deathstar-ve

Latest Posts by deathstar-ve

Hey guys,

I'm leaving Tumblr, at least for a couple of months, in an attempt to r3 c0 ver. I'll probably come back 20Ibs heavier crying about how I regret it, however my mental health is declining very rapidly, and 4n4 isn't making it any better so until I can get myself back in to a safe headspace, I will be leaving.

I love you all so much, and thank you all for giving me such a wonderful community to be apart of. Ilyasm! Y'all are some of the most amazing, sweetest angels I've ever met. You all were here for me when no one else was, and were the only people I could talk to about my w31ght struggles. Thx for everything, and for helping me lose 40Ibs. I hope every single one of you hit your UGW, r3c0v3r, or find whatever will bring you true inner happiness. Thx again sm. 💓💕

Guys, I'm officially taking it seriously now.

LOOKING FOR A F4STING PARTNER (PREFERABLY 72+ HOURS) Pls repost.

Also, every like this gets for the first week, I'll extend my f4st by an hour. Starting with a 24-hour f4st. Please share this around, I want this to be challenging. Thx!! <3 (if I break my f4st, I'm deleting my account for accountability (ToT)👍)

Miso soup and muffins on rainy days>>

Can yall stop being so relatable? How am I supposed to feel qUiRkY and different when we keep going through the same things. (　ＴДＴ)

lately I’ve been binging my fucking crazy because like you ever have those thoughts where your like “it’s okay I love my body it’s okay to eat!!” Then once you finish that last bite ur like fuck why did I eat that this is why ur so big

just me?

Pre/Post B1nge B0dy Check

First Pic: Day before 3 day 19k c4l b1ng3 (ga1n3d 12 lbs, mostly water.)

Last Pic: Today, 12 hours after b1ng3.

Fuck my life. Posting for accountability and to remind my fellow 4n4s that first 'snack/treat' is NEVER worth it. Love yall. 😭🫶

What @bloodycorpz3 said, plus just romantizing your journey as you go through it.

• Take aesthetic photos of your food, workout equipment, even the sunset or skies when you go outside.

• Practice self-care, buy pretty clothes (especially ones slightly too small), drink your fav low cal drinks/teas out of pretty cups, keep your area smelling good. Keep your senses focused on other things than the taste of food.

• Keep your mind busy on cleaning, organizing, tasks, hobbies, etc. I've found whenever im in a depressive dump, actually doing the stuff i didnt want to do gives me more mental and physical energy. The procrastination, dread, and guilt of tasks are always worse than actually doing it.

• Pretend you're in a movie honestly, and your character either has an €D and she does everything right/perfect, or that you already are your b0dy g04ls and live how she would.

As for being sluggish, part of self-care is staying hydrated, taking vitamins/electrolyte supplements. (BTW, make sure your food has a good GL/GI, because 4n0r3x1cs are much more vulnerable to diabetes and sugar crashing.)

If you're still sluggish introduce caffeine if you haven't, but it seems like you've just fallen out of love with 4n4 and need more motivation. Pro 4n4 sites like 📌 and here are good for that. Maybe try a new diet, fasting routine, or something to spice it up again.

I desperately need someone to help me/give me tips on getting back to my honeymoon phase. I want to feel euphoric when 🌟ving again instead of just feeling sluggish and depressed, please and thanks 😭

NO FR cause- most of my recent post are about 🌟ving/f4sting but I'm literally eating cake rn...after i said i was gonna start my f4st. Like, the sc4le is going to tell everything 😭👍

i feel like a fake ana sometimes like i literally binge more than i ⭐️ve. im legit binging as we speak like do better

Also I'm seeing my husband this Sunday, so I have to stop acting like a p1g or im going to be f4tter than the last time he saw me

I mightve eaten 7k c4ls in the past two days....so I'm gonna attempt a f4st. I'm literally watching all my progress slip away from me rn. 🤪👍

I mightve eaten 7k c4ls in the past two days....so I'm gonna attempt a f4st. I'm literally watching all my progress slip away from me rn. 🤪👍

I hate being f4t, but I still keep eating. What is wrong with me? I know if I eat, I won't lose weight but I still do it. Every. Fucking. Time.

