"Maybe We'll Be Different, Dean." "What Kind Of Kool-Aid You Drinking, Man?"

ccaanniidd. gouache watercolor, 2019

CW: reference to rape, ptsd responses, an ableist slur

I’m a broken record but post-cage Sam actually having ptsd and acting like someone with ptsd is SO important to me.

Sam sitting in a diner and being unable to answer when the waitress asks what he wants so Dean just says “he’s shy sorry, he wants pancakes” and then dean cuts up the pancakes for sam and feeds it to him cuz he can’t do it himself.

Sam in the grocery store with dean trying to be helpful and get the pasta but he’s skittish and flinches whenever anybody is near and he keeps fidgeting so he seems a bit off but Dean is just proud of him cuz before he wouldn’t leave dean’s side for a second so it’s progress. Then they go to checkout and Sam’s still fidgeting and won’t look the cashier in the eye and the cashier smiles at dean and says “I’ve got a nephew like that too” and dean internally like “what??” And he doesn’t fully get it until later

They’re on a park bench and Sam is clearly a bit off but he hasn’t had a fit or breakdown today yet so Dean thinks it a pretty good day until some kid’s ball comes flying over to them and at first deans worried the fast movement will freak him out but instead he picks up the ball and the kid come over and he tries to hand the ball back but he has a tremor and drops it and apologizes but he has a hard time speaking now so it’s a bit broken up and gargled but Dean thinks it’s an improvement compared to when sam could only speak in screams and Enochian. He tries to pick the ball up again but the kid gets it before him and gives him a weird look and dean can faintly hear him whisper under his breath “retard” and just hopes Sam didn’t hear it.

Sam has serious brain fog sometimes and wanderers away from dean and then forgets where he is and thinks he’s back in the cage and freaks out. Dean finds him just in time before a shop clerk calls the police cuz the clerk tried to touch him and Sam knocked him in the jaw.

Sam has a hard time reading cuz he can’t focus and English is hard to read now because the words all swim and blur together and he’s upset about it so Dean starts reading books outloud to him.

Sam drops a glass and he freaks out and starts to cower and bends over to try and pick up the shards with his bare hands and he nicks his palms but he just dosent want Dean to be mad he can’t he can’t he can’t and Dean just softly grabs Sam’s hands to stop him and tells him he’s okay and that deans not mad

Sam sitting in a diner drinking coffee like he used to and deans happy abt it cuz he’s acting like he used to but then he spills the hot coffee on him and suddenly all he can feel is fire fire fire burning him alive and Lucifer laughing and Lucifer’s hot burning cock sinking into him and searing him from the inside— and then he comes back to himself later in a motel with dean sitting next to him. His shirt has been stripped off and dean’s already treated the burn wounds.

Sam loses himself in his mind somedays. It’s like he blinks and suddenly it’s three days later and Sam’s so scared cuz SO much time has already been taken from him. And deans so scared cuz Sam will seemingly shrink into himself for days as if he’s on autopilot.

That s6 episode is also the one where dooku punts obi wan into orbit is it not? top ten Star Wars moment tbh just bc of how fast he forcibly exits stage left

YES, ANON, IT IS

It’s also the fight where Dooku literally rolls Obi-wan like a bowling ball:

But then I was looking at it again (for like, the thousandth time), and I realized just how good Dooku is in this duel. (And how almost good Obi-wan is.)

(And small disclaimer here, I have no knowledge of “real” sword-fighting aside from what I’ve absorbed through general cultural osmosis and a curious google instinct, this is just an interpretation from my over-excited brain.)

Anakin, for the most part, sticks with Djem So as his primary fighting style, incorporating elements of Ataru in his more acrobatic moments. This holds true throughout the entirety of TCW and is the form by which he eventually overwhelms Dooku in RotS. 

Dooku, however, gives a minor masterclass in sword(saber) fighting in this sequence, not only using his preferred Makashi (although I have to say, the man can take on Obi-wan and Anakin at once with one hand behind his back and my gods, is that not evidence of skill), but also demonstrating his ability at

Djem So:

Soresu (at least a bastardized form, but I can’t be the only person who recognized that stance Dooku uses):

and Ataru (I mean, Dooku did train Qui-gon):

But what I really love is the fact that Obi-wan tries to adapt to this, matching Dooku’s *Makashi:

and Ataru (in this case, exactly copying his movements):

Which...I mean, Obi-wan is essentially being a mini-Dooku here, although he isn’t quite at Dooku’s level for a variety of reasons I have discussed previously in terms of Obi-wan never being on his game around Dooku and actually consistently underperforming when he’s in the presence of his Grandmaster.

But you have to hand it to Dooku for not only winning a(nother) duel against two of the best Jedi in the Order, but doing it with style.

I love this evil, old man. 

he's doing so fine, actually, why do you ask

one man's hyperfixation is another man's blocked tag

Don’t think about malnourished baby Sammy. Don’t think about little four year old Dean begging his Dad to buy formula instead of ammunition, of four year old Dean burning himself trying to warm up Sammy’s milk. Don’t think about Dean waking up every couple hours after crawling into Sammy’s crib to make sure he was still breathing. Don’t think of little four year old Dean who used to beg to feed his little brother his bottle, now not having another option. Don’t think about baby Sammy getting sick and Dean begging John to make him a doctors appointment to make sure he’s okay. Don’t think of baby Sammy learning to walk with his older brother holding his hands, of baby Sammy crying when he sees John because he doesn’t recognize his own dad. Don’t think of baby Sammy calling Dean dad, or the fact that Sam’s first steps were towards Dean. Don’t think about the fact that the doctors were worried about Sam’s weight at that doctors appointment, and ever since, Dean has made sure that Sammy always had enough to eat, even at the cost to his own health.

Don’t think about twelve year old Dean collapsing on the first night of a hunt because he hadn’t eaten in four or five days, because Sammy needed the food. Don’t think about John yelling at Dean asking what the hell is wrong with him etc. and Dean just shrugs it off. Because he’s fine. And he ignores it. He shoves the aching for food way down and ignores it. So, when they go back into town because they hit a dead end, and get food at a diner, Dean gorges on the food, and eats half of John’s too. Don’t think about John seeing this, having a flash of worry but ignoring it because “it’s Dean he’s always fine.” Don’t think about Dean worrying the first time Sammy called him Dad because “no, no, no, Sammy, I’m your big brother Dean.” Because he’s worried that his Dad is going to freak out if he hears Sammy calling Dean dad.

Don’t think about the fact that Sam probably didn’t learn the word Mom until he was at school because it wasn’t something his dad and Dean said. Don’t think about Sam driving alone for the first time and hitting a dear and calling Dean because he didn’t trust that his dad would answer. Don’t think about Dean, sitting in some motel at 23 years old after a fight with his dad who stormed off debating calling Sam because he’s the only one who would get it.

Don’t think about the Winchester brothers as little kids left alone in motel rooms for too long, underfed, and unsure of when their Dad was going to be back.

“Mother Void” 2024, Emil Melmoth

They descend

normal AU except its just a series of reddit posts that all of sam and dean’s creeped out SOs inevitably end up writing once they realize that their boyfriend wants to die in his brother’s arms Notebook-style

An angel, ca 1555 AD.

Bukhara, Uzbekistan

British Museum