Ephostame - Phos

normal AU except its just a series of reddit posts that all of sam and dean’s creeped out SOs inevitably end up writing once they realize that their boyfriend wants to die in his brother’s arms Notebook-style

i am soooo fascinated by all of your suitehearts ideas hows it going?

ITS GOING GREAT!!!! taking this as my excuse to start yelling abt their backstories bc i was abt to start making the post anyways and this ask came at the PERFECT time gdhgdhd

so the entertainment industry is CRUCIAL to my version of bli to the point where the original company which would become bli began as an animation studio in the 30s/40s (the original studio producing mousekat cartoons which is a whole other post im not gonna get into rn). whats important here is that nostalgia is key to a lot of bli's early success as they bought the rights to many different properties specifically in childrens entertainment in order to sell the idea that their products and their company is Good and Moral and shit. like getting mickey mouse to endorse your product and shit

anyways one of these old shows they acquire the rights to is a shortlived but incredibly popular late 70s/early 80s childrens show: The Adventures of America's Suitehearts. its got loud vibrant colors and costumes and garish sets and im thinking it takes place in like. a magical hotel with like infinite floors to explore filled with magic rooms for any and everything (kinda like the Imagination Movers iirc). the Suitehearts are permanent residents and episodes would revolve around them helping out and going on adventures with the hotels guests, allowing new kids and characters to show up every episode. the whole show would be focused on having fun and using your imagination to its fullest, meant to bring some light into the world for kids dealing with the effects of the wars and shit but it gets cancelled after two seasons bc. yknow. the wars and shit

ANYWAYS bli picks up the idea and reboots the series once the City is built and theyve fully come to power. they use it as a sort of safety net, a way of easing the kids who originally grew up with and are now adults into accepting bli's ideas and control. its a HUGE propaganda tool and it works really fucking well, becoming a staple show in the city. i havent figure out full timeline shit bc i cant find the doc rn but im thinking probably theyd cycle through actors for the suitehearts over the years with the most recent versions being the ones that led to the shoes cancellation & the ones who become rebels. the cast goes as follows (and city names are subject to change bc these are just placeholders i came up with on the spot):

Dr. Benzadrine (portrayed by Mark Desrosiers)

- originally the Dr. Benzadrine character was this kooky mad scientist type with a sort of bill nye meets mrs frizzle energy. he was always encouraging kids to explore and ask questions abt the world around them, showing the audience how to do simple experiments, and explaining scientific concepts and how things work/are made. obviously this is exactly the type of behavior that bli wants to AVOID teaching kids, so in the reboot he becomes this sort of strict, analytical figure who discourages "unscientific" and "unproductive" things such as emotions, and constantly promotes bli's pills and medications as the solutions to problems! any "science" he explains revolves around how the pills "work" to make you Happier and Better

-Mark originally planned to be a chemist. he wanted to help people and figured developing nee medications would be the best way of doing that!! dudes like a GENIUS too, and bli sees this and singles him out and puts him on the fast track for his goals bc obviously they want that brain making their pills. except, the higher up he goes, the more HORRIBLE OBVIOUSLY CORRUPT he realizes the company is so he drops out and through a series of shady events i havent figured out the specifics of yet becomes the new Dr. Benzadrine!!!

Mr. Sandman (played by Dominic no last name yet bc nothing i can think of sounds good!)

- in the original version of the show, Sandman was one of those characters thats looked back on as kinda creepy looking in hindsight and is joked abt constantly for his more spooky appearance. personality wise though, his whole thing was encouraging kids to get creative by using his dream powers to visualize wacky scenarios and solutions to problems. hed also always lead into the a song fitting the theme of the episode by "singing a lullabye" often by the request of one of the other characters. in bli's version, though, they take his creepier appearance and RUN with it, turning him into essentially the series' antagonist. they turn him from the maker of dreams into the maker of nightmares and hes meant to show kids "the dangerous of creativity", always defeated in the end by the others following rules and conforming to authority and shit yk? just the most heavyhanded propaganda you can imagine