AHHHHH

I'm donating plasma rn and the woman who took my vitals kept talking about how tiny my hands are and then they had to use the CHILDREN'S blood pressure cuff. I'm so happy rn.

Any other anas donated plasma??

I need tips cause I always binge before donating with the excuse of "it's just so I don't faint" but that's all it is, an excuse. I get so weak and nauseous any time I go around needles and I have a donation tomorrow. Everything I've said online is drink lots of water, and no caffeine/nicotine beforehand. Does anyone have experience/tips for restr1ct1ng before/during donation?

This (but gender swapped)☝️

I hate seeing how many of us are in similar situations. It actually hurts because everyone here is so sweet and empathetic.

" i st4rv3 to have control " " i st4rv3 to look attractive " i st4rv3 myself to stop having the same body type as my abvs3r .

Sorry if it's a rude question, but I'm just curious if your husband knows that you have Ana?

Don't worry! I don't find it rude at all.

Small vent incoming, but he does know, and ngl, he uses it against me. He calls me crazy and shames me for it now. To add on to my last post about him, he used to compliment me when I first started losing weight, saying i looked better and was very happy that i was doing it, but now that I'm skinnier he says I have no ass and I'm just bones. He's told me he isn't attracted to me and that he doesn't find me sexy anymore. I'm kinda happy in a way cause I've come to realize he never cared about me. Just my body, and now I can lose more weight and become completely repulsive in his eyes and that makes me feel safe in a way.

I think I'm going to 🌟ve myself until the next time i see my husband. I want him to audibly gasp when he sees how small I've gotten. Posting so my fat4ss will hold myself accountable. 124 lbs currently. Let's see how mentally ill I really am. 🤪👍

going for 6+ hr walks and chain smoking the whole time is my new personality

Tips to distract yourself while fasting

🎀 Selfcare (body)

• Shower

• Body lotion

• Trimming your nails

• Doing a face mask

• Hair care

• Vitamins

• Plucking your eyebrows

• Painting your nails

• Shaving

• Exfoliate your body

• Do your lashes with clusters (they’re on amazon)

• Doing your skincare

🦢 Routine

• Make your bed

• Brush your teeth

• Floss!!

• Drink a lot of water

• Stretching

🎀 To do (important)

• Clean the home

• Do your dishes

• Do the laundry

• Read your emails

• Clean your phones (photos, etc…)

• Take out the trashes

• Wash your bed sheets

🦢 Activities

• Color/draw

• Shopping online

• Journaling

• Take a walk (bonus if u have a dog hehe)

• Organize ALL your house

• Make new playlist about your aesthetic

• Make new Pinterest board

• Organize your Pinterest

• Watch a movie

• Watch a new series

• Try new makeup styles

• Pilates workout

• Yoga workout

• Take a good nap

• Play your favourite video game

• Call your friends and go out with them!!

• Listen to a podcast

THIS. Currently getting a divorce from a man like this...we've been married for 6 months and I gave him my virginity. Once you lose weight they show their true colors.

"boys don't want a girl who's just skin and bones!"

i'm not looking for a boy who's going to sexualise my curves, i want someone who i can feel smaller and safer around

not someone who'll tell me "it jiggles when u walk!"

in my personal experience, boys who actively look for girls with curves, aren't looking for girls. they're looking for a good time

IM SO FUCKING DUMB

WHy did I tell my psychiatrist I struggled with an €D...now she prescribed me meds that stop me from b1ng1ng and also make me gain weight. I literally asked her for any meds that DONT cause appetite/weight increase. I always snitch on myself. When will i learn? 😭

WIEIAD (Under 900)

Breakfast:

Fiber one - 90

Almond milk - 35

Blueberries - 70

Cinnamon- 0

Lunch:

Sushi - 120

Rice - 170

Kimchi - 35

Soy sauce - 5

Egg whites - 61

Dinner:

Miso soup - 35

Seaweed - 20

Ramune - 70

Snacks/Misc:

Watermelon - 91

Taste testing food - 81

Total: 881

So I decided to stop using hashtags on here because that’s how people get reported I’m pretty sure. Sooo I decided to do this instead!

