Latest Posts by eeeeeeismeee - Page 6
Saturdays are always bad for me food wise
Not only do I have to eat at least two of the meals my family cook, but then I'm also at home most of the time and around food, and that becomes especially difficult when I have work to do I don't particularly enjoy.
I feel so fucking pathetic for this though but I'll have to find something that works for me, somehow.
I have to calculate the perfect time to cut because of stupid swimming classes at school, so they're healed as much as possible when the next lesson takes place
It's fucking stupid honestly
Can't decide if I actually wanna weigh myself again or not
Cuz I really don't want to get disappointed
I'm fucking stressed man, time to procrastinate harder
Are you ever so hyperaware of your body whilst in public and you’re trying not to burst into tears…. Hahah yeah me either
Bread. Bread is my worst enemy. I am more than convinced of its evil intentions towards me, but I will thwart this dastardly beast as well.
Okay so. I've seen my fair share of transphobia on edblr [for crying out loud you're on THE lgbt app] and I'm just going to say that transgender people have the HIGHEST RATE OF EATING DISORDERS.
[do not reblog with tags]
Statistically 71% of transgender individuals currently or have previously at some point in their lives struggled with an eating disorder.
But why do so many trans people develop eating disorders you may ask? The biggest factor is: Discrimination. All around, discrimination leads to the development of severe disorders. The other major reason is gender dysphoria, with GD comes the feeling that you lack control over your body which is generally a huge contributor to eating disorders but most trans people tend to live in unaccepting or downright hateful environments basically leading to lack of control x2.
Trans people will also develop eating disorders to change their bodies in very drastic ways, especially when there is no access to gender affirming care like for trans men, top surgery and for trans women, to give a more sleek feminine look to the body.
I specifically see a lot of cisgender men in ed spaces complaining about the prevalence of trans men in the "male ed" tags but I'm going to pull another stat on you- 42% of cisgender men who struggle with eating disorders are also part of the lgbt community, so if you're part of that 42% and are still being transphobic, you should look into lgbt history in general and thank the group that gave you your rights. If you're a cis straight male complaining about trans people struggling with eating disorders, just remember that plenty of people will never even entertain the thought that you have a "woman disorder".
So if you're out here bitching about "why are there trans men in the checks tags" and plenty more hateful shit that I do not feel comfortable quoting- just think about this, statistically there is just going to be an "overwhelming" amount of trans people in all online ed communities. If you aren't comfortable with that then it's probably time you recover babe <3
I just had the most intense ed nightmare.
I was in the living room just practicing some sort of gymnastic exercise - idk why I don't do gymnastics - and my parents had friends over and they just kept talking about how much weight they were losing and how much better they felt now that they're skinny. I got angrier and sadder and at some point I kinda snapped and yelled, "You guys know I'm still here as well?" and they kind of laughed and my Mom just have me really pitiful look and then told the entire group that she hoped that I would have at least one summer during which I'll feel skinny and confident. Like. What. And then she called me fat and insecure and I just scrambled to the bathroom crying trying to find my blades.
It took me a hot minute after waking up to realize that didn't actually happen.
Wtf honestly
ana culture is washing the measuring cups but leaving your dirty dishes in the sink
hi.. uwu *⭐ves myself*
What the scale sees before I step on it:
parents brought home huge apples today
And they're really fucking red and have I mentioned just how large they are?
Goodness
The other day I got a really hard ball at soccer practice kicked on my arm, not a big deal usually but it hit exactly my fresh cuts and man that shit hurt
Everything I got from the store today! I ended up not getting too much because I reconsidered my budget, but here it is! They didn't have my usual protein bar flavours so I decided to try these new ones, and I haven't tried on of these monsters as well. I just like to amass safe foods and look at them it makes me happy honestly lol
I'm going to the store after school today yay :D
I think I'm just going to buy some protein bars and sf energy drinks and gum... I may buy some corn/rice cakes as well and look for new safe foods in general, if I have time... Man, I haven't been shopping like this in a while and I'm more excited than grocery shopping probblably justifies to be lol
Any suggestions on what else I could look for?
Sometimes I like to imagine what it'll be when I live alone
I can see a fucking bright future of cutting whenever and wherever, starving for days and not even getting the binge food in the house in the first place and weighing myself won't be the most stressful encounter to have to be done in secret
Yeah and other than that I wanna go to uni and stuff
Sounds fucking fun
I relapsed into sh again, after having been clean for about 15 days
Usually I manage to go about a month clean before urges get too bad
And I did my arm for the first time (I usually only do my legs)
So yeah
I only quit because I have to take swimming classes at school and they're the absolute worst
Sooo I did successfully get around eating my Dad's birthday cake, because my entire family kind if overslept and I said I'd take a piece to school with me since I'm in such a rush
Yeah, I'm obviously not gonna eat it, but I'm so happy I got around it 😅
“do you struggle with an 3d?” Clearly. I keep binging.
I just baked a cake for my Dad's birthday tomorrow
I haven't baked anything in a very long time and I was just remembering how I used to love eating the batter
Not anymore though
I really hope I will get around actually having to eat it, I think I'll just say I'll take a piece to school with me maybe
I haven't weighed myself in at least a week now I think, which is crazy considering I usually get super obsessed with it and sometimes do it multiple times a day, but for one I'm too scared what the scale may say and then if I actually want to see my progress I need to look for actual physical changes and don't rely on the number of the scale?
I guess I'll try it out for a bit, except for yesterday I was in a deficit ever day that week and I'll just try not to weigh myself for a while and hopefully get a pleasant surprise when I do
why scar cream gotta be so expensive :(
I feel dirty and I don't feel real
Like it seriously feels like being fat is blocking me from actually living and being someone
I know that sounds silly but I can't take myself serious like this
And I don't know who I am if I'm not skinny
How does one let cherry tomatoes become a binge food
Why
When
What
How
I don't understand
I had my first strawberries these time of year. They were fucking huge and juicy and so, so red and they reminded me of that huge ass banana I had the other day.
Fruit are so fucking good they're like my candy
(I don't even like that packaged junk anymore, but now when I crave it's oats and yoghurt and honey and - thankfully - fruit, which is still super easy to binge on, even if it's healthier)