Latest Posts by eeeeeeismeee - Page 5

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Stracciatella protein pudding and blueberries my beloved yess

My parents bought me so many protein bars and I didn't even ask them to djsncjdksksnwbsbdfb

Gosh I am so happy

I'm in a love-hate relationship with my scars

Maybe locking in starts with simply logging my calories on my app, instead of trying to pretend it didn't happen or "it wasn't that bad".

Yes, I binged, yes, I feel like a piece of shit but I can always draw the line.

I may gain weight today, but I can stay determined during the week and make a realistic plan for the weekend and actually stick to it.

I shouldn't deny my mistakes or wallow in self pity, but rather use them as a reminder what I am actually fighting for and what kind of behaviours even made me (partly) start doing this in the first place, and I can learn from my mistakes. Honestly I'm motivated to take on this week, even if I completely fucked up this weekend, or maybe especially because of that.

In a way, I'm really scared losing weight will make me look more feminine (because I always used to have broad shoulders and I have now clue what my face will look like once all the fat is finally off)

So I'm hoping that I can lose as much weight as possible on my hips, thighs and lower belly, because once I'll be able to just wear any pants without them looking ridiculous because they're either way too large or make me look curvy and more like a woman, I'll look more like a guy/androgynous, right? Right???

That's so hypothetically speaking I need to lock the fuck in first

But I'm so excited for when I'll finally have a flat chest

I got a new book to reeeaaad

I don't read a lot (I used to inhale books as a kid and I have my fanfiction phases, but I just don't have tiiiimeee and when school is stressful the last thing I want to do is read even more 🥲)

But I'm supper excited for this one

At this point, I'm not even trying to quit cutting properly

I only quit because of the swimming classes at school I have to take, but I don't fucking care anymore, as long as I don't do it a couple of days ahead it's fine

I never wanted to stop for myself and I guess I won't then, just maybe lower, well, the amount a little

I binged the second day in a row and I feel fucking awful

I really hate myself and I can never fucking let this happen again

Like yeah, eating more in the weekends is one thing, it's not ideal, but Ig eating maintenance for a day or two is fine

BUT NOT FUCKING STUFFING MYSELF UNTIL MY STOMACH HURTS

I hate, hate, hate myself

They shouldn't have me shopping for clothes if they don't want me to make pretty little red engravings on my legs after

I'm going to get my height measured tomorrow

I always use a number I think is lower than I actually am when calculating my BMI and such, but at this point, I don't know my real height, but I'm pretty sure it's higher than I think it is at the moment, anyway. Because my shorter friends say they're as tall as me in numbers, but, well, I am definitely physically taller, so.... yeah, Ig I hope for the best lol

I just fucking binged and I hate myself

I stopped counting at some point but I must have definitely gone over 2000 calories and honestly, my day is ruined

I got a day off school today and it started off fine, I made plans and all and wouldn't have gone over my limit had I just stuck to them

But I had a weigh in and lost over 2 kg, and at some point I lost motivation to study and started eating and procrastinating...

Does that happen to anyone else?

I feel like such a fat stupid loser

How tf can I avoid binging on the weekends guys?? Pls send tips

Fuck it, Dad actually bought me the weed protein bar let's fucking go

Was looking for protein bars today and there was one with weed

Also a guy had a monster energy t shirt and I fucking need that

Was looking for protein bars today and there was one with weed

Also a guy had a monster energy t shirt and I fucking need that

when it was just supposed to a quick fix but now i’m pacing the halls every time i brush my teeth , throwing food away again , always waiting for time to pass , gorging myself on yoghurt bowls & protein bars , & fear the scale

its like i starved for control but then remembered that my body exists and i starved for weight loss but then i saw other anas counting calories and eating lower than 1000 calories so i started to count calories but like i felt guilty after anything even if it was low cal so then i remembered originally that i starved for control so now i starve for both control and weightloss

Why eat food, anyway, when I can have Monster?

Powerwalking around the schoolyard because my friends want to play Volleyball

(I look like a fucking weird loner but at least I'm getting in my steps)

“You finished all of it?”

It was the only thing I ate today

I wish I didn’t eat it at all

parents tryna get me to wear a dress like noooo don't they fucking get the hints?

If your 13 or older and still sleep with a stuffed animal please rb this im tryna prove a point to my friend.

I look a little different each day and at this pointy I have no clue what I really look like

Crazy how fast you can get on the weird side of Pinterest

Family is going out to eat with me shit-

my aunt and godmother just died

sisyphus is just how having ana-bp feels lol

think coming out as gay is hard? try telling people you don’t want to eat. So much for the tolerant left 🙄

What kind of rewards do y'all get yourselves when you hit a gw?

And do you have suggestions for small things I could get, not always clothes, which are not too pricey?

I just want to sit next to the field leaning on her on a cool summer evening with a slight breeze allowing for light jackets and the music, chatter and light of the party we escaped from somewhere in the distance.

I want to hold her hand and taste the evening air and finally LIVE

Imagining, craving all that is so painful knowing I'm fat, thinking that all of the romance will be taken from that moment when all I can feel is myself jiggling as a fat blob next to her

I don't want feeling fat to overshadow what could be so many beautiful moments, because my body has taken so many of these from me

I just want to feel comfortable taking off my jacket to drape it around her shoulders instead of using it to cover my thighs and belly

That's the true reason I've got to be skinny until summer, heck, now, as soon as possible.