Artsyflex - Bisexual Diaries

honestly it is so fucking tiring, when suicide means to be weak, and well yeah i agree that i am but at the same time i’m too scared and weak to kill myself what a coincidence

I feel like I can't stay strong for much longer and that scares me.

Some REAL Dark Academia things:

Working real hard to actually excel at academics, because you realize that reading The Secret History or The Picture Of Dorian Gray once doesn't make you an academic.

Treating everyone, specially unfortunate people with kindness, because acting like an aloof douche doesn't give you Cool Points.

Holding yourself with dignity, instead of begging other people for scraps of attention and validation. No, really. Stop trying to act like a misunderstood serial killer, Susan, it's embarrassing.

Not falling into the traps of elitist racism, casual misogyny or anti-semitism, because you try to be intelligent and introspective, instead of following in the gross footsteps of some shitty, white eighteenth century writer.

Not having a superiority complex over the fact that you don't listen to pop music, because you are smart enough to respect art of all kinds, or at the very least, respect the fact that people are inherently different.

Okay now the fun stuff:

Short red nails

Reading to expand your mind

Flowy dresses or leather jackets or pajamas, because Dark Academia can be DIVERSE, babeyyyyy

Fluffy fat cats named Oscar

Toasting to Aphrodite and Persephone

Healthy friendships and relationships, because we need to STOP romanticising toxicity.

Handwritten birthday cards with pressed flowers

BLUEBERRIES

Lana Del Rey and One Direction. Hozier and Dua Lipa. The Shins and Nirvana. Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson. Sam Fender and Coldplay. Taylor Swift and The Velvet Underground. Lorde and Florence. 5SOS and The Beatles. Zayn and Rihanna. Seriously, listen to whoever the fuck you want to listen to. Dark Academia is NOT a music genre. Listen to everything. To define is to limit.

Dancing at midnight

Fairy tales and horror stories

Falling in love

Only red lipstick on an otherwise bare face

Celebrating the birthdays and deathdays of your favourite authors and poets

Quoting Oscar Wilde to your houseplant

Ivory coloured notebooks

Watching Kill Your Darlings and Yearning

Watching Gone Girl and Yearning

Rock music in the shower

Constellations tattooed over your body, because you contain the entire universe in you babey

Doctoral programs and scholarships

Talking to stray animals like they're your old friends

Lying in the grass on a sunny day

Learning languages at your own pace, because you got nothing to prove to nobody

Studying to learn

Trying your hardest to live your life for YOU

Being who YOU want to be

Pushing yourself through dark times, because you try so hard to believe in yourself

Healthy sleep schedules, except the occasional all nighter to indulge your inner vampire

Happiness

Melancholy

Hope, and the desire to live forever

My guide on sigils; making, charging, and learning how they work! 

Do not repost, but feel free to reblog! <3

Beginnig of Fall - Academia Aesthetic

hair in a messy bun, smudged eyeliner, dark red fall-y lipstick, wrongly buttoned blouse, comfy jeans, black boots, massive HEADPHONES

brown seemingly bottomless bag, carried over one shoulder, filled with a view notebooks and collegeblocks, a lot of loose pencils and pens

happily chatting with friends on the way to class

morning fogginess and wett grass from the cold nights

sunny days, often cloudy, orange and red and brown leaves crunch while walking over them

Keep reading

Nina Simone performing on a TV show filmed at BBC Television Centre in London, 1966. 

Photos by David Redfern

Tips for when studying is the last thing you want to do!

1. Write out on sticky notes the name of objects in your room, then go ahead and stick them on everything. Next time you turn on your light, make yourself look (or at least glance) at the word. Next time you open your drawer, look at the note. Any time you turn on your lamp, your laptop charger or your speakers, you’ll always have that vocabulary there and you’ll learn each of them in no time.

2. Play the radio/podcasts or a Korean show for background noise. Most of us don’t like to sit and scroll through Facebook in total silence. I recommend 슈퍼맨이 돌아왔다 (which is available on youtube!) as it is centred around children and any vocabulary you pick up will be helpful. Others include:

• 2 Days 1 Night

• Hello Counselor

• 이웃집 찰스

• Hello Baby

3. Write down phrases on flash cards. Break down the words. Some people have more success reading phrases on flash cards rather than just single vocabulary. Stick these in a place you’ll sit at often, or you could also stick them on items they pertain to just like in tip #1.