- Dominic i think joins the show because he wants to get rich and famous, break out of the slums of the City and really prove that hes worth something. he doesnt even mind playing the villain because, hey, the villains always the most popular character right? except wow jesus christ, being an actually cared about, actually watched member of the city is kind if a lot and suddenly all these freedoms he used to have are being taken away and he didnt realize itd be like this he needs to find a way out oh god-

H. Shoe Crab (played by Sarah Langley)

- so in the original show, Crab was that type of moral compass character always dishing out the episode's lesson. he had exceptionally good luck, which is implied to be due to a sort of karma- he does and acts good so the universe rewards him and shit yk? thats not to say hes perfect and there are episodes dedicating to showing him struggling with his own issues and he often makes mistakes. but at the end of the day hes there to teach kids the value of kindness, emotional awareness, and basic morals. also theres a tunning joke where his good luck will kinda backfire on/cause problems for Sandman like with Goodluck and Grumpy in Care Bears. played by a girl in the reboot, Crab's character essentially becomes Product Placement and Gender Roles!! all her good luck becomes the result of using bli's products, all her "moral lessons" become about respecting authority and reporting suspicious behavior and shit, and she basically gets Mom Friend-ified by the company to top it all off.

- Sarah i think is the most deep into her role bc she is heavily monitored on set and on far more medications than the rest of the cast. this is because she was actually born in the desert, kidnapped as a teenager, and brought into the City to be "rehabilitated". the whole reason she was probably even cast was as a demonstration for higher ups that brainwashing younger joys could be possible as part of a never seen through initiative. also this whole post was just supposed to be abt their backstories/the characters they played and i wasnt gonna get into any of their later true identities once they become rebels, but it is incredibly important to me that you know they become a transmasc butch lesbian who uses exclusively they/them and neopronouns

Donnie the Catcher (played by Cameron Barnes)

- Donnie's a sort of like sportacus from lazytown- the character encouraging fitness and healthy habits in kids. he was also extremely clumsy and not actually that great at many sports, emphasizing the idea that winning/losing doesn't matter so long as you're having fun with what youre doing. i think hed be the least changed character in bli's version, with their version of equality and non exceptionalism being HEAVILY emphasized. he also acts as basically a walking advertisement for the SCARECROW unit, with many of his games and exercises being underscored with encouragements for kids to look into crow recruitment when theyre older.

- Cameron was a Scarecrow, still kind of is as he was switched from active duty in the zones after the rest of his squadron was killed in a firefight and he found himself too traumatized to go back out in the field. the whole thing fosters a hatred for killjoys within him, sure, but it also makes him resent bli for sending him out there underprepared and to fight what hes quickly coming to believe is a pointless battle. he hates that his only options seem to be wasting away in the city or wasting away in the desert. but maybe if there were a third option...

and yeah this has gotten too long already so ill make the post abt their breaking out of the city and killjoy identities later :P all im gonna say rn is that their leaving becomes this huge public scandal, made worse when they continue using the names of their characters and claiming them as their new identities. the show is removed from the air almost instantly, and all mentions if it are scrubbed from public life- if you remember the Suitehearts no you dont.

They descend

look at these chemical romance doodles boy

Random Civilian: I love your accent, Commander. Where's it from?

Commander Fox: A cloning lab

people with blood on their teeth are just so special to me.

so i was reading a bunch of star wars fanfic (i have not actually watched star wars yet. shh.) and ruminating about how clearly the Jedi teachings have a serious disconnect between what they ostensibly mean (as a perfectly stable space philosophy based on a perfectly stable nonspace philosphy) and how they are presented, definitely irl (i.e. a number of people being like NO ATTACHMENTS?! NO EMOTIONS?! HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU GOVERN?! HAVE YOU NO COMPASSION?! when i am given to know that is in fact strictly incorrect) and presumably also in-universe because i have a very limited view of what exactly happened in Anakin’s head during Everything but popular consensus seems to be that There Was A Disconnect. and also possibly he needed therapy he maybe didn’t get, and also possibly that since the Jedi didn’t usually take in older initiates, they were legitimately unprepared to raise someone with different fundamental foundational ideas, even notwithstanding his specific circumstances.

