emptydoorsandpaintedwindows

Latest Posts by emptydoorsandpaintedwindows

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

executive dysfunction is legitimately physically uncomfortable. i’ll be trapped between two things, weirdly caught on how-much-time-it-might-take-me. i take hours worried im going to take hours doing things. i’ll sit on the floor for the entire day, caught up in the middle of not-doing the chores i actually do want to be doing.

& the amount of mental energy that goes into it. & the legitimate amount of anger and discomfort and self-hate. is not “being lazy”.  it’d be a lot less work if i didn’t have to fight myself to just get up and do it. 

i just need you to understand it’s not effortless. it’s never effortless. it’s not “okay let me just get up and finally start doing this.” it’s more like. i am slamming my foot on the pedal but the car is in neutral and nothing is moving. it’s more like shouting instructions into a dying telephone. it’s more like being trapped in a small electric box, and someone who hates me is administering shocks. 

im trying. im trying. please help me get up.

Just imagine :

What are you to me?

Nothing

And what am I to you?

Everything

book quotes that i will never recover from

"he is half of my soul, as the poets say. " - song of achilles

"write me a letter telling me how to live the rest of my life without you." - how to make friends with the dark

"they were my birthday presents." - shatter me

"she had realized that she had forgotten the precise blue of his eyes and the depth of his laugh." - clockwork princess

"my name is sam cortland... and i will not be afraid." - assassin's blade

"you chose me four years ago. would you choose me still?" - these violent delights

"we were all supposed to make it." - crooked kingdom

"i remember everything." - the invisible life of addie larue

"come home and shout at me. come home and fight with me. come home and break my heart, if you must. just come home." - cruel prince

"i wasted all those yesterdays and am completely out of tomorrows." - they both die at the end

"you hated the idea of me." - the final gambit

"bob says hello." - house of hades

"abuse can feel like love. starving people will eat anything." - nightfall

"i missed you only with an ocean between us. but if death was separating us... i would find you." - queen of shadows

"i loved him. i love him. as best i could." - we were liars

"i'm the villain, even in my own story. but you were supposed to play a different role." - finale

"i will find you again in the next world—the next life. and we will have that time. i promise." - a court of wings and ruin

"i spent half of my time loving her and the other half hiding how much i loved her." - the seven husbands of evelyn hugo

“There’s no Hogwarts without you, Hagrid.”

R.I.P. Robbie Coltrane (March 30, 1950 - October 14, 2022)

Love Lies

Love latches onto my heart like a leech

Wriggling into every hidden space

Do not take all of me, I beseech

This parasite within, tightens its embrace

Love takes my words and twists them

Spewing lines that make no sense

My own mouth I do condemn

I stumble to describe feelings so immense

Love grows up my spine like a rose bush

Beauty hiding the thorns

Against my lungs exquisite flowers push

But when the plant dies, it’s the thorns my love mourns

I ask love not to take too much of me when it dies

Love said it would take nothing from me,

love lies

~ A.L. Heart

“What he knew, he knew from books, and books lied, they made things prettier.”

― Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

🌿🌄 — [all pictures from pinterest]

genuinely so fucking tired of people leveraging the "groomer" argument against people who support sex ed because scientific literature over decades shows that comprehensive sex education starting around kindergarten actually prevents children from being sexually abused and groomed because it teaches children the correct words for their body parts and also teaches them concepts of privacy, personal space, bodily autonomy, the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, and the fact that sex is something that only adults do. children with this knowledge are not only better equipped to identify abuse and predatory behavior and communicate that its happening to a trusted adult, but also prevent it from happening in the first place by recognizing when something is happening that shouldn't.

sex education does not sexualize children, it prevents children from being sexualized. anyone who is against early foundational sex education and claims they are doing it to protect children is a fucking liar.

Sam: It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened. But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam? Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.

The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers. JRR Tolkien.

“Stories have power. Gleemen’s tales, and bards’ epics, and rumors in the street alike. They stir passions, and change the way men see the world.”

~ Robert Jordan, Winter’s Heart

I feel left out of the Spotify wrapped posts on Instagram

Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t use Spotify?

Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t use Spotify?

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”

~ Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

“In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves.”

~ Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls

“Some truths do nothing but destroy and decay what they do not obliterate. Truths do not always set one free. Only a fool who has spent their entire life being fed lies believes that.”

~ Jennifer L. Armentrout, From Blood and Ash

🌌 25 celestial asks

solar system: what is the driving force behind your good deeds?

earth: rivers or seas?

moon: do you play any instruments?

jupiter: how tall are you?

sun: if you could live in any past decade, when would it be?

mars: do you believe in life on other planets?

saturn: favourite song?

venus: are you religious?

milky way: what’s your favourite chocolate bar?

neptune: what’s your favourite music genre?

uranus: sexuality?

mercury: what’s your favourite school subject?

pluto: is pluto a real planet or fake?

andromeda galaxy: what’s the farthest you’ve travelled?

ceres: how old are you?

crab nebula: favourite colour?

asteroid belt: favourite accessory?

pleiades: star sign?

orion nebula: sweet or salty?

sirius: favourite fictional character?

eris: what’s your dream job?

halley’s comet: what’s your opinion on fate?

callisto: do you like ice cream?

dysnomia: favourite sound?

deimos: if you could go to space, would you?

“Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia... You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”

~ John Green, Looking for Alaska

We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace. In the norms and notions of what just is isn’t always justice. And yet, the dawn is ours before we knew it. Somehow we do it. Somehow we’ve weathered and witnessed a nation that isn’t broken, but simply unfinished.

~ The Hill We Climb, Amanda Gorman

“Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.”

~ Bryan Stevenson, Just Mercy

“When you're young, you think the world will make room for who you are and what you want.... And then you find the world of adults is even more limiting than the world of children. With no room for adventure, much less yer own thoughts.”

~ Liz braswell, Straight on Till Morning