4. Just once a day, when you’re out and about or even just at home, search the dictionary for a word. Say you’re out eating, and you don’t know the word for “to order”. Whip out that phone, search it up and try to commit it to memory. One word a day is 365 words a year, and odds are you’ll pick up more than that anyway!

5. Google Play has a selection of multi-language books. Buy a Korean and English children’s book and try to read it (if you’re up to it). The English translation will always be there, so it’s less brain power for you to go and search up everything you don’t know! Plus, you might learn some small phrases in the process.

6. Watch Korean YouTubers. YouTube is fun to watch, so why not watch it in Korean? - 영국남자 (Korean Englishman) is an English man who is great at Korean, he always has English and Korean subs on. By the end of a few episodes you’ll know what “ 남자답다” and “살아 있네!” Means! - Pony’s Makeup is a great channel if you love makeup. You’ll pick up makeup related vocab and phrases, as well learn new techniques and styles. - Maangchi is a Korean lady who teaches you how to cook Korean food. It’s mostly in English but she talks about Korean words sometimes. - 꿀키 is another cooking channel, however there’s no talking, only the blissful sounds of soup boiling and onions frying! She puts small instructions on her videos in both English and Korean. Take notes!

7. Download a widget on your phone that gives you a new word every time you swipe to unlock. Simple, easy and there in your pocket.

8. Fill your social media with Korean. Follow Korean study blogs (though don’t rely on them 100% as most are run by non-fluent speakers), follow Korean daily vocab twitters and Facebook pages. Everything you see will be Korean and you’ll start to pick up on words that you see all the time.

9. Don’t feel discouraged if you haven’t studied for a week. Don’t feel like you’re the worst at Korean, or that you’re so far behind everyone else. Everyone learns differently and at different paces. Me, I’m competitive and need to absorb as much as is humanly possible in a short amount of time. Others stick to a schedule. Some learn stuff here and there. There is no right and wrong way to learn. Do you. Remember, just one word a day equals 365 a year. 2 words a day is even more!

Some quick tips on preparation for the next academic year, from a veteran! 

push yourself to do the hard yards. if we always listened to that sneaky part of ourselves, humans never would’ve achieved anything. stay up a little later, wake up a little earlier, turn on that website blocker a little longer and always remember that success is something you need to work for every single day, no matter how you feel or how many people tell you that you can’t do it, even if one of those people is yourself. no one is guaranteed to stay in your life, not even the people you think will be with you forever (especially those people), so how about you set up your life instead of wasting it away focusing on other people. and always remember that setbacks are a given, but you’ve gotta get out of there, for your own sake. 

i will draw flowers on my skin, your touch made me bloom and i didn’t have that for a while. early morning runs are now my favorite moments, just like time that ran so fast, when u were next to me. maybe i need you back, maybe i need to get over us. but honestly it doesn’t matter what i need to do, because all i want is you, but i’m not what will make you happy, and i’m not gonna be selfish on this one. my first love, my first real love, i thought it is going to hurt, but it doesn’t. a lessons is learnt but do i want to keep on moving? do i want to be in this hole, and feel not whole ever again? my letter that you will never receive. my true feeling that you will never acknowledge. i could give you time, all of the time on earth to think, i could wait my whole life, for you to come and kiss me on my death bed telling me that you decided to stay and love me like you should. just for a minute. just for a moment. i desire to be yours so badly, i gave up on meaning at all, i want to scream, but only whisper leaves my mouth, and it says “i still and will always fucking love you”. week, one fucking week to decide my whole destiny, please choose me, please be happy with me, please love me like i do. maybe it is too much to ask, maybe i am so stupid and clueless, but hope you will never leave me, just keep me closer to your body, and let me feel the heat. just one more time, just one more call, and one more hang out. fall in love with me. just once again. i need you. i crave for you. this is pathetic, maybe. but my need of you is just immaculate and i can’t hold it back.

hey lovies!!

even with the current socioeconomic crisis, the prospect of moving from high shool to college or sixth form is still looming over many of us.

so i've compiled a list of things i've learnt and some advice that would've been so handy if someone had told me before hand!

it's divided into three sections for easy reading. if anyone want to add anything, feel free!! i'll update this at the end of second year!!

before college

if you're going to get folders for your subjects, a sturdy totebag (like from lush) is a shout. but a backpack is an even bigger shout.