*anyway*

then i jumped to reading a youjo senki fanfiction where Tanya was doing the ‘i believe strongly in the intensely rational and try not to let myself be ruled by emotions because that’s foolish and inefficient, what do you mean i am not always self aware about that’ thing. (i have personal interpretations of Tanya but they’re neither here nor there for the purposes of this thought.)

and then i made the connection of hey, what if post-life-as-Tanya she got yeeted into star wars? i mean you could also do some neat things with Salaryman getting yeeted directly there without being in youjo senki proper first, idk, but the main point is just… what sort of Jedi would Tanya be? because like her thing about ah yes we must not let emotions rule us, rational behaviour is the only way forward, *is* in direct opposition of any YOU MUST USE EMOTIONS TO FUEL THE DARK SIDE or whatever is going on there, like, that shit is something Tanya would be explicitly philosophically opposed to. (especially if she doesn’t have to go full magical doping into combat.)

on the other hand Tanya is… her decisions do not make her seem like an ideal Jedi, to the untrained eye. also while i personally interpet her even as Salaryman to have been neuroatypical as heck and therefore (mood) having a somewhat nonaverage experience with how emotions work, i feel also like there are some that she probably does just… not unpack properly? like, in a way that impedes inner peace and self-understanding or something, idk. which i feel like would be a quiet albatross around any potential Jedi teachings she may or may not absorb?

like i said idk, but mostly it would be interesting to explore the idea of how Tanya would react to getting isekai’d again, now into Star Wars, maybe as a baby Jedi. even notwithstanding how you could use her to fuck up the entire plot of Star Wars in basically any way you see fit, her relationship with the philosophical structure would be interesting to explore. also there are many ways you could append Being X to that superstructure, or, like, unappend him, and I think that would be neat.

Don’t think about malnourished baby Sammy. Don’t think about little four year old Dean begging his Dad to buy formula instead of ammunition, of four year old Dean burning himself trying to warm up Sammy’s milk. Don’t think about Dean waking up every couple hours after crawling into Sammy’s crib to make sure he was still breathing. Don’t think of little four year old Dean who used to beg to feed his little brother his bottle, now not having another option. Don’t think about baby Sammy getting sick and Dean begging John to make him a doctors appointment to make sure he’s okay. Don’t think of baby Sammy learning to walk with his older brother holding his hands, of baby Sammy crying when he sees John because he doesn’t recognize his own dad. Don’t think of baby Sammy calling Dean dad, or the fact that Sam’s first steps were towards Dean. Don’t think about the fact that the doctors were worried about Sam’s weight at that doctors appointment, and ever since, Dean has made sure that Sammy always had enough to eat, even at the cost to his own health.

Don’t think about twelve year old Dean collapsing on the first night of a hunt because he hadn’t eaten in four or five days, because Sammy needed the food. Don’t think about John yelling at Dean asking what the hell is wrong with him etc. and Dean just shrugs it off. Because he’s fine. And he ignores it. He shoves the aching for food way down and ignores it. So, when they go back into town because they hit a dead end, and get food at a diner, Dean gorges on the food, and eats half of John’s too. Don’t think about John seeing this, having a flash of worry but ignoring it because “it’s Dean he’s always fine.” Don’t think about Dean worrying the first time Sammy called him Dad because “no, no, no, Sammy, I’m your big brother Dean.” Because he’s worried that his Dad is going to freak out if he hears Sammy calling Dean dad.

Don’t think about the fact that Sam probably didn’t learn the word Mom until he was at school because it wasn’t something his dad and Dean said. Don’t think about Sam driving alone for the first time and hitting a dear and calling Dean because he didn’t trust that his dad would answer. Don’t think about Dean, sitting in some motel at 23 years old after a fight with his dad who stormed off debating calling Sam because he’s the only one who would get it.

Don’t think about the Winchester brothers as little kids left alone in motel rooms for too long, underfed, and unsure of when their Dad was going to be back.

Scary dog privilege

Eugene Korolev