If you are a weight loss blog, like this post. Using safe words to avoid getting reported. If u wanna repost u can to make it reach more ppl (since I can’t use tags)

If you are looking for mutuals, scroll through the likes and follow ppl :)

This is also for me so I can see who to follow haha but I thought it’d help yall out too! It’s nice having an understanding community and we should all have access to one.

controversial opinion: regular people should not force people with €ds to eat.

regular person = not a doctor

“that’s just your disordered brain talking” hear me out. what does it help? genuinely, what does forcing someone who has an extreme fear of food to eat help with? I’m primarily talking about 4n0rexia in this context but this applies to every €D.

“it’ll keep them alive a little while longer” no, it won’t. one meal will not reverse the long history of damage done to their body. best case scenario: they will never want to be around you again, they’ll go back to isolating themselves which will be detrimental to their mental health because the idea that ‘people = want me to get fat not better’ has been re-affirmed by you and they will not ask for help in the future. worst case scenario: they do the above AND you have guaranteed the fact that the minute they are back home they will try to get rid of it through exercise, l*xatives, p*rging, or long fasts which they likely would not have felt the need to compensate with if they hadn’t been forced to eat.

I know that for myself, and for other people with multiple types of €ds, that being around people when food isn’t involved or at least not the primary focus, while yes it does aid in our disorder because we aren’t eating, it also gives us the ability to engage in positive activities outside of our disorder. If someone is able to take steps to heal their mental health and create friend groups who don’t judge them but supports them, they’re more likely to recover, or at least form some better habits. Our disorders are exhausting. We need times that our disorder isn’t ruling over too.

“part of getting better is doing things that’s hard, that includes eating.” yes, this is true, but you are not a doctor. If a person is in a state where force feeding is required to keep them alive they need more than one meal forced down them. they need mental health support, support in general, and a doctor to oversee all of it. this strongly applies to ARFID and ORTHO as well but forcing sometime to eat their fear foods/foods they struggle with is NOT helpful.

Forced recovery, even in an institutional setting, with our without mental health support in addition to re-feeding, has been shown to be significantly ineffective compared to willing admittance.

This is not a fucking factory where you can pump a person full of food for a few weeks until they weight x-amount, give them no more help than a doctor who can’t be bothered to see their patients more than once a week in their own hospital and even then the time spent with someone and the questions asked are unhelpful for everyone, then drop them back off at home and expect them not to relapse even harder.

Some people do need outside help. Not everyone can/wants to/has the ability to recover by themselves, some will need a push from outside and in the moment it may feel like a loss of autonomy but it’s what they need. The grey line between thinking just eating and doing breathing exercises will fix them vs. structured support and patience in all aspects of a person’s life isn’t that grey.

All this being said, some people will not recover. No matter what you do, no matter how much you care, no matter how much help you give, not everyone gets better. Ultimately, recovery comes from within and it is only up to the individual if they want to recover. If someone has shown they have no intention of recovery and an understanding of the consequences, it should not be forced upon them. Bodily autonomy applies to more than just reproductive health.

I miss when my wrists were tiny

WIEIAD (Under 700 c4ls)

Breakfast:

Smoothie

Kale - 28

4 oz orange juice - 55

Vinegar - 0

Collagen Powder - 45

Dinner

Fried zucchini - 66

Parmasean cheese - 43

Coconut Chicken Curry - 235

Rice - 116

Snacks:

(x4) Hubba Bubba - 100 cals

Total: 679

@r1pouttmygvtz

Waiting for everyone else to go to sleep so you can chew and sp!t>>>>>

I don't even want to have my weight in my bio..like it's actually embarrassing to be this heavy.

24hr f4st for the first time in months and my cravings are going crazy yall (pray for me)

Just got my collarb0n3s visible again. ✊🏻😭

Literally all I'm wearing for now on, are tops that show them off. I can't wait to get rid of my h1deous th1ghs next.

New fav high protein safe combo!! (136 cals, 18.8g protein)

136 cals, 18.8g protein

Greek yogurt (nonfat, no sugar added) - 170g

Primer Protein Strawberry Almond protein cereal - 6g

Honey - 7g

Tastes literally so good. It's the perfect amount of sweetness and the honey balances out the Greek yogurt. Mostly carbs and protein. I love eating this pre workout cause it's so filling and gives me lots of energy. ✨