I Float, Empty, A Husk

Spellbound

You smile and I feel myself melt

Are these the cards I was dealt?

For I'd certainly lose in the depth of your eyes

In that honey in your voice as it whisper lies

I should turn my back, I know better than this

But I'm dying to get a taste of your lips

So spin me around, play my strings

Make me dance, make me sing

I'm just another fool to dance right to your web

And I'll stay 'till your interests reach its lowest ebb.

Delusion

My fingers graze your skin

And my heart beats loud and fast

A flinch, and a step back

The scene shatters in a flash

I blink my eyes open

As sunlight filters to my room

And I reached for your side

To be met with empty sheets

It is a beautiful day

But I close my eyes, letting myself drift

To the land of dreams

Back to you again.

Cursed

I'd close my eyes and I'll still see you

Behind my eyelids, in the places only we knew

I want to run to you, but I am frozen

How you could not see that I am broken?

And I know, I know you still love me

But you long to set yourself free

And though I wish to be your answer

You'd always be the fire I doused with water

And our fingers might touch, but our hands will never fit

We're fated to be strangers, walking in different sides of street.

Innocence Lost

My heart clenches as if it can still feel

Can still discern what's right, what's real

But I know better, it was torn

The day it fell for you, I was reborn

I can still feel the phantom beating

I can still hear the echoes of footsteps receding

The day it fell for you, I was reborn

That was the last day in my sleeve, it was worn.

Sisters

I smile as I lift my phone up high

It was one of those nights that don't make me wish to die

There was singing and teary eyes

As the laughter echoes, and we're free of lies

And for the first time since I can remember

I slept with thoughts of getting better

For them with my side

I can do anything, I can try.

What I Hate Most

Often I wonder if I'll ever hear your voice again

'Cause I can no longer remember its sound, its tone

I can only feel the warmth it brings when it rains

The way it made my heart skips, the way it chilled my bones

I wonder if you still laugh the same

If my soul, your singing can still tame

'Cause all I have now is a dusty memory

One that's leaving me, leaving me slowly

So here I am, still hoping against it all

That you'll one day give me call

That once again, I'll feel that honey dripping in my ears

Just so I can be reminded, there's someone real behind these tears.

Words, Words, Words

I write not because it make things better. I write because it's the only thing I know. And I know it's dumb. Words are very unreliable, yet it's the only thing I could hold on to. It's my rope. I know people tend to break them every time, but I don't care. I'll still hold on to it like its my last piece of thread. And maybe that's the reason behind my brokenness. Because I try to latched on the thing that people barely keep. But I can't help it. Words, writing them down, it doesn't always make everything clearer, but for me, it's the only thing that makes sense. The only constant in my life that I could turn to no matter what. And there's no word for everything. There are feelings and experiences that I cannot fathom into phrases or sentences. But somehow, when everything is fading too fast, and I'm alone and lost and confused, these breakable, limited words became enough for me. Not enough to be fine and happy, but enough to survive. And I hope it'll be enough for another day, because I honestly don't know what to do if it isn't.

My pieces are scattered all over the place

Lost my mask, lost my face

Yet my heart remembers how it beats for you

The past, the future we drew

The corners are filled with your ghost

I kept what I only hoped to lost.