How Can I Write When My Eyes See More Than What's Really There I Thought I Was Stronger But I Didn't
How can I write when my eyes see more than what's really there I thought I was stronger but I didn't know my heart was this bare When you can only stay up and keep nothing down Your body screams but misguided thoughts control the crown Reality is nothing but chemical levels and wavelengths To test your will and lack of strength Cheeks in blush that secretly flush out your will to stay alive Purple and blue never looked so cruel on calloused and bruised fingers Tasks that once were simple now make you tremble unless you pull the trigger Of that crystal pistol And watch days blur into one, until the final end when you look in the mirror Of a picture you haven’t seen in forever this clear Small shifts in appearance like sunken cheeks and vacant eyes Try to tell yourself it’s a better disguise
Can’t seem to sleep and too tired to weep At seven in the afternoon, half gone all along Watching with envy while I skip the rip on your bong Even if I could, my mouth can barely open With so many words that are still left unspoken
More Posts from Amandaaholic and Others
Rainy Day
Our pieces linger all throughout my head When I’d rather be next to you instead Cause it doesn’t always mean whatever the hell we said that night When stretched minds and weak hearts begin to fight
My knees may shake, but this heart of mine won’t break From sticks to stones, there’s so much I can take Bruising words when we try and speak I’ve emptied myself, and I’ve become weak
Driving down the same old street Sometimes I forget to breathe My voice is fading before I can finish singing When words barely seem to have any meaning My kaleidoscope perspective faded to black When you told me never to come back
Summer’s still the same but not enough time to waste with you When time became fake, but you stayed true Rain is falling here on this other side of town I’m sure that it’s clear wherever you are right now
I know that you wish me well But, darling I can never tell When you were the only thing keeping me around You were the anchor that never tied me down Now forever bound to the ground
I got drunk and took some selfies waiting for peanutbutterlung
I've really been feeling myself lately. I just really feel the need to get this out. But I mean, literally, I love feeling the way my body feels. I love the warmth of my hands. The softness of my skin. I'm finally at a point where I'm not ashamed of my body. Of course there's the cliche "I could be better" but I think I'm fucking hot. I think I'm beautiful, inside and out. And I wanna let myself shine, I wanna let myself fly. I deserve it. I've never felt this way before, but I really do deserve everything I can give myself. I am capable of so much. And I fucking deserve it all.
one of my favorite cold opens
Lately
Sometimes it's hard to tell who keeps secrets Because lately my spirit weakens While we all wait in darkening dumps Behind a facade of witty and trippy smiles But when was the last time you actually smiled? Like when we had to stop by that corner coffee shop even just long enough to say hello Back then we had each other, and what we have now I don't know The past lingers long enough to whisper sweet thoughts of Summer Come to pass with Winter's cold and heavy hand Beaches breeze and Georgia heat will come again in a year But we can never go back to the way we had. But we can never go back.
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