before sixth form/ college starts, buy a planner or a journal. i have one that i got in october and omg guys. i have used almost every page and i'll probably only have to buy a second one in december. it's sturdy, i can set my own layout and!! it's got about 256 pages!

unless your teacher specifies otherwise, get a day folder!! it'll just be a smaller folder which you can take what you've done from that day or that week and move into your home folders. plus, it's just so much easier and more convenient.

you don't need to complete every single book on the reading list before you go back. try to become familiar with the ones that interest you the most or all of them, whatever floats your boat. just enjoy your summer!

hydroflask. hydroflask. hydroflask. you know, for water, tea ect.

find out what you like for breakfast. if you're like me, you never had breakfast before school at high school. that won't fly now! i love porridge to go so i can sort that out before my morning shower and then by the time i leave the house, it'll be the right temperature for my half an hour walk.

get yourself a little toiletries bag. put in tissues, hand sanitiser, makeup if you wear it, deodorant, body spray/perfume, hand cream, lip balm. you can even go as far as to get portable floss thingies

portable chargers are a life saver!

during college

the first week should be spent getting used to your learning centre. figure out the quickest route to your classes.

take a picture of your timetable and keep it as a lockscreen for like 2 weeks or until you get the hang of it

and most importantly!! learn everything you can about your library's loaning, returning and reserving process. if they also have recourses like flashcards, hefty amounts of paper, now is a good time to learn that for the future

if you have a personal tutor, try and stay on their good side as much as possible! they'll be your hypeman, your point of access and hell they might even become a great source of laughter and relief during the week.

you'll meet people in your classes that you don't vibe with. you'll meet people that you do. maybe, this is your chance to get away from past school friends/ acquaintances. whatever your case, try and stay grounded. don't sacrifice any part of yourself to fit in and definitely do not feel bad if people begin to drift away. everyone has different schedules and are at different stages, it's normal

during the school breaks (easter, christmas ect.) relax! obviously, complete the homework you've been given but take an actual break too!! trust me on this one

the balance of your work life, social life and sleep will be hectic and confusing and at some times, frustrating. you'll be able to do it, i can assure you. just never sacrifice your work life or your sleep for your social life!

relating to the above one, if you do get invited to events or your friends want to do something after college for fun, go have fun! at the end of the day, as long as you're caught up, your free time is yours.

also christmas time? if you want to get presents for your new college friends, by all means go ahead. but i would go by the rule to not get christmas presents during the first year of friendship unless you know 100% what to get them!

decide whether or not you're going to go paperless, have some paper documents for some subjects or just use printed documents and folders by about november time. that way, you know that your organisation system is consistent and you're not stressing out

condense your notes as you go along. the majority/all key words, key diagrams, and key concepts should be condensed or on flashcards by the time summer comes around

this is something i wish i knew beforehand. anki!! is an absolute life saver. if you're like me, you recently found out about the gem that is spaced repetition. anki does the work for you as long as you insert the info and remember to visit it everyday!

if you need support (academic, emotional ect.), it is perfectly fine to admit that and utilise the resources at your centre. hell, i strongly advise that you do so just for peace of mind

for my philosophy class, i'd advise doing this for any essay based subject, the day or two before an in class assessment, do some practise essays or answers with one or two of your classmates. you'll learn from each other and you can even turn it into a little study date as long as you do the work!

jstor, massolit, cambridge companions, emag, subject reviews (law review ect. by hodder education), podcasts, youtube videos and crash course will make your life so much easier!

try to go to some university lectures/taster days (i know it'll be hard but there are also online options)

whiteboards. whiteboards. whiteboards!! that's all i have to say

remember to have fun!! i know people say that these two years will be the best two years of your life but they kinda will be. the freedom is unmatched and the friends you may make will really help in stressful situations

now is the time to learn how to budget effectively. sixth form can cost a pretty penny if you're not diligent

if you have a part time job- ensure that you're being treated fairly. if you're not, leave. the weekend stress on top of your shool work will not be helpful and it won't benefit you in anyway!

after first year

if you haven't condensed all of your notes for the past year, complete it during the summer. you'll be at much more ease than you think

if you're doing any extra work (EPQ, medicine admissions test prep or law admissions test prep, coursework), do it during summer or at least have the bulk of it done. it will save you so much time and stress! the same with UCAS applications

there you go my loves! if you've got any questions, my inbox is always open!