots

Important higher-ups are coming

Old colleagues have wondered where the hell I’ve been these past years.. time to gather them around and tell them the truth about my diagnosis

Time to start working on getting my voice out there and doing the work of advocacy

Before Dawn

Why did I have to wake up at exactly 0555 this morning?!? I didn’t get to sleep until after 2300 hours last night.

11 JAN 2017

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. 

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. 20 NOV 2016